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  #46  
Old 09-09-2015, 03:34 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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And all of this doesn't speak to the issue at hand which is a girl rushing a second time after a failed first attempt at a southern school (of undetermined size or Greek strength). Official and unofficial policies don't matter. Changing the dynamic of her personal situation is what matters. If you don't change anything there is no reason to expect a different outcome. Because this is a relatively easy thing to do, and there IS value in a well-written recommendation form, belligerently saying you don't have to have them and therefore you're not going to get them speaks to me of a personality issue that likely does not mesh well with the myriad other rules, policies and practices, some mandatory, some only mandatory if you want to succeed as a sorority member in college today. I DESPERATELY want to be a sorority member, but I don't want to do any of these specific things that are required doesn't bode too well. Tell me about that first mixer she has to attend where she hates one of the guys in the house, or the work week schedule that interferes with a part time job or any of the 80 bazillion other sacrifices sorority women have to make.

If this is not a recs required campus, if she DOES send one in, then it will be looked at with greater scrutiny since there will be far fewer for them to go through. That makes it all the more reason to send in the rec since rush failed for her last time.
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  #47  
Old 09-09-2015, 03:49 PM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubaiSis View Post
And all of this doesn't speak to the issue at hand which is a girl rushing a second time after a failed first attempt at a southern school (of undetermined size or Greek strength). Official and unofficial policies don't matter. Changing the dynamic of her personal situation is what matters. If you don't change anything there is no reason to expect a different outcome. Because this is a relatively easy thing to do, and there IS value in a well-written recommendation form, belligerently saying you don't have to have them and therefore you're not going to get them speaks to me of a personality issue that likely does not mesh well with the myriad other rules, policies and practices, some mandatory, some only mandatory if you want to succeed as a sorority member in college today. I DESPERATELY want to be a sorority member, but I don't want to do any of these specific things that are required doesn't bode too well. Tell me about that first mixer she has to attend where she hates one of the guys in the house, or the work week schedule that interferes with a part time job or any of the 80 bazillion other sacrifices sorority women have to make.

If this is not a recs required campus, if she DOES send one in, then it will be looked at with greater scrutiny since there will be far fewer for them to go through. That makes it all the more reason to send in the rec since rush failed for her last time.
Indeed. Being in a sorority requires one to be a team player, not someone who wants to come in and change the rules of the game before she even gets there. That would raise serious questions and red flags in my mind. Yes, sorority members are individuals, but individuals who are working together for the good of the entire organization. There are many, many benefits but along with those many responsibilities.
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  #48  
Old 09-09-2015, 04:14 PM
honeychile honeychile is offline
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Originally Posted by KDCat View Post
I have been an alum who was working feverishly behind the scenes at a "no rec required" campus, back when KD required recs for every bid. The rushees/PNMs had no idea. Probably most of the chapter had no idea.
This.

How many of y'all are former Rec Chairmen? Hands, please? I was while in school and saw how it works first hand. Honestly, I have to believe that many more sororities than mentioned have a no rec policy, it's just that they are obtained by the crew of alumnae primed for exactly this reason.

A wise man once said, "You gotta wanna." In Panhellenic-ese, that means, if you want a bid, you need to play the game. Period.

Again, best of luck with Recruitment. I do hope that you share your story.

.
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  #49  
Old 09-09-2015, 04:17 PM
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AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Originally Posted by Katmandu View Post
So it is lame in your opinion, and a waste of time and resources in your opinion, but since it isn't your organization, then it's not your monkey; not your circus. Snarking on other Greek organizations' rules, traditions and regulations is bad form and makes for an ugly sandbox at playtime.
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  #50  
Old 09-09-2015, 04:33 PM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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Honeychile, I was rec chair for a region of my state as an alum. As a sorority active, I never even saw one as they were for the eyes of the rush chair and alum adviser only. We had no idea what a rec looked like! We all did know, however, who we had recs for. And were never told why a rec was denied for a PNM.

I do remember seeing one rec as an active, however. It was for a PNM highly recommended and under some pressure to pledge but a young lady we as actives had questions about. We did pledge her, and she turned out to be an excellent member. Her younger sister soon followed as well as other family members, all of whom were excellent members. The alumnae recommending her had some maturity that we as active members did not as yet have.

As the alum rec chair however, I had a couple of 11th hour calls, but very few over the course of many years. Neither of the two I remember pledged us, however. One pledged another sorority and the other dropped out.
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  #51  
Old 09-09-2015, 04:45 PM
BGKdLady BGKdLady is offline
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Originally Posted by robinseggblue View Post
It does still depend on campus culture though doesn't it? If it didn't, how would BGKdLady's post be true? At my campus...if you didn't have recs you'd be cut completely. Not so true at other campuses...
And again, this was WAY back (not trying to date myself) in non-competitive midwest. At that time and place, it was a novelty to have a rec. I know I didn't have any going through except where I was a legacy. That said, I would in no way encourage the OP to go through a second time w/o them with how recruitment works today.

Last edited by BGKdLady; 09-09-2015 at 04:52 PM. Reason: added info
  #52  
Old 09-09-2015, 05:55 PM
honeychile honeychile is offline
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Now that we've completely hijacked this thread...

I'll throw another spice into the pot. What if a PNM has thoroughly ticked off an alumna, somehow, somewhere? What's to stop that alumna from writing what we called a "no rec" on the PNM involved? Yes, I did have to handle more than one of those when I was Rec Chair. In one case, the PNM in question did not have any other recs to help her out - she was not invited back. In another, the PNM in question did have other recs - which meant that there was a call to the writer of the "no rec" and much other alumna discussion. That's as much as I feel comfortable saying, though. "No recs" are taken very seriously, and at least one other rec needs to exist to further the cause of the PNM.
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  #53  
Old 09-09-2015, 06:04 PM
Pinecone Pinecone is offline
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I wanted to hear her recruitment story :(

If you all haven't chased her away on this thread I would be surprised. Darn it.

Ps I was in a good house at a school like the op's and if we had been shown refs for a sophomore going through rush we would have thought the person was a weirdo. At a small school you already know all the sophomores going through and some random alum's letter would have seemed like the oddest thing ever to throw in the mix. If a letter was needed later (I have no idea if it was) it would have been better to wait.

Pps there is something antiquated about letters. They seem like a white-glove way to ensure the person being considered is the "right kind" of person.
  #54  
Old 09-09-2015, 06:06 PM
jolene jolene is offline
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I went through informal rush at a noncompetitive school though in the southeast. I rushed two sororities and chose Alpha Xi (there are five total sororities at my school). Later I was contacted by other sororities, but had no recs. Period. I'm the first in my family to go to college much less go Greek. Why would an org that has to absolutely have recs bother contacting me (they did--ZTA)? It seems very harsh to not even look at someone because they don't have a prior Greek connection. An old roommate pledged Zeta through informal (she never initiated) and didn't have recs. Is that a newer policy? I was in college in the 90s. Is it a case of if the chapter really really likes you, an active who has a rush crush will write the rec? Can actives do recs?
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Last edited by jolene; 09-09-2015 at 06:10 PM.
  #55  
Old 09-09-2015, 06:11 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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I don't think this is a person with the attitude of everything is going to bend to her will, I think this is a person believing the word of people she knows vs. strangers on the internet and defending her friends when people contradict them. Whether her friends really know what they're talking about or whether they are giving bad advice - maliciously or unmaliciously - is the real question.
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  #56  
Old 09-09-2015, 06:20 PM
Katmandu Katmandu is offline
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Originally Posted by AZTheta View Post
Need this for my new signature. OK?
Lol, be my guest!

I love the fact that people say "I didn't have a rec" when they have absolutely no idea whether an alum signed a rec on them or not. Just because it's not from your personal direct knowledge, doesn't mean it didn't happen. And as for the thread hijacking, there is nothing for the OP to report yet. We will all be glad to hear from her when recruitment starts. And this discussion began because we ALL wish her well. We all want her to have a successful rush. We just (some of us) wish she would dot all her i's, rather than just some of them.
  #57  
Old 09-09-2015, 06:21 PM
honeychile honeychile is offline
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Originally Posted by jolene View Post
I went through informal rush at a noncompetitive school though in the southeast. I rushed two sororities and chose Alpha Xi (there are five total sororities at my school). Later I was contacted by other sororities, but had no recs. Period. I'm the first in my family to go to college much less go Greek. Why would an org that has to absolutely have recs bother contacting me (they did--ZTA)? It seems very harsh to not even look at someone because they don't have a prior Greek connection. An old roommate pledged Zeta through informal (she never initiated) and didn't have recs. Is that a newer policy? I was in college in the 90s. Is it a case of if the chapter really really likes you, an active who has a rush crush will write the rec? Can actives do recs?
Each sorority has its own rules, but for Alpha Delta Pi, an active may only write a rec for someone going to a different school. So if Ann's sister & her friends are going to attend a different school, she may write recs for them. Other than that, the rec must come from an alumna.

It's actually an old policy, for the most part. It probably started as something like the Old Boy's Network, but is now a chance for an alumna to really brag about someone she knows, someone who would be an asset to the chapter. One of my great-aunt's friends was a ZTA, and offered to write a rec for me, even though there was no longer a ZTA at my school, so it's been going on... well, a long time.
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  #58  
Old 09-09-2015, 06:26 PM
jolene jolene is offline
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Originally Posted by Katmandu View Post
Lol, be my guest!

I love the fact that people say "I didn't have a rec" when they have absolutely no idea whether an alum signed a rec on them or not. Just because it's not from your personal direct knowledge, doesn't mean it didn't happen. And as for the thread hijacking, there is nothing for the OP to report yet. We will all be glad to hear from her when recruitment starts. And this discussion began because we ALL wish her well. We all want her to have a successful rush. We just (some of us) wish she would dot all her i's, rather than just some of them.
If I had a rec, it is total news to me. I know AXiD doesn't require them nationally and the other sorority I rushed also offered me a bid. Like I said, I had no Greek connections so unless an active who liked me wrote the required document, I didn't have one. Can actives write recs? That policy seems like it would harm smaller Greek systems if a GLO can only take rec girls. As I said, I was totally clueless about sororities and wouldn't have even known how to get a rec even if I'd known about them.
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  #59  
Old 09-09-2015, 06:30 PM
honeychile honeychile is offline
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Originally Posted by Katmandu View Post
Lol, be my guest!

I love the fact that people say "I didn't have a rec" when they have absolutely no idea whether an alum signed a rec on them or not. Just because it's not from your personal direct knowledge, doesn't mean it didn't happen. And as for the thread hijacking, there is nothing for the OP to report yet. We will all be glad to hear from her when recruitment starts. And this discussion began because we ALL wish her well. We all want her to have a successful rush. We just (some of us) wish she would dot all her i's, rather than just some of them.
Like!
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  #60  
Old 09-09-2015, 06:40 PM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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Member selection policies can very greatly from GLO to GLO. And yes, they can seem unfair on the face of them. I'm not at liberty to disclose the information gathered and recorded on our rec forms, but they have to do with the personal qualities of the PNM. Matters of substance. And not the opinion of one sole alumna.

I remember one PNM in particular from my active days we really, really wanted to rush and pledge. And she was very interested in us. We got a "No rec" on her, and we all scratched our heads wondering why on earth. And never found out why. Our rec chairman made a second request. If our rush chairman knew why this rec was denied, her lips were sealed, most likely to not have gossip going around. We just had to move on, just as a PNM must do if she is cut from a favorite chapter. That particular PNM joined another very well-regarded sorority on our campus and had a wonderful college career. It was very hard for us to get recs we solicited from the particular city that PNM was from, but pledged many wonderful young ladies where the recs were enthusiastically given. I live far away from my chapter and bet that has changed by now.

My chapter's recruitment was delayed by a year, so we did already know a good many of the PNMs by the time they rushed as Sophomores. This is a very large school, so of course we did not know all of them. It was through recommendations that we met and pledged many wonderful girls who might have otherwise slipped through our cracks. Recs can be of great benefit to a PNM!
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