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  #16  
Old 06-03-2016, 09:44 AM
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Jill1228 Jill1228 is offline
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Sorority women DO have friends in other orbs and they do talk. When you go through again and visit said group in the first round, wear a heavy coat. The reception you will get might be a little COLD...
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  #17  
Old 06-03-2016, 01:24 PM
andthen andthen is offline
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OP, I am pretty familiar with your campus and yes its not overly competitive. But people do talk, and yes the other groups on campus will probably know you dropped out before initiation. That's just the way it goes.

You've gotten some very sound advice, and granted there are no absolutes as to whether or not you'll get another opportunity. Believe me if we here on greekchat could predict outcomes we'd be pretty wealthy.

I just want to add that before you make up your mind with trying formal recruitment that you really sit down and evaluate what didn't work during informal. What are things that you need to change about yourself (i.e. level of expectation), and what are things that you are wanting to get out of being in a sorority and can the sorority meet your expectations?

Be prepared to be cut by some groups, this is just the process of formal recruitment, certainly your prior history might come back to bite you in the butt.

As others have mentioned it can take time to cultivate relationships in any type of group. Also not everyone has the idealistic relationship with their big sister either, the key is how you handle these things. Do you cut and run or work to find another alternative solution to try and make things work.
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  #18  
Old 06-03-2016, 02:20 PM
KDCat KDCat is offline
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Originally Posted by mgandil View Post
Are they really going to care that much? I was never initiated into the other sorority. And it isnt as competitive at my school for sophomores, they give freshmen and sophomores the same priority.

Is it worth it to rush? I do not want to rush and get dropped by every sorority the first night.
I am going to be very blunt. They might. If a NM drops, there is a likelihood that she will drop again. Problems getting along in a group aren't always the group's fault. There is no guarantee that you won't have the same experience with a different group and end up dropping again because you can't work it out.

You need to be ready for hard cuts and keep an open mind about any invitations that you receive.
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  #19  
Old 06-03-2016, 04:39 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Lol, while it's not the deep South, GMU is most assuredly not "up north."
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  #20  
Old 06-03-2016, 04:57 PM
mgandil mgandil is offline
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Thank you all for the advice! I know the first question they ask during the first night is "So what made you want to rush?" since everyone is saying they will know about my old sorority, will it be a bad idea to say that I was in a sorority before and it did not work out or should I completely not mention it? Because I'm wondering if the girl asking me questions will know and if she does if she will appreciate the honesty. Also, is there a way I can just not go to the house that I was once a part of?
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  #21  
Old 06-03-2016, 05:04 PM
mgandil mgandil is offline
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And I got along with my old sorority just fine, I just wasn't bonding with the girls and making any friends. It was my big I was not getting along with. I realized before initiation that I did not want to pay all those dues for something I was not enjoying and getting anything out of.
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  #22  
Old 06-03-2016, 05:13 PM
KDCat KDCat is offline
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Don't say that. It sounds terrible.

You need to take the decision to withdraw only on yourself. You need to say "They were great. I was immature and wasn't ready to make a commitment yet. I really regret not being ready and I think I learned a lot about myself and I am ready to make that commitment now."

And you need to think long and hard about whether you really want to do this. Being a sister to other women means that you make a commitment to be a sister even when it's not fun and when you're not getting along. It's not just about parties and cute sweatshirts. It takes an adjustment period to make those lifelong friendships. It won't be different in a new sorority. You aren't going to be bonded to the group at first. You are not going along with every single other sister, and the person you don't get along with might end up being your big. You might not find your BFF in your sorority until you've been there for a year or more. If you don't think it's worth the money if you have to wait, then maybe it's not for you. (And that's okay. It's not for everyone.)
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  #23  
Old 06-03-2016, 05:17 PM
mgandil mgandil is offline
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I'm definetely going to say what you just wrote. You're right, I am going to blame myself and say I was not ready to take on that commitment. Should I wait until they ask about my old sorority though or bring it up myself?
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  #24  
Old 06-03-2016, 05:18 PM
mgandil mgandil is offline
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Is it a bad idea to say that my old sorority was not home for me and I did not bond with the girls or should I completely leave that out and blame it on myself?
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  #25  
Old 06-03-2016, 05:56 PM
SimplyMe SimplyMe is offline
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Originally Posted by mgandil View Post
I'm definetely going to say what you just wrote. You're right, I am going to blame myself and say I was not ready to take on that commitment. Should I wait until they ask about my old sorority though or bring it up myself?
If she does know you were in another chapter, she shouldn't be bringing that up. The point of recruitment is to get to know you, not to bring up old dirt. Honestly the only reason you should be talking about being in another chapter is if you bring it up.
I know you're worried about this, but honestly the best way to approach this is to put it behind you and put your best foot forward. Let your recruiter fall in love with you and the rest won't matter.
I know girls who dropped and went through again and got the same chapter. I also know girls who dropped and got a totally different chapter you never thought they'd join. The point is you never know how this is going to end up. Keep and open mind and just be you.
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  #26  
Old 06-03-2016, 05:59 PM
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DGTess DGTess is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mgandil View Post
I'm definetely going to say what you just wrote. You're right, I am going to blame myself and say I was not ready to take on that commitment. Should I wait until they ask about my old sorority though or bring it up myself?
Only say it if it's true.

Do you know what went wrong?
Are you ready to make a mature commitment?

If not, it's a pat answer that will be seen through. In my opinion, that's worse.
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  #27  
Old 06-03-2016, 06:10 PM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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Do not mention it! NO! IF you are asked, I've given you the answer. You felt you needed to get a broader look at all groups thru formal recruitment.

And yes,you'll have to go to the house during first round and maybe even if they invite you back. To refuse to attend an event you are scheduled for will cause you to be released from recruitment totally. Be a lady. Act like an adult and rise above this. Smile. Be polite.
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  #28  
Old 06-03-2016, 06:33 PM
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AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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OP, please go back and read all the responses you've gotten. And internalize the advice you've been given.
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  #29  
Old 06-03-2016, 06:41 PM
mgandil mgandil is offline
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So if my recruiter does not bring up my old sorority, I will not bring them up. Lets say my recruiter really likes me. Will she overlook my old dirt or will she automatically make sure I'm dropped? I'm scared that I will go into fall recruitment not even being given a chance because of my old dirt and I want to be able to prove myself.
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  #30  
Old 06-03-2016, 06:44 PM
mgandil mgandil is offline
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Thank you guys all so much for this great advice!! I am reading and listening to everything I'm being told!
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