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  #1  
Old 03-11-2017, 10:37 PM
undecided2404 undecided2404 is offline
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Should I drop out of my sorority before recruitment?

I joined a sorority a couple months ago, and I m not really happy with it, and haven t clicked with a lot of the girls. I chose this sorority for really crappy reasons. A friend of mine suicide bid there which definitely affected my decision, and I also picked it for shallow reasons like popularity and status. There was another sorority that I almost put first but I didn t because I really fit in and felt comfortable there but I felt like being me wasn t good enough. The day of bid day I knew I had made a mistake. But I stayed with it to see if it got better and I still am undecided. Is dropping the right choice? Or should I stay and hope that things get better?

Edit: I meant to say before initiation not recruitment!!

Last edited by undecided2404; 03-12-2017 at 11:10 AM.
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  #2  
Old 03-11-2017, 11:00 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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If you are initiated you can not join another sorority. Ever. If that is the case, try to find some things to love about your chapter. Join a committee within your chapter to get to know different sisters.

If you have not been initiated yet, now would be the time to resign, so that you could rerush.
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  #3  
Old 03-12-2017, 01:43 AM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by undecided2404 View Post
Should I drop out of my sorority before recruitment?

I joined a sorority a couple months ago, and I m not really happy with it, and haven t clicked with a lot of the girls. I chose this sorority for really crappy reasons. A friend of mine suicide bid there which definitely affected my decision, and I also picked it for shallow reasons like popularity and status. There was another sorority that I almost put first but I didn t because I really fit in and felt comfortable there but I felt like being me wasn t good enough. The day of bid day I knew I had made a mistake. But I stayed with it to see if it got better and I still am undecided. Is dropping the right choice? Or should I stay and hope that things get better?

I don't understand what recruitment has to do with whether or not you remain in your organization?
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  #4  
Old 03-12-2017, 11:11 AM
undecided2404 undecided2404 is offline
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I meant to say initiation not recruitment sorry!!
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  #5  
Old 03-12-2017, 12:11 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Well that makes more sense.

You said you haven't clicked w/ a lot of the girls, which leads me to think there are girls you HAVE clicked with. You are not going to be BFFs with every single person in your chapter, whether your chapter is 15 or 500, and there are going to be some who get on your last nerve at some point over your sorority career, unless you have the personality and emotions of a piece of paper.

There are lots of people out there who pick their sorority for kinda shallow reasons. It doesn't mean you can't end up having a wonderful experience. (That is life in general, btw)

Sit down and write out a pros and cons list (everything that pops into your mind, no matter how small). It's always helpful to see it written out. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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  #6  
Old 03-12-2017, 02:21 PM
craigrx craigrx is offline
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Do most sororities have a "gentleman's agreement" that they will not initiate someone who used to be a full member of another sorority even if they were expelled?
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  #7  
Old 03-12-2017, 02:30 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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NPC sororities do have that agreement, yes. But that has nothing to do with this thread. The OP hasn't been initiated or expelled.
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  #8  
Old 03-12-2017, 03:47 PM
craigrx craigrx is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
NPC sororities do have that agreement, yes. But that has nothing to do with this thread. The OP hasn't been initiated or expelled.
I was responding to this quote

Quote:
If you are initiated you can not join another sorority. Ever. If that is the case, try to find some things to love about your chapter. Join a committee within your chapter to get to know different sisters.

If you have not been initiated yet, now would be the time to resign, so that you could rerush.
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  #9  
Old 03-12-2017, 04:26 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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The OP clarified that she meant to say "initiation" and not "recruitment" when she titled her post. The first paragraph in the post you are quoting was written before the OP clarified.
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  #10  
Old 03-12-2017, 04:49 PM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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Originally Posted by craigrx View Post
Do most sororities have a "gentleman's agreement" that they will not initiate someone who used to be a full member of another sorority even if they were expelled?
It's not a gentleman's agreement. It is in a formal, written agreement called The Unanimous Agreements. Item III The Panhellenic Compact states:

A woman who is or who has ever been an initiated member of an existing NPC fraternity shall not be eligible for membership in another NPC fraternity.
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  #11  
Old 03-12-2017, 04:52 PM
craigrx craigrx is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Titchou View Post
It's not a gentleman's agreement. It is in a formal, written agreement called The Unanimous Agreements. Item III The Panhellenic Compact states:

A woman who is or who has ever been an initiated member of an existing NPC fraternity shall not be eligible for membership in another NPC fraternity.
Thanks for the clarification.
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  #12  
Old 03-12-2017, 08:42 PM
undecided2404 undecided2404 is offline
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I'm just worried cause there's still a real chance I could be in the other sorority that I didn't pick for bad reasons (I have a lot of friends in it) but if I go through initiation at the sorority I'm currently pledging and drop after I wouldn't be able to rush next year... I'm just worried if I stay already feeling unhappy and a year from now I feel the same and end up dropping then I'll be left with nothing. I guess my gut is telling me to drop but I feel paralyzed by the fear that dropping is a mistake and that I'll regret it.
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  #13  
Old 03-12-2017, 08:51 PM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by undecided2404 View Post
I'm just worried cause there's still a real chance I could be in the other sorority that I didn't pick for bad reasons (I have a lot of friends in it) but if I go through initiation at the sorority I'm currently pledging and drop after I wouldn't be able to rush next year... I'm just worried if I stay already feeling unhappy and a year from now I feel the same and end up dropping then I'll be left with nothing. I guess my gut is telling me to drop but I feel paralyzed by the fear that dropping is a mistake and that I'll regret it.
You ultimately need to ask yourself why you're not happy in your current sorority. If it's because you're not "clicking" with other members, have you tried to reach out and hang out with them? Have you attended all events and attempted to connect? How many members are there in your chapter? If you're not in a smaller chapter (less than 30 members), I'd find it hard to believe that you can't connect with anyone.

Are you only looking to the other chapter as the answer because you already have friends there and it will be "easy" for you?

You don't have to be sorority sisters with your bffs.

You need to seriously weigh your options. Because if you drop and go through recruitment again, there's no guarantee that you'll get a bid to the other chapter.
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  #14  
Old 03-12-2017, 08:51 PM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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OK, here's the deal. If you drop, you can go thru next formal recruitment. However, there is no guarantee you will get a bid to any group. So, what you need to decide is if staying in the current group is better or worse than belonging to no group...because that very well could happen. You have no guarantees. Just trying to shoot straight with you.
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  #15  
Old 03-12-2017, 08:54 PM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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Also consider the fact that in May, there will be sisters graduating, and next school year you'll have more new members pouring in. Perhaps the chapter will turn over a bit and you'll find that you make some forever friends.

It's a gamble either way, and only you can make the decision to stay or leave.
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