27 Joining a sorority

[AXiDTrish]

As an alumnae for ANY sorority (I'm painting with broad strokes, so I'm assuming) being involved with collegiates usually takes place in the form of a volunteer for a chapter, giving programming, assisting with Recruitment, attending specific functions such as homecoming and alumnae luncheons. Typically, at least in my experience, alumnae do not "socialize" with collegiates in social (formals, mixers, etc) settings. Recent grads are a little different as they can still be close to chapter sisters, but on a whole volunteers (advisors, etc) are sometimes/usually discouraged from "hanging out."

With that said, there are a lot of perks being an alumna, however AI is still a mutual selection type process as kddani pointed out. AI is not the most common thing. There are alumnae associations you get involved in and you can volunteer to assist chapters and simply hang out with other alumnae at sorority gatherings. Networking is huge too. Currently, my AA is assisting a sister in Nebraska by helping her find and apartment and job in Atlanta before she moves down here.

Again...though...if you are interested in collegiate involvement, check out that first and check out all the groups.

[33girl]

Originally posted by TheBest!
--saying things like "my future sisters" and other comments that assume that you'll get a bid to a group are premature.--

I am not assuming I'll get a bid. I am saying my future sisters as a way of respect to the sorority members.

Saying "my future sisters" is presumptuous and can really turn people off. The only time you should use that phrase is during pledgeship.

As far as AI, you can't be an "alumnae intiate" if you are still eligible to rush undergrad - which if you're going to be a sophomore, you would be, regardless of your age. You would have to wait until you graduated from college.

[amanda6035]

You know, I have to say I am dissapointed in some of the people posting on here. I'm not going to name any names...but think about some of the things you have said. If I weren't already a member, some of the comments that have been made on this board would totally turn me off, and confirm the "stereotype" that greeks are snobby and think they are better than anybody else.

While we may hold ourselves to higher standards, I think it's really rude to lash out at TheBest because she used a term such as "my future sisters". As she also stated, she hasnt been exposed to greek life, HOW was she supposed to know that it could be seen as offensive???? She gave a perfectly reasonable explanation for why she used the term, and some people STILL attacked her. NO WONDER that people who are anti-greek have such strong feelings.

TheBest - I wish you the best (no pun intended)of luck in your search. I am 100% glad that I made the decision I did (even though, as I stated earlier, I'm the oldest in my chapter by 2.5 years) and I think it's a good thing to do. Keep in mind that some of the other posters are correct - it is mutual selection, and at some larger schools, they only take you if you're a freshman. I'm personally glad thats why I DONT go to a larger school - I would hate to think I was being purposely discriminated against because of my choice to go into the military aftrer high school, rather than going straight to college, and therefore was older - but that's my own two cents worth. Good luck, and come back to let us know how it goes - even if you choose to go with another organization than AZD.

[winneythepooh7]

I personally didn't find anyone's posts to be attacking or offensive, in fact, I think everyone is being as honest as possible. In fact, if I remember some of the catty girls that were in my chapter, a 27-year-old may have gotten laughed at for considering joining. I don't think it will do anyone any good to sugarcoat the issues because these are realities she will be faced with, which will have to influence her decision on joining . It has nothing to do with being "stereotypical" IMHO.

[kddani]

who "lashed out"?

The only person lashing out here is you, amanda6035. Quite unnecessarily. No one was mean or nasty, just telling the girl the truth. If you want to lie to her and blow the proverbial sunshine up her behind, go ahead, but i'm not going to and neither are many others on here. If you can't handle the truth, don't come looking for it. I'd much rather people be straight with her and let her know what's up, than lie to her and have her be lost and misinformed.

I pointed it out because I don't know that she realized it may be construed incorrectly. It could also severely hurt her chances if she said that to a chapter member.

[TheBest!]

I think attacking each other indirectly is unnecessary.
I thank everyone for telling me what they think.

I thank the ones who support me in my decission, that means the world to me even if I don't know you personally.

I also thank the ones who are straight honest (even though it hurts a little bit) but that's is why I came to you, because I'll will be adviced for the pros and cons for such decission.

Amanda you are very sweet and because of girls like you makes me want to join.
I think the world needs both sides, so we can become wiser.

I Like you all!

[winneythepooh7]

I still wish you good luck with whatever you decide . Just so you know as well, the composition of chapters often changes drastically from year to year, even semester to semester. I encourage you to look around at all the GLO's so you find the one that is a perfect match for you and vice versa. We can talk to you about stuff that may or may not go on, but only you will know if joining Alpha Xi Delta or any other org is the right decision. Again, good luck!!

[amanda6035]

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
I personally didn't find anyone's posts to be attacking or offensive, in fact, I think everyone is being as honest as possible. In fact, if I remember some of the catty girls that were in my chapter, a 27-year-old may have gotten laughed at for considering joining. I don't think it will do anyone any good to sugarcoat the issues because these are realities she will be faced with, which will have to influence her decision on joining . It has nothing to do with being "stereotypical" IMHO.

No, the reality is that you aren't seeing that there are other chapters that are different from yours. I didnt choose my school based on greek life. I chose my school based on what my education was going to be like. When the opportunity to join Alpha Xi Delta presented itself, I took the challenge.

That being said, had I gone to a larger school, with chapters of 50 girls or more, I probably wouldn't have done it. Why? To avoid rude catty girls such as the ones you describe.

There is an opportunity for everyone out there. It embarrasses me to know that there are girls that i'm supposed to call "my sisters" on a national level, who are SO shallow that they would make fun of an older girl for joining....and before anybody says "you don't know what you're talking about" BELIEVE ME, I do. We had a 35 year old single mom who pledged with us when we were a colony. She didn't initiate. Why? Because she felt out of place; not because we were rude or mean to her, but because she had a different outlook on life....those of us who were considerably younger wanted to act our age - we didnt want somebody who was going to treat us like our mother and say "no, you shouldnt do this and this is the reason why." She also realized that she had a daughter to take care of, and a sorority was too time consuming for her family life. She left on good terms, and it was her own decision, but i admire her because she had the guts to try it out.

What I am saying by encourageing TheBest to check it out, is NOT sugarcoating the truth. It's called encouragement. And if she doesnt fit in, or doesnt feel comfortable, thats what the new member period is for - it's a trial time to see if it's really meant for you, and vice versa. At least, that's the way it was taught at my chapter. We weren't taught to be stuck up snotty and discriminatory towards girls who were different, based on age or looks, or whatever else. It hurts me to know there are people out there who actually think that way. What a pity.

*Edit* i just realized thatmost of the girls participating on this thread are NOT AZDs, so I apologize to MY SISTERS for the comment: It embarrasses me to know that there are girls that i'm supposed to call "my sisters" on a national level, who are SO shallow that they would make fun of an older girl for joining

[AlphaXiGirl]

The threads that talk about a woman pledging a sorority if she's married, if she has a child, if she's older always amuse me. I think the answer to those questions is always "it depends"... it depends on the woman, it depends on the campus, it depends on the chapter. In some places all three of the above situations would be taboo usually because the chapter isn't willing to buck the norm.

I get very frustrated when, during recruitment, sorority women try to answer questions that only the PNM can answer - like assuming that a woman that has a child doesn't have time for a sorority or assuming that a 27 year old woman can't fit in with women 8-10 years younger.

There was a woman in my chapter that was 27 when I pledged (I was 17). She lived in the sorority dorm with us. She was also on our varsity cheerleading squad with me. She and I became great friends.

There are plenty of chapters out there that would welcome any new member that was a dedicated woman who would represent their chapter well, regardless of her age.

TheBest, hopefully you attend one of those schools with those types of chapters. Good Luck with whatever you decide to do.

[33girl]

FYI amanda, I had a 25 year old join my chapter (and sisters older than that participating) and I had/have NO problem with it. Some other posters and I were just pointing out that if you word things in such a way that makes it look like you are assuming you WILL be bid, it can be disastrous. Same for casting your lot with one organization only. I would say that if she was 27 or 17.

And by the way, winney's chapter is anything but traditional...she pointed out that it was the "catty" girls that would have made fun of a 27 year old. She was definitely NOT saying that was how she felt.

[winneythepooh7]

Originally posted by 33girl


And by the way, winney's chapter is anything but traditional...she pointed out that it was the "catty" girls that would have made fun of a 27 year old. She was definitely NOT saying that was how she felt. [/B]

Thank you .

[winneythepooh7]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by amanda6035


There is an opportunity for everyone out there. It embarrasses me to know that there are girls that i'm supposed to call "my sisters" on a national level, who are SO shallow that they would make fun of an older girl for joining....

QUOTE]

I feel the same way but unfortunately this does probably happen in many chapters regardless of the organization. I find it hard to believe that when you put that many varying personalities together everyone is going to get along that well. And the issue doesn't have to be about age, it could be about anything. I am not saying that it happens to everyone, but I find it hard to believe that many organizations do not face the problem at one time or another where you get a few women who get fixated on something that they want and everyone else is afraid to stand up to them. That is what I was talking about in regards to the cattiness. But I think this is taking away from the original discussion so I will shut up now. Amanda, I think all anyone is saying is to try to see it from the many different sides that will exist. I also still believe that the only one who can make this decision is the one who is actually going through it, if you go back and read my posts, that is what I was saying all along .

[33girl]

Originally posted by amanda6035
It embarrasses me to know that there are girls that i'm supposed to call "my sisters" on a national level, who are SO shallow that they would make fun of an older girl for joining

Well guess what, we ALL have them, so deal with it.

[amanda6035]

Winnie, if you'll go back and read what i said, I stated: To avoid rude catty girls such as the ones you describe. I never said that I thought you were the catty one - I was talking about "girls in general" who are...

33...do you have to have the last word? And no. I'm not going to DEAL with it. See, when you "deal" with stupid people, then your standards go south, and when your standards go south, everything turns to crap. I can't speak for everyone, but I didn't join "crap."

[WCUgirl]

Pooh says, "Let's just all get along!"

And if that doesn't make you feel all warm & fuzzy inside, you're a cold, heartless human being.