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Old 09-01-2017, 01:04 PM
QLB817 QLB817 is offline
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Mom Nerves

Two(ish) weeks away from my oldest daughter going through recruitment and I'm probably more anxious than she is. She will start getting freaked out a few hours before the first party though, so trying to work through my nerves first so I can appear to be calm and collected to her at that time.

So daughter is going to a school with a not so terribly competitive recruitment. My sorority doesn't have a chapter on her campus though, so I'm a little sad she can't be a legacy. I was pretty sure she would always end up at a school that didn't have one, so not a huge sad thing and she's got two younger sisters who are in HS for me to hope for down the road. There are 5 NPC groups on her campus and we should have recs for all, even though they aren't super necessary. (I'm fairly involved with my local alumnae group, so they've been great at helping me track down the ones we didn't have personal connections.)

Daughters grades are acceptable, not awesome, 3.2 HS and 3.0 dual enrollment college courses. She's average with HS activities. (Changed schools between sophomore and junior year to a very academically tough school, so less time for extras.) She can be a little shy, but if the person hits certain topics, she becomes chatty Cathy and her personality truly shines. Working on having her find ways to bring those topics into conversations that will likely happen at recruitment parties. And some of these topics are relatively unique (we have a very odd, but in a good way, family, she's lived several places, travelled some and has a less than common major.) Her freshman orientation leader was an active and she's met a handful of other actives the first few days of classes.

I'm trying to keep encouraging an open mind and waiting until actual recruitment to do much judgement, but that's getting tough for her. She's followed the Panhellenic social media accounts and between what she's seen of the various groups there and the girls she's met, she's got two groups that already have her interest higher than the others.

She's not completely got outfits decided, but she's got it narrowed down some for each night. I've discussed with her what to expect when it comes to making choices and ranking. I've also been really pushing the idea that she will likely end up in the group that fits her best, even if she doesn't think so at first. I even told her about my own recruitment where my two pref parties were with groups that I loved equally and I was so physically and emotionally exhausted that I honestly don't remember which I ranked 1 and which was 2 on my list, but I have always been happy with the outcome. My alumnae sisters who all really adore her and were probably more disappointed that she couldn't be a legacy than me, have been great and given her some fabulous advice. I've warned her that those 4 days are going to be some of the most stressful, yet awesome she's had. I think she's ready.

So after all that rambling, I guess I'm just posting to share the anxiety with a group that gets it. While I adore my daughter and think she'd be a great sister that any group would be glad to have, I do know her faults and I know that things sometimes just don't go as expected during recruitment. I know she's not a top PNM with a superior resume. She's average at best. I worry her nerves will get the best of her and conversation will falter and she will come across as snobby, not just shy. All the typical mom worries I guess.
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Old 09-01-2017, 01:45 PM
3DGator 3DGator is offline
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Sending you good wishes for a successful recruitment...hang in there!
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Old 09-01-2017, 03:33 PM
jolene jolene is offline
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Good luck to your daughter. I think I know where she's attending. Let us know where she winds up.
AΞΔ--Delta Xi
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Old 09-01-2017, 03:55 PM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Keep plugging away with the Panhellenic spirit that she needs to keep an open mind to all groups! Our fingers are crossed for her. Sounds like you are giving her excellent advice.
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Old 09-01-2017, 07:01 PM
DiWantstoTravel DiWantstoTravel is offline
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Best wishes! If her school is the one I'm thinking of it's a great (but relatively low-key) Greek system.
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Old 09-01-2017, 07:29 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Gosh Mom! So many of us have been in your shoes and it is an anxious time. We are here to support you. Best wishes that you daughter finds her people!
I live in Fantasyland and I have waterfront property.
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Old 09-02-2017, 07:25 AM
stef831 stef831 is offline
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Yes I concur with all the other ladies here!! Best of luck to her and just tell her to be herself. Wishing you and her the very best, please keep us posted.
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Old 09-04-2017, 11:00 PM
TLLK TLLK is offline
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Hang in there Mama! Best of luck to you and your daughter.
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Old 09-05-2017, 07:21 AM
QLB817 QLB817 is offline
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Thanks everyone. She's got the Panhellenic recruitment meeting and a Meet the Greeks event both this week.

She also did a little "undercover" observation of the groups while we walked around the tailgating events before the football game this weekend. She's been a big fan of the school's athletic teams for several years, so how well each group supports the teams is a big deal to her. That and she's not big on any groups that look like the girls become sloppy drunks while tailgating too. (Seems like they were mostly on best behavior, but a few of the girls might want to remember that they are not the only ones scouting prior to official recruitment.)
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Old 09-05-2017, 05:31 PM
naraht naraht is offline
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I'm just going to quickly say that you definitely have your head on straight and so does your daughter.
Because "undergrads, please abandon your national policies and make something up" will end well --KnightShadow
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