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  #1  
Old 03-09-2004, 01:44 PM
DigitalAngel126 DigitalAngel126 is offline
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Day Care

Just a question. I don't have kids, I think everyone knows that, therefore I've never really looked into any day care places. A good friend of mine started a job today and brought her 9 month old to a day care for the first time ever. Reading through the contract was pretty boring and everything seemed in line.. Until I got to the P.S. It read:

P.S. If you promise to believe only 1/3 of what you hear, I agree to believe only 1/3 of what your child tells me.

Doesn't sound right to me. What would you take that as?
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Old 03-09-2004, 01:50 PM
Lady Pi Phi Lady Pi Phi is offline
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Re: Day Care

Quote:
Originally posted by DigitalAngel126
Just a question. I don't have kids, I think everyone knows that, therefore I've never really looked into any day care places. A good friend of mine started a job today and brought her 9 month old to a day care for the first time ever. Reading through the contract was pretty boring and everything seemed in line.. Until I got to the P.S. It read:

P.S. If you promise to believe only 1/3 of what you hear, I agree to believe only 1/3 of what your child tells me.

Doesn't sound right to me. What would you take that as?
Wow, that sounds very shady to me. I would tell your friend to take her child out of that daycare.

It sounds like they've been in trouble before and this is their way of covering their asses.
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Old 03-09-2004, 01:54 PM
MSSTCY1 MSSTCY1 is offline
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Thats definetly strange. I really don't know how I would take that though. I think that you should tell your friend to ask some of the other parents about it. Maybe they could give her some more insight.
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Old 03-09-2004, 02:09 PM
aabby757 aabby757 is offline
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I would absolutely most definitely take my child out of this daycare center. I would NEVER bring my child back.

It almost sounds like they are trying to be funny but this is not funny and I would be angry for them being so stupid much less thinking this is acceptable.
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  #5  
Old 03-09-2004, 02:24 PM
jh124 jh124 is offline
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Quote:
It almost sounds like they are trying to be funny but this is not funny and I would be angry for them being so stupid much less thinking this is acceptable.
I agree. How did she find this daycare? Was it recomended by other moms? Did she make sure it was state licensed and certified by a national organization?
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Old 03-09-2004, 03:21 PM
FeeFee FeeFee is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by aabby757
It almost sounds like they are trying to be funny but this is not funny and I would be angry for them being so stupid much less thinking this is acceptable.
That's what I also think, but it was done in poor taste. Your friend should do a further investigation and also look into other day care centers in her area.
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Old 03-09-2004, 05:36 PM
Tippiechick Tippiechick is offline
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Ummmm. No! I have worked in a daycare owned by my mother and have worked in other daycare centers... NEVER have I heard anything so offensive.

You should have her call the Department of Human Services. (I know in TN they handle this type of stuff...) They usually license centers. They do inspections and have records of any investigations, complaints, violations, etc.

I would definitely yank my son out of there... Not only is it one of the most unprofessional statements ever made by a so-called child care professional, it is also one of the most questionable. Why do they think it necessary to include that? Have there been other problems they are trying to cover up? Questions abound...
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Old 03-09-2004, 11:20 PM
DigitalAngel126 DigitalAngel126 is offline
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Just got home from work. I asked about 24 people at work what they thought (it's been bugging me) and only 3 of them said they thought it might be a joke or something along the lines of 'kids embellish a lot, so don't listen to them'. One of these ladies was a counselour and teacher for many years and I didn't even finish the sentence, she finished it for me - - she said it's a major joke in the teaching world because of such tall tales told by children (of all ages).

As for the reputation of the place, I've only heard good things about it. I personally don't know if she's liscensed or certified or any of that stuff but I do know she's been around for quite some time. It's pretty known around town, I'm pretty sure she heard of it by word of mouth. She and I also know the owner's son.

I would assume that my friend had the sense to go early this morning and sit down and talk to the lady about stuff like she said she would, but she's an UNGODLY kind of lazy so Lord knows if she actually went. If she didn't, I'll be very dissappointed in her. That kid is like a son to me, I have half a mind to go in there myself if she doesn't/hasn't.

My thought on it being a joke is this: IF it is a joke, 1) It was VERY unprofessional, 2) It was NOT funny, 3) Very poor taste, and 4) I'm not sure I'd want to take my child to someone that would even think that is funny!


Another oddity: I was reading her page on discipline. Most of it is normal stuff such as talking out situations, talking about feelings, time outs, time in the corner, etc. Suspect line in that page also said something along the lines of reserving the right to use "gentle restraints". This could very well mean something as simple as a car-seat with a buckle, but she didn't feel the need to elaborate so who knows. As far as knowing of state laws and the severity of some restraints b/c of my job, I would NOT be cool with someone 'restraining' my child, no matter how 'gentle'.

Last edited by DigitalAngel126; 03-09-2004 at 11:24 PM.
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  #9  
Old 03-09-2004, 11:41 PM
winnieb winnieb is offline
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Most people with kids would totally understand that statement. Yes kids embellish stories ALOT!
I have heard that statement made at our daycare alot. Kids will say things totally out of context or retell a story thru the eyes of a child. Things are said that said reasonable to them that makes no sense to anyone else.
It is a common, and meant to be funny, expression that you only believe part of what a child says. An example of this my husband was using the electric screwdriver and (without the tip) used it on my son's arm, just to make it tickle. It scratched his skin--nothing major, my son was not bothered by it one bit. The next day at daycare my son told his teacher "my dad screwed me to the bone last night and made me bleed". Yes this required an explanation--but kids just say things wrong.
As a parent you will know when your kids embellish and when they are truly questionable. I promise you the quote was intended to be funny--and with kids that are 5 and almost 3-- I can only hope people do believe only 1/3 of what my kids say!!


-wendi
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  #10  
Old 03-10-2004, 01:09 AM
KillarneyRose KillarneyRose is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by DigitalAngel126
My thought on it being a joke is this: IF it is a joke, 1) It was VERY unprofessional, 2) It was NOT funny, 3) Very poor taste, and 4) I'm not sure I'd want to take my child to someone that would even think that is funny!
I agree completely!


Quote:
Another oddity: I was reading her page on discipline. Most of it is normal stuff such as talking out situations, talking about feelings, time outs, time in the corner, etc. Suspect line in that page also said something along the lines of reserving the right to use "gentle restraints". This could very well mean something as simple as a car-seat with a buckle, but she didn't feel the need to elaborate so who knows. As far as knowing of state laws and the severity of some restraints b/c of my job, I would NOT be cool with someone 'restraining' my child, no matter how 'gentle'.
I don't care for that, either. I don't restrain my children, so I'm certainly wouldn't allow someone else to do so!
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  #11  
Old 03-10-2004, 06:48 AM
AGDee AGDee is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by alphagam-alum
Most people with kids would totally understand that statement. Yes kids embellish stories ALOT!
I have heard that statement made at our daycare alot. Kids will say things totally out of context or retell a story thru the eyes of a child. Things are said that said reasonable to them that makes no sense to anyone else.
It is a common, and meant to be funny, expression that you only believe part of what a child says. An example of this my husband was using the electric screwdriver and (without the tip) used it on my son's arm, just to make it tickle. It scratched his skin--nothing major, my son was not bothered by it one bit. The next day at daycare my son told his teacher "my dad screwed me to the bone last night and made me bleed". Yes this required an explanation--but kids just say things wrong.
As a parent you will know when your kids embellish and when they are truly questionable. I promise you the quote was intended to be funny--and with kids that are 5 and almost 3-- I can only hope people do believe only 1/3 of what my kids say!!


-wendi
Agreed. I have heard this a lot, as a joke as well, from various day care providers. In fact, I think it I read it in a book somewhere... perhaps the Nanny Diaries? I have no idea where I'd start to find out where it is a quote from, but I'm pretty sure it was in a movie or book.
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Old 03-10-2004, 09:13 AM
Lady Pi Phi Lady Pi Phi is offline
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I'm not a parent, but personally I don't care if this is a well known joke or not. It's in very poor taste.
I also don't think it's appropriate for a child care provider to be using "gentle restraints". Next thing you know she'll be adding the terms "light corporal punishment" to the contract and she'll end up beating your kids.
I still think it sounds shady and I personally wouldn't want someone this unprofessional looking after my children.
It's people like this that make me unbelievably greatful that my grandparents took care of me instead of me going to daycare.
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Old 03-10-2004, 10:59 AM
adduncan adduncan is offline
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Run, do not walk, to your nearest CPS, or whatever agency oversees daycare providers and check this person out. Even if their record is squeaky clean, this is a VERY bad sign.

I was in daycare as a child (from 5 to about 7-8) and because of my experiences, I will **never** put my children in a daycare situation, even if it meant living out of a cardboard box.

My mother made the mistake of telling my daycare provider (Carol Vanblargan (sp?) in case anyone knows her) that she should "treat her no differently than your own children."

Mom didn't realize that Carol beat her children. Not spank--beat. With belts, for any reason or none. And Mom was paying Carol for the privelege of having 5-year-old me do her housework. (One of my more memorable beatings was when I accidentally knocked over a small potted cactus when bringing a basket of laundry to the washer.)

The piece-de-resistance was the additional beatings from her 3 boys. I won't go into the sexual molestation episodes by her 12-year-old son that finally got me released from that hell hole.

The point of this little rant, is that if someone makes a shady statement like the one you read, there is something they're trying to hide, or make appear better than it is to you. State the obvious of how you expect your child to be cared for, be very specific, and don't mince words. I suffered because my parents only "believed 1/3 of what their child told them."\

Go with your gut - it's the one part of you that never lies.

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Old 03-10-2004, 04:21 PM
midwesterngirl midwesterngirl is offline
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Amy,Is this a large facility or a home care?Some times the licensing criteria are a bit different but not a whole lot. I know laws differ from state to state but I cannot imagine any state that says that it is okay to restrain a child in a state licensed facilty.Here in Kansas, putting the child in the corner is against regulation.We would get a written violation at the very least for that.They actually prefer that we just use redirection and time out only as a very last resort.

As for the other,I am sure it was meant to be funny,but it isn't.Not in the least.If a member of my staff told one of the parents that,they would be fired on the spot.
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Old 03-10-2004, 06:30 PM
AGDee AGDee is offline
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Ok, hypothetical situation here... (and I worked on child and adolescent inpatient psych units for many years so I have seen this type of behavior first hand).

Little Johnny Doe is 4 years old and is throwing a temper tantrum. He is throwing blocks all over the room. He has been redirected and told to take a time out, but he does not comply. There are 25 other kids in the room and he's throwing these blocks really hard. Then he starts biting himself. What do you do?

Or, two kids are locked in a fight and you have to get them separated. No amount of verbal redirection is working. What do you do?

Granted, this was a psychiatric hospital but we were trained in methods of restraint, approved by the mental health department because these methods would not injure the child (or the staff). They included approaching the child from behind, securing his arms, crossed in front of him, elbows locked so his arms wouldn't be injured and leaning back slightly to put him off balance. You would sometimes have to hold this child in this position until he calmed down while talking to them in a calm and reassuring voice (and neurologically, this position slows the Central Nervous System and helps them calm down). Sometimes, to protect the child, or other children, you have to gently restrain them.

They can't just let kids run wild and endanger themselves or others. The typical child would NEVER need this type of behavior managment, but I would think that legally, they need to point out that they have a right ( even an obligation?) to do this. If Johnny Doe beat the crap out of your child because the staff weren't allowed to put hands on him, you'd be pretty upset.

Dee

ETA: I still listen to everything my children tell me, and then continue to question them to find out the whole truth. Usually, with my son, I get "Well he hit me first". Then I ask "What were you doing to annoy him?", because he doesn't tell the whole story right away, ever. Part of it is knowing your own child. I know I can't take what he says at face value, but I also know how to get the whole story out of him. More than once he has come running to me to say "Daddy hit me" and I clarify "He spanked you? On the butt? With his hand?", he nods and I say "Why?" and he tells me what he did wrong. That's what I take to be the meaning of that statement.
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Last edited by AGDee; 03-10-2004 at 06:34 PM.
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