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  #1  
Old 07-18-2003, 01:05 PM
moe.ron moe.ron is offline
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Rejected Penthouse Forum Letters (funny adult content!)

Dear Forum,

I wanted to let you know about the sexiest woman I have ever met. I am now in my fifties and even though I met her thirty years ago the memory of her still haunts me. Before you dismiss this letter as outdated let me warn you that our sex was just as wild in the seventies as it is today.

I worked with Louise in a small office. The sexual revolution was in full swing then and Lou was always going braless. It used to drive me wild to see her great globes beneath the tight stretch material of her blouse. I used to imagine her breast where the two really fat elephants and her blouse was a circus tent that had collapsed. Damn if those fat elephants were trying to get out from under that blousy tent.

One time while masturbating I imagined that I was an elephant tamer and I was prodding and poking those elephants with my elephant tamer tool. I imagined that if I managed to free those fat elephants from that circus tent that I would give them a good hosing down. You know that elephants like to be washed down and Louise?s fat elephant breast would probably like it too.

One day we had a company outing at a park. Lou was wearing a pair of shorts and bikini top. Her stomach was flat. I remember it was really flat but not totally flat. In the 80?s I thought that the curve of my television screen was about as curved as Louise?s stomach. This was handy because I rented a lot of porn movies and whenever they zoomed in on the woman stomach I felt the curve of the screen and the stomach matched really well. It would get me very hot. I?ll never get one of those flat TV?s. I don?t care if the resolution is better.

Lou?s shorts were a little tight that day as well. She had a little camel toe going. I started to imagine that she had a whole circus going on. Finally I got enough courage and asked Lou out. It just happened that The Ringling Brother?s were in town. I succumbed to P.T. Barnum?s wild pitches and bought two tickets.

Lou and I started by going to the side-show. Back then they had real freeks. The bearded lady and the Siamese twins. It was great. I don?t think Lou liked it though. She did like the snake house. Once she even said ?Look at the size of that one?.

When the show started Lou commented on how she thought they should let the elephants free. When Lou saw the camels she remarked that their toes were really interesting. I told her that if she didn?t stop with the dirty talk I was going to take her out to my custom van and give her a spanking on the waterbed. She agreed that a romp in the van was a great idea.

In the back of my 1972 econoline van Louise disrobed quickly. I was amazed at her beauty. Her breast weren?t like fat elephants at all. The skin was much smoother than I imagined. It was like they were made from two half bowling balls but they were the consistency of jell-o. I massaged those jell-o semispherical bowling balls while Louise moaned like a broken vacuum cleaner.

Soon Louise removed her shorts. I couldn?t keep my eyes off of her pubic region. Louise was the first woman I had met that had neatly trimmed pubic hair. It was trimmed in sort of a rectangle. It looked like a farmer?s field looks from an airplane. I enjoyed slowly running my finger through it as if I were driving a miniature tractor, disking and planting the fields. I imagined that if she ever had got crabs someone could fly a miniature crop duster over the area and kill them off.

Louise couldn?t take my teasing any longer. ?Please? she said, ?I want you inside me?. I took of my pants and when I removed my underwear my erect penis bounced like a 8 foot length of molding when you remove it from rack at Home Depot. ?It is gorgeous? she said. I sort of felt that way too. I had often thought of my penis as an Italian Sausage. Well Louise was as hungry for that Sausage as a Super Bowl fan after a few beers.

I put my sausage into her warm creamy center and started to rock back and forth. Soon, we were rocking like the old folks waiting for a table at a cracker barrel. Eventually I could feel Lou?s vaginal walls tighten up like a lawn mower that is trying to mow some really long wet grass. She really drove me over the edge. It was one of the best orgasms I ever had.

I?ll never forget that vixen.

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  #2  
Old 07-18-2003, 01:10 PM
PiKA2001 PiKA2001 is offline
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AAAWWW! How sweet! It's nice to hear hear a good love story every now and then.
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  #3  
Old 07-18-2003, 01:20 PM
AGDPrincess70 AGDPrincess70 is offline
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Re: Rejected Penthouse Forum Letters (funny adult content!)

Quote of the day:


Quote:
Originally posted by Arya
I imagined that if she ever had got crabs someone could fly a miniature crop duster over the area and kill them off.
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  #4  
Old 07-19-2003, 12:19 AM
KillarneyRose KillarneyRose is offline
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Re: Rejected Penthouse Forum Letters (funny adult content!)

Quote:
Originally posted by Arya
I imagined that if she ever had got crabs someone could fly a miniature crop duster over the area and kill them off.

Soon, we were rocking like the old folks waiting for a table at a cracker barrel.

One of these days I will learn never to read an Arya post with a mouth full of iced tea {trying to mop up iced tea from keyboard and desk}
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