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  #1  
Old 09-03-2011, 07:00 PM
vivalacutie vivalacutie is offline
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rush week disaster

i rushed this week and on pref night i got my top 1 sorority and my last choice (which i really didnt want). today bid day was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life and ended up being one of the most painful. i opened my bid card and it was the sorority i didnt want.i'm really upset and i haven't been able to stop crying.
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  #2  
Old 09-03-2011, 07:10 PM
SigKapSweetie SigKapSweetie is offline
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It's hard to get your second choice. However, you've got it now and there's nothing you can do to change that. You can either keep being upset and decide to drop out, or you can get over it and give the sorority that wanted you as a member a chance. Yes, it may be difficult for you to get over the heartbreak of not being picked by your first choice (rejection and narcissistic injury are a big deal at age 17/18), but if you decide to quit, you are stil bound to that sorority for a calendar year and cannot join any other group. Why not give your pledge period a chance and see if you could be happy there after all?* If you aren't having fun after a few weeks, you can depledge before initiation. It's either that or you won't be greek for at least another year, and you may or may not be able to get a bid from another chapter next year. At many schools, the odds of a successful recruitment decrease significantly each consecutive year.

*But if you're going to go to the chapter and be pouty and miserable that you didn't get the other chapter you wanted, don't bother. Don't bring down all the sisters and the other new members who are excited to be a part of your new chapter.
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  #3  
Old 09-03-2011, 07:20 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vivalacutie View Post
i rushed this week and on pref night i got my top 1 sorority and my last choice (which i really didnt want). today bid day was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life and ended up being one of the most painful. i opened my bid card and it was the sorority i didnt want.i'm really upset and i haven't been able to stop crying.
My biggest advice: don't make any decision on it while you're still this upset.

Take some deep breaths. Relax.

There's some really good advice in this thread, too. I really suggest reading it. Plenty of people on GC have gotten their 2nd choice and shared their stories/wisdom here:


http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ghlight=Advice
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  #4  
Old 09-03-2011, 10:24 PM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vivalacutie View Post
i rushed this week and on pref night i got my top 1 sorority and my last choice (which i really didnt want). today bid day was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life and ended up being one of the most painful. i opened my bid card and it was the sorority i didnt want.i'm really upset and i haven't been able to stop crying.
How sad that you consider getting a bid that YOU put on your card a disaster

YOU KNEW YOU DIDN'T WANT TO JOIN THIS CHAPTER and signed the card anyway? What a waste.

If you had such strong feelings that you would not want to be a member of this chapter, why in the world did you take the place away from another girl who would have loved to be a member? If your feelings were this strong, it is my personal opinion that you should have gone with single intention preference (suicide). Now that you have done it, I agree that you should give it a try instead of walking away a quitter, but only if you can honestly be a positive member.

Maybe this will be a learning experience & you will make better decisions in the future.
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  #5  
Old 09-03-2011, 10:30 PM
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SWTXBelle SWTXBelle is offline
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http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=121412
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  #6  
Old 09-03-2011, 10:34 PM
vivalacutie vivalacutie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SigKapSweetie View Post
It's hard to get your second choice. However, you've got it now and there's nothing you can do to change that. You can either keep being upset and decide to drop out, or you can get over it and give the sorority that wanted you as a member a chance. Yes, it may be difficult for you to get over the heartbreak of not being picked by your first choice (rejection and narcissistic injury are a big deal at age 17/18), but if you decide to quit, you are stil bound to that sorority for a calendar year and cannot join any other group. Why not give your pledge period a chance and see if you could be happy there after all?* If you aren't having fun after a few weeks, you can depledge before initiation. It's either that or you won't be greek for at least another year, and you may or may not be able to get a bid from another chapter next year. At many schools, the odds of a successful recruitment decrease significantly each consecutive year.

*But if you're going to go to the chapter and be pouty and miserable that you didn't get the other chapter you wanted, don't bother. Don't bring down all the sisters and the other new members who are excited to be a part of your new chapter.
sigma kappa, your sorority was my first choice. I already rejected the bid anyways :/
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:35 PM
katydidKD katydidKD is offline
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  #8  
Old 09-03-2011, 10:38 PM
vivalacutie vivalacutie is offline
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Originally Posted by thetalady View Post
How sad that you consider getting a bid that YOU put on your card a disaster

YOU KNEW YOU DIDN'T WANT TO JOIN THIS CHAPTER and signed the card anyway? What a waste.

If you had such strong feelings that you would not want to be a member of this chapter, why in the world did you take the place away from another girl who would have loved to be a member? If your feelings were this strong, it is my personal opinion that you should have gone with single intention preference (suicide). Now that you have done it, I agree that you should give it a try instead of walking away a quitter, but only if you can honestly be a positive member.

Maybe this will be a learning experience & you will make better decisions in the future.
well it works a little different in my school. i kept dropping the sorority i got a bid from every single night. but they kept calling me back until pref night. i didn't take anything away from anyone, i knew from the start i didn't want them. i didn't accept the bid anyways
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:40 PM
katydidKD katydidKD is offline
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you never dropped them actually
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  #10  
Old 09-03-2011, 10:42 PM
IrishLake IrishLake is offline
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If you knew from the start you didn't want them, why did you put them on your pref card?

Newsflash: It doesn't work differently at your school. It's the same everywhere. Just because you ranked them last doesn't mean you "dropped" them. You ranked them last, but they saw something in you that the other sororities didn't, including your first choice. And yes, there's a chance you DID take something away form someone. For all you know, there are girls who went without any bids and would love to have your bid to your last choice chapter.

Shame on you. Now you are bound to that bid for one year, which means no COBing or informal rush. Had you only put your top choice on your pref card, and still did not receive a bid, you would have been eligible to take a bid someplace else at a later time.
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  #11  
Old 09-03-2011, 10:42 PM
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SWTXBelle SWTXBelle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vivalacutie View Post
well it works a little different in my school. i kept dropping the sorority i got a bid from every single night. but they kept calling me back until pref night. i didn't take anything away from anyone, i knew from the start i didn't want them. i didn't accept the bid anyways
Um, you don't get a bid every night - you only get a bid on bid day. You get invitations every day after first round.

If you didn't put a sorority on your pref card you could NOT have received a bid from them during formal recruitment. Shenanigans, perhaps?
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  #12  
Old 09-03-2011, 10:47 PM
amIblue? amIblue? is offline
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It is a big disappointment to not get the chapter that you had your heart set on. However, GC is full of women who gave their second and third choices a chance and never regretted a minute of it.
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  #13  
Old 09-03-2011, 11:20 PM
melindawarren melindawarren is offline
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I hate to be a PNM jumping in on a PNM situation, but I feel a strong need to say:

As someone who knows the feeling of being completely dropped from the whole process, posts like this make me feel a little sad.

I spent a lot of time convincing friends to give their new Greek homes a shot. I'm glad that many of them are doing just that, because, as I've read a million times on GC, you were selected for that house for a reason.

Anyway, I really don't like being the PNM who gets in the way of other PNMs, but still, I know what it's like to get "the" phone call, and it totally stinks, no matter how the story ultimately ends. It's a shame that some other girl got the phone call and couldn't receive a bid, while the OP has just given up her bid without even giving the new home a chance.
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  #14  
Old 09-04-2011, 12:18 AM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Originally Posted by vivalacutie View Post
well it works a little different in my school. i kept dropping the sorority i got a bid from every single night. but they kept calling me back until pref night. i didn't take anything away from anyone, i knew from the start i didn't want them. i didn't accept the bid anyways
I'm really not sure why this happens (maybe people aren't explaining it well enough on the Panhellenic end?) but PNMs always think they're "cutting" the house that they rank lowest and are confused when that one keeps showing up in their schedules.

You haven't actually dropped anyone. Ranking them low just says you don't really like them as much as the others and you'd PREFER not to go back, it doesn't mean you're eliminating them from your choices.

Like, I said, maybe it wasn't explained to you properly. The confusion is pretty common though.
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  #15  
Old 09-04-2011, 10:48 AM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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vivalacutie, i am sorry that things didn't work out for you. you kept having to go back to the sorority you did not want to return to, because the middle two sororities did not invite you back.

I think we need to cut her some slack on placing the undesired sorority on her bid list. this is probably another instance of the rho gamma/panhellenic that they HAVE to put all the sororities where they attended pref. parties on their card, or their card would be spit out by the computer and they would end up with no sorority.
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