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  #1  
Old 10-04-2011, 01:17 PM
greekstreak greekstreak is offline
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"Fat Girl" Sorority

I recently rushed as a junior at my small, private school in California (I transferred in the previous semester, spring of my sophomore year). Despite our school denouncing any ties with fraternal organizations (and thereby denying them any funding or recognition or affiliation with the school), we have four sororities and a few fraternities. Of course, one of these sororities is the "weird girl" sorority. The "fat girls," the "weird girls," the "ugly girls," the commuter students, etc. My roommates are all in the top sorority on campus, and have said terrible things about and made fun of this one sorority, and I'm trying not to let it influence my decision.

This is the only sorority I got a bid from (it was REALLY hard to rush as a junior), and now I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons. Thoughts??
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  #2  
Old 10-04-2011, 01:22 PM
DeltaBetaBaby DeltaBetaBaby is offline
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OHNOES! You better not accept a bid! The second you do, you will immediately gain at least 100 lbs. and be cursed with a horrible disfigurement!
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  #3  
Old 10-04-2011, 01:24 PM
PhoenixAzul PhoenixAzul is offline
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Thoughts:

Your friends are really immature, un-Panhellenic, and need to grow up.

What are your thoughts? Do you like the women in the chapter you've been invited to join? Do you see them as sisters? Would you want to be "sisters" with your friends if that is how they talked about other women? What kind of environment do you think exists in a "top" chapter where it is OK to tear down other women based on their weight, personality or appearance?
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  #4  
Old 10-04-2011, 01:35 PM
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Jill1228 Jill1228 is offline
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I couldn't have said it better myself
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  #5  
Old 10-04-2011, 01:49 PM
Mevara Mevara is offline
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Why wouldn't you want to be sisters with people who can look beyond your physical appearance and like you for who you are?
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  #6  
Old 10-04-2011, 01:55 PM
psusue psusue is offline
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My question is, what other time in your life would you ever be choosing friends based on what they look like? It's not like you're dating them, what they look like is no reflection on you. Even if every woman in the chapter was unfortunate looking, you do not change if you were to associate with them. So the question remains, do you like these women? Are they funny, kind, honest, whatever you are looking for in a group of sisters? Can you be yourself with them?

These are the questions you need to be asking yourself. If you are joining a sorority to give you letters that affirm your beauty and worth just by virtue of them being ABC and not XYZ, you might not get that with the sorority that bid you. But if you are looking for (literally) lifelong sisterhood with abounding leadership and character building experiences, I can almost guarantee this sorority to that them. So the question is, what are you searching for?
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  #7  
Old 10-04-2011, 02:20 PM
southernbelle14 southernbelle14 is offline
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I've never posted on this site before, But I've been reading posts on here for a while. People here seem to like to pretend reputations don't matter at all, but they do. I have many good friends in the "worst" sorority on my campus. While they are great, there are a lot of girls who will talk bad about every other sorority to try to make themselves feel better. They have a serious inferiority complex, which makes a lot of them rather difficult to be around. So if the girls in this sorority are similar, I can honestly understand being hesitant about accepting the bid. If, however, they do not act like this and you enjoy them and fell comfortable around them, then don't worry about the reputations.
Good luck!
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  #8  
Old 10-04-2011, 02:24 PM
KSig RC KSig RC is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mevara View Post
Why wouldn't you want to be sisters with people who can look beyond your physical appearance and like you for who you are?
Because they're fat?
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  #9  
Old 10-04-2011, 02:29 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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You could:

a.) depledge and not be Greek at all.

b.) take the bid and ignore what other people say.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen girls depledge from chapters for dumb reasons then kick themselves when they see everyone else being Greek and having fun.

Ask yourself: "Would I rather not be Greek at all than be in this sorority?" If that's how you feel, depledge. Just know that as a junior, you probably won't have another opportunity to be Greek.

Something else to consider: people in other chapters typically have bad things to say about EVERY OTHER chapter except their own. I'm willing to bet that there's a negative name for every sorority on your campus

If you were in Top Sorority, there would be people calling it "the bimbo sorority" or "the I spend daddy's money and am shallow sorority." If you were in another one they'd be calling it the "drugs and coke sorority." So no chapter is exempt from that.

This is of course, up to you. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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Last edited by KSUViolet06; 10-04-2011 at 02:42 PM.
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  #10  
Old 10-04-2011, 02:39 PM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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Hey...at least girl is laying it all out there and not giving us the "I didn't feel the connection" line. Points for honesty, and I respect that.

To say that reputations don't matter is a lie, but as KSUViolet said, do you want to be Greek or not? Can yiu look past the reputation enough to give these women a chance?
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  #11  
Old 10-04-2011, 03:19 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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Do your friends know that this is the only bid you have? You may find them eating their words mighty fast if you said you were offered a bid and have decided to accept. Girls can jump on a snotty bandwagon and when pressed really not mean any of it. It's easy to say you should do it and damn the consequences. That's going to be for you to decide, but I'd really hate for you to miss out on some great times while you're still in college because your friends said some less than kind things that they might not really even mean.

There are people in the world who are uncomfortably unattractive, who you really wouldn't want sitting next to you in a bar. If this is how you feel, then it's an unfortunate reality. But a lot of sororities are deemed the dog house when if you took off their letters and mixed them in with the hot house, nobody could pick them out of the crowd.

Best of luck to you. I hope your friends have an attitude adjustment.
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  #12  
Old 10-04-2011, 03:33 PM
crescent&pearls crescent&pearls is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greekstreak View Post
My roommates are all in the top sorority on campus, and have said terrible things about and made fun of this one sorority, and I'm trying not to let it influence my decision.
I note that you did not call these women your friends. They are acquaintances. People you know and are friendly with are not necessarily your friends. Sisters are for life. Choose your own path based on your own values, and you'll never look back on your decisions with regret.
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  #13  
Old 10-04-2011, 04:19 PM
rockwallgreek rockwallgreek is offline
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Many years ago...

I knew nothing about recruitment. I knew nothing about sororities. Can you say 1974, transfer from California to a Texas school. I went through Spring Rush. Didn't get a bid from anyone but, the "yankee" sorority. I chose to accept. My senior year the chapter closed. Not the best of circumstances, but and it's a big BUT. I decided not to be like the alumane in the city. I decided I wouldn't want a chapter to resolve if I could help it. I decided to be very active in the Alumnae portion. I am still there. I also have 4 daughters who are not only my daughters, but my sisters. I have friends from their alumnae chapter who are always there for me and my girls. My sorority has meant far more to me as an alumna than it ever did as a collegiate. That may be bad to say, but it's true. I was looking through memorabilia the other day... my 5 year old daughter (she's now 29) gave me a homemade card with a squirrel on it. If a 5 year old grasps that significance, I know I've made a difference. My daughters knew from day 1 that I was an Alpha Gam and I made sure that they saw how important it was to me.
I get really frustrated when these girls think it's only about today. Sorority life is forever and I'll guarantee that's it's what happens AFTER your Collegiate years is what's really important.
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  #14  
Old 10-04-2011, 04:28 PM
summer_gphib summer_gphib is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crescent&pearls View Post
I note that you did not call these women your friends. They are acquaintances. People you know and are friendly with are not necessarily your friends. Sisters are for life. Choose your own path based on your own values, and you'll never look back on your decisions with regret.
This is great advice.
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  #15  
Old 10-04-2011, 04:29 PM
ComradesTrue ComradesTrue is offline
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Originally Posted by rockwallgreek View Post
I knew nothing about recruitment. I knew nothing about sororities. Can you say 1974, transfer from California to a Texas school. I went through Spring Rush. Didn't get a bid from anyone but, the "yankee" sorority. I chose to accept. My senior year the chapter closed. Not the best of circumstances, but and it's a big BUT. I decided not to be like the alumane in the city. I decided I wouldn't want a chapter to resolve if I could help it. I decided to be very active in the Alumnae portion. I am still there. I also have 4 daughters who are not only my daughters, but my sisters. I have friends from their alumnae chapter who are always there for me and my girls. My sorority has meant far more to me as an alumna than it ever did as a collegiate. That may be bad to say, but it's true. I was looking through memorabilia the other day... my 5 year old daughter (she's now 29) gave me a homemade card with a squirrel on it. If a 5 year old grasps that significance, I know I've made a difference. My daughters knew from day 1 that I was an Alpha Gam and I made sure that they saw how important it was to me.
I get really frustrated when these girls think it's only about today. Sorority life is forever and I'll guarantee that's it's what happens AFTER your Collegiate years is what's really important.
Love. Thank you.
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