Looking for recs??? Here's an idea!

[diamondmom]

For many girls the search is on to find recommendations for recruitment 2013. I always encourage girls to get started early, for many this is a lengthy process. One great place to look is in your local Alumni Association for the college or university you will be attending. When my daughter went through recruitment we made contact with our local alumni association for her university. We attended a couple of football watch parties and struck up conversations with several women. While chatting we casually mentioned that she would be going through formal recruitment. Turns out these dear ladies took her under their wings, hosting a luncheon for her, inviting all of the alums in the area who had sorority affiliations. By the end of the luncheon my daughter had recs to quite a few houses on campus and they were from alums from those chapters!!! These ladies were a huge help and a wealth of knowledge! If you do not know if there is an active alum group in your area then contact your college's or university's local recruiter, they should know. BTW...recruiters can also be a great source for recs. I speak as a parent at student recruitment functions for my daughter's university. Of the recruiters on hand for our last event all of them had been sorority members and if asked were more than happy to help with recs...
Just a couple of suggestions .

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by diamondmom

For many girls the search is on to find recommendations for recruitment 2013. I always encourage girls to get started early, for many this is a lengthy process. One great place to look is in your local Alumni Association for the college or university you will be attending. When my daughter went through recruitment we made contact with our local alumni association for her university. We attended a couple of football watch parties and struck up conversations with several women. While chatting we casually mentioned that she would be going through formal recruitment. Turns out these dear ladies took her under their wings, hosting a luncheon for her, inviting all of the alums in the area who had sorority affiliations. By the end of the luncheon my daughter had recs to quite a few houses on campus and they were from alums from those chapters!!! These ladies were a huge help and a wealth of knowledge! If you do not know if there is an active alum group in your area then contact your college's or university's local recruiter, they should know. BTW...recruiters can also be a great source for recs. I speak as a parent at student recruitment functions for my daughter's university. Of the recruiters on hand for our last event all of them had been sorority members and if asked were more than happy to help with recs...
Just a couple of suggestions .

Are you in a sorority?

Having a bunch of strangers holding a luncheon in honor of someone they don't know so she can get letters is sort of unusual I think.

[diamondmom]

I am an alum, my daughter is currently a member and my other girls are now alums as well. I too found it a little strange but these ladies were very sweet and insisted. We had met them several times at watch parties and although we weren't friends we weren't perfect strangers either. I'm not sure they intended to hold the luncheon just so she could get recs (at the time we already had 1 per sorority due to my contacts as well as her sister's contacts and friends) but rather it was kind of a "welcome to the university family of XYZ". It was at one of their homes and there were about 15 women in attendance. I had to laugh because at one point one of the ladies had my daughter stand up, turn around and then declared " you'll do just fine at XYZ"! I have to tell you that it was a valuable experience for my daughter. She had the opportunity to chat about herself, answer questions, have some great conversations and make some new friends. Looking back on it now we both agree it was almost a mini recruitment event. In turn these ladies shared what their experiences had been (some had just been out a year or so and others had graduated many many years ago). The University my daughter chose was out-of-state and the "culture" was quite a bit different than where she grew up. I am very thankful they were kind enough to have done this for her.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by diamondmom

I am an alum, my daughter is currently a member and my other girls are now alums as well. I too found it a little strange but these ladies were very sweet and insisted. We had met them several times at watch parties and although we weren't friends we weren't perfect strangers either. I'm not sure they intended to hold the luncheon just so she could get recs (at the time we already had 1 per sorority due to my contacts as well as her sister's contacts and friends) but rather it was kind of a "welcome to the university family of XYZ". It was at one of their homes and there were about 15 women in attendance. I had to laugh because at one point one of the ladies had my daughter stand up, turn around and then declared " you'll do just fine at XYZ"! I have to tell you that it was a valuable experience for my daughter. She had the opportunity to chat about herself, answer questions, have some great conversations and make some new friends. Looking back on it now we both agree it was almost a mini recruitment event. In turn these ladies shared what their experiences had been (some had just been out a year or so and others had graduated many many years ago). The University my daughter chose was out-of-state and the "culture" was quite a bit different than where she grew up. I am very thankful they were kind enough to have done this for her.

How odd.

[Titchou]

I don't find any of it odd...I can see it happening. Not saying it's right or wrong but just could happen in any number of places I know of...and I'd also be willing to bet that the women had "checked out" the girl with other people they know. I've done it with girls I met thru a friend. She may have vouched for her in this kind of situation but I've checked with people in that girl's school as well.

[ree-Xi]

What I find odd is the way that fifteen near-strangers fawned over her daughter. Perhaps it's because of where I live, but I just cannot imagine a group of women throwing a luncheon for one girl who they met at a football game.

I just don't think that it's something that would happen for most PNMs without a lot of connections, and not to expect such a huge "welcome".

[futurehog]

I'm from the south and don't find this odd at all! Just seems like a really sweet thing for those ladies to do. Southern hospitality I suppose.

Anyway, I've been told to get in contact with local groups like that, but when is the best time? Now?

Hopefully they'll host a luncheon for me.

[Titchou]

Guess y'all just aren't used to "home town" parties. What's so different about a group of alums in - say Mountain Brook, AL - having a pool party for college bound women in their HS - whom they may or may not know? Granted, the OP's daughter was the only one there but maybe they just didn't have that many in their town??? Or all the others already had their recs lined up. I'd be willing to go to one of these as the person from my GLO. Doesn't sound too much different than the couple of days I spent in Tuscaloosa in summer of 1963 being schlepped around by my aunt (who lived there) to have tea, cookies, lunch, brunch, whatever with her friends who were in the sororities at Alabama. We just did it one by one instead of all at one event.

[diamondmom]

With this particular Greek community and University I can tell you that this is "the norm" for many who have ties or involvement in both the Greek and non-Greek communities.. From the minute we stepped onto campus, throughout the recruitment process and even now as we are winding down the stretch we have found everyone to be kind, caring and all willing to go over and above to help in anyway. As a parent rep for this University I can tell you that we all try very hard to pay it forward.
One more example...while attending Orientation we happened to run into a professor who was washing his car in front of a dorm (at this particular school some professors "live in"). We were a teeny bit lost and he offered to help (map reading not my bes skill)..by the end of the conversation he had given my daughter his cell # and private email. We sent a thank you and he emailed her the first week of school to check in and has subsequently checked in each semester since.
While this may not be the "norm" or "expectation" I have found while traveling and speaking for this University that is you are open and genuine to others they will reciprocate.
My message is to reach out to the alum groups...be open and genuine and you might be surprised how helpful they can/will be! It's worth a shot, especially at a school that has a very competitive recruitment.

[futurehog]

Originally Posted by diamondmom

With this particular Greek community and University I can tell you that this is "the norm" for many who have ties or involvement in both the Greek and non-Greek communities.. From the minute we stepped onto campus, throughout the recruitment process and even now as we are winding down the stretch we have found everyone to be kind, caring and all willing to go over and above to help in anyway. As a parent rep for this University I can tell you that we all try very hard to pay it forward.
One more example...while attending Orientation we happened to run into a professor who was washing his car in front of a dorm (at this particular school some professors "live in"). We were a teeny bit lost and he offered to help (map reading not my bes skill)..by the end of the conversation he had given my daughter his cell # and private email. We sent a thank you and he emailed her the first week of school to check in and has subsequently checked in each semester since.
While this may not be the "norm" or "expectation" I have found while traveling and speaking for this University that is you are open and genuine to others they will reciprocate.
My message is to reach out to the alum groups...be open and genuine and you might be surprised how helpful they can/will be! It's worth a shot, especially at a school that has a very competitive recruitment.

Wow!! That's awesome that the professor was that kind. If you don't mind me asking, was this at a smaller school or a large university?

[diamondmom]

Large flagship state school....futurehog...I would reach out to your local alum group. I would also encourage you to talk with your local recruiter. It's networking, networking, networking.... .

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by diamondmom

while attending Orientation we happened to run into a professor who was washing his car in front of a dorm (at this particular school some professors "live in"). We were a teeny bit lost and he offered to help (map reading not my bes skill)..by the end of the conversation he had given my daughter his cell # and private email.

I'm calling shenanigans.

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by Titchou

Guess y'all just aren't used to "home town" parties. What's so different about a group of alums in - say Mountain Brook, AL - having a pool party for college bound women in their HS - whom they may or may not know? Granted, the OP's daughter was the only one there but maybe they just didn't have that many in their town??? Or all the others already had their recs lined up. I'd be willing to go to one of these as the person from my GLO. Doesn't sound too much different than the couple of days I spent in Tuscaloosa in summer of 1963 being schlepped around by my aunt (who lived there) to have tea, cookies, lunch, brunch, whatever with her friends who were in the sororities at Alabama. We just did it one by one instead of all at one event.

Well I am very familiar with that kind of party and that involves someone who knows you or your family a little better in some way not some random ladies getting together for a girl they don't know. I'm not saying it didn't happen just that it's a little strange. The thing I thought was creepy was the way she described the lady making her daughter stand up and turn so they could examine her like a prize pig and proclaim she would do fine at her sorority. My momma and I would not be ok with people doing that and definitely not be bragging about it to strangers on the internet. It's weird to me that she talks about her and her other daughters only being sorority alums and it seems really detached for someone who is so into it that she is all over the place here suddenly giving advice about recruitment. I don't think this experience is typical at all.

It is also pretty obvious what school this lady is talking about so it might be better to not go into so many details that could embarrass people or get them recognized or something.

[Titchou]

I said the part about being the only one there and the getting up and turning around comment was weird but I surely know some folks who would do that without a second thought. But it is surprising in a town that's large enough to have an alumni chapter of "large flagship state school" that gets together in a bar for a "watch party" every Saturday that she couldn't already find recs on her own.

[AZTheta]

hijack: Coming from the West Coast, I'll tell you guys that I did raise an eyebrow at some of the elaboration and details. However, I also know that when I was preparing for rush, I did not have recommendations for all the chapters (we called them houses at the time). I had a Delta Gamma rec because I was positive that was the only sorority that I wanted, and I'd idolized a DG alumna since I was a young girl and she was in college. She wrote my rec and she was so encouraging, and I wanted to be just like her.

Seriously. Anyway, I submitted my rush application and photos. And about a week later, while I was still at home, I got phone calls from alumnae of various chapters, asking if I could meet for coffee or ice cream or lunch or whatever. And within a couple of weeks I had recommendations submitted on my behalf by these alumnae. I never asked, it just happened. If they were inspecting me, it wasn't blatant. I didn't have to stand and turn around or anything. I just had to be on my very best behavior, and thanks to my grandmother, I knew how to behave.

Now I have a network of women from various chapters and we support each other's PNMs, and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

end hijack.