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  #61  
Old 09-10-2014, 12:10 AM
ASUADPi ASUADPi is offline
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Um why are we continuing to call ADPi "Rutgers". Why continue to pretend that we don't know that ADPi was "Rutgers".

We all know that older sister hated ADPi to the point that she resigned her membership.
We all know that the chapter is struggling as the house isn't full.
We all know that the chapter was dirty rushing.
We all know that PNM's have complained to greek life about said chapter.
And we all know that the OP hated going to the chapter.
Oh and we all know that the OP felt ADPi "robbed" her of being in USC (whoever that is) because older sister explained bid matching horribly.
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  #62  
Old 09-10-2014, 12:13 AM
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AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASUADPi View Post
Um why are we continuing to call ADPi "Rutgers". Why continue to pretend that we don't know that ADPi was "Rutgers".

We all know that older sister hated ADPi to the point that she resigned her membership.
We all know that the chapter is struggling as the house isn't full.
We all know that the chapter was dirty rushing.
We all know that PNM's have complained to greek life about said chapter.
And we all know that the OP hated going to the chapter.
Oh and we all know that the OP felt ADPi "robbed" her of being in USC (whoever that is) because older sister explained bid matching horribly.
Yeah, that's exactly why I'm calling them Rutgers. They don't deserve to have this thread pop up when you google.
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  #63  
Old 09-10-2014, 12:31 AM
HereComesTheSun HereComesTheSun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASUADPi View Post
Um why are we continuing to call ADPi "Rutgers". Why continue to pretend that we don't know that ADPi was "Rutgers".

We all know that older sister hated ADPi to the point that she resigned her membership.
We all know that the chapter is struggling as the house isn't full.
We all know that the chapter was dirty rushing.
We all know that PNM's have complained to greek life about said chapter.
And we all know that the OP hated going to the chapter.
Oh and we all know that the OP felt ADPi "robbed" her of being in USC (whoever that is) because older sister explained bid matching horribly.
Although I really did want to be in USC, I didn't feel just robbed from them because I can't be robbed from a chapter I was never actually a part of. I felt robbed of having an unbiased recruitment process where it wasn't just "your sister this" "your sister that" and being pressured into something.

And I would prefer if you please used the pseudonyms just out of respect for them because somebody said earlier where the school was and I don't want that to be out there, hence the aliases.
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  #64  
Old 09-10-2014, 12:50 AM
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AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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I didn't know which school it was (never can figure these things out, don't even care). I didn't know anything about ADPi at said school. We ALL have struggling chapters.

Having a younger sister who was a freshman when I was a senior, I can certainly understand the OP's frustration. That's what I'm taking away from this thread.
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  #65  
Old 09-10-2014, 03:06 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thetalady View Post
This part is incorrect. You EITHER get early alum status OR you resign. Resignation does not get you alumnae status. Resignation actually severs you from the organization and you are not bound for life. Early alumnae status is a privilege granted in some organizations, usually for a specific reason, which varies from sorority to sorority. Simply being unhappy with the sorority is not a valid reason.

If you sister resigned, I don't think that you were actually still a legacy at the time the bid lists were determined. Ironic.....
She's bound for life in the sense that she can never pledge another NPC group, whether she self terminated or not.

And if someone did say the school name in this thread I missed it because calling the sororities by names of schools was confusing as balls.
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  #66  
Old 09-10-2014, 04:45 AM
Wynter Wynter is offline
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This really is a tough situation. :/

While I do feel for you, I also feel that your sister's experiences really did taint your opinion of ADPi from day one. Dirty rushing or not, these girls seemed interested in you (if they had such a bad relationship with your sister...why would they if not because they liked you?).

Like others have said, a new pledge class can make the world of a difference in a chapter. Heck, mine did, and after two classes left, our sorority was ON FIRE, killing it at recruitment, and just had a totally new dynamic and feel.

I'm sorry about what happened. Please try again next year (or through COB or informal if that's possible) with an open mind, and try to remember...ADPi could be your blessing in disguise.
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  #67  
Old 09-10-2014, 05:02 AM
MaryPoppins MaryPoppins is offline
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HCTS so sorry that Recruitment did not turn out like you hoped. Sending you best wishes for school this year and for whatever you decide to do in the future,
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  #68  
Old 09-10-2014, 08:20 AM
PearlGirl13 PearlGirl13 is offline
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If this ADPi chapter is truly struggling they might be better off without these two ladies. One was a negative, grumbling sister who spread her negative views to a PNM and the other was a PNM who wasn't interested in giving the chapter a fresh look with her own eyes.

This chapter's best chance for a positive future is positive sisters.

Good luck next year, HCTS.
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  #69  
Old 09-10-2014, 08:21 AM
DeltaBetaBaby DeltaBetaBaby is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASUADPi View Post
Um why are we continuing to call ADPi "Rutgers". Why continue to pretend that we don't know that ADPi was "Rutgers".

We all know that older sister hated ADPi to the point that she resigned her membership.
We all know that the chapter is struggling as the house isn't full.
We all know that the chapter was dirty rushing.
We all know that PNM's have complained to greek life about said chapter.
And we all know that the OP hated going to the chapter.
Oh and we all know that the OP felt ADPi "robbed" her of being in USC (whoever that is) because older sister explained bid matching horribly.
And we all know that there are major holes in this story...her sister resigned membership, yet knew where she was on the bid list? NOPE.
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  #70  
Old 09-10-2014, 09:17 AM
MaggieXi MaggieXi is offline
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I'm sorry this happened to you.
What I don't get, and haven't gotten since the begining is if your sister knew you didn't want to be a part of her organization, why she didn't tell her sisters this. She could say that she was abstaining from membership selection all she wanted to, but if she knew that this was going to make you unhappy, she should have had them drop you.
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  #71  
Old 09-10-2014, 09:29 AM
ASUADPi ASUADPi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun View Post
Although I really did want to be in USC, I didn't feel just robbed from them because I can't be robbed from a chapter I was never actually a part of. I felt robbed of having an unbiased recruitment process where it wasn't just "your sister this" "your sister that" and being pressured into something.

And I would prefer if you please used the pseudonyms just out of respect for them because somebody said earlier where the school was and I don't want that to be out there, hence the aliases.
Um hello YOU are the one who gave it away by saying that your sister called saying you got a bid to ADPi!!!!!

YOU are the one who broke your code! Don't you DARE get on me about what you have been bitching about in regards to my sorority!
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  #72  
Old 09-10-2014, 09:43 AM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieXi View Post
I'm sorry this happened to you.
What I don't get, and haven't gotten since the begining is if your sister knew you didn't want to be a part of her organization, why she didn't tell her sisters this. She could say that she was abstaining from membership selection all she wanted to, but if she knew that this was going to make you unhappy, she should have had them drop you.
Exactly Maggie! Older sis could easily have told her chapter that HCTS was not interested in Rutgers and that they should not invite her back to the next round. But maybe HCTS sister was actually not in good standing with the chapter, hence the behind the scenes rush job assignment, and the sister submitting her letter of resignation AFTER recruitment. I mean, if she was that unhappy, why wait?

I cannot speak on the membership selection for Rutgers, but I find it hard to believe that a member in good standing would be allowed to opt completely out of membership selection-perhaps she would be allowed to leave the room if she was a sitting sister whose own PNM sister was being voted on, but she would return for the other voting.
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  #73  
Old 09-10-2014, 10:10 AM
shirley1929 shirley1929 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun View Post
Well later that night, my stomach was in knots and all I could think about was how I made the wrong decision and I should have suicided.

Then at around 1 in the morning, I get a call from my sister telling me I got a bid from ADPi. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me. I told her to stop kidding because my sister is a jokester, but she was being completely serious and told me that I was in the top 25 of the bid list and she talked to my friends in USC and I was on their first bid list, but not that high, so unless I suicided, I wouldn't have been in USC.

I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I was so shocked, hurt and confused. I talked to my Rho Gamma and she told me I was under no obligation to go to bid day if I didn't want to and if I still had just one little ounce of wonder if I got in USC to go to bid day breakfast, but after talking to my sister. I knew it wasn't a joke even though I hoped and prayed it was.

I went to the bid day brunch and we waited and waited to see what bid we got or if we're sticking to the theme, get their college acceptance. At the end when our Rho Gamma passed us our envelopes, I could see through and it said Rutgers. So ironically recruitment was like my actual college application process and I didn't get into USC.

I started crying and I cried even harder when my friends were jumping next to me screaming because they all got their number ones and everyone ran out of the room to run outside to their new sisters and I just cried and then left. The worst part in the world was that USC and Rutgers are next door neighbors and just feet from each other, so I had to see everybody in USC screaming and embracing their new members and I had to walk with my tail between my legs to Rutgers.

It's still even hard to this day.

It's been three weeks since recruitment ended and I talked to my big and just dropped today. The straw that broke the camels back was when I went to the chapter and one of the older members said: "We know you really liked USC, but we put you in the top 10, so we got to have you instead of them." They said those exact words and that was the end for me.

I talked to the director of Greek Life at my school and explained what happened at Rutgers and what went on and she told me I actually wasn't the first person that this happened to and there are other girls that complained of this happening at Rutgers.

I actually talked to 2 other girls in my pledge class that were legacies and had the same exact thing happen to them.

I feel so disappointed with what happened and I honestly feel robbed of a good sorority recruitment experience. I wish I could make it a happy ending and I wish I could have stuck it out, but I couldn't make myself be a part of something that just wasn't for me.

It hurts telling this story and it hurts to have to see all of my friends in my hall go to swaps, get ready for chapter and have retreats and get excited for homecoming and getting initiated. But I stand by my decision, even if it hurts me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby View Post
And we all know that there are major holes in this story...her sister resigned membership, yet knew where she was on the bid list? NOPE.
It was an older member who told her where she was on the bid list (and explained bid matching poorly). NOT her bio sister.

/all I have to contribute to this thread.
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  #74  
Old 09-10-2014, 10:35 AM
Benzgirl Benzgirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby View Post
And we all know that there are major holes in this story...her sister resigned membership, yet knew where she was on the bid list? NOPE.
Yep. I called Bull Shit early in the story.

To the OP, very few people know on which bid list you land and where you are on the second bid list. They can't tell you if you are #1 or #100 of their own chapter's list, let alone where you land on another chapter's list.

Typically, viewing the list is limited to 2-4 people, which includes the alums and at no time are paper copies to be floating around. They are always to be shredded after they are entered. This prevents girls who end up pledging your chapter from knowing they were dead last on your list, even though they got a bid.

Also, your sister doesn't just "resign" by sending a letter. It's a process that she would need to go through since initiation into a chapter is for life and not until you feel like moving on to another hobby.

It sounds like things were meant to be. Get involved in other organizations and enjoy your four years.
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  #75  
Old 09-10-2014, 11:05 AM
AOII Angel's Avatar
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASUADPi View Post
Um hello YOU are the one who gave it away by saying that your sister called saying you got a bid to ADPi!!!!!

YOU are the one who broke your code! Don't you DARE get on me about what you have been bitching about in regards to my sorority!
No kidding. She also completely gave away USC's identity to anyone who wants to figure it out.
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