Help..I have been rejected by sororities :'(

[stw11]

I go to a Canadian university, which has very few, small (compared to the US) sororities. The girls are very nice and amazing. I participated in winter informal recruitment and did not get bids from the three chapters whose recruitment parties I went to. They had limits on the number of ladies they could admit for the winter, so I decided to try again in the fall formal recruitment...which I recently did, and to my disappointment I was dropped first by the chapters I had visited in the previous winter recruitment (but I guess it makes a bit of sense that since I did not get in the first time, the girls would not want to consider me the second time? Girls who have met me at the previous recruitment definitely recognised me), leaving me with only one chapter for the invitational round. (Yes, there are very few sororities here). I went to the parties and feel that everyone was so welcoming and I fit perfectly in their chapters! We had lots of things to talk about, and shared common interests in philanthropies, etc.

The sad truth was that I was released before pref night... I felt like I was just so close to getting a bid!

I have good academics, well-rounded extracurriculars from volunteering to sports, I'm not a social butterfly but not shy either. I could often strike up conversations with strangers. I am not too talkative but am optimistic, and have a great personality. I have always longed to belong in a sorority in university, and feel that I really fit the image! The problem is that prior to recruitment I did not know any of the girls who were in sororities..and my social circle was very limited.

I think that if I attempt another round of informal recruitment in the upcoming winter semester, that would be extremely weird, right? Would I seem way too desperate?
I understand that many people would say that: maybe sororities are just not for you..but I mean, I really want to join one, and it would be very, very sad when I look back on my college career and regret that I had not been part of this amazing group.


Please share your thoughts, experiences! Advice is really appreciated

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by stw11

I go to a Canadian university, which has very few, small (compared to the US) sororities. The girls are very nice and amazing. I participated in winter informal recruitment and did not get bids from the three chapters whose recruitment parties I went to. They had limits on the number of ladies they could admit for the winter, so I decided to try again in the fall formal recruitment...which I recently did, and to my disappointment I was dropped first by the chapters I had visited in the previous winter recruitment (but I guess it makes a bit of sense that since I did not get in the first time, the girls would not want to consider me the second time? Girls who have met me at the previous recruitment definitely recognised me), leaving me with only one chapter for the invitational round. (Yes, there are very few sororities here). I went to the parties and feel that everyone was so welcoming and I fit perfectly in their chapters! We had lots of things to talk about, and shared common interests in philanthropies, etc.

The sad truth was that I was released before pref night... I felt like I was just so close to getting a bid!

I have good academics, well-rounded extracurriculars from volunteering to sports, I'm not a social butterfly but not shy either. I could often strike up conversations with strangers. I am not too talkative but am optimistic, and have a great personality. I have always longed to belong in a sorority in university, and feel that I really fit the image! The problem is that prior to recruitment I did not know any of the girls who were in sororities..and my social circle was very limited.

I think that if I attempt another round of informal recruitment in the upcoming winter semester, that would be extremely weird, right? Would I seem way too desperate?
I understand that many people would say that: maybe sororities are just not for you..but I mean, I really want to join one, and it would be very, very sad when I look back on my college career and regret that I had not been part of this amazing group.


Please share your thoughts, experiences! Advice is really appreciated

QFP.

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by stw11

I have good academics, well-rounded extracurriculars from volunteering to sports, I'm not a social butterfly but not shy either. I could often strike up conversations with strangers. I am not too talkative but am optimistic, and have a great personality. I have always longed to belong in a sorority in university, and feel that I really fit the image! The problem is that prior to recruitment I did not know any of the girls who were in sororities..and my social circle was very limited.

Bingo.

[stw11]

what does QFP mean?
Also, if I get to know more girls before the next recruitment, would you recommend I try again?

[Katmandu]

I am sorry this didn't work out for you. My advice is to put this on the back burner for now, since recruitment is over. Don't beat yourself up. You will never know if it was numbers, not knowing enough sisters, or something random.

Keep a positive attitude and try to really engage in your classes and extracurriculars and reach out to meet new people. If you meet sorority women and they encourage you to rush again in the winter, then great. If not, you have expanded your circle of friends. Perhaps someone familiar with the culture of Canadian greek systems can weigh in.

Take care. It's hard to meet this kind of disappointment, but hopefully there is a lot going on at your school to enjoy.

[stw11]

Thank you Katmandu! That really helped!

[ColdInCanada11]

If you want to PM your school I might be able to give you more school specific advice, but following Katmandu, get out there and meet people! I would recommend watching the chapters' facebook pages, just to see when they have philanthropy events. If possible, try and connect with a few members one on one, be it through class or another student group. (Don't be creepy, though.) Also, try to ditch the "I have the image" mentality- you just need to be you

[CassyADPi]

As a Canadian Greek I'm sorry to hear that ! Just try and relax and be yourself during recruitment. I know talking to new people can be hard during formal recruitment. Does your campus do any COB (continuous ongoing bidding) afterwards? I know as far as our campus goes these events tend to be a lot less stressful (we go bowling, or sledding, or throw board game nights, etc), and I find it's a lot easier to get to know people. That might be something you should contact the chapters on your campus about and see if it's an option.

[sigma_tri]

my advice is to not go out in spring. take this semester to get to know some of the actives in the chapters and do some networking and then go out in the fall