Not sure about rushing...

UFGatorGirl311 · #1 08-09-2003, 05:50 PM

I'm really confused on what to do. I really wanted to Rush, and then I got really stressed about fall. I decided that I wasn't ready to make the commitment of pledging just yet, and I wanted to get to know the girls of the sororities before I decided to pledge. I also didn't want the time commitment of being in a sorority just yet so i could go home on the weekends if I get homesick, or to visit my boyfriend. I decided that I would pledge in the spring.

My mom is unhappy with this choice. She thinks that I should rush and pledge so I can have a close group of friends, and required grades and study time, and I would be able to maintain my level of volunteer work. I just feel like a huge load has been taken off my shoulders by putting off rushing until the spring, but I dont want to rish not being able to get a bid from anyone.

Any advice??

smiley21 · #2 08-09-2003, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by UFGatorGirl311
I'm really confused on what to do. I really wanted to Rush, and then I got really stressed about fall. I decided that I wasn't ready to make the commitment of pledging just yet, and I wanted to get to know the girls of the sororities before I decided to pledge. I also didn't want the time commitment of being in a sorority just yet so i could go home on the weekends if I get homesick, or to visit my boyfriend. I decided that I would pledge in the spring.

My mom is unhappy with this choice. She thinks that I should rush and pledge so I can have a close group of friends, and required grades and study time, and I would be able to maintain my level of volunteer work. I just feel like a huge load has been taken off my shoulders by putting off rushing until the spring, but I dont want to rish not being able to get a bid from anyone.

Any advice??

from what i hear, a lot of the sororities are at quota in the fall. so in the spring, there is a very small number of sororities offering membership. your choices will be limited. however, the decision is up to you

erniegurl00 · #3 08-09-2003, 06:09 PM

Ok these are my thoughts on the situation.

You should do whatever you feel you can keep up with. This is the reason why a lot of campuses have deferred recruitment. This gives the PNM's time to adjust. However, your formal recruitment is in the fall. It will be an adjustment to get used to your new surroundings, classes, etc. But, I think your mom is right. Joining a house (or at least rushing) will help you meet people and adjust to the campus quicker and more easily. Also, from experience I'm going to say this. Don't go home a lot on weekends. This is sound advice I was given when I was a freshmen. I had a steady boyfriend who lived an hour away. My best friend at the time and roommate went home because she was homesick almost every weekend, and in the end she's still not totally adapted to college life. (And we're seniors now!) You're going to get homesick, but going home won't make it a lot better because more than likely it'll make it harder to go back. Again, this is said from experience. I know this is rambling, but I hope it makes some sense!

Maybe you could still go through recruitment and get a feel for sorority life. You could ask the sorority members and see how much of a committment pledging would be. I know I was a slightly busier when I was pledging, but it slowed down a bit once I was an active. You don't have to join a house if you go through recruitment.

AchtungBaby80 · #4 08-09-2003, 06:49 PM

Maybe you were dreading it because you're nervous? I know I was. But just because you rush doesn't mean you have to pledge, like erniegurl said...I think you should go ahead and rush, if not to actually join a house then just for the experience.

lionlove · #5 08-09-2003, 07:05 PM

I would go through rush in the fall. Rushing is not a commitment and you don't have to join a house if you don't want to. Not rushing however will take away the option.

Do not go home every weekend. Take time when you arrive to enjoy campus life, meet new people and get involved.

IheartMATT806 · #6 08-09-2003, 07:13 PM

Although I did not go through Fall Rush so I cannot speak for all, I decided to hold off and rush in the Spring. There, I was able to go around and meet all of the organizations and get a feel for what I was in for. Through rush, I meet some amazing girls. Not all went Phi Sig but due to Spring Rush, I got to meet people now in other organizations that I would have never met otherwise. I worked hard on my grades in the Fall and had plenty of time to feel stable in school BEFORE I jumped into the fast pace life of my sorority. Being completly biast, I am more thankful to have gone through Spring Rush. On the other hand if you know EXACTLY who you want to go to then dont waste anymore time and get into those letters sooner..rush in the fall if that is the case. Whaterver you decide I am sure you will do fine. Good Luck!!

PKTKKG · #7 08-09-2003, 07:16 PM

I rushed as a junior even though I wanted to as a sophomore and didn't do it. I've always regretted not going through as a freshman after I joined because I had the time of my life. Formal recruitment is definitely the way to go. You have more options during formal recruitment, and if you are leaning towards joining you will be so glad.

As a new member, you will have more of a time commitment. But you can do anything you put your mind to, and I promise it will be time well spent. Sororities encourage women to be active in other facets of college life since it strengthens the chapter and sisterhood overall. You can be as active as you choose, and I promise you will NEVER regret it. Let us know what you decide, and we can't wait to hear how things go for you!

Betarulz! · #8 08-10-2003, 03:47 AM

Go through with it now!!!

It's totally normal to feel anxious and nervous about going off to college. Hell I went through that period and I already had signed with a fraternity by that point.

As much as I know you probably dont' want to hear it, your mom is absolutely right. It is important to have a group of people you can become close to early on.

Homesickness is usually caused by the feelings of being alone on campus, not really having anyone you know or feel close to, so in all actuality, I think joining a sorority will prevent feeling homesick. ( I hope that made sense...it's late.) Plus there will be plenty of time to go home if you need/want to, no sorority is that time consuming. But really, having things you want to do and having reasons for you family to come visit you at school (things like Dad's day and Parent's weekend put on by your potential cahpter) will help alleviate your homesickness way better then going home which will only serve to allienate you more and make you feel like maybe going off to school wasn't such a good idea.

Also a sorority will help you with that adjustment to college life, as the older girls will be able to give you advice and answer your questions and help you get acclimated to college life. Nothing like getting used to college routine THEN adding in pledging (that's a whole year of adjustment rather than one semester).

Finally, Florida rush is very competitive and therefore your options may be extremely limited if you go through rush later. Going through COB at an SEC school might mean that your perfect house won't even be an option for you.

I sincerely hope you decide to go through rush. I promise you that you aren't likely to regret it if you go through and join a house in this first semester.

mmcat · #9 08-10-2003, 08:40 AM

if you don't do it now, you will always wonder what might have been. and to echo the others, you don't have to pledge. at a minimum, you'll be out a little time and you might meet some new people. you might even like it.

honeychile · #10 08-10-2003, 11:03 AM

I want to echo the sentiments of everyone who has advised you to go ahead with rush, whether or not you plan to make the commitment. You'll have a leg up on knowing many of the sisters, should you plan to postpone actually pledging.

Think of it like swimming - test the waters before you plunge in!

Whichever choice you make, I do hope that you'll find a sorority home that you love!

BlondeGurl · #11 08-10-2003, 03:31 PM

I went through formal recruitment last fall and I just want to say that is will benefit you more than you can imagine!
You think that it will take up a lot of your time...and it will, but it will also help you organize your time in ways that other incoming freshmen dont learn to do until their sophmore or even Junior year so their grades end up suffering. If you are really as concerned about 'time managment' as you say you are...the best thing that I can see you doing is to RUSH. Time management is important if you want to make a trip home every weekend and be able to do something besides study. Also, I had a boyfriend when to college and he went to a different college 3 hours away, even though I pledged a sorority I still had the time to go almost every weekend and see him. But when I couldn't it wasn't as bad because my sisters were there to hang out ith and take up my time so I didnt miss my family and boyfriend. The girls in your sorority are there to help you. They are your support group while your away from home so that you wont feel home sick...or miss your boyfriend as much as if you were at school on your own.

Of course I am biased...I RUSHed, but I have also had the advantage of seeing a LOT of freshman that didnt RUSH and their struggles with school, friends, and 'time managment'. I think your mother is only thinking of your best interests...its rair to find a mom that actually wants her daughter to join a sorority ... you are very lucky. MY dad has only just begun to support my decision and is buying my sorority some stuff for our Bid Day this year.

Just one more thing to add to my BOOK ... Not everyone has RUSH in the Spring so of course your choices will be limited, but isnt mentioned is that if decide to wait to have a choice from ALL of the sororities on your campus and gothrough Formal Recruitment next year...you will still be limited...because, as you have seen posted before on this forum, in the fall sororities usually take only a limited number of sophomore, juniors, and seniors. NOW is the best time to go through...it is the time when EVERYTHING is to your advantage.

I dont mean tot sound harsh, I jsut feel very strongly about RUSHing your freshman year, because otherwise your chances of getting in are ALWAYS limited...whether it be because it is the spring and all the sororities arent participating or because there are fewer spots that you can fit into because you waited and arent a freshman anymore.

AllisonDG · #12 08-10-2003, 03:36 PM

While I enjoy being in a sorority, I know that I would have just as much fun being independent. College is what you make of it and while a sorority can enhance your experience, I think that you can make awesome friendships and bonds without being in a sorority. Rushing and pledging does take up a lot of time and if you think that you can't handle it, i would say hold off on it. You dont want to mess up your education, which is a permanent thing. Good luck!

~Allison

shadokat · #13 08-10-2003, 11:07 PM

My only worry for you is that you wait until the spring, and then most houses are already at quota, so your choices will be limited. But, if you really don't think you can handle it, that's something only you can decide. And I can't remember who said it, but the best advice is to try to limit going home during your first semester. You need time to adjust to living away from home and being on your own. Your boyfriend can come visit you

GeekyPenguin · #14 08-11-2003, 03:05 AM

Betarulz! made a great post...

I honestly think that if I had rushed my first semester, it would have made a big difference in how I felt about my school - even if I hadn't joined, I would have met lots more people and thus liked it more.

Rushing doesn't mean you have to accept a bid, but my bet is if you rush and get a bid, it'll be from a chapter you love, and you'll want to join!

33girl · #15 08-11-2003, 10:22 AM

At any other school I would say I totally understand and agree with how you feel and say wait...but this is UF. If you put it off till the spring, you do risk not getting a bid at all or having a very limited choice of sororities.

I know I'm going to get jumped on for this comment, but if it turns out you do like one of the smaller sororities, you can drop out of rush and pledge in the spring.