Top 10 things Men/Women would do if they woke up and had a vagina/penis for a day

Dionysus · #1 04-14-2003, 07:45 PM

FORWARD

Top 10 things Men would Do if they Woke up and had a Vagina for a Day:
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchinis and cucumbers
9. Squat over a hand mirror for an hour and a hlaf
8. See if they could finally do the splits
7. See if its truly possible to launch a Ping-Pong ball 20 feet
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes - BEFORE closing time
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping
first
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too
1. Finally fins that damned G-spot!

Top Ten Things a Woman would do if she had a Penis for a Day:
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America
9. Get a blow job
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at the urinal
6. Determine WHY you cant hit the bowl consistently
5. Find out what its like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm
4. Touch/shift yourself in public without thought as to how improper it might be
to others
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks
2. Understand the reason for the light refraction that occurs between a mans
eyes and a ruler situated next to his member
1. Repeat #9

Hootie · #2 04-14-2003, 08:00 PM

That's funny but I just have to say this much...If I woke up in my body but with a penis I'd have to freak out cuz that's just sick!

LeslieAGD · #3 04-14-2003, 08:05 PM

Funny Stuff

AlphaSigOU · #4 04-14-2003, 08:45 PM

For those who remember the National Lampoon, back in the days when it was a regular monthly magazine: (www.nationallampoon.com)

My Penis, by Karen Wheatley as told to John Hughes (yes, the same John Hughes of The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles):
http://www.nationallampoon.com/flash...pen/mypen.html (November 1978)

My Vagina, by Larry Taft as told to John Hughes
http://www.nationallampoon.com/flash.../myvagina1.asp (April 1979)

And for those who want to read the story which became National Lampoon's Animal House here it is: The Night of the Seven Fires by Chris Miller (he played 'Hardbar' in the film): http://www.nationallampoon.com/flash...house/ah1.html

SilverTurtle · #5 04-14-2003, 08:52 PM

So when I saw this thread I remembered running across a book called Dick for a Day a while back while browsing through a book store.

It was basically all these womens' stories of what they would do. Some were really gross but some were really funny.

The1calledTKE · #6 04-14-2003, 08:56 PM

With my luck if I had a vagina for a day it would be that time of the month. ewwww lol

James · #7 04-14-2003, 09:02 PM

That qualifies a a buzz kill.

Quote:

Originally posted by zntke711
With my luck if I had a vagina for a day it would be that time of the month. ewwww lol

xok85xo · #8 04-14-2003, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by zntke711
With my luck if I had a vagina for a day it would be that time of the month. ewwww lol

well, maybe you should have to experience it

personally, i really want to know what sex/orgasm feel like from a male perspective.

MoxieGrrl · #9 04-14-2003, 10:21 PM

I would just fling my penis around when it was soft. They are so funny looking then!

The1calledTKE · #10 04-14-2003, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xok85xo

personally, i really want to know what sex/orgasm feel like from a male perspective.

Yah i wonder what the female side is like. I wonder if it is better for you ladies.

Hootie · #11 04-14-2003, 10:54 PM

Ah come on guys...better for us? Not really comparable. But maybe you'd all finally understand what it was like to not be completely satisfied since like 39% of the female population doesn't orgasm through intercourse LOL

Munchkin03 · #12 04-14-2003, 10:57 PM

I'd pee standing up.

I thought that it was only 39% of the female population that could orgasm from penetration alone--not the other way around. We just covered it in my Gender Studies course on Female Sexuality--but maybe I'm wrong.

RUgreek · #13 04-14-2003, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by zntke711
Yah i wonder what the female side is like. I wonder if it is better for you ladies.

Apparently back in high school, my teachers for sex ed. explained it with a graph. Sadly, us guys have a sharp quick peak, and women have a slow increase to a constant lasting (5-? min.) peak sometimes of orgasms.

Having a vagina for a day? Eh, I'd just get as bunch of vibrators and let loose. If I had breasts, I probably wouldn't leave home for the day, lol.

The1calledTKE · #14 04-14-2003, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hootie
Ah come on guys...better for us? Not really comparable. But maybe you'd all finally understand what it was like to not be completely satisfied since like 39% of the female population doesn't orgasm through intercourse LOL

Well if i had a vagina I wouldn't have intercourse because I don't like dudes. lol It would be self stimilation I am sure.