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  #16  
Old 09-21-2015, 08:00 AM
Pinecone Pinecone is offline
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Please keep it going! I am rooting for you to find your bliss. Because I don't know you and it is none of my business I am going to express a concern about your current schedule I worry that with a job and keeping your grades up you should just study and acclimate right now anyway. It's tough to keep grades up and work and grades and finding your future career are MUCH more important than anything else you are doing. If your grades and ability to really dive into your college studies to learn and grow and shape your next step are going to take a back seat to any of this other stuff then you shouldn't join anything right now. I am not sure why you transferred but if it was because of anything academic then my unsolicited advice goes double.

Apologies for the lecture- your posts have led me to care about your future and I really do wish you the best. I am sorry that recruitment was so painful and that you wasted time on it. It upsets me but maybe in the end it will make way for the college career you are meant to have.
  #17  
Old 09-21-2015, 09:52 AM
rileykae rileykae is offline
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Thank you so much for the concern and advice, to everyone that's commented so far. I transferred to be closer to home, my old school just was not working in multiple ways - I didn't know anyone, didn't like my classes, didn't party and really never made friends so I always felt alone - plus I was always going home on the weekends. This new school is better for me - I only have classes two days a week and they're pretty easy and I enjoy them, I know tons of people, and my job has me working a max of fifteen hours a week to allow me to focus the most on said studies.

I'm currently taking 12 credits - last year while going through recruitment I took 17, so I've learned my lesson to not stress myself out and take classes I can do well on and put the time into them to get good grades and such.

The few other clubs I'm in don't meet weekly, they're more of a twice a month type thing - joining a sorority would be a weekly (if not daily) commitment I could make - the person that hired me at my job is a alum of Pi Beta Phi and she said my schedule could be adjusted accordingly for events and such, she understands how important greek life is to me (should I find my home).

I'm really happy I'm still looking at my options - Meg has her first event tonight after my classes, so I'll update when I get home from it.

Last edited by rileykae; 09-21-2015 at 10:00 AM.
  #18  
Old 09-21-2015, 11:52 AM
APhiLife APhiLife is offline
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Wishing you the best as you look into other groups!
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  #19  
Old 09-21-2015, 12:47 PM
ChioLu ChioLu is online now
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Good luck to you, RileyKae!
I hope you can meet sorority members in your classes and on campus in case there's an opportunity for COB or informal recruitment in the future.
  #20  
Old 09-21-2015, 01:14 PM
mumomm mumomm is offline
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Wishing you the very best in what works best for you. You seem like a very grounded hard working young woman. Please keep us updated as we want to continue to cheer you on in your endeavors!
  #21  
Old 09-21-2015, 03:27 PM
clemsongirl clemsongirl is offline
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Wishing you all the best in your journey!
  #22  
Old 09-21-2015, 03:59 PM
Alpha O Alpha O is offline
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I wish you lots of luck as you continue to look into other groups! I'm hoping that no matter what happens, you find a home on your campus in one way or another.
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  #23  
Old 09-21-2015, 04:13 PM
rileykae rileykae is offline
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About COB at my school/Digressions

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChioLu View Post
Good luck to you, RileyKae!
I hope you can meet sorority members in your classes and on campus in case there's an opportunity for COB or informal recruitment in the future.
Actually, I'm meeting with the advisor/leader for the PHC groups sometime this week/or next to sort of talk to her/find out what I can do next as per the situation of the PHC chapters - as my Gamma Chi basically mentioned the chapters DO often use COB (this was said during philanthropy night) but then my GC then told us 'we don't need to worry about that'. (To be honest she gave off the impression that we were all getting in - even though I KNEW that wasn't possible - I went into recruitment not expecting to be released, but in the end I had a bad feeling due to previous experiences.)

I realize I've been released and I am working on moving on to new opportunities, but I still have some questions per my experience and my Gamma Chi really wasn't helpful through the events/process and I'm hoping the PHC advisor may help me understand what happened a bit better (to those of you reading this - please, for my sanity, don't start the lectures as to how a PNM shouldn't ask why they were let go/not invited back - I'm well aware I will never truly know what happened, as I'm not on the other side of recruitment) while offering suggestions as to what I can do next, though I'm still exploring options on my own.

Like I said, Meg has an event tonight and I just recieved an email that Ruby has events starting Wednesday and Thursday night.

Sorry if any of this sounds condescending/angry, I'm not trying to I swear.
  #24  
Old 09-21-2015, 04:33 PM
DeltaBetaBaby DeltaBetaBaby is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rileykae View Post

Sorry if any of this sounds condescending/angry, I'm not trying to I swear.
It doesn't, at least not to me. It's good that you are going to the PHC advisor directly. In a perfect world, Gamma Chis would have all the right information about these things, but usually their training is really focused on all the things (and there are SO MANY) they need to know for FR, and COB falls by the wayside.

Best of luck to you as you continue on, and thank you for sharing your story.
  #25  
Old 09-21-2015, 04:40 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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If you sit down with yourself and really think through what happened, you can probably come up with a few reasons on your own. No, nobody is going to point blank say this or that was wrong, but think about a few things.
Grades, meh, good enough or good? Good enough might not have been good enough when cuts have to be made.
Appearance. You don't have to be a beauty queen but you do need to look put together, stylish, clean, etc., and then that undefinable something. Stated bluntly, do you dress weird, sloppy, ugly? Again, you don't have to look like you're falling out of Vogue, but if you say "I'm going to dress the way I like and to hell with what other people think" well, you got what other people think.
How was your conversation? Did you talk enough? Too much? Too loudly? Weird subjects? If they have to make cuts, that weird girl who talked about aliens would be a pretty easy cut.

Once you have really thought about that, you might be able to assess where you can make changes. Being part of a sorority IS to an extent about fitting in. If you want in, you may have to adjust some things about yourself. Or, if on critical thought you decide you'd rather dress like a biker than be in a sorority, then that's good too. You do you.

I wish you the best of luck moving forward.
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  #26  
Old 09-21-2015, 11:20 PM
rileykae rileykae is offline
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Tonight's first event with Meg was rather interesting. We got to learn who they were, what they were about and the like, as well as their recruitment process - their events continue all week. They also gave us pizza, which is always a plus.

I will be attending one of Ruby's events on wednesday after class, after I meet with the PHC adviser just to see what they're like and if I think I'd be interested in them.

On the flipside however, the room that Meg was in was between bid day celebration rooms for Castiel and Dean - this way I couldn't really focus on what was being presented over the amount of joyful screaming and chanting of the now-official PHC girls. In truth I couldn't focus at all the entire night, partly because I'm still hurt by the entire ordeal and had ran into various Team Free Will girl members in the bathroom putting on decorative glitter or face paint for bid day activities.

I may just end up using this semester to focus on my studies and calm down, and wait for COB/informal in the spring if that's even an option - (Like the reply above stated - If I look at myself I can probably figure out what the hell went wrong (though how I can improve I have no idea, I've already changed so much from the last time through), but in complete honesty it just may be that I'm too different to fit in anywhere in the greek system.)

I don't know, and I'm afraid to post to be honest - I'm afraid whatever changes I make will be rated and scored, being a simple computer was enough to put and entire eight months worth of work and personal improvement to shame. The only thing I can really think at this point can be summed up with song lyrics, from William Beckett's Just You Wait - "Soon enough you're gonna graduate, start again when you turn the page - it gets better girl just you wait - it gets better girl just you wait.'

I guess if you guys don't hear from me soon, it's because I'm choosing to not go Greek this semester given my options of what's left and am waiting for Spring should it be an option.
  #27  
Old 09-22-2015, 09:29 PM
LIXO LIXO is offline
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Rileykae, I love your positive attitude and enthusiasm about getting involved! Life is a roller coaster at times and you serve yourself well if you look for the good in every situation. Please keep us updated on this thread. Have fun meeting new people whatever the organization!
  #28  
Old 09-22-2015, 10:17 PM
amillionlights amillionlights is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rileykae View Post
I may just end up using this semester to focus on my studies and calm down, and wait for COB/informal in the spring if that's even an option - (Like the reply above stated - If I look at myself I can probably figure out what the hell went wrong (though how I can improve I have no idea, I've already changed so much from the last time through), but in complete honesty it just may be that I'm too different to fit in anywhere in the greek system.)

I don't know, and I'm afraid to post to be honest - I'm afraid whatever changes I make will be rated and scored, being a simple computer was enough to put and entire eight months worth of work and personal improvement to shame. The only thing I can really think at this point can be summed up with song lyrics, from William Beckett's Just You Wait - "Soon enough you're gonna graduate, start again when you turn the page - it gets better girl just you wait - it gets better girl just you wait.'

I guess if you guys don't hear from me soon, it's because I'm choosing to not go Greek this semester given my options of what's left and am waiting for Spring should it be an option.
I'm definitely not trying to sway you one way or the other, because I would hate for you to miss out on finding your home this semester. But, I remember a few years ago, I applied for and interviewed to be an orientation leader at my school. I wasn't selected, but most (probably all except for one or two) were. It was really, REALLY hard for me because I was faced with it constantly. Each time I would see them doing camp-related things (similar to you in the bathroom) I was hit with the same feelings all over again. Honestly, deciding to take a step back was the best thing I could have done for myself. Those feelings of rejection can sting for a long time but, if you feel like stepping away from COB at this point is the right thing for you, then do it and feel confident that you're doing what is right for you. Taking some time away really can change your whole perspective.

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
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  #29  
Old 09-23-2015, 10:39 PM
rileykae rileykae is offline
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So. After attending events for Meg and Ruby this week,I have determined that those groups are not what I'm looking for and would not be a good fit for me.

I spoke with the PCH advisor after class today, and she had some answers for me - of the 87 girls going through, 53 were given bids, and only Castiel is pursuing COB (and that's a maybe because they've never done anything like it before, as this was our PHC's first formal recruitment this year).

On the other hand, she highly suggested I still get into contact with Crowley - though I've missed all of their events due to work, they're still open to meeting with me and seeing if I'd be a good fit for them, as they could always take new members. After exploring the website and social media they have, I'm excited to look into this option. They're not as big as the other groups on campus, but smaller is what I think I need to look for.

The PHC advisor gave me their president and new member educator's phone numbers and emails. After getting into contact with those women I'm happy to report I will be meeting with a few Crowley girls for coffee tomorrow to have a sort of informal interview to see if their sorority is a good fit for me, as they will be distributing bids sometime this weekend/next week.

I will update as needed per following events! Thanks for all the continued good luck/support!
  #30  
Old 09-23-2015, 11:21 PM
amIblue? amIblue? is offline
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Good luck, rileykae!
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