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  #1  
Old 08-16-2017, 10:07 PM
edwheezy edwheezy is offline
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Resigning from my Fraternity

Greetings. I would like some advice or opinions. So I have decided to look into transferring from one school to another. I have already pledged and been initiated into a fraternity at my current school, but if i transferred, I would really like to resign from my current fraternity and rush again if the NIC and headquarters allows me to. I have already been in touch with a fraternity at my potential new school because I am friends with plenty of guys in their chapter and have no problem rushing me. So what I'm wondering is if anyone knows how to approach this issue and how to contact the NIC about my possible resignation. The fraternity I pledged has honestly done nothing for me and I have not enjoyed being an initiated member one bit, so I really want out. Any thoughts/ideas?

Last edited by edwheezy; 08-17-2017 at 01:16 AM.
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  #2  
Old 08-16-2017, 10:43 PM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Originally Posted by edwheezy View Post
Greetings. I would like some advice or opinions. So I have decided to look into transferring from one school to another. I have already pledged and been initiated into a fraternity at my current school, but if i transferred, I would really like to resign from my current fraternity and rush again if the NIC and headquarters allows me to. I have already been in touch with a fraternity at my potential new school because I am friends with plenty of guys in their chapter and have no problem rushing me. So what I'm wondering is if anyone knows how to approach this issue and how to contact the NIC about my possible resignation. The fraternity I pledged has honestly done nothing for me and I have not enjoyed being an initiated member one bit, so I really want out. Any thoughts/ideas?
You don't contact the NIC about resignation. You contact your own fraternity HQ.

Be aware that just because a few of your friends at the other fraternity are encouraging you, there may be a fraternity rule that prohibits you from pledging the new organization that they are unaware of. There may also be other members who do not look so kindly on someone who reneged on his vow to the first organization.
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Old 08-16-2017, 11:07 PM
edwheezy edwheezy is offline
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Ok I did not know that. Does the NIC not get involved though? And my friends are not the deciding factor. I joined a group of guys I cannot seem to connect with at all. The fraternity I am in currently has no intentions of improving not only as a fraternity, but as individuals. It is an extremely divided group of guys and If I can find a way out I will. I just wanted to add that yes I have friends in the chapter, but that does not guarantee I will pledge. I completely understand that i will I will be going back on my word when I pledged but I am unhappy.
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Old 08-16-2017, 11:35 PM
Kevin Kevin is offline
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Suck it up. If you resign from one and join another, if the fraternity you're joining accepts you, they'll be violating the rules. If you lie to them, you will be joining on a lie. Every single NIC group I know of does not allow you to join even after you have resigned from another organization once you've been initiated. The chapter at your new school doesn't have to affiliate with you in all likelihood, so maybe go join the Key Club. Especially if the chapter at your school already knows you've been initiated, your plans of resigning from one fraternity to join another are likely to result in you having no fraternity whatsoever.

My advice is to get into contact with your chapter advisers. If you are unsatisfied with this group, the advisers are also damn sure unsatisfied. Work with your advisers to improve the chapter. Make the best of your not-so-ideal situation. Or join the Key Club. Up to you.
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Old 08-17-2017, 12:17 AM
edwheezy edwheezy is offline
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Suck it up. If you resign from one and join another, if the fraternity you're joining accepts you, they'll be violating the rules. If you lie to them, you will be joining on a lie. Every single NIC group I know of does not allow you to join even after you have resigned from another organization once you've been initiated. The chapter at your new school doesn't have to affiliate with you in all likelihood, so maybe go join the Key Club. Especially if the chapter at your school already knows you've been initiated, your plans of resigning from one fraternity to join another are likely to result in you having no fraternity whatsoever.

My advice is to get into contact with your chapter advisers. If you are unsatisfied with this group, the advisers are also damn sure unsatisfied. Work with your advisers to improve the chapter. Make the best of your not-so-ideal situation. Or join the Key Club. Up to you.
I'm not trying to go against what you said, but I am genuinely curious about how that would be a violation since the NIC rules state that if my resignation is granted, I'm allowed to join another organization. Because as I initially stated, I'm transferring schools, so sucking it up may not really be an option. Id either resign and possibly not have a fraternity as you said, or go inactive.
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Old 08-17-2017, 12:25 AM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Originally Posted by edwheezy View Post
Ok I did not know that. Does the NIC not get involved though? And my friends are not the deciding factor. I joined a group of guys I cannot seem to connect with at all. The fraternity I am in currently has no intentions of improving not only as a fraternity, but as individuals. It is an extremely divided group of guys and If I can find a way out I will. I just wanted to add that yes I have friends in the chapter, but that does not guarantee I will pledge. I completely understand that i will I will be going back on my word when I pledged but I am unhappy.
You are UNHAPPY? My dear, there are many, many, many things in life that will make you unhappy. Are commitments are meaningful and binding to you only when it makes you happy?

If you are lucky enough to find a good woman & get married, there will be lots of times that you will be unhappy with her. Too bad. You find a way to work through it.

Happiness is not guaranteed to you anywhere, anytime, by anyone.
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Old 08-17-2017, 12:28 AM
clemsongirl clemsongirl is offline
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Originally Posted by edwheezy View Post
I'm not trying to go against what you said, but I am genuinely curious about how that would be a violation since the NIC rules state that if my resignation is granted, I'm allowed to join another organization. Because as I initially stated, I'm transferring schools, so sucking it up may not really be an option. Id either resign and possibly not have a fraternity as you said, or go inactive.
The NIC doesn't control who does and doesn't get to join another organization. They're saying "look, if you get the resignation and another group will take you we won't stand in the way", but most fraternities have a organization rule that they will not take someone previously initiated into another chapter even if they resign their membership. You'll have to have your friends ask if their national headquarters allows that.

Is your current chapter at the new school? If not, and you transfer and retain your membership you can potentially, and this is a huge maybe so do not consider it a first option, ask your national org if there's any chance your organization could colonize there. That depends on a billion factors and may not happen, but resigning will guarantee you won't keep this group's membership and getting a new one is pretty unlikely.
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Old 08-17-2017, 12:34 AM
edwheezy edwheezy is offline
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absolutely. But am I supposed to continue to affiliate with a group of guys that I cannot find a connection with? To go back to your marriage metaphor, would you stay in a marriage if there is no bond between you and your partner?
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Old 08-17-2017, 12:36 AM
edwheezy edwheezy is offline
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Originally Posted by clemsongirl View Post
The NIC doesn't control who does and doesn't get to join another organization. They're saying "look, if you get the resignation and another group will take you we won't stand in the way", but most fraternities have a organization rule that they will not take someone previously initiated into another chapter even if they resign their membership. You'll have to have your friends ask if their national headquarters allows that.

Is your current chapter at the new school? If not, and you transfer and retain your membership you can potentially, and this is a huge maybe so do not consider it a first option, ask your national org if there's any chance your organization could colonize there. That depends on a billion factors and may not happen, but resigning will guarantee you won't keep this group's membership and getting a new one is pretty unlikely.
Ok. I will definitely look into that. And my current chapter is not at the new school. I know I run the risk of being denied membership, but if that is the case I would be inactive so would it not be worth a shot? Thanks for your advice!
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Old 08-17-2017, 12:45 AM
Kevin Kevin is offline
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Membership is for life. You get the boot for dual membership, it's over. If you join the new group and get found out, it's over.

Best to keep things above board.
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  #11  
Old 08-17-2017, 01:17 AM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Originally Posted by edwheezy View Post
absolutely. But am I supposed to continue to affiliate with a group of guys that I cannot find a connection with? To go back to your marriage metaphor, would you stay in a marriage if there is no bond between you and your partner?
That is a very personal and individual decision. For me... YES, I made a sacred vow & I take it damned seriously. You know, the whole "for better, for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health" thing? I meant it. It was not "as long as this makes me happy." My commitment to my sorority vows is very similar to me.
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Old 08-17-2017, 01:28 AM
edwheezy edwheezy is offline
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That is a very personal and individual decision. For me... YES, I made a sacred vow & I take it damned seriously. You know, the whole "for better, for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health" thing? I meant it. It was not "as long as this makes me happy." My commitment to my sorority vows is very similar to me.
I agree 100%. And I respect that you do, but I find this to be a very personal decision for me as well. I joined this fraternity with the idea that brotherhood would be prioritized, and that an unbreakable bond would be created. I have 0 sense of brotherhood right now and if that bond is not created now, how will it be created once we graduate? Like I said previously, I would be an inactive member if i transferred anyway, so if i am granted resignation, would it not be worth a shot to find brotherhood elsewhere if it does not violate any rules?
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Old 08-17-2017, 06:09 AM
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SWTXBelle SWTXBelle is offline
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[QUOTE=edwheezy;2438688
. . . so if i am granted resignation, would it not be worth a shot to find brotherhood elsewhere if it does not violate any rules?[/QUOTE]

As has been stated elsewhere, it probably DOES violate the rules of the individual fraternities. Finding brotherhood after graduation? Do you honestly think the hundreds of thousands of alumni in fraternity and sorority alumni groups don't find brother/sisterhood in those groups? It's a bit different, being as you have adult lives and come from all over, but in many ways it is just as fulfilling. IF, and it's a big IF, the fraternity you resign from AND the fraternity you wish to join have no problem with it, you could do it. IF NOT - and that is the more likely scenario - you cannot, without being a faithless fraud. There are undoubtedly many different organizations other than fraternities on your new campus where you can find supportive friends. I'd suggest you explore those options.
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Old 08-17-2017, 12:32 PM
clemsongirl clemsongirl is offline
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What I would do if I were you: transfer and maintain your membership, since it sounds like you were planning on transferring regardless. Then ask your friends in this chapter to investigate with their HQ if they could initiate someone who had previously been initiated elsewhere. If then can, and they're willing to give you a bid, then you can consider resigning your current membership.

You lose nothing by holding on to your current membership, but once you resign you've lost it forever and there's no guarantee you'll be able to join another fraternity.
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  #15  
Old 08-17-2017, 01:28 PM
edwheezy edwheezy is offline
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Originally Posted by clemsongirl View Post
What I would do if I were you: transfer and maintain your membership, since it sounds like you were planning on transferring regardless. Then ask your friends in this chapter to investigate with their HQ if they could initiate someone who had previously been initiated elsewhere. If then can, and they're willing to give you a bid, then you can consider resigning your current membership.

You lose nothing by holding on to your current membership, but once you resign you've lost it forever and there's no guarantee you'll be able to join another fraternity.
that sounds fair and reasonable. I will definitely take this course of action. Thanks for your help!
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