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  #1  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:03 PM
Alexa62 Alexa62 is offline
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How to drop my sorority

I am a junior in college, and I have been in my sorority for a year. Over the spring, I studied abroad (so I was inactive). I love my sorority and everyone in it. I have thought about it a while, and I think that its not for me. I think I want to focus more on spending time with christians and not with people who party and drink and stuff. My chapter never pressures people to do that stuff, but I am trying not to turn into that. How to I drop out? I wrote a letter, and was going to put it into the presidents mailbox with my membership card and badge. What else should I do? Thanks
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  #2  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:11 PM
jolene jolene is offline
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I'm a devout Christian and I bet there are sisters who feel strongly about faith as you. Connect to them. Don't throw away your sisterhood. Are you in a big or small chapter?
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  #3  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:20 PM
navane navane is offline
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One thing that stuck out to me was that you said that your chapter doesn't pressure members to party, but that you still have concerns about "turning into that". How you respond to the "temptations" is up to you and it sounds like no one is giving you any hassle.

Did you consider that perhaps you are not the only one in your chapter who feels that way? Maybe there are other girls who would prefer a night in watching movies and would be relieved that there's a sister like you to keep them company. Maybe there are other Christian girls who would be interested in attending the campus Bible study nights. Are there ways for you to stay and be a positive light and influence on others?

Before making such a harsh decision, it may be to your benefit to talk to your chapter adviser for advice. It may just be that you feel a little disconnected from the chapter having been away for a semester. Plus, the extra partying that goes on at the beginning of the school year will taper off as people settle into their classes and midterms.

If you still feel led to quit, just writing a letter and leaving your badge in the president's mailbox won't likely suffice. Your chapter will have to process you out through the international office (assuming you are in a national sorority). You will need to check with your individual chapter for specifics on your sorority's policies. That's another good reason to contact your chapter adviser.

I encourage you to think about this carefully prior to making a decision that you may not be able to take back.
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  #4  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:21 PM
Alexa62 Alexa62 is offline
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I am in a smaller/medium sized chapter. We have around 100 girls. I guess I should explain more. I used to help out at my church/go to studies/etc multiple times a week. Especially after having meetings and events EVERY sunday, I havent been able to do any of that. It is especially hard with all of the studying I have to do with classes. My reasoning isnt really "I am a christian, so I cant be in a sorority". I guess that I am a follower, and I dont want to morph into the wrong people becuase I am always at the sorority. I have even found myself doing things I would never do, just because the sorority was doing it. Obviously, it is my fault, and not the chapters at all.
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  #5  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:23 PM
GinaBaroness GinaBaroness is offline
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I agree! Don't throw it away if you can help it.

When I was in college I had financial (and other) reasons and I deactivated from Phi Mu. I regretted it ever since the day I did it and I always wished I could make it work. Fortunately Phi Mu allows you to come back if you follow a process and the national exec board votes on it, so I was able to reinstate this year, finally...about 10 years later. Better late than never! But I do know many other orgs don't allow that and if you quit...you are done. Forever.

Don't do anything you will regret. In my case a decade passed full of wishing I hadn't done it. Now that I am back I feel whole again. Best of luck to you with your decision.
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  #6  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:41 PM
navane navane is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexa62 View Post
I am in a smaller/medium sized chapter. We have around 100 girls. I guess I should explain more. I used to help out at my church/go to studies/etc multiple times a week. Especially after having meetings and events EVERY sunday, I havent been able to do any of that. It is especially hard with all of the studying I have to do with classes. My reasoning isnt really "I am a christian, so I cant be in a sorority". I guess that I am a follower, and I dont want to morph into the wrong people becuase I am always at the sorority. I have even found myself doing things I would never do, just because the sorority was doing it. Obviously, it is my fault, and not the chapters at all.

Are your chapter meetings and events on Sundays? Sunday morning? Sunday night? Is there a way to attend a morning service vs. evening service or maybe even a midweek service? I'm not saying "Put God second to the sorority"; but, sometimes you have to maneuver a bit to make things work.

I'm a Fire Captain. The fire department operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Sometimes I work on Sundays. In fact, at my previous fire department, we had mandatory training drills every other Sunday morning from 9am-12pm (!!!). I had to figure it out. One of the firefighters who worked most Sundays would put on a live internet feed from his church so that he could still "attend" the service. Even though I had to miss many services, I rest knowing that the Lord still loves me no matter which day of the week I worship. He doesn't have a specific lock on Sundays. You can praise him on a Wednesday or Thursday too.

Yes, studying for your classes is very important and it can be hard work and time consuming; but, effective time management is what will pull you through. You have to learn to balance church, study, work and sorority now and later in your life it will be church, spouse, kids, work, inlaws, PTA, etc. Learning good time management now will serve you well in the many years to come.

The "I'm a follower" part was a very honest comment on your part. Kudos to you for being honest with yourself on that. Sometimes it's difficult to say no to something when all you really want is to fit in with everyone else. But, like I said in my previous post, are there other members like YOU who you could stand with and have more strength in numbers? There will always be times in our lives when we are faced with temptations and things we might not normally do. How we respond to them is what builds our character. I managed to make it through college without drinking and my friends *admired* me for my personal fortitude. So again, I ask you to consider what you could bring to the table. Is there an opportunity for a positive testimony here?
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  #7  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:48 PM
Alexa62 Alexa62 is offline
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Navane

Thats the thing- almost all sorority events are on sundays for our chapter.
Meetings- every sunday evening (so that rules out any 6 or 7 oclock service)
We dont have a ton on sunday mornings, but we have a lot. Multiple mandatory philanthropy events, bid day, family events, initiation, some ceremonies.

I do love it, but I really dont want to be in it any longer. I feel like I am not in any way satisfied from it, and I have noticed myslef becoming someone I dont really want to be.
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  #8  
Old 09-21-2015, 07:31 AM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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Schedule a meeting with your exec or standards board - whichever it is for your group. They probably meet on a regular schedule. They can help you navigate the process. Keep in mind you may be on the hook for dues, fees, etc until the process is complete. Just putting a note with y our badge and membership certificate in the president's mailbox is disrespectful to her and the chapter and your organization. Please don't do that.
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  #9  
Old 09-21-2015, 10:54 AM
rockwallgreek rockwallgreek is offline
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I truly wish/hope more members would realize that membership is more than just the 4 or so years in college. While those years hold great memories, my years as an alumna hold even more! As I moved around with my military husband, there was always an alum group to contact in my new home. I've been an advisor to a collegiate chapter, a Volunteer Service Team member , for a combined total of almost 20 years.

The OP specifically mentioned Bid Day and Initiation... Two days out of the year?? I really can't imagine giving my lifetime membership!!
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  #10  
Old 09-21-2015, 11:56 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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I'm not sure if you mean philanthropy events held by other groups or by your own, but either way, Sunday morning is a poor time to hold such things. Try speaking up about this and seeing if it can change, because I'm sure you aren't the only one who has a problem with it.

It sounds like you became disconnected from your chapter when you studied abroad and feel like you're not part of the group any more.

Have you talked to your big sister or anyone else in the chapter that you're close to? Did you think about how upset they would be if you just stuck a letter in the president's mailbox and quit? (Just to reiterate, don't do that) I would also think that a church on or near a college campus would be cognizant of students' responsibilities both curricular and extracurricular, and would want them to be well-rounded people rather than just doing classes, studying and church functions.
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  #11  
Old 09-22-2015, 03:20 PM
Tom Earp Tom Earp is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexa62 View Post
I am in a smaller/medium sized chapter. We have around 100 girls. I guess I should explain more. I used to help out at my church/go to studies/etc multiple times a week. Especially after having meetings and events EVERY sunday, I havent been able to do any of that. It is especially hard with all of the studying I have to do with classes. My reasoning isnt really "I am a christian, so I cant be in a sorority". I guess that I am a follower, and I dont want to morph into the wrong people becuase I am always at the sorority. I have even found myself doing things I would never do, just because the sorority was doing it. Obviously, it is my fault, and not the chapters at all.
As A member of a Fraternity we all run across the same things. Most Greeks are founded on Christian Principles!
Do not all Christians party? Did not Christ change water into wine?

As another poster said, being in a Sorority is not just 4/5 years, it can be a life time of being part of an organization that does so much good. Animal House was just a movie, not true life. Greeks do so much good, how can you turn that down as a good Christian?

I do not know how your mind works, but to leave could be a very big mistake on your part! But it is your call only!
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  #12  
Old 09-22-2015, 03:46 PM
NWguy NWguy is offline
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I attended Young Life on and off during college, which was always held during a weeknight, so it didn't conflict with chapter meetings. There were other Greek men who attended, too. But I actually enjoyed that it was a mix of students, because it allowed me to establish friendships with people who weren't in the Greek system at all.
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  #13  
Old 09-24-2015, 03:44 PM
OldCollegeWoman OldCollegeWoman is offline
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Maybe some of your sisters are sisters in the faith, too?

When I was in college the first time, my roommate was a devout Christian who was also initiated into an NPC sorority. She kept her ties with her Christian friends strong and still enjoyed her sisterhood without compromising her principles. Some of them were already believers who found their resolve strengthened by her lifestyle. Are there other believers on campus who are also Greek? Maybe you all could connect and keep each other encouraged and accountable; "iron sharpens iron" and all that.
Since this is such a permanent decision, please consider all options before letting go of something that could possible enrich your life for years to come. I hope you come to a decision that is healthy for your personal spiritual walk and also brings fulfillment in all other areas of your life. ~Blessings~
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  #14  
Old 09-24-2015, 06:01 PM
knight_shadow knight_shadow is offline
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Would you drop out of college because drinkers and partiers exist there?
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  #15  
Old 10-26-2015, 10:15 PM
gawilson48 gawilson48 is offline
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Just talk to your sorority about it I am sure that you all can compromise. I am also sure that their is someone that has went through the same thing that you have went through. All people are not given the opportunity as you have so use it wisely and just speak to your sorority members.
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