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  #1  
Old 05-24-2017, 06:11 AM
LightnAiry LightnAiry is offline
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Recruitment Anxiety

I am rushing as a sophomore this fall and I'm incredibly anxious. I have a tendency to think of the worst-case scenarios when it comes to situations like this and all that is filling my mind is that I will end up bidless and released from recruitment.

Even when I remind myself that I'm a pretty good candidate with friends in multiple sororities, I can't help but fear that it will all mean nothing in the end. I bought a new outfit for recruitment and the first thought that ran through my mind was that I might not even need it if I get dropped from every house before I get to that night. I'm freaking myself out.

Does anyone have experience with this and have suggestions for quelling this sorority catastrophic thinking?
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  #2  
Old 05-24-2017, 11:44 AM
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AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Originally Posted by LightnAiry View Post
I am rushing as a sophomore this fall and I'm incredibly anxious. I have a tendency to think of the worst-case scenarios when it comes to situations like this and all that is filling my mind is that I will end up bidless and released from recruitment.

Even when I remind myself that I'm a pretty good candidate with friends in multiple sororities, I can't help but fear that it will all mean nothing in the end. I bought a new outfit for recruitment and the first thought that ran through my mind was that I might not even need it if I get dropped from every house before I get to that night. I'm freaking myself out.

Does anyone have experience with this and have suggestions for quelling this sorority catastrophic thinking?
Actually, yes I do. Once upon a time, when God was a baby, I used to do that kind of crazy thinking about stuff. It was nuts. So here's my advice:

STOP.

I suspect the catastrophic thinking isn't restricted to sorority recruitment, as you referenced in your first paragraph; it would be beneficial to get some counseling and change this behavior. It's possible to do so. And it will make your life a lot easier and more enjoyable. I speak from first-hand experience.

Now, for the love of Mike, stop obsessing. NOW. Go out and do things for other people. It really does get your mind off yourself and your perceived problems when you are helping others. That is a fact, Jack.

I wish you the very best of luck and I hope you actually figure this out and enjoy recruitment!
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  #3  
Old 05-24-2017, 12:06 PM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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How about this.... consider that you could possibly not receive a bid. There is that chance. But you know what? IF that happens... LIFE WILL GO ON! And you can find a million other things to get involved in. I love my sorority, but it is not the singular focus of my life. Obsessing over a sorority will only make you appear desperate and clingy. As AZTheta said, CALM DOWN. RELAX. Focus on what you have to offer and show off what YOU can do for THEM. Best of luck.
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  #4  
Old 05-24-2017, 12:17 PM
Legally_blond Legally_blond is offline
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Hey Girl!
I can offer you no advice on recruitment because I'm not in a sorority (yet, hopefully), but I'm he same boat as you rushing as a sophomore and I just wanted to say good luck and I hope it works out!
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  #5  
Old 05-24-2017, 12:22 PM
LightnAiry LightnAiry is offline
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Thank you, I genuinely appreciate both of ya'll's feedback. And you're right AZTheta, I get like this about more than just recruitment. And I do know that there are other opportunities and activities to get involved in, thetalady, its just a combination of excitement and nerves is all.
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  #6  
Old 05-24-2017, 12:22 PM
LightnAiry LightnAiry is offline
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And good luck to you too Legally_blond! (Love the name btw)
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  #7  
Old 05-24-2017, 12:44 PM
Legally_blond Legally_blond is offline
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Thank you! (And thanks haha I think it suits me)
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  #8  
Old 05-24-2017, 01:36 PM
PhilTau PhilTau is offline
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Catastrophic thinking -- you are fortunate that you can recognize it. Very insightful. The above comments are very good advice. Keep in mind:

1) Do you get anxious when you shop? You probably don't. But remember, depending on your school, joining a sorority can range from being not cheap to being very, very expensive. The sororities are trying to sell themselves to you and you are trying to sell yourself to them. There are only so many people that can afford the cost to join and maintain active membership. And no sorority gets every PNM they want - you and they will get rejected by someone. A fact that no amount of worrying can change.

2) While an undergrad, I noticed many differences among the sororities on my campus. One year later, I attended grad school at a different university and noticed very few differences among the sororities on my new campus. Not saying all sororities are the same, but they are more similar than different. Think of them like buying a new car - they may seem different. Some may be more stylish and flashy but, in reality, any will get you where you want to go.

3) Having friends in multiple sororities to vouch for you gives you great advantage. As in life (and you will learn this when looking for employment), now is the time to call in all favors with your friends. If you are interested in joining a sorority where your friends are members - be sure to tell them you are interested in joining. Contact them now. Take them out to lunch now. Don't make it a secret that you are interested in joining. Remember that you can be interested in other sororities besides the ones that your friends belong to -- keep your options open. (see 4 below)

4) Go to the sorority recruitment section in Greek Chat and read every post (at least in the sticky section). Collectively, they have written a unique book on how to successfully participate in sorority rush. Follow their advice and you will be more prepared. Having this knowledge should lessen the anxiety.

5) It's okay to be a bit nervous. Anyone would be, unless they are a sociopath.

Good luck.

Last edited by PhilTau; 05-25-2017 at 01:41 AM.
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  #9  
Old 05-25-2017, 06:18 AM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Have you ever taken yoga classes? I always have a very calming experience when I can make it to one. You might give yoga a try.

I have known plenty enough girls who rushed as sophomores at FSU, UF, and UCF that received bids. Was it to their first choice? I don't know. It probably was for some, but not for others, however, they all realized the opportunity they had been given(some of them, a second chance)and made the most of their memberships. In their freshman year they learned to go with the flow, and they came to understand what "look at your rush schedule with fresh eyes every day" means; i.e., find a new favorite among the choices you have for that day. Let go any feelings you had for the groups that are no longer on your schedule.
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  #10  
Old 05-25-2017, 07:13 AM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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3) Having friends in multiple sororities to vouch for you gives you great advantage. As in life (and you will learn this when looking for employment), now is the time to call in all favors with your friends. If you are interested in joining a sorority where your friends are members - be sure to tell them you are interested in joining. Contact them now. Take them out to lunch now. Don't make it a secret that you are interested in joining. Remember that you can be interested in other sororities besides the ones that your friends belong to -- keep your options open. (see 4 below)
Good advice. However, be careful with this one. You don't want to come off as desperate, and you don't want to sound like you're asking for a bid. A favor doesn't = "You can get me in, right?"

Just say you're interested, and ask them general questions about recruitment (e.g. "The dress for Round 2 is listed as 'smart casual'. What do you think would be appropriate to wear?"). They'll know that you're serious about joining. But no questions about how they decide who gets a bid!

And again, don't come off like you're looking for them to promise you one. This puts your friends in a very awkward situation. And on the flip side of things, when recruitment is over, never ask them why you didn't get a bid to their chapter. They can't tell you, as membership selection is private. You don't want to force them to lie to you. But honestly, they may not even know why.

Just be casual about the whole thing and don't expect anything from them. They have influence in their chapter, but it only goes so far. There are other members of each sorority who have a say, as well.
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  #11  
Old 05-25-2017, 11:48 AM
PhilTau PhilTau is offline
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Originally Posted by ASTalumna06 View Post
Good advice. However, be careful with this one. You don't want to come off as desperate, and you don't want to sound like you're asking for a bid. A favor doesn't = "You can get me in, right?"

Just say you're interested, and ask them general questions about recruitment (e.g. "The dress for Round 2 is listed as 'smart casual'. What do you think would be appropriate to wear?"). They'll know that you're serious about joining. But no questions about how they decide who gets a bid!

And again, don't come off like you're looking for them to promise you one. This puts your friends in a very awkward situation. And on the flip side of things, when recruitment is over, never ask them why you didn't get a bid to their chapter. They can't tell you, as membership selection is private. You don't want to force them to lie to you. But honestly, they may not even know why.

Just be casual about the whole thing and don't expect anything from them. They have influence in their chapter, but it only goes so far. There are other members of each sorority who have a say, as well.
Even better advice. Thanks for expanding on and explaining this.
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  #12  
Old 05-27-2017, 11:51 AM
LightnAiry LightnAiry is offline
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It's for this exact reason that I'm only mentioning it to the girls that I was very close with during the last year. While I'm on good terms with the other girls it would seem odd of me to mention it to them.

And in other news I've found a great way to distract myself from Recruitment. I'm just excited because all the sororities seem to have great sisterhoods, I would be proud to call any of them home. Besides even if it's not for me, I will have hopefully made friends from the process. (I'm thinking positively now and it's quite refreshing).
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  #13  
Old 05-28-2017, 07:19 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Originally Posted by ASTalumna06 View Post
Good advice. However, be careful with this one. You don't want to come off as desperate, and you don't want to sound like you're asking for a bid. A favor doesn't = "You can get me in, right?"

Just say you're interested, and ask them general questions about recruitment (e.g. "The dress for Round 2 is listed as 'smart casual'. What do you think would be appropriate to wear?"). They'll know that you're serious about joining. But no questions about how they decide who gets a bid!

And again, don't come off like you're looking for them to promise you one. This puts your friends in a very awkward situation. And on the flip side of things, when recruitment is over, never ask them why you didn't get a bid to their chapter. They can't tell you, as membership selection is private. You don't want to force them to lie to you. But honestly, they may not even know why.

Just be casual about the whole thing and don't expect anything from them. They have influence in their chapter, but it only goes so far. There are other members of each sorority who have a say, as well.
Yes!

I've seen this really backfire on girls because her friends (especially those who are in the same chapter and talk all the time) will start to be like "Why is she so pressed?"

Or they'll start to feel like the only reason you're even talking to them is to try to get an "in" with recruitment.
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  #14  
Old 05-30-2017, 01:55 PM
PhilTau PhilTau is offline
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Okay - when I said "now is the time to call in all favors with your friends" above I meant it metaphorically not literally. Of course knowing how to tactfully assert influence is an important leadership skill that may be present innately or learned. I do suspect that the word, friend, is being tossed around casually and many friends are really just casual acquaintances. But I maintain that true, long-time friends can and should be counted upon to help at a time when that help is really needed. Nevertheless, depending on the nuances of a given situation, all the above advice is pertinent.

Last edited by PhilTau; 05-30-2017 at 04:02 PM. Reason: transposition error
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