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  #7561  
Old 05-17-2012, 03:33 PM
TonyB06 TonyB06 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by christiangirl View Post
Yes, there is a woman at my job whose husband lives in Florida. As someone whose languages are touch then quality time as a trailing second, I have no idea how they make that work.

I bought the 5LLs for Singles. It gave some really good insight to how all this works with friendships and family relationships, too.
As a Words of Affirmation guy (w/ Quality Time as my second LL), I don't think a long-distance relationship (w/out some sort of end-date resolution built in) wouldn't have worked for me either.

What have/had you found to be the biggest diffrentiators in the 5LLs for Singles? particularly regarding friendships? (I've not read any of GC's spin-off books, so I'm interested if his basic "language theories" hold or if he has other views on other types of relationships?)
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  #7562  
Old 05-17-2012, 04:24 PM
Iota Man Iota Man is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyB06 View Post
^^ The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Nothing against dude, but I looked it up and read a little bit about him and his book. I don't believe in or get into those kinds of self-help books. They're not realistic. What I mean is books like that will talk a lot how you should be doing things with your girl/boy, but that's not how relationships always work. They don't always fall inline like that. You feel me? If that was the case, everybody would be reading that shit and following it. Folks get all into that biblical shit which is cool, because I follow God, too, but those self-help authors write that shit to do one thing and that's to get paid. In a real life setting, it doesn't work like that.
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  #7563  
Old 05-17-2012, 06:32 PM
AGDee AGDee is offline
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6 Words of Affirmation
12 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
6 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch

This is funny.. I have been annoyed at times with men who bought me lots of gifts for no reason because I felt like they were just trying to impress me or buy me. I'm not impressed with gifts or money. I do like quality time and everything else is probably about equal.

So I realized today it's been about a month since I last emailed EMUProf and he never responded. I was right to be mentally writing him off.

Tomorrow a bunch of us at work are going to Five Guys, including work guy. Maybe I'll find out whether he's married.
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  #7564  
Old 05-17-2012, 11:31 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iota Man View Post
Nothing against dude, but I looked it up and read a little bit about him and his book. I don't believe in or get into those kinds of self-help books. They're not realistic. What I mean is books like that will talk a lot how you should be doing things with your girl/boy, but that's not how relationships always work. They don't always fall inline like that. You feel me? If that was the case, everybody would be reading that shit and following it. Folks get all into that biblical shit which is cool, because I follow God, too, but those self-help authors write that shit to do one thing and that's to get paid. In a real life setting, it doesn't work like that.
I have respect for Dr. Gary Chapman because he is educated, well-researched, has extensive experience in marriage and the family (which is an interdisciplinary field), and is a minister.

With that said, the Love Languages thing truly is annoying as is The Secret and other guides. People are forgetting/ignoring things that have been known for generations and giving credit where it is not due. My favorite thing is when someone's contribution to a conversation is "there are five love languages...this is how I love...."

That is how I know when people are missing the point and are finding something--anything--to quote and follow.
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  #7565  
Old 05-18-2012, 09:00 AM
TonyB06 TonyB06 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AGDee View Post
Tomorrow a bunch of us at work are going to Five Guys, including work guy. Maybe I'll find out whether he's married.
...I had to re-read this sentence again, slowly. Initially, I was like "wow, AGDee is gettin' it in." LOL
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  #7566  
Old 05-18-2012, 10:57 AM
Dionysus Dionysus is offline
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I'm definately a quality time person, romantic and platonic-wise. It seems like it's the thing I get the least from people. Fuck everyone's busy lives.

I'm a touch person the least. In fact, I hate touching or being touched, unless I'm horny.
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  #7567  
Old 05-18-2012, 04:20 PM
Iota Man Iota Man is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil View Post
I have respect for Dr. Gary Chapman because he is educated, well-researched, has extensive experience in marriage and the family (which is an interdisciplinary field), and is a minister.
I feel you, but with him being a minister, that really doesn't mean shit, though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil View Post
With that said, the Love Languages thing truly is annoying as is The Secret and other guides. People are forgetting/ignoring things that have been known for generations and giving credit where it is not due. My favorite thing is when someone's contribution to a conversation is "there are five love languages...this is how I love...."

That is how I know when people are missing the point and are finding something--anything--to quote and follow.
LOL I feel you. The shit is pretty stupid to me. I feel you, though.
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  #7568  
Old 05-18-2012, 04:25 PM
Iota Man Iota Man is offline
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Last night I was talking to my girl about switching it up a little. Different positions are cool, but I like to try new things/new ways. What's foul as hell is I wanted to try anal, and some other freaky shit I won't post about, because folks on here might not be feeling me with it. She rejected both of my requests. I think when two people are in a relationship, and one person wants to try some new shit, the other person should be down with it. It's about pleasing each other isn't it? I don't see anything wrong with anal. The other experiment I wanted to try, I could understand, but my thing is, if you've never tried it how do you know it's foul as hell?
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  #7569  
Old 05-18-2012, 04:31 PM
Iota Man Iota Man is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyB06 View Post
As a Words of Affirmation guy (
LOL @ this mofo.
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  #7570  
Old 05-18-2012, 04:34 PM
Iota Man Iota Man is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AGDee View Post
I'm not impressed with gifts or money.
What if dude was broke as hell, would you fuck with him?
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  #7571  
Old 05-18-2012, 05:24 PM
amIblue? amIblue? is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iota Man View Post
Last night I was talking to my girl about switching it up a little. Different positions are cool, but I like to try new things/new ways. What's foul as hell is I wanted to try anal, and some other freaky shit I won't post about, because folks on here might not be feeling me with it. She rejected both of my requests. I think when two people are in a relationship, and one person wants to try some new shit, the other person should be down with it. It's about pleasing each other isn't it? I don't see anything wrong with anal. The other experiment I wanted to try, I could understand, but my thing is, if you've never tried it how do you know it's foul as hell?
The flip side of your thought is that if you're in a relationship, and something makes you uncomfortable, your partner should respect that. Also, I'm pretty sure that anal sex is one of those things that you don't have to try to see if you like it. It's not like a weird casserole your mom made for dinner.
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Last edited by amIblue?; 05-18-2012 at 05:26 PM.
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  #7572  
Old 05-18-2012, 05:45 PM
AGDee AGDee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyB06 View Post
...I had to re-read this sentence again, slowly. Initially, I was like "wow, AGDee is gettin' it in." LOL
Yeah, well, I thought they were leaving for Five Guys (Hamburgers, Tony, hamburgers..lol) at 11:30 and I was away from my desk until 11:25. I checked Work Guy's desk and he was gone. I went to see if another co-worker who was supposed to go had left yet and he was at his desk. I asked if he was going to Five Guys and he said no, he couldn't go after all. So, well, they had left.

Ran into Work Guy at the elevators at quitting time and he said "You were supposed to go to lunch with us today, weren't you?" and I told him "Yeah, but I missed you guys." and asked him how it was. He said he could feel his arteries clogging already and said "next time." Still don't know if he's married.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iota Man View Post
What if dude was broke as hell, would you fuck with him?
I want him to be self sufficient because I'm certainly not going to support him, but he doesn't have to take me to expensive places or buy me gifts. He does need to be supporting himself but I don't expect him to support me, financially. If "broke as hell" means homeless or living with his parents, then I'm not interested. He has other things to worry about before engaging in a relationship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amIblue? View Post
The flip side of your thought is that if you're in a relationship, and something makes you uncomfortable, your partner should respect that. Also, I'm pretty sure that anal sex is one of those things that you don't have to try to see if you like it. It's not like a weird casserole your mom made for dinner.
Agreed.
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  #7573  
Old 05-18-2012, 05:49 PM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amIblue? View Post
The flip side of your thought is that if you're in a relationship, and something makes you uncomfortable, your partner should respect that. Also, I'm pretty sure that anal sex is one of those things that you don't have to try to see if you like it. It's not like a weird casserole your mom made for dinner.
This. It's not like the guy is being asked to do anything potentially uncomfortable in this situation - unless you're planning on playing both ways. Otherwise, most of us women have done the virginity thing once and aren't in a hurry to repeat that performance.
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  #7574  
Old 05-18-2012, 06:36 PM
AGDee AGDee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlphaFrog View Post
This. It's not like the guy is being asked to do anything potentially uncomfortable in this situation - unless you're planning on playing both ways. Otherwise, most of us women have done the virginity thing once and aren't in a hurry to repeat that performance.
I would bet that most men who want women to do this are also adamant that theirs is "exit only".
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  #7575  
Old 05-18-2012, 06:37 PM
Tulip86 Tulip86 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amIblue? View Post
The flip side of your thought is that if you're in a relationship, and something makes you uncomfortable, your partner should respect that.
Absolutely!
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