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  #16  
Old 04-04-2005, 12:37 PM
FAB*SpiceySpice FAB*SpiceySpice is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by CUGreekgirl
Honestly, that is starting to look like a good option.

I mean hell, I thought guys like a girl who was a little bit of a challege. I was just trying to play the game. I didn't even go out w/ the guy and i just said I might go hang out w/ him. Besides, we haven't had the official 'what are we' talk yet, so as far as I know we were still just casually dating (it's only been 1 mnth) and we were still free to date other people. Guess I was wrong.........
Was this the guy from church?

If so, I could have told you that it wouldn't have been a good idea to date around just b/c you didn't have the "talk" yet.
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  #17  
Old 04-04-2005, 01:30 PM
KSig RC KSig RC is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by CUGreekgirl
Honestly, that is starting to look like a good option.

I mean hell, I thought guys like a girl who was a little bit of a challege. I was just trying to play the game. I didn't even go out w/ the guy and i just said I might go hang out w/ him. Besides, we haven't had the official 'what are we' talk yet, so as far as I know we were still just casually dating (it's only been 1 mnth) and we were still free to date other people. Guess I was wrong.........

let me connect the dots for you, because honestly I think you're just bad at guys - here's a rundown of how it looks from the peanut gallery, and remember that I'm seriously trying to help.

1 - you meet boy at church, you're interested, he is too but you're concerned about his lack of experience

2 - you roll out some clown in the bar, afraid this will damage your chance with first boy

3 - you acquire second chance with boy, then begin to see somewhat bootleg patterns in your interactions (which appear to have a large IM component)

4 - you become effusive over the boy, about how great things are going, how you're going to take it slow (even with #2 fresh in mind, or maybe especially), but how you're now very into him

5 - you make a pseudo-step toward going out with another dude (and use the classic 'no-talk' copout), then are stunned when the same kid from step 1 is not cool w/ that. On top of this, you act as if he has done you wrong, because you're now heartbroken.

Now, dude, I think that when it's laid out in this skeleton, you can see more easily the dramatic disconnect in what's been happening. First, I don't think you were nearly into this kid as you wanted to be, either that or you spent a lot of effort to sabotage the relationship - PS that's the number-one sign for "crazycrazycrazy" in girls, to guys.

Second, it's OK to want to date around, especially if you're not ready for a relationship - embrace that, but let the guys know, you'll save a lot of 'heartbreak' (mostly for them, but apparently for you too). If you want to use dudes for sex, do it, but you don't need an excuse for it. Just want to do it.

Third, I think you need to look at how you view these relationships. You seem very centered on your self and how you're being affected - that's all good when I occasionally do it, because I'm kind of a dick and I'm totally up-front about it with those certain girls I'm using for a prop. I'm also not dating virgins I met at church. For you, you'll have to change some things to pull it off. Think about who you're going after, and why, yo.

-RC
--is obviously bored at work, but I mean this in earnest, kid
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  #18  
Old 04-04-2005, 01:32 PM
Peaches-n-Cream Peaches-n-Cream is offline
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I never understood the casually dating other people when you're seeing one person you like unless you really didn't like him all that much.

In other news, I am actually making some wedding progress. We still haven't set a date, but we have information about wedding facilities and prices. GASP! This will be more expensive than I thought, and I thought it would be quite expensive.
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  #19  
Old 04-04-2005, 04:18 PM
HotDamnImAPhiMu HotDamnImAPhiMu is offline
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Right, so. I've been out a couple times with this guy. Unfortunately he's not that cute. Great otherwise though. So, I kind of haven't decided where I stand on him. Might keep him, might throw him back. It's only been two dates.

How many dates can I go on before this qualifies as leading him on? I'm hoping the pendulum will swing pretty quickly but in the meantime I'm not letting him pay for me when we go out.
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  #20  
Old 04-04-2005, 04:41 PM
chideltjen chideltjen is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
In other news, I am actually making some wedding progress. We still haven't set a date, but we have information about wedding facilities and prices. GASP! This will be more expensive than I thought, and I thought it would be quite expensive.
It depends on the day of the wedding and how big the demand for places are unfortunately. Example: Booking a wedding in June on a Saturday will be a lot more expensive than booking a wedding in September/October on a Friday.

Quote:
Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
Right, so. I've been out a couple times with this guy. Unfortunately he's not that cute. Great otherwise though. So, I kind of haven't decided where I stand on him. Might keep him, might throw him back. It's only been two dates.

How many dates can I go on before this qualifies as leading him on? I'm hoping the pendulum will swing pretty quickly but in the meantime I'm not letting him pay for me when we go out.
Holy cow this sounds like my guy... and we've been together for almost 5 months. He's not an A&E model by far, but he's not a troll either. Cute in his own right, I guess. But he's really really really nice and caring. I don't think it hit me until about a month after we were hanging out together.

But I let him make all the first moves. Since he's shy, it took a while so it gave me time to think. I'd say if your guy isn't complaining about making the relationship more serious yet, just kind of sit on it for a while. However if it's been about 4 dates and still nothing... cut him loose.

Last edited by chideltjen; 04-04-2005 at 04:47 PM.
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  #21  
Old 04-06-2005, 01:34 AM
sugar and spice sugar and spice is offline
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I miss him so much right now.
Because I'm an idiot.


AKLJKGJSLGN DSKL:GFKAGJKDLGS:GKLND<
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  #22  
Old 04-06-2005, 10:05 AM
HotDamnImAPhiMu HotDamnImAPhiMu is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by chideltjen
Holy cow this sounds like my guy... and we've been together for almost 5 months. He's not an A&E model by far, but he's not a troll either. Cute in his own right, I guess. But he's really really really nice and caring. I don't think it hit me until about a month after we were hanging out together.

Mine's a shitty kisser.

This changes everything. I just don't think I have the energy to train him properly. And while we're on the topic, ladies, can we talk for a second? I've been working hard for years on my exboyfriends. Every time I release one back into the wild he's better trained than when I got him. What are you guys doing here? Falling down on the job? This one CAN'T kiss (and one of you had him for 3 years, so let's just not even go there) thinks abortion is an acceptable 1st date topic and nipple rings are an acceptable 3rd date topic, and while he's an excellent cook, I can't help but feel somebody wasn't pulling their weight somewhere in the girlfriend chain. Good job whoever got him cooking (and cooking damn well, and with no complaints), but really I have very major issues with the terrible kissing.

Somebody is so off the cheerleading squad for this.
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  #23  
Old 04-06-2005, 02:08 PM
OtterXO OtterXO is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
Mine's a shitty kisser.

This changes everything. I just don't think I have the energy to train him properly. And while we're on the topic, ladies, can we talk for a second? I've been working hard for years on my exboyfriends. Every time I release one back into the wild he's better trained than when I got him. What are you guys doing here? Falling down on the job? This one CAN'T kiss (and one of you had him for 3 years, so let's just not even go there) thinks abortion is an acceptable 1st date topic and nipple rings are an acceptable 3rd date topic, and while he's an excellent cook, I can't help but feel somebody wasn't pulling their weight somewhere in the girlfriend chain. Good job whoever got him cooking (and cooking damn well, and with no complaints), but really I have very major issues with the terrible kissing.

Somebody is so off the cheerleading squad for this.
Duuuuuuuude, I SO agree with you. I dated a guy a couple years ago who was such a bad kisser that the only analogy I had for it (when trying to describe the horror to my friends) was that it was like eating mayonnaise...EW. It was cold and gross and he just kind of put his tongue in my mouth and left it there...ewwwwwwww. And the scary thing was, like your guy, some girl had let him kiss her like that for 2 years!!! There definitely was a breakdown in the chain of command on that one. I would let the inappropriate dating topics slide for now...maybe he's nervous so I'd give him a chance on that one. But the kissing..............I have no words.
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  #24  
Old 04-06-2005, 02:13 PM
cashmoney cashmoney is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by OtterXO
Duuuuuuuude, I SO agree with you. I dated a guy a couple years ago who was such a bad kisser that the only analogy I had for it (when trying to describe the horror to my friends) was that it was like eating mayonnaise...EW.


Hahaha.....thats funny. I remember banging a girl once who all my friends wanted to shag. After it happened they all wanted to know what it was like because of how hot she was. It was just outright terrible, I told them it was like fucking a mayonnaise jar-her shit was that bad.
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  #25  
Old 04-06-2005, 02:17 PM
kddani kddani is offline
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UGH I HATE HATE HATE BAD KISSERS! I mean, sometimes an initial few kisses aren't good until you get into the rhythm of each other and how the other person kisses, but if it doesn't improve, then it's hopeless. Guess it's a good reason to kiss on the first date Find out earlier!


trying to figure out what the hell to wear for a second date whic entails furniture shopping at both Ikea and Levin's and probably grabbing a bite to eat somewhere. Want to look cute, but we're going to have to load my patio set from Ikea in the back of his SUV I need to also be functional.
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  #26  
Old 04-06-2005, 02:28 PM
OtterXO OtterXO is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by cashmoney
Hahaha.....thats funny. I remember banging a girl once who all my friends wanted to shag. After it happened they all wanted to know what it was like because of how hot she was. It was just outright terrible, I told them it was like fucking a mayonnaise jar-her shit was that bad.
hahahahaha...that's such a different use of mayo as an adjective but it's still gross. My friends still talk about mayo boy as the farthest down on the gross scale as you can get in kissing...haha.
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Last edited by OtterXO; 04-06-2005 at 02:36 PM.
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  #27  
Old 04-06-2005, 03:17 PM
HotDamnImAPhiMu HotDamnImAPhiMu is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by kddani
trying to figure out what the hell to wear for a second date whic entails furniture shopping at both Ikea and Levin's and probably grabbing a bite to eat somewhere. Want to look cute, but we're going to have to load my patio set from Ikea in the back of his SUV I need to also be functional.

Jeans and a tight tshirt.




Seriously who let him kiss her like that for 3 years. Who.
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  #28  
Old 04-06-2005, 03:23 PM
OtterXO OtterXO is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
Jeans and a tight tshirt.

Seriously who let him kiss her like that for 3 years. Who.
I agree with jeans and tight shirt, or maybe an athletic-ish fitted track jacket or hoodie. Something attractive but not totally done up.

Okay HotDamn, please explain how bad it is (if only to add adjectives to my kissing description bank) ...is it mayonnaise? or possibly worse? And are you going to keep seeing him?
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  #29  
Old 04-06-2005, 03:41 PM
HotDamnImAPhiMu HotDamnImAPhiMu is offline
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He makes his tongue too pointy. You know what I mean? And kisses too softly, so it is kind of mayonnaise-ish in that way. Then he warms up.... and he's all teeth. Nothing in the middle. Like some sort of aggressive aquarium fish. He was all over the map.

I kind of felt like a bitch because earlier in the evening I'd been giving him some pointers (uh, Jason, some girls like it better if you don't try to cop a feel immediately on assuming any position other than standing) so I didn't want to give him the impression that (a) he's an idiot or (b) I'm some kind of expert. But, I mean, I *am* an expert in what I like, and he IS an idiot if he thinks this overuse of spit is going to go over well with anyone other than his apparently-too-compliant exgirlfriend from HS/early college.

From what I can tell, he's 25 and not had a consistent girlfriend for long since early college. He's a good catch, too: went to a great undergrad, was in a decent fraternity, has a good job with a well-known organization, has been accepted to law school. And he's nice to his family, seems like an overall decent guy. BUT THIS KISSING. I feel like this could be the dealbreaker alone here.

Anyone want to put out suggestions on how quickly you can identify if he's open to training? I mean, he might be worth it, but I do not want to subject myself to a month worth of bad kissing for nothing. That's worse than no kissing.
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  #30  
Old 04-06-2005, 04:16 PM
OtterXO OtterXO is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
He makes his tongue too pointy. You know what I mean? And kisses too softly, so it is kind of mayonnaise-ish in that way. Then he warms up.... and he's all teeth. Nothing in the middle. Like some sort of aggressive aquarium fish. He was all over the map.

I kind of felt like a bitch because earlier in the evening I'd been giving him some pointers (uh, Jason, some girls like it better if you don't try to cop a feel immediately on assuming any position other than standing) so I didn't want to give him the impression that (a) he's an idiot or (b) I'm some kind of expert. But, I mean, I *am* an expert in what I like, and he IS an idiot if he thinks this overuse of spit is going to go over well with anyone other than his apparently-too-compliant exgirlfriend from HS/early college.

From what I can tell, he's 25 and not had a consistent girlfriend for long since early college. He's a good catch, too: went to a great undergrad, was in a decent fraternity, has a good job with a well-known organization, has been accepted to law school. And he's nice to his family, seems like an overall decent guy. BUT THIS KISSING. I feel like this could be the dealbreaker alone here.

Anyone want to put out suggestions on how quickly you can identify if he's open to training? I mean, he might be worth it, but I do not want to subject myself to a month worth of bad kissing for nothing. That's worse than no kissing.
Oh my god, I've kissed a pointy tongue!!!! I always wonder how people have gone so long without figuring out that what they're doing is just SO SO wrong. If I were you and wanted to figure out if he's trainable I would probably say something like "you know, I love it when you ___________ (insert something you like here)" From my experience guys, and inexperienced guys inparticular, would rather know that what they're doing is totally not working. The key is saying it in a delicate way so as not to crush their fragile egos. Try it, if he's a great guy like you say he might be worth a little training!
The guy that I'm dating wasn't horrible in the beginning but wasn't perfect either. I've found that it's getting better over time without me having to say anything, just positive reinforcement!
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