Can one girl ruin a new sororities reputation?

[shirellestar]

Hi Everyone! So me and my roommate are both in sororities and we got in a small little argument about sorority reputations. My sorority is new on campus (We just colonized last week) and so far the reception from the rest of the Greek community has been great. Everyone's been so helpful and nice to us. Well, there's one girl in my sorority that has a really bad reputation. She does just about everything that is looked down upon and has been kicked out of numerous fraternity parties. A lot of the girls in the colony don't want to associate with her and are hoping that she gets kicked out ASAP.

Now, my roommate told me that she is gonna give our a sorority a bad reputation and that we are gonna be known as a bunch of sluts and drunks like she is. I am the total opposite of that and I tried to argue that since pretty much no one in my sorority even wants to associate with her, that the only reputation she's ruining is her own. I told her that it takes more then one bad girl to ruin the entire sorority, especially since we're so new on campus. Also, it's not like we picked her to be in our sorority in the first place. Technically, we were all just randomly thrown together.

Anyway, basic question: Can one girl ruin an entire new Sororities reputation all by herself?

[TPA85]

Yup.
There is a girl who was a collegian member of another org the same time I was a collegian. She was so active in the chapter that she was always associated with the org. The problem was that she was also kind of a personal trainwreck. Even sadder is that we've been out of college for 5 years and she hasn't changed one bit. People still see her as a member of her sorority (even when she posted a picture of her sister driving WHILE chugging a beer) and the chapter paid for it.

[excelblue]

Yep -- people on the outside will associate the actions of any member (or even imposter) with the organization. It's like how if you receive bad service at a restaurant, you blame it on the restaurant instead of just the individual waiter/waitress.

Accountability is very important in the overall health of an organization, so if there's a member who's not living up to your organization's standards, the issue better be addressed before the damage spirals out of control.

Do you have some sort of colony adviser? Have you spoken with her?

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by shirellestar

Hi Everyone! So me and my roommate are both in sororities and we got in a small little argument about sorority reputations. My sorority is new on campus (We just colonized last week) and so far the reception from the rest of the Greek community has been great. Everyone's been so helpful and nice to us. Well, there's one girl in my sorority that has a really bad reputation. She does just about everything that is looked down upon and has been kicked out of numerous fraternity parties. A lot of the girls in the colony don't want to associate with her and are hoping that she gets kicked out ASAP.

Now, my roommate told me that she is gonna give our a sorority a bad reputation and that we are gonna be known as a bunch of sluts and drunks like she is. I am the total opposite of that and I tried to argue that since pretty much no one in my sorority even wants to associate with her, that the only reputation she's ruining is her own. I told her that it takes more then one bad girl to ruin the entire sorority, especially since we're so new on campus. Also, it's not like we picked her to be in our sorority in the first place. Technically, we were all just randomly thrown together.

Anyway, basic question: Can one girl ruin an entire new Sororities reputation all by herself?

You know what else is looked down upon? Airing dirty laundry and publicly calling a future sister a slut and a drunk.

Take care of this internally.

[LouisaMay]

One member can influence public opinion, sure. But don't you think dozens of strong, intelligent women who possess qualities that were obviously admired and desired by the colonization team can influence one woman?

Instead of refusing to associate with this troubled new member, embrace her. Show her some love. Lead by example. Help her to be too busy with building friendships, finding her niche, and making good grades to have time for making trouble with the fraternities. I have often thought that some women are selected for membership based upon what they can give to the chapter and the organization at large, but some women should be brought into the sisterhood for what the chapter can give to them. You are new to Greek life, but many, many women will attest that the sorority experience made them better people. The structure and the support brought out the best in them.

In this case, I would advise you to set aside your concerns about reputation and remember why you are there--to form meaningful relationships among women. Despite the differences among GLOs, every sorority was build--to some extent--on that very concept. Consider talking to an advisor. I hope that you or someone associated with the standards process can speak to this woman with compassion and help her to find her way. She sounds a little lost.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

You know what else is looked down upon? Airing dirty laundry and publicly calling a future sister a slut and a drunk.

Take care of this internally.

+1

The answer to this question is obvious. If you have to ask, it only serves to demonstrate how clueless you are. If you are that clueless on any subject, you need to talk to your advisers before you go posting your problems online. Go handle your business.

You have no idea as to the lengths some will go to on GC to out you. You stated you colonized last week. How many chapters do you think colonized last week? Not too many I'd imagine.

[FSUZeta]

If you were a little farther along in your colonization process and officers had been chosen and committees had been formed, she could be brought before the judicial/standard board and one outcome might be termination of her membership.

Talk to the young women from your national office who are working with your colony-in ZTA they are called TLCs-traveling leadership consultants-(I don't know what sorority you are in, so cannot say what they are called in your sorority)and have other concerned members talk to them too. They are there to guide you and teach you how things are done in your sorority.

I promise that your colony is not the only colony to have this problem (and I would be willing to bet that sororities on your campus have also had to deal with it).

[Kevin]

I want to add that this sort of behavior must be nipped in the bud. When you bring in your first class of new members, they will emulate the behavior of your actives. If you have actives who make poor examples of themselves, this problem will only multiply.

Members like this are a cancer. You either have to fix them or get rid of them in short order or they will spread.

It's painful in the short term, but in the long term, you'll be better off.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by LouisaMay

One member can influence public opinion, sure. But don't you think dozens of strong, intelligent women who possess qualities that were obviously admired and desired by the colonization team can influence one woman?

Instead of refusing to associate with this troubled new member, embrace her. Show her some love. Lead by example. Help her to be too busy with building friendships, finding her niche, and making good grades to have time for making trouble with the fraternities. I have often thought that some women are selected for membership based upon what they can give to the chapter and the organization at large, but some women should be brought into the sisterhood for what the chapter can give to them. You are new to Greek life, but many, many women will attest that the sorority experience made them better people. The structure and the support brought out the best in them.

In this case, I would advise you to set aside your concerns about reputation and remember why you are there--to form meaningful relationships among women. Despite the differences among GLOs, every sorority was build--to some extent--on that very concept. Consider talking to an advisor. I hope that you or someone associated with the standards process can speak to this woman with compassion and help her to find her way. She sounds a little lost.

I agree with this. If the sorority adviser/support staff have no idea about this girl, they don't know to sit her down and chat about her behavior and she won't change. Given a chance, she might. EVERY chapter has a wild child, so expecting everyone to be a church mouse isn't reasonable and holding her past against her isn't either. If she continues to behave in the manner described after being warned by the powers that be, then there are likely procedures to deal with her. The key, however, is to let the advisers know the colony's concerns.

[33girl]

People like this usually get weeded out of colonies well before chartering (like when they realize how much work it is). I wouldnt worry about it. If your campus (or your "friend") would honestly condemn and stereotype a new colony after one week, THAT is the real problem on your hands.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by shirellestar

Also, it's not like we picked her to be in our sorority in the first place. Technically, we were all just randomly thrown together.

Since you have already posted very specifically where you go to school and what organization this is, you have really done damage with your posts here. You are immediately identifiable to anyone on your campus, advisors, and sorority sisters.

If you think that the women in your organization were "just randomly thrown together" then you have a LOT to learn. Colony members are chosen carefully. You are the foundation upon which this organization is building a whole new chapter. Treat your sisters as the special girls that they are, not just "randoms" off the street.

You certainly have advisors working closely with the chapter. Go to them with your concerns and keep your hands OFF the keyboard.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by shirellestar

Also, it's not like we picked her to be in our sorority in the first place. Technically, we were all just randomly thrown together.

Oh, wow. Just, WOW.

I think I see clearly what is going on here.

And I give a +1 to Leslie Anne, Kevin, AOII Angel, oh - to EVERYONE who's posted sage advice on this thread.

OP every sorority has challenges and issues. Handle them internally.

Sheesh. Why do people spill everything on the internet to complete strangers? Not just collegiates, but mommys (and the occasional daddy as well). Holy COW. Shut UP already.

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

Oh, wow. Just, WOW.

I think I see clearly what is going on here.

And I give a +1 to Leslie Anne, Kevin, AOII Angel, oh - to EVERYONE who's posted sage advice on this thread.

OP every sorority has challenges and issues. Handle them internally.

Sheesh. Why do people spill everything on the internet to complete strangers? Not just collegiates, but mommys (and the occasional daddy as well). Holy COW. Shut UP already.

Like!

[shirellestar]

I'm sorry about all this. I just feel really bad. I'm not gonna lie that when my roommate said "the drunk sluts" comment it got me a little and made me mad. I agree with LouisaMay that we should try to help her with her problems instead of condemning her. I really do love my new sorority and I just want us to get off on the right start. I know that not everyone in the chapter are gonna be "complete angels" but I couldn't help but be a little worried. I posted on this board to settle an argument with my roommate, not to talk down about my own sorority. I'm really sorry if I offended anyone reading this

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by shirellestar

I posted on this board to settle an argument with my roommate, not to talk down about my own sorority. I'm really sorry if I offended anyone reading this

Then consider this a lesson that wanting to settle an argument with your roommate is never a valid excuse for airing your sorority's laundry in public.

And it's not anyone reading this thread who is owed an apology -- unless some of your fellow colony members are reading this thread.