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  #1  
Old 04-20-2015, 11:04 AM
Congress2032 Congress2032 is offline
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Dropped a few hours before initiation.

A few hours before I was supposed to be initiated I dropped because of 2 reasons. 1) financial reasons. I just got my first apartment and rent is almost $600 a month with the deposit and the first month of rent due before getting the key. I had to get rental insurance as well so that's $100. With summer, fall, and spring dues, I would have not been able to pay rent, pay bills or pay for food. After looking at my back account I wouldn't be able to buy my big brother the gift that I really wanted. 2) I just wasn't happy being their in general. I wasn't really connecting with the brothers and in my pledge class. Every time I hung around with them I couldn't make a conversation without making it awkward. I felt that I had no place in the chapter. I feel that it just wasn't for me and I didn't want to make a regretful decision if I went through initiation. I feel kind of happy of what I did after all because I listened to my gut instinct.

The way how I dropped is kind of funny to some people but I feel that I should of have done it another way. I dropped without telling anyone. We were in a classroom and I was planning on telling my pledge brothers, the pledge educator, and my big brother the reason why I had to drop right before initiation. For some reason I couldn't do it because I was scared and didn't want to be embarrassed for my reasons. The pledge educator told us to go to the restroom before we started so I did. But, I didn't go to the restroom. I simply walked out of the class and building and did not look back. I felt a little relief of what I did and kind of happy as well too. I felt like Andy in the Devil Wears Prada where she walks out of the car and leaves Miranda without telling her because she wasn't going to be happy if she stayed with the company. They found me in my dorm though but I didn't really get to explain the reason why I left. I can tell that my big brother hates me know because he texted me asking why I dropped. I responded but no reply. I saw a few of the brothers and they no longer talk to me or acknowledge me if I speak to them first. I feel that I should of told them before dropping but to be honest, I didn't know what to do and I felt that walking out without telling anyone was the only option that I had to do. Did I do the right thing?
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  #2  
Old 04-20-2015, 11:37 AM
clemsongirl clemsongirl is offline
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Originally Posted by Congress2032 View Post
A few hours before I was supposed to be initiated I dropped because of 2 reasons. 1) financial reasons. I just got my first apartment and rent is almost $600 a month with the deposit and the first month of rent due before getting the key. I had to get rental insurance as well so that's $100. With summer, fall, and spring dues, I would have not been able to pay rent, pay bills or pay for food. After looking at my back account I wouldn't be able to buy my big brother the gift that I really wanted. 2) I just wasn't happy being their in general. I wasn't really connecting with the brothers and in my pledge class. Every time I hung around with them I couldn't make a conversation without making it awkward. I felt that I had no place in the chapter. I feel that it just wasn't for me and I didn't want to make a regretful decision if I went through initiation. I feel kind of happy of what I did after all because I listened to my gut instinct.

The way how I dropped is kind of funny to some people but I feel that I should of have done it another way. I dropped without telling anyone. We were in a classroom and I was planning on telling my pledge brothers, the pledge educator, and my big brother the reason why I had to drop right before initiation. For some reason I couldn't do it because I was scared and didn't want to be embarrassed for my reasons. The pledge educator told us to go to the restroom before we started so I did. But, I didn't go to the restroom. I simply walked out of the class and building and did not look back. I felt a little relief of what I did and kind of happy as well too. I felt like Andy in the Devil Wears Prada where she walks out of the car and leaves Miranda without telling her because she wasn't going to be happy if she stayed with the company. They found me in my dorm though but I didn't really get to explain the reason why I left. I can tell that my big brother hates me know because he texted me asking why I dropped. I responded but no reply. I saw a few of the brothers and they no longer talk to me or acknowledge me if I speak to them first. I feel that I should of told them before dropping but to be honest, I didn't know what to do and I felt that walking out without telling anyone was the only option that I had to do. Did I do the right thing?
QFP and no you did not do the right thing. If you had to ask, you already knew the answer.
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  #3  
Old 04-20-2015, 11:48 AM
Sen's Revenge Sen's Revenge is online now
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Absolutely the wrong thing. I wouldn't speak to you, either.
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  #4  
Old 04-20-2015, 11:54 AM
amIblue? amIblue? is offline
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This is fan fiction, right?
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  #5  
Old 04-20-2015, 12:28 PM
andthen andthen is offline
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Dear Troll (I mean OP),

Are you that bored today to ask such an idiotic question.

Signed,

Someone who only cares enough to provide a snarky response.
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  #6  
Old 04-20-2015, 01:11 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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This is how I should have broken up with my first boyfriend who couldn't take a hint. This is NOT, however, how you should have broken up with your fraternity. A week before initiation you could have said you tried to make it work financially, but it didn't, and there would have been very little hard feelings.

Crucial Devil Wears Prada reference.
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  #7  
Old 04-20-2015, 01:49 PM
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DGTess DGTess is offline
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It's " ... should have ..." done something.

Concentrate on your studies.
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:49 PM
Congress2032 Congress2032 is offline
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I realized that I shouldn't have done that later on, but for some reason my gut just told me to walk out. I honestly didn't know why I did that. I knew I should of told them before I-Week but I thought that if I went through the week my mind would have changed and I would have taken out a student loan to help pay for dues.
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  #9  
Old 04-20-2015, 01:59 PM
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Sciencewoman Sciencewoman is offline
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I think this is a life lesson in: avoidance is not an effective way to handle a challenging situation -- it's just a way to avoid handling it. They're mad at you because you left without talking to them. You avoided handling the situation. So, there's a price to pay for that and by ignoring you, they're letting you know you shouldn't have avoided talking to them.
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  #10  
Old 04-20-2015, 04:27 PM
navane navane is offline
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I felt that walking out without telling anyone was the only option that I had to do.
Was that really the only option? What other options did you have?
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  #11  
Old 04-20-2015, 06:18 PM
Congress2032 Congress2032 is offline
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Was that really the only option? What other options did you have?
Nothing that I could think of at the time. I knew that if I told them then they would have tried to convince me to stay. The only thing that I kept thinking in my mind was trying to find ways to pay for dues and if I was going to be happy after initiation.
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  #12  
Old 04-20-2015, 06:36 PM
wsucalsigmakapp wsucalsigmakapp is offline
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Just wanted to throw one other piece of information out for you. This is something I have learned over the years, and at times was a tough lesson, you are responsible for creating your own happiness. Whether or not you would be happy after initiation would have been entirely up to... YOU. Throughout life you are placed into many different situations that may not be ideal, but you have complete control with how you respond and how happy you are in any given situation. Just my two cents!
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  #13  
Old 04-20-2015, 07:20 PM
navane navane is offline
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Originally Posted by Congress2032 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by navane View Post
Was that really the only option? What other options did you have?
Nothing that I could think of at the time. I knew that if I told them then they would have tried to convince me to stay. The only thing that I kept thinking in my mind was trying to find ways to pay for dues and if I was going to be happy after initiation.

I understand that you possibly felt trapped, embarrassed, panicked, or some other feeling that caused you to literally bolt from the room and leave without speaking to anyone; however, there were other options that you, in your moment of feeling overwhelmed, failed to consider. I get that there was "nothing you could think of at the time"; but, being an adult means being a grown-up and not getting tunnel vision.

Specifically, a more appropriate action would have been to say something quietly to a brother during the bathroom break and then graciously exit. No....no excuses about "they would have tried to talk me out of it". Sometimes in life we have to muster up the personal fortitude to say, "I'm sorry, this isn't for me and I am not prepared to reconsider my decision. Thank you for giving me the opportunity." Also, if you were that nervous about a personal confrontation, you could have at least written an e-mail to the brothers before showing up for initiation. What you don't do is show up and then bolt during the bathroom break. Sciencewoman was absolutely right when she said, "I think this is a life lesson in: avoidance is not an effective way to handle a challenging situation."
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  #14  
Old 04-21-2015, 01:42 AM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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This is the equivalent of going out on a date, excusing yourself after the appetizer and then ditching out the bathroom window, leaving your date sitting at the table.

Can you understand how they feel now?
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  #15  
Old 04-21-2015, 09:47 AM
Congress2032 Congress2032 is offline
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This is the equivalent of going out on a date, excusing yourself after the appetizer and then ditching out the bathroom window, leaving your date sitting at the table.

Can you understand how they feel now?
I understand now.
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