When a legacy gets cut, does Mom get a call from her sorority?

[nolefan]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

And we know there are PNM's who tell mom they were released rather than tell mom they didn't want to join her chapter.

Thank you for sharing this side of things, it is something I hadn't considered. I can imagine that there are some families where this might just be the easiest course of action for the PNM. Sadly.

[AlphaXi_Husky]

Originally Posted by 33girl

The other side of the coin is that some groups believe the woman is a young adult, and so calling someone else to tell them about her recruitment is an invasion of her privacy.

This is where I land with things.


As part of the recruitment team, I'm thankful I do not have to make those calls anymore.


It was particularly painful when parties end late and you're having to call very late at night. Inconvenient (to say the least) for both sides.

[KD4Me]

Not to suggest that the way one organization chooses to do it is wrong, but I favor letting the PNM be the one to share the information that she was released, if she chooses to do so. Some girls are embarrassed that they were released, and I think it should be their prerogative to share however much or little they want with their family members.

[tcsparky]

Since at 18 these women are technically adults, I feel that it is their business, and that they should be the ones who let family members know how their Recruitment experience turned out. They can frame it in the way they are most comfortable, and share the news in their own time.

[Titchou]

Y'all are missing the point of notifying the legacy connection. It's so SHE can let the PNM know she's been released by the group because it's felt it would be better coming from her than finding out when handed a list of invites just before parties start. The legacy connection would know - hopefully -better how to broach the subject with her and give the PNM time to come to terms with it. Not to mention it's courtesy to the member who is, after all, our sister. The calls aren't fun for sure but it's the right thing to do.

[BraveMaroon]

Originally Posted by Titchou

Y'all are missing the point of notifying the legacy connection. It's so SHE can let the PNM know she's been released by the group because it's felt it would be better coming from her than finding out when handed a list of invites just before parties start.

I agree with this. My roommate was a megaleg at a sorority that cut her the night before prefs (ouch). Her mother lit up the phone to our room that night, but unfortunately, roomie was out with friends at a bar and didn't get the news from Mom til about an hour before the pref invitations went out.

She ended up dropping after she got her list - she had two sororities left, either would have been a good fit for her, but her favorite (other than legacy) had dropped her and she was done.

I got dropped by my bio sis' sorority after round two, and I believe they called her. But she was working on rush at her own school and didn't have time to "let me down gently". I was neither surprised nor hurt when I got dropped. I was devastated to have been cut from a house where I knew a bunch of girls from HS who had graduated with my sister.

But obviously, I got over it - my top choice kept me til the very end and we all lived happily ever after.

Except my roommate and her mother. But whatev.

[tcsparky]

Originally Posted by Titchou

Y'all are missing the point of notifying the legacy connection. It's so SHE can let the PNM know she's been released by the group because it's felt it would be better coming from her than finding out when handed a list of invites just before parties start. The legacy connection would know - hopefully -better how to broach the subject with her and give the PNM time to come to terms with it. Not to mention it's courtesy to the member who is, after all, our sister. The calls aren't fun for sure but it's the right thing to do.

I'm not missing the point of notifying the legacy connection. I'm just thinking about the privacy concerns of the PNM. While she may be a legacy through Aunt Myrtle, she may not necessarily want her business put out there. She entered into a contract (registered for Recruitment), and how that contract plays out is her own business, not that of family members. I feel that her privacy issues (who invited her back or who didn't) are more important in this case.

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by tcsparky

I'm not missing the point of notifying the legacy connection. I'm just thinking about the privacy concerns of the PNM. While she may be a legacy through Aunt Myrtle, she may not necessarily want her business put out there. She entered into a contract (registered for Recruitment), and how that contract plays out is her own business, not that of family members. I feel that her privacy issues (who invited her back or who didn't) are more important in this case.

There's two sides to recruitment and mutual selection -the PNM side and the sorority side. If Aunt Myrtle turned in a legacy form for Patty PNM then the outcome of membership selection is Myrtle's business, as a sister.