Preparing for recruitment since birth

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by carnation

With release figures being the way they are now, though, it's not a given that the 'right' bid will follow. There are so so many Mary Sues out there plus a lot of other girls whom the sororities are interested in because of their great grades and strong activities and you just can't count on getting a bid from certain groups anymore.

Practically every year, especially since RFM came to be, I hear Greek Life say they received phone calls from angry/distraught moms whose daughter's life is ruined because ABC dropped them and something must be done to fix this! I've gotten similar calls from alumnae myself.

Originally Posted by Titchou

You know, it is just so blamed difficult to explain all this to a non-southerner since we grew up with it. Some things you just "know"...and I don't mean to sound snobby here...it's just reality. Southerners are just more "connected" I think...

As a Midwestern transplant, I've had to learn this and it's not been easy. After so many years I understand and have come to accept it mentally, but emotionally it's hard. It is just so different from how I grew up and my personal experiences.

Perhaps those who are not from the South can grasp it like this. IMO it is similar to some of the Ivy League grads' mindset. Your family is filled with grads from Ivy U so you expect your child to go to Ivy U. You associate with, business network with, socialize with other Ivy U grads. You are able to join certain clubs/orgs due to your connections. Doors are opened all because of where you graduated from, not who you are as a person. You know the exact social status and business/economic rankings all other Ivy League schools and their grads.

You send your kid to the right pre-school, grade school, jr high, HS, camp, etc. You make sure they are involved in the right extra curricular activities. Maybe even hire tutors to get their GPA, SAT/ACT up to snuff. You do everything with the intention of building their resume/application in order to be accepted to Ivy U. (Of course assuming you don't have a gazillion dollars to donate to the school. )

If your kid doesn't get in or simply doesn't want to go there? Well their life will be ruined, won't it? They won't get the right job, live in the right area, belong to the right clubs/orgs, marry the right person, ...

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Zillini

Practically every year, especially since RFM came to be, I hear Greek Life say they received phone calls from angry/distraught moms whose daughter's life is ruined because ABC dropped them and something must be done to fix this! I've gotten similar calls from alumnae myself.


As a Midwestern transplant, I've had to learn this and it's not been easy. After so many years I understand and have come to accept it mentally, but emotionally it's hard. It is just so different from how I grew up and my personal experiences.

Perhaps those who are not from the South can grasp it like this. IMO it is similar to some of the Ivy League grads' mindset. Your family is filled with grads from Ivy U so you expect your child to go to Ivy U. You associate with, business network with, socialize with other Ivy U grads. You are able to join certain clubs/orgs due to your connections. Doors are opened all because of where you graduated from, not who you are as a person. You know the exact social status and business/economic rankings all other Ivy League schools and their grads.

You send your kid to the right pre-school, grade school, jr high, HS, camp, etc. You make sure they are involved in the right extra curricular activities. Maybe even hire tutors to get their GPA, SAT/ACT up to snuff. You do everything with the intention of building their resume/application in order to be accepted to Ivy U. (Of course assuming you don't have a gazillion dollars to donate to the school. )

If your kid doesn't get in or simply doesn't want to go there? Well their life will be ruined, won't it? They won't get the right job, live in the right area, belong to the right clubs/orgs, marry the right person, ...

And I think it is important to realize that this is a very SMALL group in the South. This represents the social elite, while the rest of us in the South go about happily accepting our place in whatever group we feel comfortable joining, marrying the man we want regardless of what family he may be from and being happy and successful on our own merit instead of on our husband's merit. In a lot of ways, this is trumped up and does not reflect the thought process of most of the South. Like Zillini pointed out, there are social elite in the North, too. We watch them on TV in shows on MTV, but it doesn't define the entire North.

[catfan]

My freshman year at an SEC school, my roomie pledged and I didn't even rush. I asked her, as she went through all the rush drama, if it was that important to be in a sorority. She replied it wasn't important to be in a sorority, was important to be in the "right" sorority.
Guess what? She was from the Chicago area. I guess it's not limited to the south. And BTW, she pledged what was considered a top house.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

And I think it is important to realize that this is a very SMALL group in the South. This represents the social elite, while the rest of us in the South go about happily accepting our place in whatever group we feel comfortable joining, marrying the man we want regardless of what family he may be from and being happy and successful on our own merit instead of on our husband's merit. In a lot of ways, this is trumped up and does not reflect the thought process of most of the South.

Agreed. It is a stereotype. With every stereotype there is a basis in fact, yet it is not an accurate reflection of everyone.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

And I think it is important to realize that this is a very SMALL group in the South. This represents the social elite, while the rest of us in the South go about happily accepting our place in whatever group we feel comfortable joining, marrying the man we want regardless of what family he may be from and being happy and successful on our own merit instead of on our husband's merit. In a lot of ways, this is trumped up and does not reflect the thought process of most of the South. Like Zillini pointed out, there are social elite in the North, too. We watch them on TV in shows on MTV, but it doesn't define the entire North.

time out! "social elite" and "MTV" hardly belong in the same sentence!

[WVU alpha phi]

This thread is fascinating to me.

[Titchou]

I think it depends on where you are from. In Missisippi, I think it really still is entrenched. In Alabama, Georgia maybe not as much as more "carpetbaggers" have moved in. (that's a joke, OK?) But I find while it still exists here, it's not as bad as when I was in college in the 60's. And it was VERY prevalent then.

[kchaptergphib]

Such a great thread!

Originally Posted by catfan

My freshman year at an SEC school, my roomie pledged and I didn't even rush. I asked her, as she went through all the rush drama, if it was that important to be in a sorority. She replied it wasn't important to be in a sorority, was important to be in the "right" sorority.
Guess what? She was from the Chicago area. I guess it's not limited to the south. And BTW, she pledged what was considered a top house.

And from that, I bet I can narrow down what suburb(s) she's from. That SCREAMS North Shore. Yes, we have a few Good Ol' Family folks in the midwest, too.
But, for whatever reason, my hunch would be that she attended the right high school, and was from the right neighborhood, but wanted to join the "right" sorority because she's a [social] Climber. That thinking that she needed to join the "right" sorority just sounds kind of insecure to me.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by tld221

time out! "social elite" and "MTV" hardly belong in the same sentence!

I don't watch the show but doesn't that show about the kids in private school in NYC come on MTV? Maybe not.

[DrPhil]

I appreciate the fact that GCers come from different age groups and backgrounds. It makes the discussions more fun and the info more interesting.



(With and without the snark. )

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I don't watch the show but doesn't that show about the kids in private school in NYC come on MTV? Maybe not.

NYC Prep? That is Bravo.

KDAngel made a thread about that show where an editorial dismissed the eliteness of the kids' families. I'll see if I can find it.

ETA: found it http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...highlight=prep

I think it needs to be said that those who announce their elitism so much are the bottom of the barrel of elite. The elite don't need to announce it because they are almost constantly surrounded by it. It's a given. The kids on NYC Prep were more along the lines of rich kids from newer money (with exception for PC who was an embarassment to his family). All of that ties into the discussion of preparing for recruitment since birth.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

NYC Prep? That is Bravo.

KDAngel made a thread about that show where an editorial dismissed the eliteness of the kids' families. I'll see if I can find it.

ETA: found it http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...highlight=prep

I think it needs to be said that those who announce their elitism so much are the bottom of the barrel of elite. The elite don't need to announce it because they are almost constantly surrounded by it. It's a given. The kids on NYC Prep were more along the lines of rich kids from newer money (with exception for PC who was an embarassment to his family). All of that ties into the discussion of preparing for recruitment since birth.

random aside:

dont a couple of characters from Gossip Girl try to join sororities when they go to college? it seems so odd to me that folks in "high society" would be interested in greek life, as they have other social networks that are bigger status symbols in their circles.

and this conversation is still intriguing to me. i think this type of thinking trickles down to us "regular folk." for example, I know anytime i read about someone who has done something awesome (from being the "first so-and-so" to do X, to being honored by a foundation or your run of the mill feel-good public interest story) my first question is "Are they Greek? Who are they affiliated with?" It's silly, but it makes sense because that social circle is important to me.

My aunt, a devout Christian (and i use that term loosely), her question is always "I wonder what church they belong to." Because then that tells her who their pastor is, and for her, it further informs her opinion of said awesome person. Someone else in that situation may ask "I wonder if theyre ____________" with respect to race, culture, alumni status, or what have you. We like to categorize and stake claim. Internally we're saying "Oh, theyre one of us. Theyre good people then."

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by tld221

dont a couple of characters from Gossip Girl try to join sororities when they go to college? it seems so odd to me that folks in "high society" would be interested in greek life, as they have other social networks that are bigger status symbols in their circles.

Speaking from an NPHC perspective, it is similar to how Graham depicted it in "Our Kind of People." There were certain BGLOs and schools that were considered top tier. It was one of many ways to keep traditions and social networks intact. Even people who weren't of the social elite attempt to mimick this in an attempt to get inside these social circles and become eligible for the bigger networks that you're speaking of. It worked sometimes.

I agree with the rest of your post. It's all a way of categorizing people and also to position yourself in relation to them. You can get an idea of what they have or don't have. They may not always be "good people" in the literal sense but they can be "your kind of people."

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

NYC Prep? That is Bravo.

KDAngel made a thread about that show where an editorial dismissed the eliteness of the kids' families. I'll see if I can find it.

ETA: found it http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...highlight=prep

I think it needs to be said that those who announce their elitism so much are the bottom of the barrel of elite. The elite don't need to announce it because they are almost constantly surrounded by it. It's a given. The kids on NYC Prep were more along the lines of rich kids from newer money (with exception for PC who was an embarassment to his family). All of that ties into the discussion of preparing for recruitment since birth.

Yeah, NYC Prep...that's exactly what I was thinking. I don't watch that show, but whether or not they're truly elite, the majority of people in the North do not live like that even if those people are the bottom barrel of the social elite as "new" money. Bravo...I should remember that they have all the elitist wannabe shows.

[catfan]

And from that, I bet I can narrow down what suburb(s) she's from. That SCREAMS North Shore. Yes, we have a few Good Ol' Family folks in the midwest, too.
But, for whatever reason, my hunch would be that she attended the right high school, and was from the right neighborhood, but wanted to join the "right" sorority because she's a [social] Climber. That thinking that she needed to join the "right" sorority just sounds kind of insecure to me.
__________________

She was a legacy to the chapter she pledged, her Mom was a member at that GLO's Alpha chapter. I rushed the next year, and didn't even get an invite to 2nd round. I guess it wasn't the "right" house for me.
I was a legacy to a different GLO, and my Mom never talked about the possibility of me even rushing as a freshman. Total opposites as far as roomies go.
This has been a fun thread.