D&R Random

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Touch is my love language but I always thought I'd be okay with an LDR because being around a man for too long annoyed me no matter how into him I was. That changed when I a) got better social skills and b) spent time with men I was way more into than any of the guys I'd dated in the past.

In short, I was doing it wrong.

I have a co-worker whose got married 10, 12 years ago? She lives in my city, her husband lived/still lives in Chicago. From outward appearances they're happy. She was 40+ then, sort of set in her ways and it was her first marriage (don't know about him) but maybe that helped her. I don't know why it works but apparently it does.

I'd guess when one of them visits the other, they turn off phones and all other contact with the outside world for the weekend, but other than that, it would seem weird to me.

[Iota Man]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Look, dude, I'm trying cut you some slack, but drop the Jr. High "big girl" bullshit. It's really old, and rude.

[Iota Man]

I don't know anything about folks and these love languages. Never really heard of it. Does "touch" fall under tappin that ass? LOL! For real, though, I would be touch, not so much as just tappin it, but I gotta be around my girl, for real. I like that physical part of the relationship.

[TonyB06]

^^ The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

^^ The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

I'm strongly Acts of Service, then Words of Encouragement.

Gifts, Quality Time, and Touch are on the bottom for me.

My husband is Quality Time & Touch.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

I have a co-worker whose got married 10, 12 years ago? She lives in my city, her husband lived/still lives in Chicago. From outward appearances they're happy. She was 40+ then, sort of set in her ways and it was her first marriage (don't know about him) but maybe that helped her. I don't know why it works but apparently it does.

I'd guess when one of them visits the other, they turn off phones and all other contact with the outside world for the weekend, but other than that, it would seem weird to me.

Yes, there is a woman at my job whose husband lives in Florida. As someone whose languages are touch then quality time as a trailing second, I have no idea how they make that work.

I bought the 5LLs for Singles. It gave some really good insight to how all this works with friendships and family relationships, too.

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Yes, there is a woman at my job whose husband lives in Florida. As someone whose languages are touch then quality time as a trailing second, I have no idea how they make that work.

I bought the 5LLs for Singles. It gave some really good insight to how all this works with friendships and family relationships, too.

As a Words of Affirmation guy (w/ Quality Time as my second LL), I don't think a long-distance relationship (w/out some sort of end-date resolution built in) wouldn't have worked for me either.

What have/had you found to be the biggest diffrentiators in the 5LLs for Singles? particularly regarding friendships? (I've not read any of GC's spin-off books, so I'm interested if his basic "language theories" hold or if he has other views on other types of relationships?)

[Iota Man]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

^^ The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Nothing against dude, but I looked it up and read a little bit about him and his book. I don't believe in or get into those kinds of self-help books. They're not realistic. What I mean is books like that will talk a lot how you should be doing things with your girl/boy, but that's not how relationships always work. They don't always fall inline like that. You feel me? If that was the case, everybody would be reading that shit and following it. Folks get all into that biblical shit which is cool, because I follow God, too, but those self-help authors write that shit to do one thing and that's to get paid. In a real life setting, it doesn't work like that.

[AGDee]

6 Words of Affirmation
12 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
6 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch

This is funny.. I have been annoyed at times with men who bought me lots of gifts for no reason because I felt like they were just trying to impress me or buy me. I'm not impressed with gifts or money. I do like quality time and everything else is probably about equal.

So I realized today it's been about a month since I last emailed EMUProf and he never responded. I was right to be mentally writing him off.

Tomorrow a bunch of us at work are going to Five Guys, including work guy. Maybe I'll find out whether he's married.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Iota Man

Nothing against dude, but I looked it up and read a little bit about him and his book. I don't believe in or get into those kinds of self-help books. They're not realistic. What I mean is books like that will talk a lot how you should be doing things with your girl/boy, but that's not how relationships always work. They don't always fall inline like that. You feel me? If that was the case, everybody would be reading that shit and following it. Folks get all into that biblical shit which is cool, because I follow God, too, but those self-help authors write that shit to do one thing and that's to get paid. In a real life setting, it doesn't work like that.

I have respect for Dr. Gary Chapman because he is educated, well-researched, has extensive experience in marriage and the family (which is an interdisciplinary field), and is a minister.

With that said, the Love Languages thing truly is annoying as is The Secret and other guides. People are forgetting/ignoring things that have been known for generations and giving credit where it is not due. My favorite thing is when someone's contribution to a conversation is "there are five love languages...this is how I love...."

That is how I know when people are missing the point and are finding something--anything--to quote and follow.

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Tomorrow a bunch of us at work are going to Five Guys, including work guy. Maybe I'll find out whether he's married.

...I had to re-read this sentence again, slowly. Initially, I was like "wow, AGDee is gettin' it in." LOL

[Dionysus]

I'm definately a quality time person, romantic and platonic-wise. It seems like it's the thing I get the least from people. Fuck everyone's busy lives.

I'm a touch person the least. In fact, I hate touching or being touched, unless I'm horny.

[Iota Man]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I have respect for Dr. Gary Chapman because he is educated, well-researched, has extensive experience in marriage and the family (which is an interdisciplinary field), and is a minister.

I feel you, but with him being a minister, that really doesn't mean shit, though.

Originally Posted by DrPhil

With that said, the Love Languages thing truly is annoying as is The Secret and other guides. People are forgetting/ignoring things that have been known for generations and giving credit where it is not due. My favorite thing is when someone's contribution to a conversation is "there are five love languages...this is how I love...."

That is how I know when people are missing the point and are finding something--anything--to quote and follow.

LOL I feel you. The shit is pretty stupid to me. I feel you, though.

[Iota Man]

Last night I was talking to my girl about switching it up a little. Different positions are cool, but I like to try new things/new ways. What's foul as hell is I wanted to try anal, and some other freaky shit I won't post about, because folks on here might not be feeling me with it. She rejected both of my requests. I think when two people are in a relationship, and one person wants to try some new shit, the other person should be down with it. It's about pleasing each other isn't it? I don't see anything wrong with anal. The other experiment I wanted to try, I could understand, but my thing is, if you've never tried it how do you know it's foul as hell?

[Iota Man]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

As a Words of Affirmation guy (

LOL @ this mofo.