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  #1  
Old 10-18-2017, 03:33 PM
JLCo JLCo is offline
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Initiation

So my daughter states she is really busy and she asked me to pick up a pair of white shoes to go with the dress she wants to wear. She is wearing the same white dress she wore for high school graduation and indicates her sorority has instructed the pledges to wear white shoes.

I wanted to see if anyone had any recommendations because although her dress looks white, it is really more of a winter white than a bright white. You can only tell it is a winter white when you hold it up next to a pair of bright white shoes. I know this from when we went shoe shopping for graduation. We ended up getting a pair of nude single strap block high heel shoes. They looked great together.

I have looked at new dresses online and found very little and I do think that the graduation dress is very appropriate for initiation because it is a swing style, lace overlay dress that adds a touch of formality over some of the summer-type white dresses I have seen.

I googled pictures of sorority initiation at her college and saw pictures that included all sorts of neutral shoes worn with white dresses. I told her to send a picture of the shoes to whoever is in charge of this in the sorority and ask if she can wear the same shoes.

Any thoughts on this? Any suggestions as to what shoes in white might be a tad bit less white? I read somewhere that satin shoes are not a bright white because satin does not naturally come in a bright white color. I think her dress is probably about the same color as satin shoes. However, I think leather or even suede would be a better choice.
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Old 10-18-2017, 05:22 PM
andthen andthen is offline
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White dresses can be a pain to find but if she's fine with wearing the graduation dress and it doesn't have quite the warm hue of a winter white (I had to google what winter white was) then if it were me I'd go for it. But I don't know the specific requirements and/or expectations. If she needs to wear bright white you still might be able to find a dress online but I'd double check to see if her sorority has specific standards on if the dress needs to have sleeves, certain length etc.

As far as the shoes it may vary depending on the requirements of her sorority. I know for mine they were pretty specific that I had to wear white shoes and they had to be white with out any other colors. Before payless went out of business I actually ended up finding an inexpensive pair online which was perfect as I wasn't going to have a bunch of occasions to wear an all white dress shoe unless I was attending an initiation. I'd suggest looking online at Zappos and maybe getting a few different pairs to see what she might like (at least they have free return shipping) so you can send back the others.
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  #3  
Old 10-18-2017, 05:25 PM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JLCo View Post
So my daughter states she is really busy and she asked me to pick up a pair of white shoes to go with the dress she wants to wear. She is wearing the same white dress she wore for high school graduation and indicates her sorority has instructed the pledges to wear white shoes.

I wanted to see if anyone had any recommendations because although her dress looks white, it is really more of a winter white than a bright white. You can only tell it is a winter white when you hold it up next to a pair of bright white shoes. I know this from when we went shoe shopping for graduation. We ended up getting a pair of nude single strap block high heel shoes. They looked great together.

I have looked at new dresses online and found very little and I do think that the graduation dress is very appropriate for initiation because it is a swing style, lace overlay dress that adds a touch of formality over some of the summer-type white dresses I have seen.

I googled pictures of sorority initiation at her college and saw pictures that included all sorts of neutral shoes worn with white dresses. I told her to send a picture of the shoes to whoever is in charge of this in the sorority and ask if she can wear the same shoes.

Any thoughts on this? Any suggestions as to what shoes in white might be a tad bit less white? I read somewhere that satin shoes are not a bright white because satin does not naturally come in a bright white color. I think her dress is probably about the same color as satin shoes. However, I think leather or even suede would be a better choice.
If she was told to wear white shoes, she needs to wear white shoes. It doesn't have to be a specific shade of white, but the rule is white. Please don't encourage her to ask for an exception to be made for her. Borrow or buy WHITE shoes. Winter white, off white, cream... all are white.
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  #4  
Old 10-18-2017, 05:33 PM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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You can find some inexpensive white shoes at numerous stores. Try Kohl's, Famous Footwear, DSW, and JCPenney. You don't have to spend a fortune, as she'll likely only have to wear the shoes a few times per year, but she should make an effort to find shoes in the color she was asked to wear.

I don't usually find that sororities specify the dress and shoes have to be bright white, so feel free to try and match the shoes to the dress she already has. But as andthen pointed out above, your daughter should make sure that the dress matches other requirements. Back in the day when I bought my whites, we were required to have sleeves (white jackets and cardigans over a sleeveless dress were OK), and the dress couldn't be too short or low-cut.
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  #5  
Old 10-18-2017, 05:37 PM
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Sciencewoman Sciencewoman is offline
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Each sorority has ritual attire guidelines. She could simply ask if nude shoes are allowable or if she has to wear white. What other sororities allow is not pertinent. This is really a case of following what her group requires, and I wouldn't worry about whether the whites match. The shoes will not be the focus of anyone's attention. They will likely be looking for a modest dress and compliant footwear; whether the combo creates an aesthetically pleasing look is less important.
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Last edited by Sciencewoman; 10-18-2017 at 05:43 PM.
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  #6  
Old 10-18-2017, 07:07 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Some sororities that require white dresses and shoes require pure white dresses and shoes-not off white, ecru, eggshell, cream, winter white, etc. Hopefully your daughter's sorority is not that strict. Don't knock yourself out trying to find fashionable shoes. Most likely she will reserve her winter white dress and shoes for ritual only, so no need to be trendy or cute. I have known of members who wore white keds.
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  #7  
Old 10-18-2017, 11:16 PM
aephi alum aephi alum is offline
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^ What FSUZeta said. Some sororities require pure bright white for ritual, others ask initiates to wear something that's "close enough".

I suggest that your daughter show her winter-white dress to the chapter ritualist and ask if it is acceptable.

If the winter-white dress is acceptable, she could get Dyeables and have them dyed winter-white if she really wants them to match - but it's not crucial - there are too many things going on during initiation for anyone to notice if an initiate's dress and shoes are precisely the same shade of white.

If the winter-white dress is not acceptable, she will have to buy or borrow a pure-white dress, and she might as well buy pure-white shoes while she's at it (or borrow shoes if she's lucky enough to find someone with the same shoe size).
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  #8  
Old 10-18-2017, 11:21 PM
naraht naraht is offline
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(As a member of a co-ed service fraternity, we simply asked them to wear the best thing they brought to college, and that did include at least two people who wore their dress boy scout uniform!)
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  #9  
Old 10-19-2017, 12:56 PM
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(As a member of a co-ed service fraternity, we simply asked them to wear the best thing they brought to college, and that did include at least two people who wore their dress boy scout uniform!)
LOL...I'm just amused that mutliple people thought they'd need their dress Boy Scout uniforms while at college.
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  #10  
Old 10-19-2017, 03:04 PM
ForeverRoses ForeverRoses is offline
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whatever shoes you buy her, please just make sure they are COMFORTABLE. I suggest flats with a memory foam insert.
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  #11  
Old 10-19-2017, 08:40 PM
tcsparky tcsparky is offline
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As a former chapter advisor, and currently serving as a National volunteer, I can promise you that we don't have the time to do more than glance at the shoes to see if they meet guidelines. We honestly don't care if they are cute, ugly, or anywhere in between. We look to see if they are WHITE, including the side of the sole, and that's it. I've had women wear heels, flats, platforms, wedges, nursing shoes- you name it, women have worn them. We only cared if they were completely WHITE. The day is too busy for much else.

And yes- make sure they are comfy! She might be on her feet in them for hours. It's not a given that the chapter will allow participants to take off their shoes at any point before the ceremony is over, so she needs to be able to keep them on while standing.
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Old 10-19-2017, 10:03 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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She needs to ask her advisors or ritual chair as we are all so different. I can't tell you if nude is okay because for some it is not.

Comfort > cute.

This is not the time for 6 inch heels. You will not be a happy camper.

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  #13  
Old 10-20-2017, 12:39 PM
SoCalGirl SoCalGirl is offline
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My dress was "winter white" back in the day. Whenever I look at pictures I feel like I stick out. My shoes were white though, sandals from Payless.

I agree with suggestions that your daughter have her dress approved, especially before knocking yourself out on the shoes. Some chapters are stricter than others.

I remember a chapter president commenting "I don't care if they show up in a night gown and socks, as long as it's WHITE and not pants!"
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  #14  
Old 10-20-2017, 08:44 PM
tcsparky tcsparky is offline
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Quote:
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I remember a chapter president commenting "I don't care if they show up in a night gown and socks, as long as it's WHITE and not pants!"
We need a "like" button!!!
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  #15  
Old 10-22-2017, 08:09 PM
naraht naraht is offline
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LOL...I'm just amused that mutliple people thought they'd need their dress Boy Scout uniforms while at college.

Well, I think one of the two was an assistant District Executive in the Local BSA council while still in College and the other was involved in Order of the Arrow leadership.


And as for appropriateness for the initiation, Alpha Phi Omega started out (1925) as requiring that members have been Boy Scouts at one time, and we didn't get rid of that requirement until 1967. We went co-ed in 1976. And there is still a strong scouting tie. (expanded to GSUSA as well). The chapter (in 1986) sponsored an Explorer Post (mostly for the insurance when the chapter taught the Swimming merit badge in the University pool).

So unusual, but not inappropriate.

(But not as odd as when chapter initiation put me in the Emergency Room. )
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