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  #46  
Old 05-11-2011, 05:48 AM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KKGTay View Post
None of the sororities at my university allow sisters to take other women as dates to functions. This is not that uncommon.

PS- A PNM who spouts off facts about a sorority to its sisters is annoying. Through our mutual selection process you will end up where you are supposed to be: in Kappa, in another house, or in no house at all. Those women receiving bids will learn many many many Kappa facts. Showing that you have done your research will not increase your chances of receiving a bid, especially if it appears that you are fixated on knowing the facts and not the sisters.
Psssst....this thread is a year old.

Although it could end up being useful to MikeEllis, so whatever.
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  #47  
Old 05-11-2011, 09:33 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Thanks Tay...I needed a new signature and found one here.
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  #48  
Old 05-12-2011, 04:00 AM
victoriana victoriana is offline
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I kinda wonder how this turned out.
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  #49  
Old 05-15-2011, 02:37 PM
adpiucf adpiucf is offline
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Me, too. FWIW, I don't think sexuality has any place in recruitment. We tell PNMs and members not to talk about the 3 B's: booze, boys, or the bible. I think that talking about "boys" should mean talking about any aspect of your relationships.

I do have a problem with members being biased against a PNM for her sexual orientation, but I also think wearing your sexual orientation on your sleeve during a first impression meeting such as sorority recruitment is inappropriate.
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  #50  
Old 05-15-2011, 04:24 PM
DeltaBetaBaby DeltaBetaBaby is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adpiucf View Post
I do have a problem with members being biased against a PNM for her sexual orientation, but I also think wearing your sexual orientation on your sleeve during a first impression meeting such as sorority recruitment is inappropriate.
I get what you're trying to say, but how else would a PNM determine if it's going to be a problem for a chapter?
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  #51  
Old 05-15-2011, 04:33 PM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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There's got to be a happy medium in there somewhere. I don't think a BIG deal should be made about it, but I also don't think that a PNM should have to worry about the right time to "come out" to her sisters (and then find out they're NOT ok with it). Obviously not something to discuss the first day of rush, but I also wouldn't save it until Prefs, unless it's a school that Prefs three chapters. A PNM wouldn't want to get down to 1 chapter on Pref night and then find out that it's going to be a problem.
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  #52  
Old 05-15-2011, 08:31 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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I get what you're trying to say, but how else would a PNM determine if it's going to be a problem for a chapter?
Exactly.

And "boys" as a topic to be avoided in rush conversations and a person's sexuality are two VASTLY different things. We tell girls not to talk about boys, let's call a spade a spade, because they might have banged the wrong person. Can you hide forever that you slept with the sorority president's boyfriend the summer before you pledged? Yes. Can you hide forever that you're a lesbian? For many people, no, unless you want to be miserable. If you want to keep that hidden from your sisters forever, I guess you can do it, but you'll probably also be keeping many of your relationships on a very shallow level.
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  #53  
Old 05-16-2011, 12:03 AM
HannahXO HannahXO is offline
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One way for this to come up is by mentioning activities-a PNM could say she is involved with an LGBT group on campus, and this is a good way to bring up sexuality and gauge actives' reactions without having to say "So I'm gay, is that a problem?"

I am a very open and accepting person (our chapter has several gay women, even one pair who is dating) but I would be a little put off if a PNM just brought up her sexuality out of the blue. Another tactic that could work is to talk to a sister you know- either one you have known or a woman you feel you've built a relationship with during rush- and confide in her. Say "I know this is a little awkward, but I really want to make sure XYZ would be ok with taking a member who is gay..."

Just my 2 cents on a really old thread but maybe it'll help someone in the future
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  #54  
Old 05-16-2011, 11:13 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by HannahXO View Post
One way for this to come up is by mentioning activities-a PNM could say she is involved with an LGBT group on campus, and this is a good way to bring up sexuality and gauge actives' reactions without having to say "So I'm gay, is that a problem?"
Excellent idea. If the chapter member gives you a look like this



you should probably not count on joining that sorority.

If there isn't an LGBT group on campus, you can work into the conversation somehow that you are a big fan of the It Gets Better Project or something similar. Again, if the member's eyebrows shoot up to the heavens, you should probably move on.
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Last edited by 33girl; 05-16-2011 at 11:15 AM.
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  #55  
Old 05-16-2011, 11:24 AM
DeltaBetaBaby DeltaBetaBaby is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HannahXO View Post
One way for this to come up is by mentioning activities-a PNM could say she is involved with an LGBT group on campus, and this is a good way to bring up sexuality and gauge actives' reactions without having to say "So I'm gay, is that a problem?"
I just want to go ahead and agree that this is a very good way to handle it.
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  #56  
Old 05-16-2011, 11:26 AM
AnotherKD AnotherKD is offline
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Originally Posted by HannahXO View Post
I am a very open and accepting person (our chapter has several gay women, even one pair who is dating)
This is a question simply out of curiosity- did they rush together as a couple or did they start dating after both were already in?
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  #57  
Old 05-16-2011, 03:42 PM
Benzgirl Benzgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by victoriana View Post
I kinda wonder how this turned out.
Me too because my cousin's daughter pledged Kappa at UT last fall.
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  #58  
Old 05-16-2011, 08:04 PM
Drolefille Drolefille is offline
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It is annoying that bringing up one's sexuality out of the blue only applies to non-heterosexuals. If I mention a boyfriend, no one will think twice. If I mention a girlfriend, some would be upset that I was 'flaunting' or 'wearing my sexuality on my sleeve.' Both are bringing up one's sexuality after all.

Few but the incredibly awkward, or very fed up would just walk in to recruitment and say "I am a lesbian/bisexual/queer/gay/etc." And as coming out of the closet is an ongoing process, not a once in a lifetime thing, I don't think there's anything wrong with not coming out during recruitment. The idea that they might not be welcome isn't something that people need to be told by college, and it's their call. Anyone who would be upset over being 'lied to' is kind of missing the point IMO.
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  #59  
Old 05-16-2011, 08:09 PM
thetaj thetaj is offline
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Originally Posted by adpiucf View Post
We tell PNMs and members not to talk about the 3 B's: booze, boys, or the bible.
Just throwing this out there: We're banned from the 4 B's: Booze (partying), Boys (grey area), Bible (religion), Barack (politics).
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  #60  
Old 05-16-2011, 10:53 PM
alphagam<3 alphagam<3 is offline
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We have a 5th B: Bank (money)
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