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  #31  
Old 09-22-2018, 09:49 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Give it a try. The worst that can happen is they say " no" to joining right now. Don't tell them you were doing other things or that you have tried NPC recruitment- you don't want to give the impression that they are an afterthought. Tell them you just became aware of their recruitment procedure and wanted to let them know you would love to know more about them. Good luck.
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  #32  
Old 09-22-2018, 11:29 PM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sigmagirl2000 View Post
I see with a quick search that there's a chapter of Alpha Phi Omega, have you checked them out?
I'm channeling 33girl:

NO! APO is not a consolation prize for failed NPC or other recruitment.
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  #33  
Old 09-23-2018, 12:20 AM
Xidelt Xidelt is offline
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This thread makes me want to punch myself in the face. It has officially reached dumpster fire status. If you can't make a decision without a bunch of strangers on the interwebz telling you what to do, I am not surprised you were cut from FR. If you are so hung up on twill letters on a shirt, see if you qualify for an honors society or something.
  #34  
Old 09-23-2018, 12:36 AM
elizababe1 elizababe1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xidelt View Post
This thread makes me want to punch myself in the face. It has officially reached dumpster fire status. If you can't make a decision without a bunch of strangers on the interwebz telling you what to do, I am not surprised you were cut from FR. If you are so hung up on twill letters on a shirt, see if you qualify for an honors society or something.
I'm asking "strangers on the interwebz" because I would assume people on a forum dedicated entirely to talking about Greek life would know something about it. It hurts like hell. I've been released twice from FMR and once from COB. It's not exactly something I can just forget. And trust me, if I qualified for an honor society, I would do that. But thanks to awful, soul-crushing depression in freshman year, my GPA isn't the best. I wish people could look past that number.
  #35  
Old 09-23-2018, 12:56 AM
Xidelt Xidelt is offline
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Yes, this forum is about Greek life. And I'm sorry you were cut so many times. That hurts and I wish you didn't have that experience. But we are 3 pages in and you have yet to take any of the advice offered to you by many experienced alumnae. You also ask questions that are easily answered by seeking out the webpages of the orgs you are asking about. No matter how many times you post, the information, advice, and circumstances aren't going to change. No one is suddenly going to tell you what you want to hear or wish that you heard. Do you want friends or do you want letters on a t-shirt? Those two aren't magically linked. While you are pining for something you don't have, real friendships and opportunities for a great college experience are slipping away. College isn't forever. Don't squander it obsessing over what isn't. Embrace it and go with what is.
  #36  
Old 09-23-2018, 01:01 AM
elizababe1 elizababe1 is offline
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At the risk of sounding dense, what are good clubs to make friends? I've tried various organizations already but I don't really know how to get involved. I'm not at all popular and already an upperclassman so I worry I come across as the weird person when I show up somewhere new. Am I just panicking?
  #37  
Old 09-23-2018, 01:18 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elizababe1 View Post
My question is, I would think it would be pretty disrespectful to contact the recruitment leader on the last day of official recruitment and ask about potential recruitment in the future, despite not having gone to any of the chapter's pre-recruitment events. Am I correct to reach that conclusion?
Yes. You are. You never gave two shits about APO before people on this thread brought it up. This is probably the most self aware thing youíve done in this thread.

Everyone else: Iím going to be blunt and say EFFING STOP IT. Unless this is your APO (or GSS, or Beta Sigma Phi, or social/professional GLO) chapter and you are willing to vouch for the poster in question, donít recommend non-NPC or NIC Greek-lettered groups as a substitute. We deal with enough of this shit without Greek Chat pushing it.
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  #38  
Old 09-23-2018, 01:25 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elizababe1 View Post
At the risk of sounding dense, what are good clubs to make friends? I've tried various organizations already but I don't really know how to get involved. I'm not at all popular and already an upperclassman so I worry I come across as the weird person when I show up somewhere new. Am I just panicking?
Your school has a shit ton of organizations. A metric shit ton.

Have you joined the ones that actually interest YOU, the real you, regardless of whether they would (you think) help you in NPC rush?

I mean if you love (example) Harry Potter and you join the Hogwarts club you should already have something to talk with other members about. If youíre honestly having that much trouble connecting with other people, I would go to the school counseling office. This is a skill youíre going to need when you graduate and look for jobs, no matter what field youíre in.
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  #39  
Old 09-23-2018, 02:22 AM
TXDG TXDG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elizababe1 View Post
At the risk of sounding dense, what are good clubs to make friends? I've tried various organizations already but I don't really know how to get involved. I'm not at all popular and already an upperclassman so I worry I come across as the weird person when I show up somewhere new. Am I just panicking?
Iím jumping in late but I agree with the poster who recommended you go talk to the campus counseling services. If you are 20 or 21 and struggle to make friends, itís probably time to seek some outside help.

Honestly, college is the last time of your life when you can literally trip in any direction and make friends, whether itís in class, the dorms, an off campus apartment complex, intermural athletics, volunteer work, a house of worship, clubs, school spirit groups, etc. It only gets more difficult to make friends once youíre out in the real world starting your career so figure it out now. It sounds like for where you are maturity-wise, learning how to make friends and be social will pay off the rest of your life in a much bigger way than wearing sorority letters.
  #40  
Old 09-23-2018, 09:42 AM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elizababe1 View Post
At the risk of sounding dense, what are good clubs to make friends? I've tried various organizations already but I don't really know how to get involved. Am I just panicking?
What makes you think joining a club that has Greek letters, AKA a sorority,will be any different? It's still a club(the founders of Delta Gamma called it "our club of mutual helpfulness"). You will still have to "get involved." Nothing is handed to you on a silver platter. Your perception of sorority is very skewed. I'm still very close friends with a woman I met years ago thru the League of Women Voters. Find an org that is connected to something you care about (another poster already suggested that). The college counseling service is a great place to help you sort thru things and come to determinations on the other side - find your passions, help your social skills, calm your anxieties. Try it.

ETA: And that part about looking past your bad grades Freshman year...they can't. Grade requirements for most groups are set by their national organization. And they may also be voted on by the chapter. They can't overlook it. Sorry.
  #41  
Old 09-23-2018, 10:43 AM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elizababe1 View Post
At the risk of sounding dense, what are good clubs to make friends? I've tried various organizations already but I don't really know how to get involved. I'm not at all popular and already an upperclassman so I worry I come across as the weird person when I show up somewhere new. Am I just panicking?
I agree with the poster who suggested seeking student counseling because if you're struggling this much to make friends, you could use help. You will struggle mightily with a job search post-college if you're having this much trouble trying to join a campus organization.

Joining a campus group is similar to a job search - what do you like and what are you good at? Pursue your interests, whether it's arts, volunteering with specific populations, religious or political groups, student gov't, etc. College is chock full of groups, go look on your college website.

The question I quoted is why posters are becoming frustrated with you, you're asking things that only you know and things that should be apparent such as your question about how to get involved in a org. How? Show up to meetings, do whatever activities that org does, etc. I sincerely suggest you get help so you can enjoy your last year of college and, more importantly, be able to secure and hold a job.
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Last edited by NYCMS; 09-23-2018 at 12:25 PM.
  #42  
Old 09-23-2018, 12:20 PM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Spent a little time rereading all your posts (except for the ones that were deleted, but some of those were QFP'ed) and I wrote this to you back in March (bolding for emphasis here):

Quote:
Originally Posted by AZTheta View Post
Reminder: you went through FR, only met a few of the members in the chapters for a very brief time at the open house rounds. You didn't get past that first round, where you start to meet more members and engage in more in depth conversations. You may also be basing your opinion on what you've seen in your time on campus. That's human nature.

It's been written here before: the actives are skilled at making conversation and making everyone feel welcome, as well as making themselves desirable. It's a fact. So basing your opinion on "clicking" isn't particularly helpful, as you truly don't have enough on which to base any sort of opinion. Unless, of course, you've been spending a lot of time at any chapter as an invited guest, or have good friends who are already members (which, I gather, is not the case; you haven't mentioned any of those connections).

My greatest concern, after reading the multiple threads you've started, is that you're looking outward for what may be missing on the inside. One of my panhellenic sisters already addressed this in another thread. Instead of focusing on "what do they want and how can I make myself into that?" your energies would be better focused on yourself. There's nothing more attractive than a confident, happy person. I get the depression, you've referenced that several times. Sincerely hope you have that well in hand.

Good luck to you. I mean it!
Others also suggested that you get support. And here we are again, my Panhellenic sisters are all singing the same song to you. Last night I wrote a post (which I decided against posting as I thought it was way too harsh), which essentially said "you need professional help". I'm saying it this morning and I mean it in the most supportive, kindest way possible. I also recognize (from your posts) some social issues that may be interfering with your ability to relate to others.

A last word: sororities can magnify your strengths. They can also put your weaknesses under a microscope. It is very much like living in a small town in many ways. You could get those letters on a shirt, and that house, and find out that you are even more miserable than you are right now. Seriously. I couldn't say anything else better than NYCMS & Titchou & all the rest of my Panhell sisters have already written. Please take it to heart. Be gentle with yourself, and move in a new direction.
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  #43  
Old 09-23-2018, 03:12 PM
navane navane is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elizababe1 View Post
At the risk of sounding dense, what are good clubs to make friends? I've tried various organizations already but I don't really know how to get involved. I'm not at all popular and already an upperclassman so I worry I come across as the weird person when I show up somewhere new. Am I just panicking?
I agree with the others that you would greatly benefit from counseling. I say that in the kindest way. Truly.

Look again at what you asked. You asked, "what are good clubs to make friends?" Your perspective is off. It's not about what location you can go to in order to make friends. You should be able to make friends in any location/club. The school's poetry society doesn't have more "potential friends available" than the chess club. Does that make sense? You find like minded people by going out there, doing the activities you enjoy, and engaging with people. Instead of saying "how can I learn better skills for making friends?" (which would be an internal reflection) you are asking "where can I go to find some friends?" (responsibility is placed with an external factor). That's like saying, "There's nothing wrong with me! I just haven't joined the right club yet! Once I join the right club, everything will be ok and the friends will come flooding in!" You are not reflecting on YOUR own responsibility to make internal adjustment in this situation. You keep thinking that joining the right kind of club will fix what's wrong inside your heart and mind. AZTheta nailed it when she expressed this to you earlier this year.

So, I do think you would benefit from counseling. A counselor would be able to help you with your diagnosed mental health issues, but also with helping you change some of your perceptions.
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  #44  
Old 09-23-2018, 07:33 PM
*winter* *winter* is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TXDG View Post
Iím jumping in late but I agree with the poster who recommended you go talk to the campus counseling services. If you are 20 or 21 and struggle to make friends, itís probably time to seek some outside help.

Honestly, college is the last time of your life when you can literally trip in any direction and make friends, whether itís in class, the dorms, an off campus apartment complex, intermural athletics, volunteer work, a house of worship, clubs, school spirit groups, etc. It only gets more difficult to make friends once youíre out in the real world starting your career so figure it out now. It sounds like for where you are maturity-wise, learning how to make friends and be social will pay off the rest of your life in a much bigger way than wearing sorority letters.
Exactly. It should be easy to make friends in college, sinc epwopke are at their most social. If you can't figure it out here, you are going to be in real trouble once you graduate. Go to therapy and get some skills now, where you can try them out in an undergraduate setting.
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  #45  
Old 09-23-2018, 07:59 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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This is ridiculous. I'm closing this.
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Last edited by carnation; 09-23-2018 at 08:57 PM.
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