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  #781  
Old 05-12-2009, 10:01 AM
VandalSquirrel VandalSquirrel is offline
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Originally Posted by kddani View Post
Vent: I understand that you're planning a wedding on a short time frame. However, that was no excuse to drag your feet in picking out the bridesmaids dresses. And, you picked one that no one carries, and that some places might be able to order. I found a place that could order from that designer. I drive almost an hour away to that place, get measured, and put down a deposit. Yesterday I get a call that sorry, they can't order it because they can't order from that particular line. So I call you right away to tell you what happened and to see if the other two bridesmaids had ordered theirs yet, if so, to see if they ordered it online, etc. I leave you a message before the end of the work day. And you can't call me back? You had time to post on facebook, but didn't have time to call me back or send me an email/facebook message? Time is of the essence here - your wedding is in less than 4 months!
Maybe it is a ploy to con you into the craziest fugliest bridesmaid dress ever because there will be no other options for you?

Something like this in umm avocado?
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  #782  
Old 05-12-2009, 03:31 PM
SthrnZeta SthrnZeta is offline
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Ordered the invites last night! This will be one of the most anticiapted packages I've ever received...!!!!!

And on a side note, is it rude to ask your bridesmaids to pay for their own hair and make-up? I'm having an on-location stylist come since most salons are closed on Sundays and it's $125 each to have both hair and make-up done for each girl. All of them have to travel to wedding location already, and of course buy their dress and shoes (got a David's Bridal dress that's around $130). I feel bad but we're working on a tight budget
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  #783  
Old 05-12-2009, 03:51 PM
agzg agzg is offline
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Originally Posted by SthrnZeta View Post
And on a side note, is it rude to ask your bridesmaids to pay for their own hair and make-up? I'm having an on-location stylist come since most salons are closed on Sundays and it's $125 each to have both hair and make-up done for each girl. All of them have to travel to wedding location already, and of course buy their dress and shoes (got a David's Bridal dress that's around $130). I feel bad but we're working on a tight budget
Do they have the option to do their hair and makeup themselves? If yes, then I would think it'd be ok. If no, then you've gotta figure something out.
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  #784  
Old 05-12-2009, 09:49 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Originally Posted by lilsunshine214 View Post
I am doing the same thing. I didn't require it of the members of the bridal party, but I told them that there will be two stylists and a make-up artist on location where the ceremony and reception site are. I gave them an estimate of how much it would cost and told them all I would give them a final estimate a week before the wedding. So far pretty much everyone is taking advantage of at least the stylists and my bridesmaids as well as my mom are taking advantage of the make-up artist.
See, and I think it's fine to provide that and let them know how much it costs in case they want it.

I think that whether it's rude or not depends on whether the bride is requiring them to have professional make-up and asking them to pay for it. Making it available and optional is not rude. I think requiring it and asking them to pay for it is rude.

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Last edited by KSUViolet06; 05-12-2009 at 10:04 PM.
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  #785  
Old 05-13-2009, 03:17 PM
SthrnZeta SthrnZeta is offline
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I asked them to indulge in the make-up for picutes sake but that I didn't mind if they did their own hair. And, they know I wouldn't be mad if they couldn't do it and decided to do their own. I'm not gonna go bridezilla on them, I'm not even making them get the same shoes, just the same dress. So far, I've talked to 3 out of my 4 bridesmaids and all 3 of them want both since none of them usually do much in terms of hair and make-up.

I agree though, it would be way rude if I said they must do both AND pay for it. The moms are in the budget so they're definitely getting both and I know they both want to get pampered that day too
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  #786  
Old 05-13-2009, 05:03 PM
APhi Sailorgirl APhi Sailorgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn View Post
I am married and never heard of an escort card...until now-I looked it up. It was an escort card in a picture frame that would be one of the souveniers.
I only know what one is b/c of the knot and its brainwashing.
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  #787  
Old 05-21-2009, 02:32 PM
chitownxo chitownxo is offline
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My husband and I are going to his cousin's wedding this weekend, and I think it may be a doozy. Our invitation came addressed to "Dave and Samantha", which would be fine...if my name was Samantha. My shower invitation had the correct first name, but the last name was spelled incorrectly. To top it off, I received an e/m from the bride-to-be yesterday, and I'm still shaking my head. It reads, it part, " For those of you who have yet to buy us a gift, please note that our registry has been completed. Etiquette requires that your cash gift must at least cover your dinner. We paid $29.00 a plate, so each couple at minimum should give at least $60.00. Also, please note that we are having a money tree to help pay our honeymoon expenses. Thanks."

My husband has been begging me not to give them a copy of Emily Post's Etiquette as a gift. Sadly for him, it's already been purchased..I just don't know if I'm mean enough to give it to them.
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  #788  
Old 05-21-2009, 03:29 PM
aephi alum aephi alum is offline
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DO IT.
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  #789  
Old 05-21-2009, 03:50 PM
agzg agzg is offline
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That e-mail is an outrage. Do it, and everyone else on the e-mail list should, too. Etiquette requires that she shut the hell up and graciously accept whatever someone gives her.
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  #790  
Old 05-21-2009, 03:54 PM
SydneyK SydneyK is offline
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Originally Posted by chitownxo View Post
Etiquette requires that your cash gift must at least cover your dinner. We paid $29.00 a plate, so each couple at minimum should give at least $60.00. ...

My husband has been begging me not to give them a copy of Emily Post's Etiquette as a gift.
Wow. It's amazing that someone could be so rude. People like this make me want to find creative ways to piss them off. Like, at the reception, I would lay dollar bills across my plate until the plate is covered, take a picture, then include that pic and the corersponding number of dollars in a card (with the bride-to-be's email) saying, "I covered my plate with only $12 (see picture), so here's 24 bucks from the two of us."

But seriously, that's a tough call. If it were my own family, I would definitely give the book as a gift (with the email printed out and bookmarking an appropriate section for the bride to read). If the bride-to-be were my hubby's cousin (as in this situation), I probably wouldn't do that.

I think I would just buy something she didn't register for. Not only that, but I'd even go so far as to have it monogrammed so she couldn't regift it.
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  #791  
Old 05-21-2009, 03:57 PM
chitownxo chitownxo is offline
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Originally Posted by SydneyK View Post
I think I would just buy something she didn't register for. Not only that, but I'd even go so far as to have it monogrammed so she couldn't regift it.
Ooh, I didn't think of that!! It's creative, yet evil. I like it.
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  #792  
Old 05-21-2009, 04:26 PM
Munchkin03 Munchkin03 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chitownxo View Post
" For those of you who have yet to buy us a gift, please note that our registry has been completed. Etiquette requires that your cash gift must at least cover your dinner. We paid $29.00 a plate, so each couple at minimum should give at least $60.00. Also, please note that we are having a money tree to help pay our honeymoon expenses. Thanks."
What the EFF! I don't know who came up with that stupid rule, 'cause I would totally strangle them, but price per plate is not standard protocol and never has been.

I would buy a gift card from a soon-to-be-defunct store.
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  #793  
Old 05-21-2009, 04:34 PM
VandalSquirrel VandalSquirrel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chitownxo View Post
My husband and I are going to his cousin's wedding this weekend, and I think it may be a doozy. Our invitation came addressed to "Dave and Samantha", which would be fine...if my name was Samantha. My shower invitation had the correct first name, but the last name was spelled incorrectly. To top it off, I received an e/m from the bride-to-be yesterday, and I'm still shaking my head. It reads, it part, " For those of you who have yet to buy us a gift, please note that our registry has been completed. Etiquette requires that your cash gift must at least cover your dinner. We paid $29.00 a plate, so each couple at minimum should give at least $60.00. Also, please note that we are having a money tree to help pay our honeymoon expenses. Thanks."

My husband has been begging me not to give them a copy of Emily Post's Etiquette as a gift. Sadly for him, it's already been purchased..I just don't know if I'm mean enough to give it to them.
You should give her/them monogrammed thank you notes, that way she/they has no excuse to not send any. Hell you could even include some stamps to cover your slice of cake

Am I crazy that I don't expect anything at my wedding except for people to show up? When I was getting married it was so hard to do a registry because we had almost everything we needed from living as grown adults (wanted is a whole other matter). We did a registry to make it easy for people who did want to buy us a gift, but it was Macy's and Bed, Bath and Beyond as kitchen stuff is always nice.

I have a friend who registered for wedding stuff, got it, and got so much crap it is still in boxes in storage as they have no need for their 12 place setting china service. What a waste of space, gifts they don't even use.
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  #794  
Old 05-21-2009, 04:57 PM
APhi Sailorgirl APhi Sailorgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by chitownxo View Post
We paid $29.00 a plate, so each couple at minimum should give at least $60.00.
Honestly that sounds like a fairly cheap dinner, kinda like the bride sounds in her communication. Watch out, it might also be cash bar WITH tip jars out.

Give them a card and nothing else. Although I think anonymously mailing the book with several pages flagged would be a good idea too.
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  #795  
Old 05-21-2009, 05:14 PM
AGDee AGDee is offline
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In all honesty, the rule of thumb within in my family is to cover the cost of your per plate fee. HOWEVER, that cost is never EVER told by the bride herself nor would the brides ever consider sending an email telling people that! It's much more discreet, you look it up on the hall's website to get an idea of the cost. Or, back in the day, you'd discuss stuff like that with your bridesmaids who sorta let folks know "It's $39 a plate".

I agree that $29 a plate is really cheap. That's what the per plate cost was for my first wedding back in 1989, including an open bar!
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