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  #1  
Old 09-24-2000, 02:41 PM
Tiara98 Tiara98 is offline
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Location: Baltimore, MD USA
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Exclamation What to do?!? Need answers!

My local is in the process of taking in a few new members whom will become part of the 'founding sister class' of the MGLO that we are affiliating with.
Last week, we held the first of our two interest meetings (which work a lot like an NPC COB). Only two rushees showed up. However, one of the girls was just the type of person we were looking for and she was offered and accepted a bid.

We didn't feel that we 'clicked' with the other girl, and although we felt bad, she was not invited to become a sister. Usually that's the end of that, right?

Well apparently this girl has written our prez an e-mail BEGGING for a bid, and Ms. Prez says that it made her feel so bad that she wants to reconsider.

We're discussing it at our closed meeting tonight before our interest meeting, and although it makes me feel really bad...wasn't there a reason we said no in the first place?

If you try to BEG your way into a "real" GLO, it doesn't work, so why should we contradict our own desire for administrative organization?

Any thoughts on this?


------------------
Amanda M.
Social Chairwoman
Theta Sigma Alpha
(soon to be a Zeta Sigma Chi Colony)
Towson University

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  #2  
Old 09-24-2000, 02:57 PM
NUPE4LIFE NUPE4LIFE is offline
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Okay here's my stance on this. Did you guys not pick her because you just didn't click with her? I mean I can honestly say that I didn't click with all the members of the chapter that brought me in nor one of my LB's . However, I believe pledging teaches one about how the real world works. Sometimes you have to learn how to work with people that you don't click with. I didn't say get along with. I mean if you can't stomach the sight of someone, then that's another story. But being in my organization has taught me respect. We might now hang out after we rap of fraternal business but I respect you as my brother and the bond we share as brothers. That's the mistake that so many people make. I didn't join Kappa Alpha Psi to make friends. I knew that friendship would be an added plus in the deal. I joined cause I found an organization of STRONG men who were dedicated to the sole principle of ACHIEVEMENT. I saw a group of men who forge through a time when they were trying to start something in very inhospitable conditions. They rose through the depths of a segregated society and university and founded something destined for greatness. I won't continue with my praise. But I said all of that to say, that's why I joined. So if this person is a hard worker, then why not have them in your organization. They would be a great asset. You see people all the time and wonder how did they make it in, but that's what you see on the outside. On the inside, they are the hardest workers around toiling for their organization. But the question at hand is should you reconsider. I say NO. If you have voted as a chapter for whatever reason not to extend membership to someone, you can't go back on your word. Their might be rare exceptions to this for which I will not get into. Sometimes you have to really work at what you want. If this young lady is serious about someday becoming a sister, she'll keep striving. I mean sometimes we are not mature or prepared enough to take upon leadership in organizations. She might truly have somethings she needs to work on. If she is someone who you see would be a great asset to your organization and she still wants it, work with her. Don't spoon feed her what she lacks. But encourage her. Don't turn her away. If she wants to help you in your endeavors let her. Then she might realize on her own without you having to tell her what she needs to be ready next time. But don't go back on your decision. I don't think any organization BGLO or GLO needs members. Even those orgs. with smaller numbers. We make due just find and carry out our respective business. And remember this, once you do something like that it'll start a deadly precedent. And you don't wanna be hyproctical. If you let her in, watcha gonna do next time when someone is begging the chapter Pres. to be given a bid? Think about. Greek Love and Good Luck.

------------------
KAPPA ALPHA PSI FRATERNITY, INC.
SPR 97
XI LAMBDA
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  #3  
Old 09-24-2000, 05:46 PM
AXO Alum AXO Alum is offline
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Every organization should have guidelines (criteria, whatever word works) to which they should adhere when it comes to membership selection. We don't just say we didn't "click" with a girl, we have to discuss her membership within the realms of our guidelines. I highly recommend that you all first discuss, then brainstorm, and then vote to adopt guidelines for membership criteria. All of the NPC orgs I have dealt with also operate this way (check out several sights - you'll see a common theme among the groups). Also, by adopting a formal set of guidelines, you will be helping to prevent incidents like this in the future (as well as possible lawsuits by someone who is mad that she didn't get a bid and decides to sue for discrimination....I know it sounds out there, but look at all the stupid suits we see everyday!) Grades should be a start for establishing guidelines.

As far as this person goes, I think you all should look at why you don't "click" with her tonight at your meeting. I'm all for the quality vs. quantity thing, but at this point, I think you should want to try and encourage membership for all those meeting your guidelines! Please feel free to email me if you need some more ideas about establishing guidelines! Good Luck!
Please feel free to email me about other issues. Good luck!

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"Alpha Chi Omega - If you only had 2 wishes, what would your second one be?"
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  #4  
Old 09-24-2000, 08:07 PM
NUPE4LIFE NUPE4LIFE is offline
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AXO Alum, you've made some very good points. Tiara98: Does your organization have membership guidelines? If not, you should. And when AXO Alum mentions lawsuits, take her seriously. I do know details of cases where people have sued to gain membership. It's not pretty. Take head.

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KAPPA ALPHA PSI FRATERNITY, INC.
SPR 97
XI LAMBDA
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  #5  
Old 09-24-2000, 10:18 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Hold your ears all, I'm about to e-shout...

DO NOT EVER EVER EVER GIVE SOMEONE A BID BECAUSE YOU FEEL SORRY FOR THEM.

Our chapter did this once, and although I do like the girl as a person, she made a crummy sister. She was just not up to the resposibilities of it. Another chapter on my campus took a girl who we had turned down several times(most of our sisters couldn't stand her and she couldn't take a hint) to fulfill their numbers requirements for colonization, and because, as one of the sisters said, they felt sorry for her. Guess who they were all bitching about 3 weeks later.

Think about what will happen if you go through with this:
1. It will get around campus that "all you have to do to get into ZSX is beg for a bid."
2. There will be members who resent this girl because of the way she got in.
3. The reasons you didn't click with her will become more and more evident.

I do agree on setting up criteria, such as grades, community involvement etc...however, in my opinion, anyone who would lower themselves to beg for a bid is the last kind of person you would want in your sorority, especially in a developing sorority such as yours.
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  #6  
Old 09-24-2000, 11:55 PM
Tiara98 Tiara98 is offline
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BIG THANK YOU to all for your advice. Luckily, my sisters were all on a wavelength with me. We were read the e-mail Rushee XYZ sent to our president's personal e-mail account, and apparently this girl is a transfer from community college, and fresh out of being engaged to a controlling fiance.

This gave further support to our initial hunch that she just wanted to be involved in SOMETHING, and that she isn't currently the kind of independent, strong woman with an outside life and group of friends (in addition to the sisters) that we are looking for as a founding sister.

In this e-mail to the prez, she was basically demanding to know 'what we thought of her'. Mme. President will be writing back with a brief "We are not at liberty to discuss our reasons for offering or not offering bids. However, you are more than welcome to rush again in the spring."

Maybe she will come back in the spring as a woman who has 'found' her lost identity after a traumatic break-up (we've all had them). But for right now, we definitely need people that can contribute their unique talents to the organization without a whole lot of pushing or pulling.

Just thought you all might like to know how everything turned out...

33GIRL: you are very right...i didn't want changing our minds on a decision like that to break down the integrity of our vision. And I also felt that we'd be doing her a tremendous disservice by accepting her out of pity, knowing that we'd probably alienate her subconsciously later on.

------------------
Amanda M.
Social Chairwoman
Theta Sigma Alpha
(soon to be a Zeta Sigma Chi Colony)
Towson University
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