"Dropping" a girlfriend with fraternity letters

[AOX81]

My husband lavaliered me a month and a half before he asked me to marry him

[Hootie]

Back in the day, I believe the men would actually give their pins instead of "dropping" a girl his letters (lavaleir). I believe that's what my father did to my mother (sigh).
I guess in a way it's (dropping) kinda like a promise ring...only in a guy's eyes, more serious!
Good Luck and definately consult a brother on the proper proceedure!
Hootie

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What do you get when you cross and Alpha Omicron Pi and a Sigma Phi Epsilon? A beautiful Chi Omega!!!

[KSig RC]

Lavaliering is very, very serious for us - it's essentially a sign that you want to marry, not quite engagement but you all know what i mean. anyway - it's very rarely done while still in college, and it's a pretty huge deal, at our chapter, for all involved. Then there's the dreaded 'Curse of the Lavalier' . . . but that's for another time maybe

[shu_gurl]

A sister of mine is engaged to a frat guy and he skipped the whole "dropping" thing so I don't think that it is that big of a deal anymore

[KSigkid]

Originally posted by shu_gurl
A sister of mine is engaged to a frat guy and he skipped the whole "dropping" thing so I don't think that it is that big of a deal anymore

This is an old thread, but I think it still happens. Depending on where you go to school, you can either "drop" the girl or pin her. In my chpater, lavaliering (dropping) was the big thing, since most of us didn't have badges.

I didn't "drop" my college girlfriend, but I had my own reasons. I figured if I was that serious, I'd eventually propose (which is what I did).

[PhoenixAzul]

I know my brother's Phi Tau chapter usually goes and serenades the prospective girl...the guys get all dressed up (badge and tie and what have you) and troop over to the girls place to sing to her.

However, my brother bucked the trend. He and a brother were asked to be santa/elves for his GF's sorority christmas party. The other brother had lavaliered a girl in this same sorority, and the girl had 2 separate lavaliers. So my brother asked him to get the extra lavalier on his way over to the house. So PhoenixBrother plays santa that night, asks each girl what they'd like for christmas and passes out little gifts, and his girlfriend was last. He asked her what she wanted and she told him something practical...then he pulled out the lavalier and said, "well, will this be OK too?" and put the necklace on her! Cue a room full of Alpha Xi's going absolutely nuts. My dad was ticked that he didn't have his own lavalier to give her, but I don't think she cared!! (for the record, he did eventually give her her own). I just thought this was super super cute.

At Otterbein, "dropping" RARELY freaking happens. Honestly, I can't think of a single person in 3 years of Greek life who has been dropped or pinned, and neither can any of our alumni. The groups take letters very very seriously and are unbelievably protective of them.

And another thing, girls at Otterbein usually wear lavaliers of their own letters (vertical drop style). I get asked all the time if they are my boyfriend's letters! No, they're MINE thank you very much!

[KatieKate1244]

I know a couple of people who have been "dropped" or pinned, but it isn't a real big deal on my campus. It's a cute tradition, though.

[Greekopedia]

the idea of "dropping" boggles me. In my fraternity, allowing ANYONE, guy or girl, to wear our letters would be blasphemous.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by Greekopedia
the idea of "dropping" boggles me. In my fraternity, allowing ANYONE, guy or girl, to wear our letters would be blasphemous.

I think you'll find that varies from GLO to GLO, and from campus to campus. When I was in school, my then-bf gave me a lettered shirt, then his pin (he was too cheap for a lavalier!), both of which I returned when we broke up.

A couple of the sisters of my chapter are currently lavaliered, which seems to be a bigger deal than it was when I was in school.

[KSigkid]

Originally posted by Greekopedia
the idea of "dropping" boggles me. In my fraternity, allowing ANYONE, guy or girl, to wear our letters would be blasphemous.

That's the major reason I never "dropped" my wife. Also, she's an Alpha Phi and has her own letters. There was no need for me to give her mine.

[PhrozenGod01]

Yeah... I know for a fact that lavaliering a girlfriend or fiance' would be looked down upon by most NPHC orgs across the country. And I don't blame them. I earned those letters... NOT MY GIRLFRIEND. And like it was hinted at before, if there is a bad break-up, the ex might keep a few items... use them for some kind of evil ransom. I don't know. Actually, I did read that Iotas' wives had some special exemptions as far as pari goes, and that the Zetas and Sigmas are bound constitutionally; but I don't think I've seen too many letter swaps or drops, or whatever there called. I guess I wouldn't talk so much crap about it if it were a replacement for an actual engagement ring or something. I'm out.

[tcsparky]

When I was in school (late 80s) dropping happened on my campus. It was taken very seriously. The couple were considered to be almost engaged if he had given her his lavalier. The most popular style was with a pearl or a diamond on the drop. We usually then started looking for an engagement ring on her finger!!

Typically, if a guy had given a girl his lavalier, she would reciprocate with hers.

[ECUJacob]

I can't say that my chapter has ever had a lavaleir given away to a g/f, but I'm sure it happens on our campus and all over the country.

Do any Betas do this?

[ZTADanielle]

I know we've had a couple ceremonies where girls have been dropped... the guy gives it to an Alumnae who also participates and just about everyone knows but the girl being dropped until the moment it happens... i've had some wine tonight, hope this all makes sense.

[KDMafia]

We didn't call it "dropping" at my school, but lavaliering happened a decent amount. How serious is was seemed to be based on what the individual house felt. I know the Phi Psi's pinned because that was viewed as less serious than the lavaliering. We didn't have very many traditions. When my fiance lavaliered me with his sig ep letters we were alone in his apartment. I also would have killed him if he would have made a big public spectacle out of it. I reciporcated. The only real drama that happened was when guys that were in a really volatile relationship would do it or if girls would give guys their letters first. That was looked down on slightly on our campus since some people interpreted it as trying to force a guy to lavalier you.