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  #16  
Old 07-15-2014, 02:24 AM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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Originally Posted by 1964Alum View Post

Then at the very end of the party, the president, an officer of the forum for women I was to be a "Candlelighter" for, and one of the varsity cheerleaders came over to talk with me. Two of them complimented my dress, which did stand out in a sea of shirtwaists and wrap skirts. I also wore my great grandmother's gold cuff bracelet for luck. But then the president said, "Yes, I like your dress, but aren't you afraid that people will think you are pregnant?" The other two actives went white and my jaw must have hit the floor! The other two immediately jumped in to chide her, but I honestly didn't know what to make of it. You must remember that back in that day no "nice" girl would do the deed no matter how tempted or how committed she and her boyfriend were to each other. There were no coed dorms, no men allowed in the dorms past the front desk, and a young lady could be expelled from school if caught in a man's apartment. I was really mortified that anyone would even hint that I might be pregnant and especially a Portia and the president no less! They all left me standing there alone for a few minutes. What was I to think of that? And what were my prospects? The rush chairman went out of her way to walk me out when the party was over which reassured me a bit but not entirely.
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  #17  
Old 07-15-2014, 02:29 AM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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I'm surprised I didn't pass out! Of course I wondered if anyone else in Portia or in Beatrice would think I might be pregnant! And if so, if word would get around to the other houses.
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  #18  
Old 07-15-2014, 04:07 AM
tld221 tld221 is offline
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OMG that IS embarassing! I wouldve taken it to being called fat, which is a different level of mortification. But, the body ideals may have been different then.

I want more!
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  #19  
Old 07-15-2014, 09:36 AM
KDCat KDCat is offline
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Originally Posted by ASTalumna06 View Post
LOL! Some people have no filter between their brain and their mouth. Every thought comes straight out of their mouth. (I married one of them.)

There was probably a lot of desperate hissing going on between the actives -- "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW? SHE'S GOING TO HATE US AND WE REALLY WANTED HER! WHAT IF SHE TELLS OTHER RUSHEES THE AWFUL THING YOU SAID TO HER? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WE SHOULD JUST LEAVE YOU IN THE KITCHEN, BUT WE CAN'T BECAUSE YOU ARE PRESIDENT."
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  #20  
Old 07-15-2014, 10:23 AM
TriDeltaSallie TriDeltaSallie is offline
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Just wow. I can't imagine it being said today, but back then? Yikes.
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  #21  
Old 07-15-2014, 01:38 PM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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No, it wasn't a code for being "fat" as I was very slender. Being pregnant would have been MUCH worse than being fat!
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  #22  
Old 07-15-2014, 01:47 PM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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Willa and I once again walked over to the auditorium the next evening to pick up our envelopes which contained either a Regret or an invitation(s) for Preference. As before, we got into our respective lines and met up afterwards to walk back to our dorm.

We both had full dance cards! But still didn't tell each other whom we had preffed or what invitations we had received. I had told only my friends at the other end of our dorm hall about the "Pregnancy Dress". Willa knew nothing about it. I found invitations to:

Bianca
Beatrice
Portia

Yes! Portia had invited me to their Preferential Party! I didn't know of course where I stood vis a vis other rushees and wasn't nearly as confident with them as I was with Bianca. And of course I was also very interested in Beatrice. I felt confident that I would be a good fit with any of the three. But we had to respond on the spot to the invitations we had received. After some quick thinking and consulting with what I felt in my gut I accepted the invitations to

Bianca
Portia

Both Preferential parties were held on the next evening. I was to go to Bianca first followed by Portia.

By the time the invitations for the Preferential parties came out, the pool of rushees had dwindled substantially, either from cuts or self-removal. So we were really getting down to the wire.

I'm sure that many young women were heartbroken about either not getting any invitations to preference or being cut from their favorites. But there was no public crying back then. For sure many likely went back to their dorm rooms, closed the door, and cried there. Rush back then was every bit as emotional as it is now but emotions kept in check in public.

Last edited by 1964Alum; 07-15-2014 at 05:32 PM. Reason: misspelling
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  #23  
Old 07-15-2014, 01:54 PM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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So the night for Preferential had finally come and I had decided to accept the invitations of the two groups which had been hanging in there with me since the prior spring semester. Cleopatra, by the way, had not invited me to their pref party, which was no surprise to me.

I had two possible dresses to wear, a pretty standard LBD to wear with pearls and a very pale icy pink one with trapunto detailing on the bodice. Both were flattering and good with my coloring. I decided to wear the pink dress as I liked it better, and it was more distinctive. AND it was fitted at the waist! We were all dressed to the nines, actives and rushees alike.

The Bianca party was lovely and ethereal with many of the actives dressed accordingly. One of the members was playing the harp throughout the party and the singing was soft and beautiful in a very dim room. At the end the actives made two files with an aisle between them where each of us prospective members was walked down by our presenting member to the president where we received a flower, then walked back to our place. My presenter was of course Elizabeth, who had been with me every step of the way for many months now. Once back in our position, she leaned close to me and whispered in my ear an oral bid!!! She had said, "There's not a single woman in this room who wouldn't love to be your sister!" Panhellenic of course had told us several times that oral bids were strictly against the rules, and that if we received one at any time, we should pay no attention whatsoever to it. I was really taken off-guard, stunned, and said "Thank you" but nothing more.

I think I was able to get my Bianca flower into my purse and went off to the Portia party, which was held in the beautiful home of an alum. I don't remember any theme for this party, heavenly or otherwise, other than a beautiful centerpiece on the dining room table with the Portia Greek letters incorporated into the design. And a second very similar one just outside floating in the swimming pool surrounded by floating candles. Very lovely understated elegance. And the home was beautifully furnished with what appeared to be antique family furniture pieces and some antique silver serving pieces.. Now my mother was from a very old Virginia family and my father from an almost equally old New Jersey family, so I was quite familiar with family pieces being incorporated into the decor of a home. I was wearing once again for luck the narrow gold cuff bracelet that had belonged to my great-grandmother and given her as a girl. Tradition was speaking to me. The lighting was such that I could clearly see the other prospects and by now recognized many. As I also had at the Bianca party with a fair amount of overlap. The formal part of the party was simple but meaningful. And each of us was given a flower tied with ribbons of Portia's colors but in a more spontaneous way without ceremony right before we all left. My flower was given me by none other than the President who had commented on my "pregnancy dress"! But she seemed very sincere. As did all the other actives. NO oral bid!

Both parties and ceremonies were very meaningful and moving, but I saw no tears flowing! Perhaps a sign of the times as I think we were more publicly reserved back then.
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  #24  
Old 07-15-2014, 02:01 PM
Low D Flat Low D Flat is offline
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This is riveting!
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  #25  
Old 07-15-2014, 02:04 PM
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irishpipes irishpipes is offline
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But there was no pubic crying back then.
I hope not! Lol!
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  #26  
Old 07-15-2014, 03:05 PM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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I hope not! Lol!
LOL! Thought I had edited that! Was probably still thinking about the Pregnancy Dress!
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  #27  
Old 07-15-2014, 03:19 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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a very pale icy pink one with trapunto detailing on the bodice.
I want to see this dress so much.

The pregnancy comment reminds me of a sister who upon meeting me (as an alum) said "wow, I'm pale, but you look like the Joker." Thanks, I love you too.
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  #28  
Old 07-15-2014, 04:33 PM
pinksequins pinksequins is offline
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I love this story!
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  #29  
Old 07-15-2014, 05:26 PM
shellylou shellylou is offline
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I love it too! Change is mostly good but sometimes I wish the Greek world would take a little step back!
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  #30  
Old 07-15-2014, 05:55 PM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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I want to see this dress so much.

The pregnancy comment reminds me of a sister who upon meeting me (as an alum) said "wow, I'm pale, but you look like the Joker." Thanks, I love you too.
LOL! That dress remained one of my favorites for a couple of years. I am wearing it in a photo of my pledge class taken at Bid Acceptance. It is upstairs in the attic somewhere.
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