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  #16  
Old 09-08-2015, 02:06 AM
uclaucm uclaucm is offline
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Wishing OP the best of luck re-rushing this year. Her story brought up a question I had for some of the alums. I go to a school where 90% of girls don't get recs. Few, if any, of my sorority friends had recs when they went through. I've heard that groups required a rec for a bid but what does a chapter with that policy do at a school like mine where they take over 50 NM's, most of whom don't have recs? I am assuming the no bid without a rec policy has to vary by campus?
  #17  
Old 09-08-2015, 08:19 AM
KC_96 KC_96 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uclaucm View Post
Wishing OP the best of luck re-rushing this year. Her story brought up a question I had for some of the alums. I go to a school where 90% of girls don't get recs. Few, if any, of my sorority friends had recs when they went through. I've heard that groups required a rec for a bid but what does a chapter with that policy do at a school like mine where they take over 50 NM's, most of whom don't have recs? I am assuming the no bid without a rec policy has to vary by campus?
This is the same situation on my campus. Last year, 8 of my now closest friends received bids across five of the six sororities. Of those girls, only 1 had a legacy and recs. The other 7 did not and they were all placed into houses. I know recs are important in the south, but at my school specifically, at least coming from the people I have talked to, recs are not a big thing.

To those who believe there is "misrepresentation" in this story, I'm sorry you feel that way. I am very busy and I assure you I would not waste my time posting falsehoods on the internet. My purpose here is to inform PNMs for years to come and share my re-rush process. Reading threads here has helped me better prepare for this year and I'm hoping to do the same for others.

I have a dinner with my rho gamma and rho gamma group tonight so I'm excited to meet more new students. There is another sophomore in my group that I had classes with in the past so I'm happy to have someone I kind of know along for the ride.

Thank you for all of your suggestions on getting recs. I completely understand where you are coming from.
  #18  
Old 09-08-2015, 09:15 AM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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So here's the correlation I'm hearing: A bunch of people think you have diabetes. You have had a problem with it before, maybe - you did pass out once at the gym. Maybe your blood sugar just crashed because you overworked; maybe it was diabetes. You know several doctors. We know that making an appointment and going to the doctor is a hassle, but at least you don't have to start from scratch. A few people have told you you don't have diabetes. You can cut down on sugar just to play it safe or you can go eat a whole pie just to say screw you to the people who have said you might have diabetes. Of course it's not THEIR feet that will end up getting cut off.

So there you go. Maybe you don't need a rec. Maybe you do. Maybe by having one the chapter/s will get an extra look at you and discover something they didn't know about you that makes you appealing. By not receiving one they are tied to the information they have on you at face value.

You do you.
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  #19  
Old 09-08-2015, 09:26 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uclaucm View Post
Wishing OP the best of luck re-rushing this year. Her story brought up a question I had for some of the alums. I go to a school where 90% of girls don't get recs. Few, if any, of my sorority friends had recs when they went through. I've heard that groups required a rec for a bid but what does a chapter with that policy do at a school like mine where they take over 50 NM's, most of whom don't have recs? I am assuming the no bid without a rec policy has to vary by campus?
There are 3 ways a chapter can get recs: 1) rushee does legwork and secures them on her own 2) sorority alumna who knows the rushee (relative, mom's bff, whatever) sends them to the chapter without telling the rushee 3) chapter obtains recs for the rushees they are interested in on their own.

If a sorority's national policy is that all women pledged have recs, they get those recs somehow.
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  #20  
Old 09-08-2015, 10:17 AM
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Sciencewoman Sciencewoman is offline
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Here's the one reason I think getting recs would be a very good idea. Last year you were cut by most chapters. Having an alumna send in a rec this time might encourage a group to give you another look this year, because "once cut, always cut" is a valid concern, especially on a small campus where people know each other's business. Seriously, be completely open to all groups this time and value every invitation!
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  #21  
Old 09-08-2015, 04:39 PM
BGKdLady BGKdLady is offline
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I believe, and this was WAY back in the day, we used to have a group of Alumni on hand before pref writing recs for every girl who did not have one that was invited to pref. Kind of a stupid way around the rule, but.... I would totally agree with everyone. Why wouldn't you at least try to get them?

Last edited by BGKdLady; 09-08-2015 at 05:38 PM. Reason: add info
  #22  
Old 09-08-2015, 04:49 PM
amillionlights amillionlights is offline
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I wish you the best of luck! I went back and read your old thread and I am excited to follow along with you this year. Not to echo what everyone else said, but I think if you have the opportunity to work at getting recs, you definitely should. Even though recs might not be a "big thing" at your school, having them would only benefit you - after all, if 7 out of 8 girls that you know did not have recs, wouldn't you stand out being one of the few that does? Just a thought - best wishes to you. Enjoy your dinner tonight!
  #23  
Old 09-08-2015, 05:20 PM
BlueCarnation BlueCarnation is offline
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Not to beat a dead horse, but...please reconsider getting recommendations. Why would you not give yourself the best chance possible? I look forward to hearing how it goes. I wish you the best and hope that you will take our advice about the recommendations. We WANT you to succeed.
  #24  
Old 09-08-2015, 06:51 PM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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To repeat: If the NATIONAL sorority requires a recommendation in order to get a bid, that PNM MUST have a rec regardless of the individual campus culture.

Many chapters with that national policy will cut a PNM right after the first round if she doesn't already have a rec with them in order to concentrate on those who do as well as not to string along the PNM in hopes that a rec might be forthcoming.
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  #25  
Old 09-08-2015, 07:19 PM
honeychile honeychile is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
There are 3 ways a chapter can get recs: 1) rushee does legwork and secures them on her own 2) sorority alumna who knows the rushee (relative, mom's bff, whatever) sends them to the chapter without telling the rushee 3) chapter obtains recs for the rushees they are interested in on their own.

If a sorority's national policy is that all women pledged have recs, they get those recs somehow.
HOWEVER, if this is a campus where they do use recs, the chapter needs to really, really, really want the PNM who is putting through this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sciencewoman View Post
Here's the one reason I think getting recs would be a very good idea. Last year you were cut by most chapters. Having an alumna send in a rec this time might encourage a group to give you another look this year, because "once cut, always cut" is a valid concern, especially on a small campus where people know each other's business. Seriously, be completely open to all groups this time and value every invitation!
So much truth.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BGKdLady View Post
I believe, and this was WAY back in the day, we used to have a group of Alumni on hand before pref writing recs for every girl who did not have one that was invited to pref. Kind of a stupid way around the rule, but.... I would totally agree with everyone. Why wouldn't you at least try to get them?
I've been in that pool of alumnae. Should you get a bid, you will be known as "the PNM who didn't have anyone to write a rec for her". It is not a fun place to be.

OP, so many people would not have encouraged you to put some effort into recs if they didn't think they would help you. Not getting the recs even makes you look a little elitist.

With that said, I wish you a good experience in Recruitment.
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  #26  
Old 09-08-2015, 07:19 PM
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irishpipes irishpipes is offline
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Rho Gammas can be wonderful resources, but they can only speak with knowledge about the membership policies of their own sorority. (And some can't even do that.) Maybe your Rho Gamma's sorority doesn't require recs. I'm sure she means well, but she is not giving you good advice. In the south, recs will never hurt you and the lack of recs could sink you. Please do what you can to secure recs. Please.
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  #27  
Old 09-08-2015, 07:24 PM
robinseggblue robinseggblue is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1964Alum View Post
To repeat: If the NATIONAL sorority requires a recommendation in order to get a bid, that PNM MUST have a rec regardless of the individual campus culture.

Many chapters with that national policy will cut a PNM right after the first round if she doesn't already have a rec with them in order to concentrate on those who do as well as not to string along the PNM in hopes that a rec might be forthcoming.
It does still depend on campus culture though doesn't it? If it didn't, how would BGKdLady's post be true? At my campus...if you didn't have recs you'd be cut completely. Not so true at other campuses...

My bio sister went through recruitment at a lax campus without any recs and pledged a group that requires recs. I know because she told me this and did the same things you are doing of emphasizing it before my recruitment. Like I said I went to a much more competitive Greek school so I needed recs anyway. On her campus 99% of PNMs wouldn't have any recs. If the chapter didn't do the alum writing thing, they wouldn't have a pledge class.

I wish that national organizations were forthcoming about any rec requirements because it gets confusing for PNMs who don't have Greek family members to advise them.
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  #28  
Old 09-08-2015, 07:35 PM
navane navane is offline
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Here's the thing - last year, after being cut heavily, the OP reports that her insensitive Rho Chi told her, “Well, that’s what you get for going through recruitment without recs and legacies.”

Logically speaking, I don't think that Rho Chi would have said that unless recs were of some kind of importance on her campus. Right?
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  #29  
Old 09-08-2015, 07:41 PM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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Robionseggblue, I'm not going to argue with you. None of us here has intimate knowledge of membership selection for any but our own sorority. And that is confidential for each sorority. For mine, the National policy is for EVERY chapter regardless of individual campus.

PNMs don't know if a rec has been written for them or not. I've never seen mine! Nor do I know what information was in it! Going out and asking for a rec is not the only way of getting one. Back in the day when I pledged, it was considered very bad form to ask for one. It is actually easier now for a PNM as she can ask for consideration for one. This is especially important for a PNM who might otherwise go unnoticed in the crazy world of sorority recruitment.

Please bear in mind that a PNM is NOT going to change the rules of the game! It's each sorority that gives out invitations, not the other way around.
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  #30  
Old 09-08-2015, 07:43 PM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robinseggblue View Post
It does still depend on campus culture though doesn't it? If it didn't, how would BGKdLady's post be true? At my campus...if you didn't have recs you'd be cut completely. Not so true at other campuses...
Christ Almighty.... how many times and in how many ways do we have to say this?

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. If the policy of a sorority states that a rec is required, it is required on ALL CAMPUSES, no matter what the "culture" might be.

Whether or not that rec is written in advance by an alumnae that knows you or by some poor woman frantically scribbling out recs for girls that she has never met in a back room, A REC WAS REQUIRED.
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