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  #211  
Old 12-24-2007, 12:53 PM
amanda6035 amanda6035 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnation View Post
I was thinking of this thread today. It's one of the family jokes that if I were a Disney princess, the others feel I would clearly be Belle whereas I have always insisted that I'm Sleeping Beauty. (I've felt that way for decades--since Sleeping Beauty came out when I was a child.)

So it would be like someone insisting she was a sure fit for Sleeping Beauty Sorority (Sigma Beta Sigma?) when the whole world, except her, knows she's clearly a Belle.
Hahah, slight hijack - Sigma Beta Sigma is a local at Young Harris College in north GA. My best friend is one.
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  #212  
Old 12-26-2007, 01:09 PM
orchid2 orchid2 is offline
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Don't necessarily agree.

On the original topic...

I may hold a minority opinion in this thread, but I do not believe that everybody ends up where they are meant to be. I have seen several girls go through recruitment, receive heavy cuts, and pledge groups where they don't necessarily fit because they feel that SOME kind of greek experience is better than NOTHING, and they are willing to keep an open mind and make the best of what "fate" has given them. For these girls, the alternative is to either wait a year and rush again (missing out on greek life for a year, school does not hold an informal spring recruitment) or take a chance on COB (risky that they will still be non-greek for a year if these houses remain at quota!). Sometimes this works out beautifully and the girl realizes that she is in the right place. Other times, it doesn't. I know girls who remained in XYZ or ABC because they craved sisterhood, but never felt at home. There may be a life lesson to be learned and some kind of reason for the experience, but I honestly cannot believe that these girls ended up "where they were meant to be." Just my 2 cents.

Anybody can find happiness if it is sought out with enough fervor, but depending on personality of the girl and of the group, that happiness may not come as naturally for her in ABC as it would in XYZ...

Bottom line, it's what you make of your experience.
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  #213  
Old 12-26-2007, 02:51 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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Yea!!!!!orchid2, you've said perfectly what I've been attempting to say!!Thank you!!!!
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  #214  
Old 12-26-2007, 03:10 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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If you're at the sort of school where you have to take what is offered you or risk not having any Greek experience - i.e. if you don't pledge first semester freshman year, your chances of getting any sort of bid go waaaaay down - those chapters are usually large enough that I would think you could find at least a FEW people you can bond with.

I think that the women who end up unhappy are the ones who keep dwelling on "what if I'd been an XYZ?" That's natural and normal for everyone to wonder about, even if you like where you are, unless your life turns out perfect. But you can either decide to make yourself happy or wallow in what might have been.

I'm sure there are just as many women out there who get their first choice and find out it's not what it's cracked up to be and are even more disillusioned.
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  #215  
Old 10-17-2008, 02:09 AM
em_adpi em_adpi is offline
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Sorry, thought of this thread today...

I ran into one of my girls from my Rho Gamma group from this past Recruitment. She was my favorite (I couldn't help it! haha) and I was a little upset when she decided to drop on round 3. She just didn't know if sorority life was her, so I encouraged her to check out the other campus organizations and keep sorority life in mind.

Turns out she ended up being a COR to her roommate's new sorority and is perfectly happy there, even though she didn't really like them during recruitment. One of the things she mentioned to me was that she was amazed at how much of a difference she and her friends had seen in some of the sororities- some just weren't what they seemed to be during recruitment.
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  #216  
Old 11-28-2008, 01:16 PM
AXOrushadvisor AXOrushadvisor is offline
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Carnation,
I have found being on the other side of recruitment that a lot of the girls who get cut during first round are those that don't "light up the room" when they walk in the door. The girls that are doing really well in recruitment now that Panhellenic has changed its cutting recommendations are girls who are the "life of the party" Not real active in school, but know how to work a room and have a big personality. My niece is a perfect example. 4.0, captain of the dance team, beautiful, fun, involved, but reserved. Her experience...not so good. Did get into a Chapter that was rebuilding was recruitment chair and pretty much turned the Chapter around.
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  #217  
Old 07-08-2009, 07:23 PM
Meow190 Meow190 is offline
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I'm going to agree with many of y'all on here, but since I'm still a rushee, with a twist. I was certain that there was a certain school that was my first choice. I visited campus, loved it, they had great programs and a stellar reputation. I was sold. Then I got wait listed, and never made it in. SO I went elsewhere. And you know what? I am so glad I didnt get into my first choice, because I would have gone, and I am so happy at the school I attend now (I am not a rising freshman, fyi). One of my friends goes to my first choice (their second I might add) and lves it, but from what I now know, I wouldnt have been as happy there as I am here now. So I believe that like college acceptance and sorority recruitment, life has a funny way of giving hints to what's a good fit and what isnt. Now, I havent been through recruitment yet , I know that whichever house I wind up in (if at all) will be a choice carefully thought about by many and will be a solid one.

The funniest thing, I never planned on going the sorority route. In fact I avoided applying to schools heavy into the greek scene. Who would have thought?

Sorry to go on and on, I just wanted to show that heartbreak and confusion can lead to comfort and happiness that you were spared making the decision you thought was right when it wasnt.

Good luck to everyone rushin'!!!!
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  #218  
Old 07-08-2009, 07:35 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Originally Posted by Meow190 View Post
I'm going to agree with many of y'all on here, but since I'm still a rushee, with a twist. I was certain that there was a certain school that was my first choice. I visited campus, loved it, they had great programs and a stellar reputation. I was sold. Then I got wait listed, and never made it in. SO I went elsewhere. And you know what? I am so glad I didnt get into my first choice, because I would have gone, and I am so happy at the school I attend now (I am not a rising freshman, fyi). One of my friends goes to my first choice (their second I might add) and lves it, but from what I now know, I wouldnt have been as happy there as I am here now. So I believe that like college acceptance and sorority recruitment, life has a funny way of giving hints to what's a good fit and what isnt. Now, I havent been through recruitment yet , I know that whichever house I wind up in (if at all) will be a choice carefully thought about by many and will be a solid one.

The funniest thing, I never planned on going the sorority route. In fact I avoided applying to schools heavy into the greek scene. Who would have thought?

Sorry to go on and on, I just wanted to show that heartbreak and confusion can lead to comfort and happiness that you were spared making the decision you thought was right when it wasnt.

Good luck to everyone rushin'!!!!
Cool analogy, I just wanted to point out (for the sake of other PNMs reading) that sorority life/recruitment doesn't have the equivalent of a "wait list."

Just in case people don't get it, lol.

It is true that one can be happy in their 2nd or 3rd choice however.
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  #219  
Old 07-08-2009, 08:01 PM
AOII Angel's Avatar
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
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I like this discussion....

What I really don't like is the statement that PNMs should just pick the chapter where they felt was "home." It implies that everyone will actually have a feeling of home with any of the chapters. For a lot of people going through recruitment, the process is artificial, and their decisions can't be made based on arbitrary feelings of comfort (that for some PNMs, by the way, is based off of incomplete or inaccurate information or after meeting 2 out of 200 sisters in the chapter.)

IT IS COMPLETELY OKAY NOT TO "FEEL AT HOME" WITH THE CHAPTER THAT GIVES YOU A BID.

A true "feeling of home" comes with time after friendships have developed, after memories have been made. I am one of those people who would have felt stupid and fake claiming that I "found my home" by prefs and would be offended to think that my choice was seen as less valid because those feelings came with more experience.
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  #220  
Old 07-08-2009, 08:13 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Originally Posted by AOII Angel View Post

A true "feeling of home" comes with time after friendships have developed, after memories have been made.
Agreed.

I feel as though it is perpetuated that PNMs will instantly feel "warm fuzzies" about a chapter IMMEDIATELY when they accept a bid.

This is NOT the case for everyone.

As with ANY other relationship in life, you will not feel instantly bonded with like 100+ people right away.
Heck, you may even question your decision a few times.

That's okay. You aren't going to immediately be in love with your 2nd or 3rd choice.

It takes TIME to "feel at home."

It doesn't always happen the MOMENT you accept your bid.

For some, it takes going to a few events and finding sisters that you have something in common with. Sometimes, it's meeting your Big sis. Sometimes, it takes getting initiated to feel "at home."

So don't panic should you find yourself not immediately smitten with the chapter you got a bid from.

For some, it takes getting to know people and finding out what the chapter is all about before they feel "at home." And there's nothing wrong with that.


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Last edited by KSUViolet06; 07-08-2009 at 08:22 PM.
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  #221  
Old 07-08-2009, 08:28 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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I know, I'm double posting, but slong the same lines:

Just like "feeling at home" with your new chapter takes time, it also TAKES EFFORT.

You likely are NOT going to become BFFs with every single girl in your chapter overnight.

You also are not going to bond with your new sorority sisters by just sitting back and expecting them to make all the effort to get to know you.

Just like other relationships, friendships within a sorority take time and effort.


You are not going to "feel at home" or "bond with anyone" by sitting back and sulking about being in your 2nd or 3rd choice.

If you really want to feel at home, you have to:

Get to know members
Attend events
Hang out
Have fun
Get involved.

If you are just so upset about getting a bid there that you aren't willing to do any of those things, then maybe you re-think your decision.


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  #222  
Old 07-17-2009, 02:44 PM
anonymouse42 anonymouse42 is offline
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Quote:
A true "feeling of home" comes with time after friendships have developed, after memories have been made.
I agree with this 100%. I come from a school with a greek system entirely unlike normal ones. We only have a few, very different groups, and a long unofficial rush period. Thus, my greek was the only one I was interested in, and when I got a bid I'd spent far more time with far more people in my greek than most people will have during a traditional rush week.

And yet despite all of this, I certainly didn't feel "at home" when I pledged. I enjoyed myself and liked the people I knew, but I didn't start thinking of the group as my home or really feel like they were family until a semester or two in. It takes a while to make that kind of connection and really come to understand your group's mission, etc, even if you go into it loving them.
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  #223  
Old 08-10-2009, 03:01 PM
born2bdphie born2bdphie is offline
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I think an important thing to remember is that a chapterís personality will constantly change over time. It's entirely possible that you could end up in your number one choice, feel like you are meant to be there, totally click with all your sisters for a year or two, and all of a sudden your chapter can start to change all around you. People graduate every year, and are replaced by a new class... just like in any relationship you need to be able to adapt to changes as they come.

So I do agree that the perfect fit idea is baloney, it's like a little white lie we can tell PNMs to ease their minds during the rush process. I don't think it's a bad lie to tell, because in many cases it stops girls from dropping out early on. But I do think it's important for people to realize you don't just slide into place like a puzzle piece. It takes constant work, no matter how long you've been a member of your house.
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  #224  
Old 10-25-2009, 06:27 PM
Ggirl617 Ggirl617 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meow190 View Post
I'm going to agree with many of y'all on here, but since I'm still a rushee, with a twist. I was certain that there was a certain school that was my first choice. I visited campus, loved it, they had great programs and a stellar reputation. I was sold. Then I got wait listed, and never made it in. SO I went elsewhere. And you know what? I am so glad I didnt get into my first choice, because I would have gone, and I am so happy at the school I attend now (I am not a rising freshman, fyi). One of my friends goes to my first choice (their second I might add) and lves it, but from what I now know, I wouldnt have been as happy there as I am here now. So I believe that like college acceptance and sorority recruitment, life has a funny way of giving hints to what's a good fit and what isnt. Now, I havent been through recruitment yet , I know that whichever house I wind up in (if at all) will be a choice carefully thought about by many and will be a solid one.

The funniest thing, I never planned on going the sorority route. In fact I avoided applying to schools heavy into the greek scene. Who would have thought?

Sorry to go on and on, I just wanted to show that heartbreak and confusion can lead to comfort and happiness that you were spared making the decision you thought was right when it wasnt.

Good luck to everyone rushin'!!!!
I definately agree and to anyone who read my thread, this is a big part of why I gave my sorority a shot. I think the main difference though is that at your current school, you're not constantly seeing IvyU sweatshirts all around, whereas you might see XYZ sweatshirts all around, and it's more in your face and harder to forget.
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  #225  
Old 10-25-2009, 07:28 PM
ree-Xi ree-Xi is offline
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Originally Posted by Ggirl617 View Post
I definately agree and to anyone who read my thread, this is a big part of why I gave my sorority a shot. I think the main difference though is that at your current school, you're not constantly seeing IvyU sweatshirts all around, whereas you might see XYZ sweatshirts all around, and it's more in your face and harder to forget.

Not to sound harsh, but you really need to move on, for your own peace of mind. For lack of a better phrase, you are really looking a gift horse in the mouth. How many girls would have loved to be a member of your sorority and did not receive a bid? You can still be friends with the girls from the other group. These girls CHOSE YOU and you accepted their invitation. It's been a month.

It's funny that you bumped this thread when it gave the same advice that has been given over and over in your recruitment thread.
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