GreekChat.com Forums  

Go Back   GreekChat.com Forums > Recruitment > Sorority Recruitment

Sorority Recruitment Recruitment event and bid day ideas, membership retention, publicity, recruitment policies, etc.


Register Now for FREE!
Join GreekChat.com, The Fraternity & Sorority Greek Chat Network. To sign up for your FREE account INSTANTLY fill out the form below!

Username: Password: Confirm Password: E-Mail: Confirm E-Mail:
 
Image Verification
Please enter the six letters or digits that appear in the image opposite.

  I agree to forum rules 

» GC Stats
Members: 307,487
Threads: 114,731
Posts: 2,158,345
Welcome to our newest member, rpcdswilliams
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-07-2018, 12:16 AM
midwesterng!rl2 midwesterng!rl2 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Location: The Big 10
Posts: 15
Unhappy How to Tell if the Conversation Was Genuine or NOT????

How can you tell if a sorority sister was being genuine with you or not during recruitment? It seemed like most of the girls I talked to were genuinely interested in the conversations we were having during the rounds and I thought I had made some good connections until I got my list back the next day and was cut by those same houses?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-07-2018, 06:44 AM
Titchou Titchou is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Sweet Home Alabama
Posts: 3,990
Conversation is just one part of the process. I'm sure they were all genuinely interested in you...but all of them are genuinely interested in all the women they talk with. The whole point is to sell you one their group...and they succeeded. Other parts are recs, your resume, GPA, etc. That's you selling them! It's a total package consideration - and then they can only invite X number back.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-07-2018, 10:48 AM
andthen andthen is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: right side of the coast
Posts: 319
Also to add, I would take the conversation at face value. Unless the individual was clearly giving off body language that she wasn't paying attention, then there was something genuine. As mentioned members are trying to "sell" their group by telling you and others going through recruitment about their group, activities, etc.

This will likely be the first of many similar conversations like this you'll encounter through life. Try not to get too caught up in your mind trying to read tea leaves about this or that. Best of luck!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-07-2018, 12:05 PM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 214
The conversations could have been completely genuine as others have posted, but at the end of the day, sororities can only invite back so many girls and there are multiple factors involved that drive that.

I liken rush to a job interview - I've interviewed many people over the years at various jobs I've held. There were some I really liked - great personality, terrific resume, etc. I genuinely enjoyed getting to know them, but they weren't a match for the team, the department and/or the company culture. so we didn't hire them. It wasn't personal.

Likewise, sororities know which girls are a fit for their sisterhood. Like a job you don't get, it's not personal. So as andthen wrote, don't read too much into this - it will be the first of many situations like this and a future job interview is where it will also happen.
__________________
To the moon and back.

Last edited by NYCMS; 09-07-2018 at 03:02 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-07-2018, 04:00 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 17,894


It's like when I was interviewing graduate assistants. I am not going to be rude. That would be dumb. It's called doing my job and being a professional. Even if someone is not a match for the job, I still have to interview them and make them feel comfortable.

Same thing in sorority world. Suzie may not be a good fit for the chapter as far as grades or involvement or something. But you certainly are not going to be rude. She is still going to get the same experience, even though she is not going to be invited back.
__________________
"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi

Lakers Nation.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-08-2018, 06:03 PM
midwesterng!rl2 midwesterng!rl2 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Location: The Big 10
Posts: 15
Everything else matched up though, I have a very high GPA, was super involved in clubs/other organizations, have a good resume, and kept up with my appearance, and don't have a bad reputation. I was just super hurt to see I got cut when I felt so good about a house and thought I had made some strong connections.

It's like how can someone tell if you'd be a good asset to their house or "team" (since we previously compared rush to job interviews) from short conversations that only really hit surface level, like "what is your major?" and "what dorm are you living in this year?". Since most of my cuts happened after round 1.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 09-08-2018, 06:53 PM
PKT4LIFE PKT4LIFE is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwesterng!rl2 View Post
Everything else matched up though, I have a very high GPA, was super involved in clubs/other organizations, have a good resume, and kept up with my appearance, and don't have a bad reputation. I was just super hurt to see I got cut when I felt so good about a house and thought I had made some strong connections.

It's like how can someone tell if you'd be a good asset to their house or "team" (since we previously compared rush to job interviews) from short conversations that only really hit surface level, like "what is your major?" and "what dorm are you living in this year?". Since most of my cuts happened after round 1.
I have been in upper management for 20+ years. I have interviewed so many applicants for various jobs. I know the minute they walk in the room and within the first few minutes I can tell if the applicant is a good fit for the department/company. It is like a sixth sense and I am usually 99% accurate. I too had some horrific interviews and didn’t want to continue but managed to keep professional and complete the interview without showing signs of disinterest. All of the response posts are accurate. Think of it as meeting a guy, within the first few minutes of the conversation, you can tell whether or not you are interested or going to click with this guy. Don’t blame your self. We all have been rejected in life and rejection is a hard pill to swallow.
__________________
Phi Kappa Tau, Est 1906
"America's Fraternity"

Last edited by PKT4LIFE; 09-08-2018 at 07:01 PM. Reason: Add wording
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 09-08-2018, 06:58 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 33,590
This is your second time rushing after getting cut everywhere. Did you do any of the things people mentioned in your other thread, like:

Did you get recs?

Did you create a (clean) social media presence?

Most importantly, did you form friendships with any sorority members outside of formal rush parties?

When youíre a rerushing sophomore, resume and GPA simply arenít going to cut it. Itís hard to believe you want to be a part of Greek life if youíve had a year to get to know the women in it and havenít done so.
__________________
It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 09-08-2018, 07:00 PM
BraveMaroon BraveMaroon is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Music City, USA
Posts: 767
You are a sophomore going through for a second year, yes? That may account for some of it. Did you have a recommendation to each sorority?

Focusing on what didn't happen is a waste of energy. Focus on what your options are now. It's not necessarily that they weren't genuine connections, it's just numbers, timing, and a million things you can't control.
__________________
Live with Heart

Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 09-08-2018, 07:02 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 33,590
Iím not sure at this point if she means conversations that happened this year or last year.
__________________
It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 09-08-2018, 07:31 PM
phoenix16 phoenix16 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 55
I understand. I'm not saying this to be cliche, I really do. I was a sophomore with a 3.94, was in 4 organizations with leadership positions in 2 (athletic, religious, honors, and professional), I had a STEM major, and at the time was pre-med. I knew how to hold a conversation and looked put together. I had fantastic conversations at a variety of chapters, but found myself with 6 chapters out of a possible 16 after round 1. What happened? (You can read my full story on here if you'd like. I did get a bid.-http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ighlight=spicy)

After I went through recruitment as an active, I saw something that made my experience click. I would talk to PNMs and love them, but know they would be a better fit for another chapter. That isn't to say they couldn't fit in ours, but I thought they would be happier elsewhere. It gave me some perspective into what my conversations as a PNM were like. They were genuine conversations and they probably liked me, but saw me happier in a different chapter. And looking back, I ended up where I belonged. Did I go in wanting this chapter? No! But it worked out for the best after a lot of soul-searching and effort to get to know the women.

Sometimes cuts are for numbers and there were simply too many women that they loved and it had to be done. We will never know what went into that decision and we could run ourselves into the ground trying to think of what happened. It's not worth the pain.

Of course, I could have been dropped for superficial reasons. I could have been dropped because they thought I was too busy or too academic or whatever. If that were the case, though, I definitely would not want to be a part of their chapter and it is not anything to worry about now.

My advice would be to take a deep breath and focus on the chapters that DID invite you back. They wanted to get to know you better. They saw something in you that said "sister." Take the energy that you are putting into second guessing every word you said to the chapters who said no, and put it into the conversations with the chapters who said yes.
__________________
To Fill, To Find, To Know, To Love

To Bind, To Strive, To Aid
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 09-09-2018, 12:51 AM
ladybug12 ladybug12 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 486
Again, I wish there was a "LIKE" button option.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 09-09-2018, 08:33 AM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 214
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladybug12 View Post
Again, I wish there was a "LIKE" button option.
YES!
__________________
To the moon and back.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 09-10-2018, 12:52 AM
midwesterng!rl2 midwesterng!rl2 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Location: The Big 10
Posts: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
This is your second time rushing after getting cut everywhere. Did you do any of the things people mentioned in your other thread, like:

Did you get recs?

Did you create a (clean) social media presence?

Most importantly, did you form friendships with any sorority members outside of formal rush parties?

When youíre a rerushing sophomore, resume and GPA simply arenít going to cut it. Itís hard to believe you want to be a part of Greek life if youíve had a year to get to know the women in it and havenít done so.
I unfortunately did not know where to find any opportunities to meet Greek women The girls I would talk to in class were not in sororities and no one else I know has ever done Greek life.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 09-10-2018, 11:51 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 33,590
You were, to quote you, super involved in other multiple organizations, and there was not one single solitary sorority member in any of them?

There were never any sorority or fraternity philanthropies that involved the campus as a whole?

You were never in class with any sorority women?

I find these things hard to believe.

You have to put yourself out there, and it doesnít sound like you did at all. Iím not trying to be harsh or mean, but people advised you what to do and thatís all we can do for you.
__________________
It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Conversation :)! Sorority Recruitment 4 06-19-2011 07:06 PM
I would like genuine advice please RealoReal Sorority Recruitment 54 07-23-2009 06:33 PM
conversation maddie101 Sorority Recruitment 6 08-12-2008 10:17 AM
Genuine Interest - Genuine Question for Zetas (not about membership) curious.won Zeta Phi Beta 1 08-13-2007 12:28 PM
conversation ASingingActress Delta Gamma 4 07-16-2002 01:14 PM



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:37 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.