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  #1  
Old 08-21-2016, 09:55 AM
EllieBe EllieBe is offline
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Unhappy Chances?

My daughter was cut completely from formal recruitment. She received the dreaded knock on her door Friday morning. She did not make it to pref. There is a new sorority colonizing, but she is afraid to get her hopes up after this experience. She had a 3.6 GPA, leadership,had all her recs in, National Honor Society, Cheer captain, etc. (not trying to list all her accomplishments, just painting a picture of what she was going into recruitment with). She went in planning to maximize her options, to always focus on the houses left on her schedule and the great things each house had to offer. This is heartbreaking for us and I would never wish this experience on anyone. When her Gamma Chi came and told her she was cut she took it gracefully. Told her gamma chi that she understands. Her gamma chi expressed that she just loved her and her attitude. Its so hard to hear that some of the girls do like her, since its so confusing why not a single one sorority would want her as a sister. Any advice would be appreciated. She is doing better than I am I think. I am hoping that this new sorority colonizing will work out. Any of you members have any advice on going for the new sorority?
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  #2  
Old 08-21-2016, 10:00 AM
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SWTXBelle SWTXBelle is offline
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Alas, the system works well, but not perfectly, and sometimes wonderful potential members fall through the cracks. I am sorry your daughter had such a disappointing experience.

She sounds like she would be a very good candidate for a colonizing sorority, and being a charter member would be a terrific experience for her. It's true that she might be disappointed again, but that's true of everything in life. Nothing ventured, nothing gained - I wish her the very best of luck!
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  #3  
Old 08-21-2016, 10:22 AM
MTNest MTNest is offline
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Absolutely agree with everything SWTXBelle said.
I know every year the cuts are hard and can just be devasting. One of our friends did not get a bid 2 years ago and went through sophomore year and joined a great house - one of the ones she wanted from the beginning. One of my daughter's suite mates (same school) was dropped last year before pref night. It was heartbreaking, but she rebounded well and decided to get active on the campus and is an RA this year.
But your daughter has a unique opportunity with the new sorority colonizing on campus. I know at my daughter's school Phi Mu is colonizing and everyone was pretty excited about it. They have great support from the Greek community. Hopefully she will decided to check it out and see if it's right for her.
Best of luck to you both!
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  #4  
Old 08-21-2016, 01:38 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EllieBe View Post
My daughter was cut completely from formal recruitment. She received the dreaded knock on her door Friday morning. She did not make it to pref. There is a new sorority colonizing, but she is afraid to get her hopes up after this experience. She had a 3.6 GPA, leadership,had all her recs in, National Honor Society, Cheer captain, etc. (not trying to list all her accomplishments, just painting a picture of what she was going into recruitment with). She went in planning to maximize her options, to always focus on the houses left on her schedule and the great things each house had to offer. This is heartbreaking for us and I would never wish this experience on anyone. When her Gamma Chi came and told her she was cut she took it gracefully. Told her gamma chi that she understands. Her gamma chi expressed that she just loved her and her attitude. Its so hard to hear that some of the girls do like her, since its so confusing why not a single one sorority would want her as a sister. Any advice would be appreciated. She is doing better than I am I think. I am hoping that this new sorority colonizing will work out. Any of you members have any advice on going for the new sorority?

I'm sorry that this happened to her!

Some advice:

*Go into colony recruitment with FRESH EYES. Do not go in comparing this new group to your favorite who dropped you. Treat it like a fresh opportunity.

*Know that colony recruitment is competitive in its own right. There was a big colonization about 4-5 years ago in which there were folks on GC venting about how they/their kids did not receive bids. They were under the impression that it was to be somehow easier. The colony IS looking for a cross-section of diverse women from a number of academic classes, so they may be a tad open-minded about academic class, but make no mistake about it - the team is looking for the women who will be the first to represent XYZ at Whatever University. They are not taking just anyone just to have bodies.

*Do some research. Not saying be a know-it-all and spout every single fact about an organization. But DO know about the philanthropy, etc.

*Clarify why you want to join. If they ask, the answer is (hint hint) not: "Well I got cut from formal recruitment and I just want to be in a sorority." Like, why do you want to be an Alpha Phi/Kappa/KD?

*To go along with that, if you're looking for a bandaid/fix-it for "I got cut from FR" a colony is not it. Some women go into a colony recruitment situation expecting the colony to be like, the cure for being sad about being cut. Thinking it is going to be the most amazing cannonball of glitter and fun and sunshine. It is, on some level. But it is also going to be a little bit different and there will be some work (as you'll be working with the national organization on becoming a chapter.) Everything will not be identical to an established group because the chapter will be new. If you're looking for it to operate and be just like Dream Phi Dream who dropped you, you're going to be disappointed and you're going to waste the colony's time.

*Being part of a colony is a tad different but is incredibly rewarding. I cannot tell you how proud the new initiates are when they come to our Convention and get to be the first to represent their new chapter to the national body. It's a unique opportunity that not every woman will get.

So to summarize, look at it with realistic and fresh eyes and an open mind.

Good luck to her/you and please let us know how it goes.
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  #5  
Old 08-21-2016, 02:16 PM
EllieBe EllieBe is offline
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Thank you so much KSUViolet06 for the great advice!
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  #6  
Old 08-21-2016, 02:21 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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Ellie, I sent you a pm.
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  #7  
Old 08-21-2016, 02:35 PM
mumom mumom is offline
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Ellie, My DD had a similar experience and eventually received a bid to a colony. There were over 1000 girls trying for the new house. It was the best thing for her! She got to help establish new traditions and they have become a great house! I'd say go for it. KSUViolet is giving you excellent advice!
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  #8  
Old 08-21-2016, 04:58 PM
wavycutchip wavycutchip is offline
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I'm so sorry to hear this. Great advice above. Feel free to PM me, but I know carnation will give excellent advice as well.

The only other thing I will mention is that she is not alone, even on this campus. I would encourage her to use these next few weeks to get involved on all things on the Hill., and meet and get involved in things that interest her.
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  #9  
Old 08-22-2016, 12:54 AM
sissyintexas sissyintexas is offline
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I'm so sorry to hear this. This exact thing happened to my daughter's high school friend who was having a great recruitment until Friday morning. She too is a great girl with everything going for her and we could not have foreseen this happening to her. She is going to go for the Delta Gamma colonization and I wish them both the very best of luck ---- especially since I am a Delta Gamma myself.
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