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  #1  
Old 05-13-2014, 03:06 PM
Signed up user Signed up user is offline
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Going back to college for another degree and rushing a fraternity, advice?

So I am 26 years old and have decided to go back to college for another degree. Needless to say, my undergrad social experience in college was hell. I never knew what a fraternity was and going to an SEC school this severely limited my social life in many many ways. It could have changed my life permanently and for the best if I was in a fraternity but due to many complications I could not rush.

For one I came to the US from another country at the age of 11 and went to an inner city high school, didn't even know what a fraternity or greek life was. Another thing is I had a lot of AP credits entering college so I was able to graduate in 3 years, financially amazing but socially terrible.

I have decided to go back to college for another degree (Arizona St) and was wondering if rushing a fraternity is even possible. As weird as it sounds I have always wanted that experience of being in a fraternity and having a brotherhood since I never really had a chance for that (half of the people from my graduating class in high school are in jail). Money is not a problem for me because I managed to get into a high paying job but I do want the kind of brotherhood that comes with being in a fraternity since in the real world it is impossible to find.

The reason I am going back to college is to get an arts degree because I have always wanted to pursue that field, for some reason it has been my passion but due to career prospects I went the STEM way.
  #2  
Old 05-13-2014, 05:53 PM
TSteven TSteven is offline
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Originally Posted by Signed up user View Post
So I am 26 years old and have decided to go back to college for another degree. Needless to say, my undergrad social experience in college was hell. I never knew what a fraternity was and going to an SEC school this severely limited my social life in many many ways. It could have changed my life permanently and for the best if I was in a fraternity but due to many complications I could not rush.

For one I came to the US from another country at the age of 11 and went to an inner city high school, didn't even know what a fraternity or greek life was. Another thing is I had a lot of AP credits entering college so I was able to graduate in 3 years, financially amazing but socially terrible.

I have decided to go back to college for another degree (Arizona St) and was wondering if rushing a fraternity is even possible. As weird as it sounds I have always wanted that experience of being in a fraternity and having a brotherhood since I never really had a chance for that (half of the people from my graduating class in high school are in jail). Money is not a problem for me because I managed to get into a high paying job but I do want the kind of brotherhood that comes with being in a fraternity since in the real world it is impossible to find.

The reason I am going back to college is to get an arts degree because I have always wanted to pursue that field, for some reason it has been my passion but due to career prospects I went the STEM way.
It may be possible as in general, some fraternities may allow bids to be extended to graduates. However, I suspect the majority of chapters (nationally and at Arizona State) are not likely to do so. Also, the majority of most chapters are made up of 18 to 22 year olds, so you being 26 could be an issue with some (perhaps most) chapters. You mentioned you didn’t rush at your first undergraduate college due to “many complications”. I would also venture to guess that you should be prepared to explain what the “complications” were as to why you didn’t rush at your first campus.

If you have any friends that attend or have attended Arizona State, you may want to contact them (or maybe the Arizona State Greek Life office) and ask them about “older students” joining fraternities. If it seems like older students do, then it may not be that much of an issue. But if that seems out of the norm, you are certainly welcome to try, but know that you are not likely to receive a bid.

Best of luck.
  #3  
Old 05-13-2014, 07:39 PM
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Issues or complications were:


- transferred colleges (went the CC route)
- only spent 1.5 years at the 4 year university I was at
- could not rush as a senior due to being busy with applications, internships, and everything else of the sort (time management skills were poor)
  #4  
Old 05-13-2014, 08:24 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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Possible? Yes. If you are a full time student seeking an undergrad degree, there shouldn't be anything prohibiting you from rushing.

Likely success? No. Give it a shot if you want, but I'm assuming you will be seen as that weird old guy who keeps coming to our parties. But I could be wrong! Seek it out, but keep up your radar for social cues that they are just being polite and not overly welcoming.
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  #5  
Old 05-13-2014, 08:35 PM
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Well if it helps I am in good shape and tend to relate well with guys in their early 20s as opposed to mid 20s guys my age (26).
  #6  
Old 05-13-2014, 08:58 PM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Well if it helps I am in good shape and tend to relate well with guys in their early 20s as opposed to mid 20s guys my age (26).
You really have to quit trying to justify your desire to join a fraternity and maybe read what people here are telling you. IF you have already made up your mind, then there is no point in asking for our opinion.

Social fraternities are primarily younger men, 18-22. You know that. You are significantly older, and hopefully more mature, than that. How are you going to feel taking orders & training (for lack of a better term) from 19-20 year olds? Yes, there will certainly be some members that are older than the norm, but the majority of fraternity members are going to be much younger than you.

Social fraternities also have lots of parties and planned activities with 18-22 yr old college girls. It will be pretty creepy, and even a bit lecherous, for you to socialize with those college girls. Just not a good idea.

Please consider looking for other avenues to bond with a more appropriate group of students when you get to ASU.
  #7  
Old 05-13-2014, 10:33 PM
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I wouldn't have any problems that you listed above, I did my research. My question was not about the morals of the whole thing, just whether it can be done. And no other avenues are just, for a lack of a better word, lame. I prefer to be friends with young guys who know how to party but also have a sense of a brotherhood.

Nothing creepy about a 26 year old guy with a 21 yr old girl, I have met plenty of couples like this.
  #8  
Old 05-13-2014, 10:37 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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It's gonna work out great. Go through rush, have an awesome time and let us know which badge you choose for initiation!
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  #9  
Old 05-13-2014, 10:42 PM
clemsongirl clemsongirl is offline
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I wouldn't have any problems that you listed above, I did my research. My question was not about the morals of the whole thing, just whether it can be done. And no other avenues are just, for a lack of a better word, lame. I prefer to be friends with young guys who know how to party but also have a sense of a brotherhood.

Nothing creepy about a 26 year old guy with a 21 yr old girl, I have met plenty of couples like this.
Most of the girls that go to fraternity parties, at least in my experience, do so at least in part because they aren't old enough to legally consume alcohol. I would imagine that there will be a whole lot more 18- and 20-year olds than 21-year-olds at these hypothetical fraternity parties you're attending, and I would certainly classify that age difference as creepy.

More important than the age difference, though, is the life experience difference. You, an adult who already has gone through undergrad, would be partying with young girls who have just left home for the first time and are in a completely different place than you are lifewise. If you don't mention your age at parties it might not be a huge issue, but you might find that you don't want to spend a lot of time with girls (and guys) who are still teenagers.

In short, if you want to rush then clearly we can't stop you, and you seem to have made up your mind already. Just don't be surprised if it doesn't end up working out in your favor.

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It's gonna work out great. Go through rush, have an awesome time and let us know which badge you choose for initiation!
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  #10  
Old 05-13-2014, 10:48 PM
MysticCat MysticCat is offline
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I wouldn't have any problems that you listed above, I did my research. My question was not about the morals of the whole thing, just whether it can be done. And no other avenues are just, for a lack of a better word, lame. I prefer to be friends with young guys who know how to party but also have a sense of a brotherhood.

Nothing creepy about a 26 year old guy with a 21 yr old girl, I have met plenty of couples like this.
We get that you wouldn't have any problems with any of this. You don't seem to get that members of chapters, whose decision it would be to offer a bid, and members of sororities with which they socialize very well may have a problem with it. They might not, but I certainly wouldn't count on it. That's leaving aside the question of whether, as a grad student, you would be eligible to receive a bid to start with.

And if you think a fraternity-like sense of brotherhood is impossible to find in "the real world," you haven't looked hard enough.
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  #11  
Old 05-13-2014, 11:11 PM
Pythia Pythia is offline
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I wouldn't have any problems that you listed above, I did my research. My question was not about the morals of the whole thing, just whether it can be done. And no other avenues are just, for a lack of a better word, lame. I prefer to be friends with young guys who know how to party but also have a sense of a brotherhood.

Nothing creepy about a 26 year old guy with a 21 yr old girl, I have met plenty of couples like this.
  #12  
Old 05-13-2014, 11:33 PM
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Well I was just asking about whether it is possible as in if it can be done, not about the morals behind it. And yes, it is impossible to find a brotherhood like a college fraternity once you are out of college.
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Old 05-13-2014, 11:38 PM
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Old 05-13-2014, 11:39 PM
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And honestly, I have had quite a few girls in the teenage category hit on me before. 18 is the legal age and I have known guys in their 30s who have been with 19 year old girls, it happens. My purpose of getting into a fraternity is not about the easy sex which the stereotypes seem to say, that never was. I am one of those guys that loves to party, get wasted, and yes fraternities are full of guys like that because I have talked to and hung out with guys in fraternities before. No other kind of group out there does that other than a fraternity, again, this is what I have learned over the years.

Seems to be female members getting more worked up over this than male members for some reason. But all I wanted to know was whether it can be done, not the morals behind it. But hey, why not try to be my mother?
  #15  
Old 05-13-2014, 11:45 PM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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And honestly, I have had quite a few girls in the teenage category hit on me before. 18 is the legal age and I have known guys in their 30s who have been with 19 year old girls, it happens. My purpose of getting into a fraternity is not about the easy sex which the stereotypes seem to say, that never was. I am one of those guys that loves to party, get wasted, and yes fraternities are full of guys like that because I have talked to and hung out with guys in fraternities before. No other kind of group out there does that other than a fraternity, again, this is what I have learned over the years.

Seems to be female members getting more worked up over this than male members for some reason. But all I wanted to know was whether it can be done, not the morals behind it. But hey, why not try to be my mother?
Well, bless your heart..... you are kind of a pig. Do NOT assume that any of us are trying to be your mother. We do better work than that.

Best of luck at ASU. I only wish we could be there for rush
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