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  #1  
Old 09-11-2015, 02:16 AM
needadvice needadvice is offline
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I need advice - should I drop?

I recently went through recruitment. I truly enjoyed most of the process; since I know very few people at this school (as in, count them on one hand), I loved getting to meet new people and see what theyíre all about. Skipping through all the parties, Iíll get to the end. I also want to emphasize the fact that every chapter here is wonderful, and that I hold great respect for the traditions and sisterhood in each group of women.
Banana - I was rushed hard by my first choice on preference day, including by one of the people that I know at this school. I was enamored Ė these women were smart, classy, polished, they looked like me, the PNMs looked like me, beautiful house. Preference was wonderful and they really, REALLY rushed me hard. It was an easy choice to rank them first and I told them so. All the girls in my Rho Gam group said that they thought that I would fit this chapter perfectly.
Orange - I had two more parties that day: the next was the chapter that my aunt was in, who I had ranked as ďmehĒ all week, and had listed as a lower alternate after the second round, but had a beautiful house, and the girls were nice, but I felt no connection and preference bored me.
Apple - I then had a final party (we could have three that day) at a chapter that was my favorite in Round 1 and close to the top in Round 2, but during Round 3, I talked to three girls that I didnít click with and felt uncomfortable around. In addition, I couldnít remember a girlís name, after talking to her for twenty minutes, and I had only not gotten a name (and written it down, I have a record of every girl I talked to until preference) from my last party of Round 1 at a house that made me instantly uncomfortable. Iím good with names, and that threw me, then I talked to a girl who wouldnít look me in the eye (rather, a foot to my left). I loved this house the first two rounds, but the third had been painful, and their house is a landmark, so it canít be altered, rendering it significantly smaller than each of the houses that I toured. Itís beautiful, of course, but very cramped. I left very confused from preference, because the chapter which was my favorite for the first half was painful for the last half.
Our school has a policy Ė if you play fair the whole week by attending every party to which you have been invited, and if you rank every house that you attended for preference, you are guaranteed a bid.
So, imagine my shock when I was given a bid to Orange.
I donít want to sound ungrateful in the least. Please, donít take this as a ďboo-hoo, I didnít get my first choice, so Iím going to whine and tear down that chapter for the next four years and poutĒ. I do not want to sound rude. Iím seventeen and an INFJ (if you enjoy Myers-Briggs types) and an HSP, and Iím away from home. I am not in the least trying to have a pity party. I really just need the advice of actives or alumnae who may have seen this before. As Liesl says, ďI need someone older and wiser, telling me what to dooo-ooooĒ. (Though if you belong to Rolfís political party, I may not heed your advice.)
I quickly realized that I needed to put on a happy face. A girl in my group received a bid that she was not happy with and did not go to the bid day event there. She really wanted Orange, and I wanted Banana, and I knew that this was not a time to get to cry and whine when I had been given an invitation that someone else really wanted. So, like everyone else, I jumped around and smiled and ran to my pledge class. I was putting that smile on with everything that I had and was trying not to look at Banana.
Bid Day was awkward Ė running around with girls I didnít feel connected to and taking pictures with strangers and wondering what I could have done to rank higher at Banana while smiling and trying to learn peopleís names and act excited is emotional. I was torn inside.
A few weeks later, I find myself in a predicament.
My pledge class sort of scares me Ė Iím not one to go out, and Iím certainly not one to go out three nights in row (I like pajamas and pizza and those fun paisley adult coloring pages and having conversations with my amazing roommates). I have absolutely no problem with drinking, but I think that girls that represent an organization should do so with a little decorum, instead of bragging about their conquests to the entire group and getting raunchy comments and high fives in return. Iím sure that I am not the only one that feels that way, but as those are the girls who are extroverts, and girls like me tend not to speak up in that sort of situation, I feel that I am probably in the silent percentage.
I really like a girl who I had as my temporary big; we have a class together and always sit together, and she encourages me to keep trying. She said that for the first month, she wondered if she should drop (she is much like me and felt similarly about her pledge class). I am getting to know a few sophomores, but I feel like the freshmen who go out regularly (about 80% of our class on a typical Friday) are getting to know the sophomores more and creating a divide that I noticed during recruitment. The chapter tends to have mostly loud and spontaneous girls, with a majority of very quiet, sometimes awkward girls, and a few in between the two.
I feel a sense of dread Ė we are supposed to pref for bigs in one week. The girl I mentioned is the only one with whom I would feel comfortable. I donít even know if I want to initiate. I feel like an outsider in the group that I thought would welcome me. I donít want to be in Banana anymore and am definitely not pining for a second chance there, as Iíve gotten to know (by coincidence) several members in their pledge class and I know that it is not the place for me (there is a girl from my hometown who isÖone of my least favorite people, and I figure that if that is her home, then it is better that we are not together, and we were separated for a reason). I just donít feel any affection for Orange, and do not want to pref for bigs if Iím not sure that I want to initiate. I would not feel right taking a big in Orange, and certainly not a lifetime membership, if I donít like it.
Here is the big question (I know that this has been over 1,000 words and I apologize for my word vomit):
How can I figure out if I should stay? Should I talk to the sophomore that I connect with? Our New Member Educators? Keep this to myself? I donít want to be ďthe girl who didnít want to be hereĒ if I continue on. However, at this time, if I donít feel right about it, I cannot in good conscience take a big. I need to know where to start to try to get some help with this, and as sorority women, I figured why not ask.
Again, I realize that to get a bid is an honor, and I have really been giving it a shot. I come over to Orange almost every day, I sit with new people at every meeting to try to meet new people, I sit with girls in my PC if I see them at lunchÖI just need some advice. Neither of my parents were greek, so they can offer sympathy, but are encouraging me to keep trying.
Okay, 1400 words later (I swear, all my schoolwork is done for tonight) Ė thank you, Greek Chat!
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  #2  
Old 09-11-2015, 04:33 AM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by needadvice View Post
I recently went through recruitment. I truly enjoyed most of the process; since I know very few people at this school (as in, count them on one hand), I loved getting to meet new people and see what theyíre all about. Skipping through all the parties, Iíll get to the end. I also want to emphasize the fact that every chapter here is wonderful, and that I hold great respect for the traditions and sisterhood in each group of women.
Banana - I was rushed hard by my first choice on preference day, including by one of the people that I know at this school. I was enamored Ė these women were smart, classy, polished, they looked like me, the PNMs looked like me, beautiful house. Preference was wonderful and they really, REALLY rushed me hard. It was an easy choice to rank them first and I told them so. All the girls in my Rho Gam group said that they thought that I would fit this chapter perfectly.
Orange - I had two more parties that day: the next was the chapter that my aunt was in, who I had ranked as ďmehĒ all week, and had listed as a lower alternate after the second round, but had a beautiful house, and the girls were nice, but I felt no connection and preference bored me.
Apple - I then had a final party (we could have three that day) at a chapter that was my favorite in Round 1 and close to the top in Round 2, but during Round 3, I talked to three girls that I didnít click with and felt uncomfortable around. In addition, I couldnít remember a girlís name, after talking to her for twenty minutes, and I had only not gotten a name (and written it down, I have a record of every girl I talked to until preference) from my last party of Round 1 at a house that made me instantly uncomfortable. Iím good with names, and that threw me, then I talked to a girl who wouldnít look me in the eye (rather, a foot to my left). I loved this house the first two rounds, but the third had been painful, and their house is a landmark, so it canít be altered, rendering it significantly smaller than each of the houses that I toured. Itís beautiful, of course, but very cramped. I left very confused from preference, because the chapter which was my favorite for the first half was painful for the last half.
Our school has a policy Ė if you play fair the whole week by attending every party to which you have been invited, and if you rank every house that you attended for preference, you are guaranteed a bid.
So, imagine my shock when I was given a bid to Orange.
I donít want to sound ungrateful in the least. Please, donít take this as a ďboo-hoo, I didnít get my first choice, so Iím going to whine and tear down that chapter for the next four years and poutĒ. I do not want to sound rude. Iím seventeen and an INFJ (if you enjoy Myers-Briggs types) and an HSP, and Iím away from home. I am not in the least trying to have a pity party. I really just need the advice of actives or alumnae who may have seen this before. As Liesl says, ďI need someone older and wiser, telling me what to dooo-ooooĒ. (Though if you belong to Rolfís political party, I may not heed your advice.)
I quickly realized that I needed to put on a happy face. A girl in my group received a bid that she was not happy with and did not go to the bid day event there. She really wanted Orange, and I wanted Banana, and I knew that this was not a time to get to cry and whine when I had been given an invitation that someone else really wanted. So, like everyone else, I jumped around and smiled and ran to my pledge class. I was putting that smile on with everything that I had and was trying not to look at Banana.
Bid Day was awkward Ė running around with girls I didnít feel connected to and taking pictures with strangers and wondering what I could have done to rank higher at Banana while smiling and trying to learn peopleís names and act excited is emotional. I was torn inside.
A few weeks later, I find myself in a predicament.
My pledge class sort of scares me Ė Iím not one to go out, and Iím certainly not one to go out three nights in row (I like pajamas and pizza and those fun paisley adult coloring pages and having conversations with my amazing roommates). I have absolutely no problem with drinking, but I think that girls that represent an organization should do so with a little decorum, instead of bragging about their conquests to the entire group and getting raunchy comments and high fives in return. Iím sure that I am not the only one that feels that way, but as those are the girls who are extroverts, and girls like me tend not to speak up in that sort of situation, I feel that I am probably in the silent percentage.
I really like a girl who I had as my temporary big; we have a class together and always sit together, and she encourages me to keep trying. She said that for the first month, she wondered if she should drop (she is much like me and felt similarly about her pledge class). I am getting to know a few sophomores, but I feel like the freshmen who go out regularly (about 80% of our class on a typical Friday) are getting to know the sophomores more and creating a divide that I noticed during recruitment. The chapter tends to have mostly loud and spontaneous girls, with a majority of very quiet, sometimes awkward girls, and a few in between the two.
I feel a sense of dread Ė we are supposed to pref for bigs in one week. The girl I mentioned is the only one with whom I would feel comfortable. I donít even know if I want to initiate. I feel like an outsider in the group that I thought would welcome me. I donít want to be in Banana anymore and am definitely not pining for a second chance there, as Iíve gotten to know (by coincidence) several members in their pledge class and I know that it is not the place for me (there is a girl from my hometown who isÖone of my least favorite people, and I figure that if that is her home, then it is better that we are not together, and we were separated for a reason). I just donít feel any affection for Orange, and do not want to pref for bigs if Iím not sure that I want to initiate. I would not feel right taking a big in Orange, and certainly not a lifetime membership, if I donít like it.
Here is the big question (I know that this has been over 1,000 words and I apologize for my word vomit):
How can I figure out if I should stay? Should I talk to the sophomore that I connect with? Our New Member Educators? Keep this to myself? I donít want to be ďthe girl who didnít want to be hereĒ if I continue on. However, at this time, if I donít feel right about it, I cannot in good conscience take a big. I need to know where to start to try to get some help with this, and as sorority women, I figured why not ask.
Again, I realize that to get a bid is an honor, and I have really been giving it a shot. I come over to Orange almost every day, I sit with new people at every meeting to try to meet new people, I sit with girls in my PC if I see them at lunchÖI just need some advice. Neither of my parents were greek, so they can offer sympathy, but are encouraging me to keep trying.
Okay, 1400 words later (I swear, all my schoolwork is done for tonight) Ė thank you, Greek Chat!
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  #3  
Old 09-11-2015, 05:17 AM
jenidallas jenidallas is offline
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Unless you are 100% happy not being Greek, I'd encourage you to think carefully. Either way you are making a serious decision with permanent consequences.

It's normal to feel this way in your first few week as the lifelong friendships don't magically appear when you don your new letters. And most of the new freshmen are also trying on their new college selves. Reflecting on my years as a collegian as well as as an advisor, I've noticed that the "strong" personalities everyone notices (but may not mesh with) tend to be very front and center which can lead girls to believe that type is the norm. I've also noticed that there is a much larger group of women on the fring, watching those women and thinking "I'm not like that".

You mention you are an INFJ (I'm an INTJ) so I'll throw out that you are likely much more sure of your sense of self than your peers but that doesn't mean it will be that way for four years. I went through my periods of doubt about finding my comfortable home too although now I'm SO glad I never dropped.

My bet is that there are others in the chapter (and in your new member class) who are more like you. You just may not be seeing them because of the dominant personalities that have taken up your attention.
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  #4  
Old 09-11-2015, 06:00 AM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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You didn't mention it but I'm assuming this is a fairly large chapter. You seem like a practical girl. I think you can see that there are a lot of women in the chapter you don't know yet. You'll connect with plenty of girls later on. I hate the 6 week pledge period for just this reason. It's too fast to start to cut through the fake and get to the real people. And don't get yourself worked up about the Big thing. She will just be one of many friends in the house. You're not marrying her! But it seems to have gotten really blown out of whack with all the gifts and stuff the last few years. So much pressure! But the fact is for many the big/little relationship isn't the OMG I love you thing it is for others. And that's ok.

Stick with it. The girls who seem like they're having more fun than you ever will are probably faking it. Or they're great at just jumping in and acting the part. You are not unusual in your hesitation.
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Old 09-11-2015, 09:47 AM
DeltaBetaBaby DeltaBetaBaby is offline
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Originally Posted by jenidallas View Post
And most of the new freshmen are also trying on their new college selves. Reflecting on my years as a collegian as well as as an advisor, I've noticed that the "strong" personalities everyone notices (but may not mesh with) tend to be very front and center which can lead girls to believe that type is the norm. I've also noticed that there is a much larger group of women on the fring, watching those women and thinking "I'm not like that".
This x1000! As one of those crazy freshmen myself, it wore off in time. Some of us just get so excited by all the newness of college partying and act like idiots for a while.

At the same time, the sophomore class may trying to show off how much fun your chapter is, and focusing a lot on partying more than they'd like to as well. The first few weeks can be a lot of everyone trying to impress everyone else, and real friendships take longer than that.

I'd talk to your NM educator (in a big chapter, are there a few of them? Pick the one you feel most comfortable with), and see if she can connect you with other women in your chapter who you might connect with. I can just about promise you that if two or three of you get together and say "hey, we're staying in tonight to watch bad 80's movies," you'll get others who want to join you.
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  #6  
Old 09-11-2015, 09:56 AM
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AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
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It is not unusual in the least to feel disconnected after pledging...even if you get your first choice. You are suddenly dropped into a chapter with a ton of women you don't know. Even if you really liked all the women that rushed you, that would still be a tiny fraction of the entire chapter. Most people feel a little intimidated. It's also not awful if you are a little scared of your pledge class. I remember being appalled that these loud (and what I thought were obnoxious) twins pledged with me. They annoyed me during recruitment, and when I saw them run down our hall, I cringed. I got to know them both over time and realized that my first impressions were wrong. I even ended up rooming with each of them separately when I was in med school. I love them both dearly even if they are hyper!

What makes a sisterhood is not what you see during recruitment. That's salesmanship. Sisterhood is made by long hours together doing things that make memories. If you have a real sister, you feel sisterhood because you've been together all your life and know everything about each other. If you suddenly got a new sister out of the blue, you wouldn't immediately feel that bond. It would take time. Give yourself that time. Make an effort to get involved (and I don't mean going out 3 nights a week.) Call your pledge sisters and make a lunch or coffee date. Ask the sophomore that you like to introduce you to her friends. One by one, you will make headway. If you are still opposed to joining at initiation time, drop out.
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Last edited by AOII Angel; 09-11-2015 at 10:00 AM.
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Old 09-11-2015, 10:22 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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I will third, or fourth, or whatever the freshmen-going-crazy thing. It's normal as apple pie - saw it all over in my dorm. The only reason I didn't was because I got into a serious relationship in about 5 minutes, which is another kind of freshman crazy. It's not because of the sorority in particular, it's because they are freshmen. Unfortunately with fall formal rush where women join a group before even having one college class, the two get tied together.

And please don't stress about your big. You might get the girl you've been hanging out with or you might end up with someone who seems like a crazy party girl on the outside but really isn't like that on the inside - and a relationship like that might be more beneficial for both of you. It's a special relationship but it is far from being the ONLY special relationship you will have in your sorority.

Stick with it.
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Old 09-11-2015, 10:25 AM
Pinecone Pinecone is offline
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you have time

I would also add that the mysticism around greek organizations is (imo) a little misleading and can lead to this weird post-pledge feeling. All of the talk of destiny and home and finding where you belong in rush can get expectations really high when in fact it is just a group of people who got together in a somewhat strange way.

I didn't feel completely a part of my group until around initiation, and then really felt committed going through rush the next year and getting my own little sister. On the other hand, I had a feeling the whole time that I was in the right place and whenever I met someone new in the group I connected with them really well (or at least 90% of the time). So it honestly could be that this is not the place for you. You will know if you have that "click" or not. I would wait and see if it develops and if not then don't initiate. If it isn't there in a couple of months it won't come. Just know that you aren't leaving something that was "meant to be" just because people talk about greek stuff that way. It's just a group.

Also, most people don't get involved as alums. You can, it's probably fun to do so, and some people get a lot out of it but you aren't picking something to commit to for a lifetime. Later in life it won't matter which sorority you were in very much. Just know it's not a big deal one way or another and that might help your anxiety?

good luck! Follow your instincts and you will find your way.
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Old 09-11-2015, 11:11 AM
amillionlights amillionlights is offline
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If your temporary big has felt the same way, but encourages you to stick it out, then I think that's pretty good advice. That should give you some indication that there are some girls in the chapter who are like you (and like her). I think it's very easy to look around and feel like everyone is having fun without you, or that people are growing closer and you're getting left behind because you don't fit in. But it still hasn't been very long. There may be a girl in your chapter who is pretending to like going out three nights in a row, just so she doesn't feel left out, but would really rather bake cookies and watch old movies. Or there might be a girl who likes going out two nights in a row, but would love to stay in and order pizza with you on the third night. It's not always as black and white as it may seem.

What you are feeling is not unusual and it's not horrible. So hopefully you can find some inner calmness in knowing that you are not alone. And, for what it's worth, you might find this situation many other times in your life - after your graduate and get your first job out of college, you may not connect right away with your coworkers. I was a campus rep for a live-in internship program and got several calls from girls who didn't connect with their roommates or coworkers for whatever reason. My advice was always to stick it out, and it almost always got better for them. So, my point is that it's not some fundamental flaw in you not getting along with the people that are supposed to be your 'destiny', your lifelong sisters - it's natural. Sometimes it just takes longer to adjust. You might have felt this way in Banana, you might have felt this way in Apple, you might feel this way in other student organizations or clubs; you might feel this way many, many other times throughout your life. And that's okay. New situations and new groups of people almost always take time to find your place, especially when you are not an extroverted, outgoing, life of the party kind of person. But it almost always does get better.

My advice to you is to follow your instincts - reach out to your temporary big, your new member educator, whoever you feel comfortable with - and share what you're going through. You're not the "girl that doesn't want to be there", you're a new member who is trying to find her place and wants to connect with her chapter. You're not the first, and you won't be the last. Keep trying, don't give up, and don't worry that you are making a grave mistake by initiating or by dropping. It really will be okay, either way - I promise. It really will be okay. If you still don't feel it after trying and reaching out, then you'll know that it's not the right place for you. But I wouldn't give up until you give yourself a little more time.
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Old 09-11-2015, 12:40 PM
jolene jolene is offline
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You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Hang in there. It seems like you're in a big chapter with a big PC. You'll find your niche. As someone else said, find a few girls who want to have a pajama party with pizza and so bad they're good movies. I bet there's a TON of girls who would love that more than you think.

As an aside...as far as getting Orange, you mentioned you are 17. You may not have gotten bids from the other two because of age requirements. My old college roommate was a DPhiE and back in the 90s, a 17 year old went through rush and they were one of the few sororities that could take someone under 18. So it may not have been a case of Banana or Apple not wanting to give you a bid, but they couldn't. This policy may have changed for other orgs since then.
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Old 09-11-2015, 01:27 PM
Alpha O Alpha O is offline
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As someone whose first little depledged before initiation, I'm going to tell you to take a big. My chapter prioritized getting me a little the next year; I'm not sure if other chapters work the same way. I felt bad that my little ended up depledging, but I got over it pretty quickly. My former little's situation was a bit different--she and I really connected (we had known each other prior to recruitment) and she connected to the other people in the chapter, but she had other priorities and realized she didn't want to be Greek at all. It's fine, sometimes things don't work out.

The reason I advise you to take a big is because I think your big can really make a difference in your experience of the chapter and whether you decide to stay or not, and therefore I think it's important to take one, even if you aren't sure whether you will stay. I have met girls from various chapters who said that they didn't feel like they belonged until after they got their big sisters and/or several weeks in. What you're feeling is completely normal!

Additionally, I think that you should connect more with the sister you already feel a connection to, as well as her friends within the chapter. If they're older than you, that's fine. One of the beautiful things about being in a sorority is that you can get close with girls from any of the grade levels.

As for your pledge class partying a lot--I can't speak to anything specific regarding this, but I can say that I was a wild child freshman year and I kind of calmed down over time. (I'm an ENFJ btw.) Starting sophomore year, I realized that being wild all the time wasn't who I was or wanted to be. So I stopped allowing myself to feel pressure to do things that didn't make me feel that great. I still went out, but it wasn't as often and I would go home early if I felt that I wanted to. Starting at college can be really hard, whether you are in a sorority or not. Like a lot of posters have said, those connections don't always come naturally and sometimes you have to work at it. My chapter wasn't that large and there were girls who went out a lot, who went out sometimes, and who didn't go out at all. That sort of thing didn't define our sisterhood. We still connected with each other, even if we had opposite personalities. Sure it might take more work, but there is a lot that people can learn from others who are different from them.

It would probably help if you organized some events and invited people from your pledge class/sorority. Invite them over to see movies, go out for ice cream, have a weekly viewing party for a favorite TV show, etc etc.

The other thing I wanted to mention was that it might be good that these girls could get you out of your comfort zone. You said that you're not one to go out, but it might be good for you to do so occasionally. You definitely shouldn't feel pressured to drink or do things you're not comfortable with or change your personality, but I've found that it has helped me grow and develop myself as a person when I've challenged myself in different ways. And if going out doesn't appeal to you at all, you don't have to.

Wishing you the best of luck!
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Old 09-11-2015, 02:03 PM
KDCat KDCat is offline
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BTDT I am a first generation Greek and I was the first in my family to go away to college, instead of community. (And the first to graduate). I don't think you should drop.

You sound a little like you have a case of the freshman blues. Lots of people feel disconnected and awkward after the first thrill of being a freshman wears off. You're not at home and school isn't home yet. At least of a few of those loud, gregarious girls in your pledge class (sorry... new member class) to feel the same way. They're just going out a lot to try to make connections because that is what extraverts do. You are all adjusting. It's a normal part of freshman year (and being a pledge/new member!) to feel this way.

If you quit your sorority now, you're going to feel the same way, but you will have lost the tentative connections that you have started to make. If you drop, you'll have to start all over again with new people. It's not going to make you feel better.

I hear you saying that you want to have stronger connections with your sisters. You like your sisters, but haven't become BFFs with them yet. Wait. It takes time. You have to spend a lot of time just suiting up and showing up to become fully integrated into the group. You are doing all the right things. Those connections will form if you just give them time.

Don't worry about being the quiet one in the group. You will be much loved by your louder, extraverted sisters for your calm and steady voice. The whole group can't be crazy, party animals. Nobody wants to do that all the time. Even the crazy party animals want to stay in and study and eat ice cream and watch TV sometimes. And the quiet girls want to go out and be loud and crazy sometimes. It's nice to have sisters that you can count on to do that with, even if it's not "your thing." The best thing about being in a sorority for me is the huge diversity of awesome women it puts in my life. There are tons of women in KD, most of whom I would never have gotten to know, who are very different from me, who I have learned to love and understand. It's an experience that has greatly enriched my life.
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  #13  
Old 09-11-2015, 02:54 PM
ConfettiCupcake ConfettiCupcake is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 46
I could have written this (except probably not so articulately). I felt just like this for the first few weeks and I know what a miserable feeling it is. Its hard to enjoy yourself even with the enjoyable activities because you just keep second guessing everything.

My temporary big gave me some good advice - she said to put a decision date on the calendar and to not think about making a decision until that date. Every day until that day I was supposed to participate in everything that I could and just enjoy myself without worrying about what I should do. When the date that we picked as decision day rolled around there was NO WAY I was going to drop! She became my Big and I can't imagine now how hard those two weeks were for her too.

My mom gave me good advice too - she said "Just meet one friend. Just one that's all you need". That helped too because I didn't feel like I had to make friends with everyone.

Hang in there and try to not overthink it all.
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  #14  
Old 09-11-2015, 03:04 PM
BraveMaroon BraveMaroon is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Music City, USA
Posts: 746
I think the Apple/Orange/Banana is really sort of a red herring in all this. I got my absolute first choice, connected with plenty of girls on a lot of different levels and still thought to myself, several times the first month or two, "Oh, dear, what have I done?"

Remember too that the wild girls are likely going to get a reality check at some point in their first semester. So the craziness that occurs now cannot sustain forever.

My advice - talk to your NME - she can help you meet sisters who share common interests.
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Last edited by BraveMaroon; 09-11-2015 at 03:07 PM.
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  #15  
Old 09-11-2015, 11:04 PM
Loyally Kappa Loyally Kappa is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Oxford, MS
Posts: 213
I think you also need to consider that during rush, you bonded with a few sisters, but had very little interaction with the girls who would end up being your pledge sisters. Give it some time ... go to football games ... enjoy some socials ... hopefully you will have a pledge retreat weekend ... and just be patient while your life changes!

Last edited by Loyally Kappa; 09-11-2015 at 11:08 PM.
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