s0phie's spring rush '06 thread - Page 3

s0phie · #31 02-05-2006, 04:44 PM

THIRD CLOSED (Part Two)
This is an invitation-only event. All events are at the exact same time. Only one sorority event can be attended on this day, so this is essentially choice day.

HIGHLIGHT TO READ WHAT HAPPENED.

START HERE: After the event... When it was time to head to the house, I walked over with some other girls who had also received invites. We got inside and were greeted and told to get some refreshments. Then, we just sat and chatted. What I like about being around Dominique is that I don't have to "have to". I never tried to be anything. I just went and talked. And yeah, there were some quiet moments but they weren't awkward moments. It was good to be there because when I came in, they seemed genuinely happy to see me.

Anyway, I just sort of went and talked to whoever was closest. I moved around, but it wasn't forced. It wasn't that feeling of, "Oh, I have to make the rounds!" It was just like, chill. I had some conversations about random stuff, but it was cool. It was more natural. At Aundrea, I had the same conversation with every girl. The whole year-major-hometown-dorm thing.

Anyway, I won’t reveal the activities that we did, but it was a good time. It was very chill and relaxed and I felt as if my rose-tinted glasses for the Aundreas had been removed. I totally fit more at the Dominiques with the way that my personality is. I stood there thinking: "These girls are crazy and are just like me! How could I not see it?"

At one point of the event, I talked to another rushee who had also been at the Aundrea events with me. I told her about how I thought the right decision had been made and it was during our talk that it dawned on me that the Aundreas are deceitful, though not intentionally and not with malice.

This is what happens with the Aundreas: They are so nice to everyone and they seem to connect with you so much that you think that you are already friends. It seems like Insta-friend. You've had these conversations, you've bonded, it just seems like they love you. The thing is, I have realized, is that they do that with everyone. They give you just the right amount of feedback. They smile and are interested and look like they are having the best time with you. So much so that when you aren't invited back, you feel almost as if you have been betrayed by a friend. People wonder where they went wrong because they seemed to have connected with the Aundreas. Well, I discussed this with this girl and I realized: friendship takes time. It's okay if we don't really know the Dominiques yet. It's okay if I don't know everyone's major or whatever. Friendship takes time to build and true friendship is rarely instant. I have seen the character of the Dominique girls, even if I don't know their names or where they live or where they come from. All of that shines through. Unfortunately, I was wearing sunglasses the whole time I was with them because I was so shallowly set on the Aundreas (even if I didn't acknowledge that to myself).

The girl I was talking to brought up that there were some people in the Aundreas that hadn't been invited to Final Tea or Third Closed, but I told her, "I don't want to be anyone's seconds. If they really wanted me, they would have invited me to their closed event today. But they didn't. And I'm glad, because the Dominiques want me here and so I'm rushing them for the rest of this process." And I mean, it's true. The Dominiques have always wanted me and always made me feel wanted and comfortable. They are genuine, real, laid back. I can't believe I didn't see all of this stuff before. I mean, even with their house: you can tell that the girls aren't neat freaks. You can tell that they probably keep messy rooms. One Dominique was like, "We were supposed to clean today!?!?!" And the whole time I was around the Aundreas, I was like, "If I stayed in their house, I would have to keep my room super clean." It was always little adjustments that I would have to do in order to fit in with them. What I was wearing, how I appeared, what I said, how I said it. It was all just a little bit forced, even though I didn't want to acknowledge it as that.

Even last night, when I was debating whether or not I would go to Aundrea or Dominique pending the invite, I was thinking, "It would be easier if Aundrea just didn't invite me because it would make my decision a lot easier." I also had thoughts of: "I know that the Dominiques like me. I know that if I don't go to their party, they will miss me. If I turn down the Aundreas' invite (if I got one), would they even care?" Thoughts like that always popped into my head but I always pushed them aside.

I started telling the girl that what I wanted in a sorority were girls that accepted me as I am and that didn't see me as a caricature. I think that's the thing I hate. There are a lot of people on this campus that I "know," but those are the people who are always like, "Hey, Sophie!" or "That Sophie girl is really cool!" but then they never hang out with me or talk to me as a person. I'm a person to say hi to or to laugh with every once in a while, and that's it. And maybe that's what I would have been or what I am to the Aundreas. A funny girl, but not a sister. Not right for having those conversations.

We ate some food and I talked to this Dominique and it was a REAL conversation. It didn't feel like she had to move on to someone else or anything. Or try to pin me on someone else, like the Aundreas always did. It was always as if their time was just too valuable to be wasted on one person for too much time. At the Dominiques, we just talked. We let the conversation take a natural progression.

After another part of the event, we just chatted while waiting for more food and I talked to some different Dominiques, although these were ones that I had met in some previous way outside of rush. And I was just realizing: I didn't really know anything about these girls although I had assumed it before. Just sitting in that room, eating my food and just chilling out, but also having fun and joking around a little bit was cool. I just felt like I was just being. I know that with time, things will get more comfortable and I will get crazier around them.

As I looked around at the girls, I realized that these were really great and crazy girls. These were the crazy girls who probably knew what it was like to be like me: to be the girl that people don't take seriously or don't really want to have real conversations with. For the Aundreas, I am just that funny girl that they want to say hi to sometimes. For the Dominiques, I think I truly represent a person to them that they can see being their friend and maybe even their sister.

They're goofy, they sing randomly, speak in random accents, do crazy antics... how could I not see before that if ever there was a sort of home for me on campus, that it was with them? I don't know if I will get a bid, but I really hope that I can become a part of their sorority.

Buttonz · #32 02-06-2006, 01:46 AM

I agree with honey, you are mature beyond your years.

I'm glad you are having a good time where you are, and that you fit in. Sometimes it takes a little push to show us the right way.

Good luck

FSUZeta · #33 02-06-2006, 02:13 PM

i love your story. i hope all works out for you!!

smiley21 · #34 02-06-2006, 02:24 PM

I feel like a detective reading your story! I hope everything works for you!

canadajen · #35 02-06-2006, 05:18 PM

Great post! Cannot wait to find out what happens next ... well done & bravo for how well you are handling yourself!

Best wishes.

rho4life · #36 02-06-2006, 06:11 PM

i love the invisible ink posts! Good Luck

irishpipes · #37 02-06-2006, 06:25 PM

Your posts are amazing. You have a talent for expressing what you are going through. Good luck. A person like you will have fun and success no matter the outcome.

WhiteDaisy128 · #38 02-06-2006, 07:37 PM

I sooo want to know what's going to happen!! There is some really good advice in this thread...given by the potential new member! Any group you end up with will be lucky.

PiPhiGirl2005 · #39 02-06-2006, 09:45 PM

This is a great rush thread, and I'm really enjoying readling all your thoughts. Best of luck with the rest of your recruitment process and make sure to keep us updated!

hoover815 · #40 02-07-2006, 10:43 PM

Sophie --
I love reading rush threads, but rarely feel compelled to add my "good luck" to the thousands of others posted. Yours is different. You are an amazing writer, and I hope it's something you pursue somehow, sometime, on some level. I also cannot believe that this insight is coming from a college freshman. Wise beyond your years is right on.

I sincerely wish you the very best through your rush experience and that the Dominiques continue to see you for the asset you would be to their sorority.

p.s. My school was all-local when I attended and just recently colonized NPC organizations. Thanks for bringing back all my non-NPC rush memories!

s0phie · #41 02-08-2006, 10:28 PM

Thank you everyone for your encouragement. I really appreciate it.

The sorority had their third closed which I attended and then their final tea, which I was invited to. I attended Preference and ranked the sororities: (1) Dominique, (2) Aundrea, and (3) Dawn.

Tonight, the bids came out.

Unfortunately...

JUST KIDDING....

I AM NOW A MEMBER OF...

DOMINIQUE!!!!!
Also known as SIGMA SIGMA, a local sorority at Hope College!!!

chitownxo · #42 02-08-2006, 10:30 PM

Congratulations!

honeychile · #43 02-08-2006, 10:37 PM

Congratulations, SOphie!! You wrote such an amazing account of your experience, I can only wish you the very, very best in your choice!!

AGDee · #44 02-08-2006, 11:03 PM

Hey! We had an intern from Hope College this summer but she transferred to Grand Valley this year. She's such an outgoing young woman and Hope is small enough that I bet you know her.. Amanda Z? (PM me if you need a last name).

PiPhiGirl2005 · #45 02-08-2006, 11:13 PM

I KNEW IT!!!!!

I had a good hunch that it was Hope. I totally knew Dominique was Sigma, too, just from what you were saying.

That's so exciting!

I don't go to Hope, but my best friend is a Cosmo and I hang out at his house all the time. I went to their formal in December and there were TONS of Sigmas there. There are always Sigmas at their rush informal, too, and they're all really nice.

Any chance you'll write who the other houses were?