What should I do?

[Rudey]

Originally posted by blueangel
Rudy:

You can't "always do alumnae initiation"--- it's VERY difficult. It took me three years, and I had already pledged ZTA in college. Women without any ties have an even more difficult time of it. It's still quite rare, and extremely hard to do.

I like to encourage, not discourage.

-Rudey

[kddani]

Originally posted by blueangel
Rudy:

You can't "always do alumnae initiation"--- it's VERY difficult. It took me three years, and I had already pledged ZTA in college. Women without any ties have an even more difficult time of it. It's still quite rare, and extremely hard to do.

I think Rudey may have been slightly sarcastic. There's an epidemic around here of people who LOVE to tell people, don't worry, you can always AI, when they don't have a successful rush, etc. And many of us know it's not as simply as that and abhor that it's just tossed out as an easy alternative.

[blueangel]

Gotcha! Thanks Kddani!

[Indie_Superstar]

Originally posted by alphaalpha
[B]I have heard of people gettingcut cause they are involved with too many outside activities, which sounds like you are. B]

She's right. That's what happened to me........I mean, I wasn't too upset about it, because I always knew that joining a sorority wasn't the be all end all of life, and I had TONS of other activities to keep me busy and happy (which they DID, I mean, there are times when it feels like I'm ALWAYS running around, lol), but AlphaAlpha brings up a valid point when she says that it's a good idea to pick and choose what activities you want to do, what clubs you want to be in, etc. This year especially, I sort of tried to do everything (on top of taking WAAAY too many classes), and I kinda burned myself out. But anyway, Singer, you sound like an awesome girl, and I definitely wish you luck in this endeavour.

[alphaalpha]

I think a lot of people, their first year of school, to get way too invovled. I did it. There are all these exciting things and people that it is just way too exciting to have to say NO to something that sounds fun.

Anyway, to the original poster. I really wish you the best of luck and hope that you will keep us informed of what happens to you.
debbie

[FSUZeta]

with a 3.9 gpa and numerous activities, you have proven that you know how to manage your time. congratulations on a job well done!! my best advice echoes that of other posters-get to know greek women in your classes and let them know ,discreetly, that you are considering participating in recruitment next year. let them get to know you as a person, not just a pnm, so that you might have an edge during recruitment. good luck and please let us know how it all turns out.

[xoheatherxo]

i think its great that you want to rush, but dont drop all of your other activities in order to do so. we were encouraged to be in other organizations when we were actives so that we could become well rounded. of all of the activities that you did this year, pick the ones that you liked the most to stay in. definetely talk to greeks on campus and get to know some of them. and about the double major--its a lot of work, but scholarship is a big part of most greek organizations!! schoolwork came first all the time in mine anyways...thats the main reason youre at school!! good luck and keep us updated!! if you really want it, youll find the time to do it all!!

[KSUViolet06]

I would certainly hate to be downer, but you have ALOT on your plate there. SAI, APO, 3 jobs, PRE-MED and a double major is a WHOLE lot. Seriously, I know we're all trying to be typical GC with the flowers and sunshine but let's be real for a second. I'm not saying you shouldn't rush, but depending on how competitive your rush is, do keep in mind that you may, in fact, be cut based on your busy schedule. There will be SOME chapters who will figure that you won't be very active if they keep you or that you wont stick around.

Even if that isn't the case where you are, I'd definitely REALLY sit down and think over whether you HONESTLY have the tme to put into a sorority, or if you'll just be one of those members who isn't really active and just shows up whenever it fits her schedule. As anyone here on GC can probably attest, our organizations are a significant time commitment.

Your new member period will be SUPER busy. Some weeks, you'll have something to do EVERY night! You may find you have time for it NOW, but after rush, you may be freaking out with hte amount of things you have on your plate. Again, not trying to be a downer, just something to think about.

[kddani]

Originally posted by JocelynC
I would certainly hate to be downer, but you have ALOT on your plate there. SAI, APO, 3 jobs, and a double major is a WHOLE lot. I'm not saying you shouldn't rush, but depending on how competitive your rush is, do keep in mind that you may, in fact, be cut based on your busy schedule. There will be SOME chapters who will figure that you won't be very active if they keep you or that you wont stick around.

I would have to agree, especially with SAI and APO being greek groups. I do wonder if that may be why I was cut from a few houses. I rushed my sophomore year and was already involved in several high profile, high responsibility groups and was an officer in one of them.

If you REALLY want to go greek you're going to have to cut things. 3 jobs, 2 other greek groups, and all of those activities plus a double major (wanting to be pre med? lol, good luck, years of Ochem and all that fun await, JD/MD/PhD- you're going to be in school for the rest of your life, lol), you're putting yourself in line to take a trip to the looney bin, or give yourself a heart attack or ulcer.

But then again, if you drop your involvement with some groups because "something better came along" (i.e. a sorority) that may reflect poorly on you to some people,.

Being greek, especially a new member is a HUGE time commitment, and you really don't realize how much until you're actually doing it.

[XOMichelle]

Hey there hon-

I don't know about other sororities, but Chi O has a national rule that you must be involved in at least 2 other outside groups to maintain good standing. So, this stuff about being too busy... ignore it. You know your schedule, and you can take on whatever you think is right for you. I was premed in school and involved in a number of different activities-- I went abroad, I volunteered outside of Chi O for 4 years, held multiple on campus jobs—all sorts of stuff, and I was on exec my sophomore year. Getting to know people is the best advice I can see… other than that, have fun and be yourself! Good luck to you and finding a home

-M

ps- and I'm going to USC med school in the fall. :-)

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by XOMichelle
Hey there hon-

I don't know about other sororities, but Chi O has a national rule that you must be involved in at least 2 other outside groups to maintain good standing. So, this stuff about being too busy... ignore it. -M

Let me clarify. It's one thing to do alot of jobs on campus, but THREE fraternal groups I think would put quite a strain on her time. It COULD be done, I just don't think she'd be able to be FULLY active in ALL three.

[Darlinglilred]

Originally posted by XOMichelle
Hey there hon-

I don't know about other sororities, but Chi O has a national rule that you must be involved in at least 2 other outside groups to maintain good standing. So, this stuff about being too busy... ignore it. You know your schedule, and you can take on whatever you think is right for you. I was premed in school and involved in a number of different activities-- I went abroad, I volunteered outside of Chi O for 4 years, held multiple on campus jobs—all sorts of stuff, and I was on exec my sophomore year. Getting to know people is the best advice I can see… other than that, have fun and be yourself! Good luck to you and finding a home

-M

ps- and I'm going to USC med school in the fall. :-)

I cosign!! Phi Sig also requires membership in two other outside groups and if you get to know some of the social greeks they will know your time management skills and whether or not you will be able to handle the new member experience. Bottom line is you will not know unless you try, personally I would be proud to have a sister who obviously has excellent time management skills and high ambition.

edited to say: I was a member of another fraternal organization as well as a non-greek letter society when I went through recruitment.

[kddani]

Originally posted by Darlinglilred
I cosign!! Phi Sig also requires membership in two other outside groups and if you get to know some of the social greeks they will know your time management skills and whether or not you will be able to handle the new member experience. Bottom line is you will not know unless you try, personally I would be proud to have a sister who obviously has excellent time management skills and high ambition.

Unfortunately, a lot of those girls go through rush, join a group, then become the sister that shows up for and does the bare minimum.

I don't doubt that she COULD do it, whether she SHOULD do it is the question. Her own mental health is at risk. There's also a question of whether or not it would be worth it. When you're doing SO many activities, are you really getting that much out of any of them?

I'm speaking as a voice of experience here... I was involved in a bazillion things and when I look back I would've done a lot differently.

No one truly understand the demands of being a new member or being a sister until they do it. Which means she could join a house, then end up dropping b/c she didn't have enough time, and that's a spot that could've gone to another girl who would put time and energy into it.

I guess i'm just being my typical self in refusing to blow sunshine up a PNM's butt Reality is reality, whether or not anyone likes to see it, it's still there.

This is something she should think carefully about.

What is missing in her life that a sorority could fill in that she's not getting from her other activities? What are those other activities giving her? When you have that much going on, plus school and work, you need to really prioritize and think about whether or not something's worth it before you commit yourself to it.

On another note, I wouldn't tell anyone "not to listen" to other people's posts on here. We all have very different experiences and advice to offer, and I wouldn't dare tell someone to ignore the words of others (okay, with the exception of if the person is being a total jackass). Because while something said may not be true of your experience, it may be relevant to other's. I don't think it's right to totally discount earnest advice

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by kddani


On another note, I wouldn't tell anyone "not to listen" to other people's posts on here. We all have very different experiences and advice to offer, and I wouldn't dare tell someone to ignore the words of others (okay, with the exception of if the person is being a total jackass). Because while something said may not be true of your experience, it may be relevant to other's. I don't think it's right to totally discount earnest advice

Cosign. I'm not trying to a downer like I said. I'm just trying to get her to view things from a different perspective, like playing devil's advocate. The other points need to be considered. Everything on GC is not "Rah Rah yay lets go!" Be real, how active can you REALLY be in SAI, APO, and a sorority with a double major and 3 jobs?! Something is bound to slip through the cracks, if you will.

[MUGreek06]

I would like to beg to differ, and say that it is possible to be involved in SAI, APO, a social sorority, be a double-major premed, and hold a job. I am extremely active in my sorority (I'm VP Intellect) and with Panhellenic stuff, and I'll be a Rho Gamma (or what every your campus calls them) next year.. I'm president of Order of Omega. I have held a leadership position in APO (secretary). I have been involved with other professional organizations on campus (I'll be treasurer of ACS in the fall). I am in several honorary organizations (Sigma Zeta, Alpha Epsilon Delta, Alpha Lambda Delta, Phi Kappa Phi). I am a double major- music and chemistry- as well as being premed. Usually I work 2 jobs, totaling around 15 hours a week (because I'm not work study, I can't get an on-campus job that I can work more than 7 hours a week at). Do I have to make choices? Sure. Does that mean that I am any less dedicated or any less of a sister to my sorority? No. The only semester I have not been around for as much was during the semester I took the MCAT. That semester, I was the girl who did the bare minimum. However, the only reason was because I was taking the MCAT (which I personally feel is a good reason because the best way to describe going through that is that it was hell and I'm so thankful that I had my sisters there to support me and understand what I was trying to do), not because I had overextended myself.

I feel like I'm bragging about the stuff I do, which isn't the point. The point is that it can be done. I went through formal recruitment as a sophomore, while being involved in almost all of these organizations. On my campus, girls who are involved are generally the ones who are the "most wanted." I got a bid to my first choice. Regardless, instead of saying that it can't be done at all, we need to make sure this PNM is aware of realities on certain campuses.

ps. congrats to xomichelle for her acceptance and decision on med school!