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  #1  
Old 06-15-2006, 10:21 AM
SockPuppet3 SockPuppet3 is offline
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Difficult question

I'm needing a little advice, so please share your thoughts if you don't mind.

This will be my first formal recruitment, so even in the best of circumstances I'd still have some questions. But, my sorority is struggling with how to deal with recent graduates wanting to help... excessively... during recruitment this year. There is a rather large group of women who, despite the fact that they have graduated, are having a hard time wanting to let the chapter do things differently than how things had previously always been done. They've invited themselves to our summer workshops, and want to have their fingers in the pot constantly.

Now, I realize alums can be a great source of help. But, how do you tell recent graduates that you'd prefer to let the chapter run things differently now? Has anyone been through this type of situation? We're just not sure we know how to tell them that while we'd like some assistance, we'd rather make the big decisions on our own.

Please help! All suggestions are welcome.
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  #2  
Old 06-15-2006, 10:36 AM
sigmadiva sigmadiva is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SockPuppet3
I'm needing a little advice, so please share your thoughts if you don't mind.

This will be my first formal recruitment, so even in the best of circumstances I'd still have some questions. But, my sorority is struggling with how to deal with recent graduates wanting to help... excessively... during recruitment this year. There is a rather large group of women who, despite the fact that they have graduated, are having a hard time wanting to let the chapter do things differently than how things had previously always been done. They've invited themselves to our summer workshops, and want to have their fingers in the pot constantly.

Now, I realize alums can be a great source of help. But, how do you tell recent graduates that you'd prefer to let the chapter run things differently now? Has anyone been through this type of situation? We're just not sure we know how to tell them that while we'd like some assistance, we'd rather make the big decisions on our own.

Please help! All suggestions are welcome.
I had a similar problem. The issue was just like you said, recent graduates who still wanted to run the chapter like they were in it. But, to make my situation a bit more complex, I was the advisor of the chapter at the time.

It took several meetings with those involved to explain to them that while their enthusiasm is great, their input was no longer needed to that extent. These meetings involved myself and the sponsoring alumane chapter president.

My advice, don't try to handle these women on your own, or even as a chapter. Since these women have graduated, they will feel that they know more than you. Get your advisor and / or regional director involved. Let them handle it.
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  #3  
Old 06-15-2006, 10:39 AM
ASUADPi ASUADPi is offline
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My suggestion is that y'all need to discuss this with your recruitment and chapter advisors.

The thing is though, with it being summer, it might be a bit difficult. But, if there are a lot of sister in town and your advisors are in town I would suggest arranging a meeting.

Your advisors are the ones who have to be the "big bad" and tell the alums, "yes, we would love your help with formal recruitment, but only in this capacity".

Then the advisors, and possibly your exec board, have to stand firm when alums show up and start demanding things or demanding to help and it's not in the capacity that they were told.
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  #4  
Old 06-15-2006, 07:20 PM
SmartBlondeGPhB SmartBlondeGPhB is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sigmadiva
My advice, don't try to handle these women on your own, or even as a chapter. Since these women have graduated, they will feel that they know more than you. Get your advisor and / or regional director involved. Let them handle it.
My thought as well. That's what they are there for.
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  #5  
Old 06-15-2006, 08:07 PM
flirt5721 flirt5721 is offline
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Does your national bylaws say anything that can help you out with this situation? Or something about how active alum can be. I know that we have to get a formal invitation from the exec. council to attend a function or something if you are alum.

But most importantly talk with the chapter advisor and have her deal with the recent grads.
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  #6  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:10 AM
SockPuppet3 SockPuppet3 is offline
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That's another problem, and , in my opinion, one that has led to the recent graduates feeling like they have so much ownership in the chapter. Our advisor is pretty much an advisor in name only. She never attends events, meetings, and rarely even returns phone calls or emails from sisters. Due to her lack of involvement, our chapter has had to learn to manage on our own. So, our recent graduates feel like they are the ones in control. I can see why. I mean, they have been the ones in control for the past couple years. So naturally, they want to keep it. I guess I should look into getting help from our regional/national people. But, I don't want to get a ball rolling that could end up hurting our chapter. And I'm afraid that's what contacting higher-ups would do.

Ugh. This really isn't fun.
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  #7  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:17 AM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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I guess the decision to be made then is, what's more important...having help from your recent alums, or running the chapter the way you guys want it run. I think that it's time to call in regional/national help. Otherwise, you're going to end up recruiting the same kind of women that you are trying NOT to get.
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  #8  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:18 AM
adpiucf adpiucf is offline
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Contact your regional director. If your adviser is not doing her job, then you need a new adviser.

A regional director, adviser or the alumnae association can address this issue with the recent alum who are trying to assert control.

Your chapter can also write a letter that thanks them for their support, asks for recruitment assistance (donations, volunteers) invites them to an open house before recruitment and reminds them in a tactful way that their place is with the alumnae. Something along the lines of "We're planning a number of collegiate-alumnae mixers this year so that you can get to know our new members! While we would love to see our alumnae sisters during these times, we kindly ask for your cooperation as we manage the day-to-day operations of our chapter. In doing so, we respectfully request that alumnae attend chapter functions and meetings only at the invitation of the chapter executive board. We do appreciate your support and thank you for entrusting us with your legacy."

Sometimes, you just have to spell it out. There will be some grumblings, but they'll get the hint. We had to do this a few years back when alumnae started showing up at recruitment to help out. The chapter sent an email around saying that while we appreciated all of the offers to help, we were running into some logistical issues that risked impairing our recruitment efforts due to the alumnae! The last thing the alum wanted to do was hurt recruitment. They backed off and the chapter set a rule that you had to be a dues-paying member of the local alumnae association just to volunteer and then be approved by the recruitment team. Then again, our chapter has always had a rule that alumnae may attend chapter meetings, etc., by invitiation only (exec board, not Susie Q. member).
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  #9  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:19 AM
WhiteDaisy128 WhiteDaisy128 is offline
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  #10  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:21 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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We had the in name only advisor too, but it still didn't make the alums come back and try to run rush. I don't think that is the problem. The problem is that the alums need to let go and move on, and that's something they have to find out for themselves. (Yipes, I sound like Glinda the good witch)

Are they actually coming to parties and such? If so, make Panhel the bad guy and say the other sororities are complaining about all the "extra help" you're gettting. Even if they're not coming to parties, you can try that - say the school has said it's a risk management issue because they're no longer students and not insured or something.
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  #11  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:26 AM
flirt5721 flirt5721 is offline
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How about talking to your President and Membership VP. Since it is recruitment the MVP should be allowed to make tell them that they need to step back a little. And the President should have a final say in the thing. Its really great that they want to help out but it is know YOUR chapter. They helped maintain it while they were there but it is now time for change and to start doing things they way the Active members want to do things. Kind of the way we do it at my chapter is that we take a chapter vote on an issue with Alum, then the President or some one from exec. talks to the Alum or sends them a letter.

If your Chapter Advisor is never around or doing her job, call your Nationals and tell so that you may get a better advisor that is actually willing to do the job of a Chapter Advisor.
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  #12  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:28 AM
SockPuppet3 SockPuppet3 is offline
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33girl,

Since rush hasn't started, I don't know if they'll come to the parties or not. It sure seems like they're planning to. Right now, our problem is that they're planning to come to our summer workshops. We're afraid they'll be like, "Don't do THAT skit, do this one instead" and "No, Kelly should do this and Sara should do that, not the other way around." We just want a chance to make our own decisions, and if they're at our planning meetings, they'll end up taking over.
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  #13  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:30 AM
tunatartare tunatartare is offline
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If they are planning on coming to recruitment parties, then I suggest you do what Sheila said and let them know that Panhel is "discouraging" it and that it makes the sorority look bad. Other than that, all that I can think of really is to just keep them out of the loop. When they ask about when meetings and such are just be like "oh we haven't figured it out yet" or "we're not sure yet."
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  #14  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:31 AM
SockPuppet3 SockPuppet3 is offline
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Regarding the chapter's advisor (I'm sorry to be asking so many questions), I might be able to find this out in our bylaws or something but I haven't looked. Does anyone know if someone who isn't an alum can be an advisor? There's a really great prof on campus who I'm sure would do a fantastic job (and I think she'd be really excited and interested if we proposed the idea to her). But, she isn't one of our alums.
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  #15  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:32 AM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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When they say "Don't do this skit, do that one", what's forcing you to listen to them??? Tell them that you appreciate their input, but the Exec Board/President/Rush Chair has already decided on the one you are doing.
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