Sorority Shopping?

[MBurden]

I never said it was the reason MOST women join.

[MBurden]

Again, you didn't read my post....I CLEARLY SAID that I didn't judge all sororities about what happened to a couple of my friends...I guess you didn't take up reading in college.

I'm not posting anymore here. I don't care if I stay on the board or not...I already have the information I needed. I don't live on the board as I have a business that I have to work at every day.

Have fun everyone...time to get back to the REAL WORLD!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by MBurden

I never said it was the reason MOST women join.

You didn't?

Originally Posted by MBurden

When I was in college, I couldn't tell you the number of women that pledged sororities, then complained weekly about all of the "work" that it took and the "hassle" of attending functions, doing required volunteer work, etc. Then when they graduate, they want something to put on their resume, and they never do anything with their alumni again.

I would wager that this is the MAJORITY of college-joiners, as Sorority Alumni organizations are often begging for others in their sorority to assist with volunteer efforts for college rushes, advisement, etc.

I guess my reading IS weak then, because that seems to be exactly what you said.

[LPIDelta]

Another thread gone bad because people want to put words into others mouths....

[tunatartare]

Soyanora.

[PenguinTrax]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

AND...since we're talking about NPC Groups... A-L-U-M-N-A-E
There's only ONE NPC that can claim an Alumni.

OK, this is nit-picking, but the proper term is alumna for women, alumnae for a group of them.

For men, it is alumnus (singular) and alumni (plural). It is also alumni when speaking of mixed gender groups.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by PenguinTrax

OK, this is nit-picking, but the proper term is alumna for women, alumnae for a group of them.

For men, it is alumnus (singular) and alumni (plural). It is also alumni when speaking of mixed gender groups.

I know, but I didn't feel like going that far into it.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by James

So the big question is: Do you think that using GC as a a market to shop for a sorority, or even sorority shopping in general, is a good or bad thing?

To get this thread back on topic, I thought I'd take a stab at James' question.

Since I'm not an AI, my opinion is probably different from those who are AI or who are pursuing AI. Having said that, I think (my opinion only, obviously) that GC can be a useful tool for simply learning which orgs are NPC, which are local, what the difference is between them, and basic info like that. Since there isn't a campus (that I know of, anyway) that houses all 26 NPCs, it is likely that potential AIs are unfamiliar with a good number of them. GC can serve as a place to educate people about which orgs are even out there.

But, to try to learn about a specific org's policy on GC is probably not ideal. Since there are lots of links here to specific NPC websites, then GC can serve as the springboard for more in-depth research about specific groups. But, again, to try to take it further than that on here is probably going to steer some people in the wrong direction.

So, I think GC is not a good place for sorority-shopping, so-to-speak, but I think it can be a good place to learn about what sororities are even "available" should one decide she wants to look around.

I don't want to even touch the second part of your question, James. I can see good and bad points to sorority shopping... I'm going to just sit on that fence until I hear more arguments for or against it.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by MBurden

If you would review the message boards, and you clearly haven't, those seeking to join a sorority through AI don't "shop" on these boards...there is an unwritten rule that you don't mention the name of the sorority that you are seeking to join until AFTER you have been initiated. This is for alot of reasons, mainly, because it's an individual choice and isn't anyone else's business.

Yes they do.

If you read the threads, you would see that many comment that they are pursuing multiple groups at the same time. THAT is shopping, plain and simple. It's irrelevent if they actually SAY what groups they are going to.

Those of us who see those comments, and are then approached by them for help are much less likely to put 100% effort into helping them.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by kddani

Why do you want to join a sorority if you think so poorly of them, then?

That would be my question too......

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

I don't want to even touch the second part of your question, James. I can see good and bad points to sorority shopping... I'm going to just sit on that fence until I hear more arguments for or against it.

A woman should be joining a group that she feels (or has) a connection with. If she's shopping around then she obviously doesn't have one that she feels a connection with.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by SmartBlondeGPhB

A woman should be joining a group that she feels (or has) a connection with. If she's shopping around then she obviously doesn't have one that she feels a connection with.

Very true.

But, to play devil's advocate, a woman might have a connection with women in ABC, but may strongly support (through time, $, whatever) XYZ's philanthropy. So, her choice might depend on what she values more at the time - already established friendships with a less-than-appealing philanthropy or potential friendships built over a common dedication to an extremely appealing philanthropy.

Like I said earlier, I can see both sides. I think some women just want to join any sorority however they can. This type of "shopping" irritates me (although, I understand the argument that that's what undergrad PNMs are doing during rush; I also understand the rebuttal that all the groups are aware that they're being compared by PNMs). But, I think women can have connections to more than one group, in which case "shopping" isn't as offensive.

-I dunno... I'm still on the fence

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Very true.

But, to play devil's advocate, a woman might have a connection with women in ABC, but may strongly support (through time, $, whatever) XYZ's philanthropy. So, her choice might depend on what she values more at the time - already established friendships with a less-than-appealing philanthropy or potential friendships built over a common dedication to an extremely appealing philanthropy.

She's going to pick a philanthropy over already established FRIENDS??????? I really hope someone wouldn't actually do that.

I support Zeta's philanthropy every year (in fact my entire alumnae chapter does). That doesn't mean that I want (or need) to be a Zeta. I support many philanthropic endeavors outside of Gamma Phi Beta, I don't depend on Gamma Phi to give me all of my community service opportunities.

My alumnae chapter's last AI has the following story (for an example). She went to a college without a greek system, and had moved around quite a bit mostly due to being in the military. She was approaching the time when she wanted to leave the military and settle down with her young family. She wanted to get involved with a women's group that could also give her opportunities to help out college aged women. She stumbled onto GC, saw that I live in her general area and approached me about it. I met with her, introduced her to some of the other alumnae in her area (a bit away from me actually) and got her coming to our events. She found some of them that she has quite a bit in common with and she lives near one of our collegiate chapters. After a number of months, she was inivited to join and the rest is history.....

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by James

So the big question is: Do you think that using GC as a a market to shop for a sorority, or even sorority shopping in general, is a good or bad thing?

What should be done if anything about it?

Or is it something that doesn't matter at all?

If the NPC organizations wanted to make AI a highly publicized activity, they would do so by aggressively promoting it within their memberships and holding open house events for PNAMs.

I've said this on another thread. NPC and its member organizations werefounded for the benefit of undergraduate membership. Alumnae membership is a completely separate bag and more of a way to keep members connected through friendship, community service and keeping the collegiate arm running through long-term strategic planning and programming.

Many alumnae are uninvolved because, quite frankly, there's no compelling reason for them to stay involved. Their membership won't be revoked if they never contribute another service hour in the name of sisterhood or pay a penny to the Foundation.

Sorority shopping would be a great thing is AI was structured as a recruitment-oriented activity. It's not. AI is an honor given to a few whom the sorority believes will add prestige, honor and/or service to the sorority. Once initated, AI's are sisters. Sure their experiences are a bit different from someone who had 4 years as a college member. That doesn't mean they won't make great advisers or alumnae officers once they get up to speed on sorority policies and activities-- heck, many of the alumnae advisers and officers I have worked with over the years have had to completely re-learn their sorority ABC's because they were not actively involved in undergrad or its been years since they have been involved and things have changed.

For those telling us that collegiate members are ungrateful, lazy and complain about all of the work: here's a cookie. Tell me what college students are happy about all of the work involved in classes that they have voluntarily registered for? If someone is going to transfer to another school or break up with her boyfriend due to peer pressure, that isn't due to the organization: it is that individual's personal sense of self that should be blamed. And just because you don't know any sorority alumnae who stayed active post college doesn't mean they don't exist.

Sorority as a resume builder? You must be joking. I am loathe to put my lengthy alumnae involvement on a resume: I'm not interested in being a martyr for the "Why don't you stand up and show people your involvement?" cause. Post-college, professionals and academics view Greek life differently. The "alumnae network" is something that you seek out by making calls, emails and sending letters-- not an established party line that finds you a job with an alumna. This doesn't make me less proud of my membership-- but there is a time and a place. I wouldn't list my faith-based activities on a resume, either. Discrimination exists, and I'd rather not be passed over for a job or a program because of someone else's personal biases or in trying to make a statement for all of Greekdom.

Shame on anyone speaking poorly of our collegiate members. These girls are incredibly overprogrammed, balancing school, sorority and life (which for many includes working at a real job), and the angst that comes with being 17-24. They're learning how to be an adult, be out on their own and how to make responsible choices. I applaud them for their service, programming and activities. Like it or not, collegians come first. We were founded for the benefit of undergraduate students, and that will continue to be our focus until NPC changes their creed from "We as undergraduate members..." And we're not there yet.

[Adelphean]

Originally Posted by MBurden

Yeah! You better believe alot of the sorority members complained all through college about the things they had to do....I lived in a dorm for 3 years and they had their meetings on Monday evenings and would get in large groups while they were getting ready...standing between an open doorway and an echoing hall and you could hear them complain all the way down the hall of how they 'couldn't stand' to make another trip to a nursing home or 'didn't have time' to 'fool' with tutoring at a local elementary school with at-risk kids.

I had a roommate that SLASHED HER WRISTS in the dorm bathroom because she was formally kicked out of her sorority because of a nasty rumor about something she supposedly did that was started by her boyfrriend's ex-fiance...the Greek system at the school was so powerful that she wanted to be dead rather than to continue classes with everyone knowing she had been kicked out. Thank God she survived.

I had another close friend that only took classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays while her mother was undergoing Chemotherapy for breast cancer and submitted a formal request to the Sorority to miss all of the weekly meetings on Mondays so she could be with her mother for her treatments (she had no father and her mother was single)...you know what they told her? "You need to re-assess your priorities!" She did...by de-activating. If they couldn't support her while her mother was undergoing life-saving procedures, in her mind, she didn't need them.

Alexandra Robbins? Is that you?! I see you're working on the sequel to 'Pledged'! Can't wait! I'm shaking with anticipation!