GreekChat.com Forums  

Go Back   GreekChat.com Forums > Recruitment > Sorority Recruitment

Sorority Recruitment Recruitment event and bid day ideas, membership retention, publicity, recruitment policies, etc.


Register Now for FREE!
Join GreekChat.com, The Fraternity & Sorority Greek Chat Network. To sign up for your FREE account INSTANTLY fill out the form below!

Username: Password: Confirm Password: E-Mail: Confirm E-Mail:
 
Image Verification
Please enter the six letters or digits that appear in the image opposite.

  I agree to forum rules 

» GC Stats
Members: 296,852
Threads: 114,107
Posts: 2,150,220
Welcome to our newest member, beveasop9419
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-04-2010, 12:16 PM
TriDeltaSallie TriDeltaSallie is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Beautiful West Michigan
Posts: 720
Preparing for recruitment since birth

I didn't want to hijack the Alabama Recruitment Question thread that just started, but I was interested in this comment by OTW:

Face it, you'll be competing for spots with some girls who have been preparing for this since birth. That's how competitive this campus is.

I know this gets said on GC from time to time, but I'd be curious if people would give concrete examples of exactly how these women are prepped from birth (whether at Alabama or at the other cut-throat universities). I don't doubt it is true for one minute. But I'd be interested in hearing examples of what these girls and their moms do in order to maximize their chances (beyond recs for every house, etc.).

And does anyone in the know have any kind of idea how many of these heavily prepped women don't make it into an "acceptable" chapter? I know no such actual numbers exist. I'm thinking more anecdotal type stuff.

Thanks!
__________________
"Let us found a society that shall be kind alike to all and think more of a girl's inner self and character than of her personal appearance." Sarah Ida Shaw

My recruitment story: My sorority membership changed my life.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-04-2010, 12:28 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 17,815
This is just northern me talking (as someone with friends who are southern school sorority alumnae).

I think that in alot of social circles in the south, it's not so much outright and blatant coaching as it is just inherent. Girls aren't neccessarily groomed to be ABC (e. g. mom quizzing daughter on how to best impress the ABCs at recruitment beginning at age 3 and continuing through senior year). It is just assumed that they will be, because that's just the way it is.

Mary Sue is born in Anytown, AL. Her mom and grandma are both ABCs from Anytown University. Sister was ABC chapter president at Anytown. Therefore, Mary Sue will be an ABC at Anytown.

No one has tell her that she'll be ABC at Anytown or prepare her for the recruitment process. She has been hearing about ABC and recruitment since she could remember, so by the time senior year comes, it's all just routine. That's just the way things have always gone in Mary Sue's family.

Now, the problem arises when the Anytown ABCs have more than quota worth of Mary Sue's going through. Often, a Mary Sue who doesn't get invited back to her ABC is going to drop out. Because well, why would she be anything else? Of course, she could very well be happy in any other of her remaining choices, but that would mean breaking the tradition of ABC in the family.

[I used family as an example here, but same is true for certain regions, high schools, etc. It is sometimes inherent that girls from XY HS join these chapters]
__________________
"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi

Lakers Nation.

Last edited by KSUViolet06; 01-04-2010 at 12:43 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-04-2010, 12:41 PM
AOII Angel's Avatar
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Santa Monica/Beverly Hills
Posts: 8,598
Exactly...

Or, when DEF decides to colonize at Anytown University. Women at Anytown haven't been raised that DEF is an acceptable organization in Anytown State so joining that group is NOT preferable to being non-Greek. This is how the custom of going to a small school with ABC chapter and noncompetitive recruitment began so that ABC legacy dropped at Anytown University could then transfer back to Anytown University to claim her "rightful" place.

It's really hard for new chapters to move up the food chain because of these biases taught from an early age.
__________________

AOII

One Motto, One Badge, One Bond and Singleness of Heart!




Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-04-2010, 12:56 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 17,815
To add to my post:

I think the more blatant coaching and preparation for competitive recruitments comes from those parents and families with the LEAST amount of connections or knowledge of the Greek system. Not uber-connected PNMs with multi-generation legacies (or those who are Miss Popular at "feeder high schools").

Like I said in my post, Mary Sue isn't coached and drilled on recruitment because it isn't neccessary. She knows (based on her social circle) where she'll end up and there's no need for these extensive preparations that we read about (e.g. hiring rush coaches, interview coaches, voraciously hunting down outfits, etc). Her family is in the know and everything will work out.

The girls being blatantly and openly groomed and coached for sorority life are those not "in the know."

Those are the girls who need the extra help because they lack well-connected parents/relatives/etc.

These are the PNMs and moms who WANT to be in a top house (like Mary Sue), and thus spend alot of time preparing for the process (because they're behind the curve of those girls like Mary Sue who don't have to exert such effort).

Oddly enough, I've heard it said that the moms and PNMs who are most concerned with getting into a TOP HOUSE (and are the MOST status-conscious) are those who are NOT "shoe-ins" for top tier like Mary Sue (such as PNMs with non-greek parents).

Mary Sue has what she needs to get into ABC so getting in is (typically) not an issue. She is not pressed about what "tier" ABC is. She has grown up in a family of ABC women, so it's all she knows.

On the other hand, Suzie Jane who just moved to Anytown in 10th grade (whose mom is NOT Greek) who sees/hears about ABC all the time from the popular girls in school, is going to have to work 300% harder to come close to having a shot at it.

Suzie Jane's mother will likely invest in the heavy duty coaching because she has asked around and knows that being ABC at Anytown University is "the best" and wants her daughter to have access to the status of being one. So she, being from the outside is more concerned with what's "the best" and "top tier."

Wow, that was long. But all of this to say that heavy duty grooming and coaching is mostly for those who are trying to "break into" sorority life and the social circle that it provides in some Southern town. Not for those who have grown up in it. For them, things just are what they are.

__________________
"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi

Lakers Nation.

Last edited by KSUViolet06; 01-04-2010 at 01:28 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-04-2010, 01:18 PM
AOII Angel's Avatar
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Santa Monica/Beverly Hills
Posts: 8,598
Quote:
Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 View Post
To add to my post:

I think the more blatant coaching and preparation for competitive recruitments comes from those parents and families with the LEAST amount of connections or knowledge of the Greek system. Not uber-connected PNMs with multi-generation legacies (or those who are Miss Popular at "feeder high schools").

Like I said in my post, Mary Sue isn't coached and drilled on recruitment because it isn't neccessary. She knows (based on her social circle) where she'll end up and there's no need for these extensive preparations that we read about (e.g. hiring rush coaches, interview coaches, voraciously hunting down outfits, etc). Her family is in the know and everything will work out.

The girls being blatantly and openly groomed and coached for sorority life are those not "in the know."

Those are the girls who need the extra help because they lack well-connected parents/relatives/etc.

These are the PNMs and moms who WANT to be in a top house (like Mary Sue), and thus spend alot of time preparing for the process (because they're behind the curve of those girls like Mary Sue who don't have to exert such effort).

Oddly enough, I've heard it said that the moms and PNMs who are most concerned with getting into a TOP HOUSE (and are the MOST status-conscious) are those who are NOT "shoe-ins" for top tier like Mary Sue (such as PNMs with non-greek parents).

Mary Sue has what she needs to get into ABC so getting in is (typically) not an issue. She is not pressed about what "tier" ABC is.

On the other hand, Suzie Jane who just moved to Anytown in 10th grade (whse mom is from Anytown and NOT Greek) who sees/hears about ABC all the time from the popular girls in school, is going to have to work 300% harder to come close to having a shot at it.


[

Unless, of course, Mary Sue isn't a shoe in. It happens. Sometimes, the triple legacy is not ABC material, but Grandma, Aunts Martha and Billie Jo, Big Sister Anna Claire and Mama just can't see it.
__________________

AOII

One Motto, One Badge, One Bond and Singleness of Heart!




Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-04-2010, 01:26 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 17,815
Quote:
Originally Posted by AOII Angel View Post
Unless, of course, Mary Sue isn't a shoe in. It happens. Sometimes, the triple legacy is not ABC material, but Grandma, Aunts Martha and Billie Jo, Big Sister Anna Claire and Mama just can't see it.
Of course that happens (I said so in my first post), but I was just trying to make my point about how the "grooming" isn't typically blatant and outright in those cases because the PNM has grown up with said sorority all of her life.
__________________
"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi

Lakers Nation.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-04-2010, 01:30 PM
AOII Angel's Avatar
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Santa Monica/Beverly Hills
Posts: 8,598
Quote:
Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 View Post
Of course that happens (I said so in my first post), but I was just trying to make my point about how the "grooming" isn't typically blatant and outright in those cases because the PNM has grown up with said sorority all of her life.
Oh, I'm not arguing with you. I agree. Totally.
__________________

AOII

One Motto, One Badge, One Bond and Singleness of Heart!




Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-04-2010, 01:45 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 14,505
From an NPHC perspective, prepping since birth happens and I think it is quite unfortunate.

It includes, but is not limited to, the lame "future XYZ" shirts that people are given at babyshowers. The "my mommy/daddy is an XYZ" shirts are only tolerable if they are on a child who is the opposite sex of the organization's membership. Telling kids "when you become an XYZ" is equally annoying.

I think it is fine to socialize kids around college educated and professional people who are also in GLOs. What's lame is surrounding your child by a particular GLO with hopes of shaping your child's decision making process. Give your child the information and let them know they have tons of sources of information and potential letters of rec should they decide to go that route. Don't bamboozle them into thinking that's THE route for them. Let them know they have support in whatever they decide.

I don't entertain future anything from children. I only entertain aspirant conversations--meaning, people who are collegiates or alum and qualify for membership. If you are under the age of 18 and aren't a college student or alum, I don't care what you want to be. If you want to be in a sorority other than mine, don't expect me to try to speak negatively about that other sorority and persuade you to join mine when you FINALLY go to college. I had a child in the family try that with me over the holiday. LOL.

Last edited by DrPhil; 01-04-2010 at 02:05 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-04-2010, 01:46 PM
TriDeltaSallie TriDeltaSallie is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Beautiful West Michigan
Posts: 720
Quote:
Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 View Post


Oddly enough, I've heard it said that the moms and PNMs who are most concerned with getting into a TOP HOUSE (and are the MOST status-conscious) are those who are NOT "shoe-ins" for top tier like Mary Sue (such as PNMs with non-greek parents).

Mary Sue has what she needs to get into ABC so getting in is (typically) not an issue. She is not pressed about what "tier" ABC is. She has grown up in a family of ABC women, so it's all she knows.

Thanks for all the interesting replies!

So if Mary Sue is an ABC super legacy and ABC is a "second tier" group (still good and acceptable but not one of "the" groups), and she would have what it takes to make it into a "top tier" group... Would she strive for "improving" herself by going for the top tier group or would she be more apt to be "content" as an ABC because that is all she knows and what is expected? Would her family be glad to have her move to a "top tier" group or would ABC membership be all that matters?
__________________
"Let us found a society that shall be kind alike to all and think more of a girl's inner self and character than of her personal appearance." Sarah Ida Shaw

My recruitment story: My sorority membership changed my life.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01-04-2010, 01:51 PM
AOII Angel's Avatar
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Santa Monica/Beverly Hills
Posts: 8,598
Quote:
Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie View Post
Thanks for all the interesting replies!

So if Mary Sue is an ABC super legacy and ABC is a "second tier" group (still good and acceptable but not one of "the" groups), and she would have what it takes to make it into a "top tier" group... Would she strive for "improving" herself by going for the top tier group or would she be more apt to be "content" as an ABC because that is all she knows and what is expected? Would her family be glad to have her move to a "top tier" group or would ABC membership be all that matters?
If I were a betting woman, I think it would be ABC all the way. You have that many ABCs in your family, many times, they don't like seeing a family member purposely join a rival organization. (Whether or not they are the same "tier" or higher.)
__________________

AOII

One Motto, One Badge, One Bond and Singleness of Heart!




Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 01-04-2010, 01:52 PM
chopperdude chopperdude is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 17
are so called second tier groups even though the are strong nationals still good organizations?
it is a shame that a chapter on a campus is not in the top what ever but is still strong nation wide and they have family who in that organization. we have gone through many changes over the years so things do change.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 01-04-2010, 01:59 PM
tld221 tld221 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: only the best city in the world
Posts: 6,273
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil View Post
From an NPHC perspective, prepping since birth happens and I think it is quite unfortunate.

It includes, but is not limited to, the lame "future XYZ" shirts that people are given at babyshowers. The "my mommy/daddy is an XYZ" shirts are only tolerable if they are on a child who is the opposite sex of the organization's membership. Telling kids "when you become an XYZ" is equally annoying.

I think it is fine to socialize kids around college educated and professional people who are also in GLOs. What's lame is surrounding your child by a particular GLO with hopes of shaping your child's decision making process. Give your child the information and let them know they have tons of sources of information and potential letters of rec should they decide to go that route. Don't bamboozle them into thinking that's THE route for them. Let them know they have support in whatever they decide.

I don't entertain future anything from children. I only entertain aspirant conversations--meaning, people who are collegiates or alum and qualify for membership. If you are under the age of 18, I don't care what you want to be. If you want to be in a sorority other than mine, don't expect me to try to speak negatively about that other sorority and persuade you to join mine when you FINALLY go to college. I had a child in the family try that with me over the holiday. LOL.
and it continues with decorating the child's room in organization colors/mascots, allowing the child to use the handsign in pics or doing the call in public, attending EVERY stepshow/conference/chapter meeting, threatening to not pay tuition if said child pledges something other than your org (or "brother/sister" org), joining the youth affiliate group and treating it like a little brother/sister club...

the list goes on.

i mean seriously. let the children have a mind (and affiliation) of their own. creating a legacy is awesome, but shouldnt be the rule.
__________________
Do you know people? Have you interacted with them? Because this is pretty standard no-brainer stuff. -33girl

Last edited by tld221; 01-04-2010 at 02:02 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 01-04-2010, 03:10 PM
Just interested Just interested is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 866
To answer TriDeltaSallie, from what I've seen over the years, and this is just my observation, many moms from my part of the world anyway, would prefer their daughter go Top Tier, over their own group even their own chapter. I have seen it too many times. They call it finding the best fit for their daughter. It is moving up the social ladder. They have seen to it that daughter went to right HS, the right summer camp and I hate to say this, even the right church. This is certainly not everyone but it is enough to be noticed by those of us who work on Reference Boards. It is an amazing thing to watch as an observer to positioning that takes place. This is going to be an interesting thread.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 01-04-2010, 03:12 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 14,505
On another note, people tend to discuss this as it pertains to sororities (not just because the people in this thread are in sororities) but such preparation also happens with many fraternity legacies. Maybe the connotation is different when it comes to fraternities and I think that might be a gendered double standard.

Last edited by DrPhil; 01-04-2010 at 03:17 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 01-04-2010, 04:50 PM
Low C Sharp Low C Sharp is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 660
Quote:
Like I said in my post, Mary Sue isn't coached and drilled on recruitment because it isn't neccessary. She knows (based on her social circle) where she'll end up and there's no need for these extensive preparations that we read about (e.g. hiring rush coaches, interview coaches, voraciously hunting down outfits, etc).
I might add that Mary Sue IS drilled and coached on the skills and rules that will serve her in recruitment...but from age 3 to age 15, not as a high school senior. No one is born knowing that you don't wear white shoes after Labor Day. Mary Sue's mama made sure she knew about that. School-aged Mary Sue went to dancing class and tea parties and cotillions where she had a chance to practice her social graces (and mama had a chance to whip her into shape if she made any mistakes). She IS groomed from birth, but for the life of the social elite in Anytown, not for rush per se.

The first few pages of a novel about Mary Sue, which Mary Sue wrote in her 50s and which you can read on Amazon, explain the process in detail:

http://www.amazon.com/Heartbreak-Hot...der_1416544909
________

Last edited by PenguinTrax; 07-09-2014 at 07:19 PM.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Small Chapter preparing for Recruitment AEcutiePhi Sorority Recruitment 4 06-18-2009 10:32 PM
preparing for rush a bit early LauGh A Lot Recruitment 12 11-08-2004 05:56 PM
BBC: Republicans preparing to disrupt voting? IowaStatePhiPsi News & Politics 16 10-28-2004 03:10 PM
preparing for formal recruitment! pinkangel Recruitment 6 12-02-2002 08:51 PM
Preparing Rush Booklets dgpparagon Recruitment 3 03-08-2002 12:33 PM



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:49 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.