Why you didn't make it into a sorority.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by GlickThetaTau

I have heard very few stories of people not getting a bid for the organization, in fact it is much more common for people to get 2 or 3 bids. One story does stick out. A girl cheated with the boyfriend of one of the sisters. The couple broke up after days of the cheating, broken up by the guy. The sister was an alumnus, and despite their differencies the girl and the sister became friends, but despite this fact the other sisters put their noses where they didn't belong and did not give this girl a bid, even though it was her one desire during college. She went to almost every rush event for 2 weeks but because of this one event (yes it is pretty big) she was not given a bid and treated very poorly by the sisters. Essentially they sisters had made up their mind before they even met the girl.

Now if one does not get a bid i have to think that they did something to anger the members of the organization. It has been my experience that organizations want numbers right off the bat.

It doesn't sound like you're very familiar with NPC recruitment.

[Symbal]

I went through formal once, got cut the night before pref, and was not invited to any sisterhoods during COB. It stings very much, even now. This thread, in the very beginning, damn near made me give up my greek hopes. I would like to rush again in the fall (Spring Recruitment wasn't an option for me), but I will be living in my own apartment, and credit wise I will be a junior. I will be here another three years because I am not yet accepted into my major's main program. I'm afraid that the sororities will see my 'junior' status and completely shut me down because of it. It's a likely possibility.

This thread is certainly dampening to a PNM's spirit.

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by Symbal

I went through formal once, got cut the night before pref, and was not invited to any sisterhoods during COB. It stings very much, even now. This thread, in the very beginning, damn near made me give up my greek hopes. I would like to rush again in the fall (Spring Recruitment wasn't an option for me), but I will be living in my own apartment, and credit wise I will be a junior. I will be here another three years because I am not yet accepted into my major's main program. I'm afraid that the sororities will see my 'junior' status and completely shut me down because of it. It's a likely possibility.

This thread is certainly dampening to a PNM's spirit.

The good part about your next three years is that you'll have an opportunity to explain your unique academic situation to your recruiters. The reason they usually go for freshmen and sophomores is for that three year window. Now you have it. You're not going anywhere anytime soon. I think you should try again.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by Symbal

I went through formal once, got cut the night before pref, and was not invited to any sisterhoods during COB. It stings very much, even now. This thread, in the very beginning, damn near made me give up my greek hopes. I would like to rush again in the fall (Spring Recruitment wasn't an option for me), but I will be living in my own apartment, and credit wise I will be a junior. I will be here another three years because I am not yet accepted into my major's main program. I'm afraid that the sororities will see my 'junior' status and completely shut me down because of it. It's a likely possibility.

This thread is certainly dampening to a PNM's spirit.

I understand that a lot of the discussion in this thread is a total downer to a PNM, but a lot of it is true. This thread was created to serve as a reality check for PNMs with really unrealistic expectations (e.g. the beauty queens with 4.0s who can't understand why no sorority would want them despite their nasty personalities, or the tatted up biker chick PNM rushing at a traditional southern campus, etc.) A lot of what's discussed here is really just common sense....

Don't let a thread on an internet message board cloud your opinion on Greek life. None of us know your school. It's up to you to sort through all the advice and opinions on Greek chat and decide for yourself what's applicable to your situation. If you're rushing as a junior at a traditional Greek system where 99% of the PNMs are freshmen, you're not going to be placed. If you're rushing as a junior at a very laid back school with a small and very open Greek system then you might have a better shot, and there are all sorts of schools that are in between. This thread is not meant to be all encompassing for every situation -- some women are able to relate to some of these stories and this information is completely irrelevant for others. Take a brutally honest look at your situation and decide for yourself.

[Drolefille]

^^You're so good at talks like that

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by jessXIca

women rushing panhellenic sororities cannot receive more than one bid

Maybe I've misunderstood, but from what I've read here on Greek Chat, isn't it possible - though perhaps not likely - to receive more than one snap bid during formal? And can't a woman receive separate bids to different NPC chapters during COR/informal recruitment?

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

It doesn't sound like you're very familiar with NPC recruitment.

Maybe. However, this comment "She went to almost every rush event for 2 weeks..." sounds typical of NPC's COR or informal recruitment. Perhaps that is one of the ways some/all of the NPC chapters recruit on his campus.

[dgdramadawg]

Originally Posted by jessXIca

women rushing panhellenic sororities cannot receive more than one bid

On my campus, it was possible to receive multiple snap bids or informal recruitment bids. However, it was not possible to receive multiple formal recruitment bids.

[Symbal]

I also have issue with "You did something wrong, that's why you were cut." But those of us who WERE cut will not know what that specific thing IS because we will never be told. How do we accept that, then expect to improve on it if we know nothing about what got us cut in the first place? Maybe it was my being too shy, or it very well could have been my pants were from old navy instead of Saks. The advice is so vague it's barely worth looking at.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Symbal

I also have issue with "You did something wrong, that's why you were cut." But those of us who WERE cut will not know what that specific thing IS because we will never be told. How do we accept that, then expect to improve on it if we know nothing about what got us cut in the first place? Maybe it was my being too shy, or it very well could have been my pants were from old navy instead of Saks. The advice is so vague it's barely worth looking at.

I think you missed where achiosnap said:

"Don't let a thread on an internet message board cloud your opinion on Greek life. None of us know your school. It's up to you to sort through all the advice and opinions on Greek chat and decide for yourself what's applicable to your situation."

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by TSteven

Maybe I've misunderstood, but from what I've read here on Greek Chat, isn't it possible - though perhaps not likely - to receive more than one snap bid during formal? And can't a woman receive separate bids to different NPC chapters during COR/informal recruitment?



Maybe. However, this comment "She went to almost every rush event for 2 weeks..." sounds typical of NPC's COR or informal recruitment. Perhaps that is one of the ways some/all of the NPC chapters recruit on his campus.

Yeah, I guess if you put it that way, in those instances it's possible. But it certainly is very possible to not get a bid during informal since spots in chapters are often very limited in number. It doesn't sound like this guy really understands the way sorority recruitment - formal or informal - works.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by Symbal

I also have issue with "You did something wrong, that's why you were cut." But those of us who WERE cut will not know what that specific thing IS because we will never be told. How do we accept that, then expect to improve on it if we know nothing about what got us cut in the first place? Maybe it was my being too shy, or it very well could have been my pants were from old navy instead of Saks. The advice is so vague it's barely worth looking at.

Then don't look at it. That's kind of what I was getting at.

PNMs will never know why they're cut. It's not just because membership selection can't be discussed. It's because a lot of times the members themselves don't even know all the reasons. It's not like a sorority will hold up a picture of a PNM during voting and everyone will be like "OMG she wore Old Navy instead of True Religion jeans, she is SO cut."

Unless a PNM is a complete basketcase or is known as the biggest ho on campus, there's almost never one specific reason a PNM is cut. Suffice it to say, sometimes there's nothing you can do to "improve" because you probably don't need to improve... it's either a bad match or there are a limited number of spaces and the sorority has to take the best matches first.

This is a really bad analogy but here goes: pretend a man is trying to win your heart. He may be really nice, funny, cute, whatever but something just doesn't "click" with you. He's still a really great person, and you wish the best for him, but he's just not right for you. There's nothing he'd be able to do to "improve" so you'd be more likely to date him. It's not about his jeans or his shyness. It's just not a good personality match. A lot of times PNMs just don't click with a sorority either and it's not personal.

I hope that maybe sheds a little bit of perspective on this....you're only going to make yourself crazy if you try to figure out what you did "wrong" and get discouraged by anecdotes relayed on Greek Chat. I re-read your recruitment story and your posts since you tried COB and I know this has been really hard for you. If you want to try recruitment again, you probably shouldn't keep reading the bad rush stories and the "why you got cut" threads because it's only going to freak you out. These threads are only designed to give PNMs an "aha" moment as to why they got cut ("Oh, so Ole Miss sororities wouldn't bid a pregnant junior with a 2.2 GPA?"). If the advice doesn't make sense to you, it's probably because it doesn't apply.

Originally Posted by AChiOhSnap

Unless a PNM is a complete basketcase or is known as the biggest ho on campus, there's almost never one specific reason a PNM is cut.

You might also want to add "too much airing of grievances on GreekChat" to that list.

Just sayin'. Especially if the PNM is going to make another attempt to rush and hopes to be successful this time around.

[daydreamer1112]

Wow achiohsnap, I'm proud to call you my sister! Thanks for the amazing advice--I could have used a voice like yours when I was rushing and wondering why some houses cut me.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by daydreamer1112

Also, I don't agree with the notion that if you get cut from your favorite house you should drop out and try again next year. If they don't want you once, why would they want you later? And why would you want to be with a group of girls who didn't appreciate you the first time they met you? Have some self-respect, and examine why you want to be in a sorority in the first place. Most people who have their hearts set on one place feel that way because it's the "best" with the "hottest" girls that frats like the most. What the hell? You shouldn't join a sorority because you want to be in a brothel. Look for girls who appreciate you and trust the system to find you the group you belong with, regardless of what the frats think of them.

If you see yourself in that place and that place only...why would you take something else, taking someone's spot who might be more whole heartedly "into" the other group, and therefore a more productive member for them? If I hadn't gotten Alpha Gam, I would have tried to COB in the spring. I felt like I had to suicide, because I didn't want to take a spot in Chi O meant for a girl that was totally in love with Chi O (I mean, theoretically assuming I would have gotten a bid, which of course I don't know...and I still thought they were really awesome, but they weren't "home").

Sometimes people just get skipped over...it doesn't mean their favorite house doesn't like them. It's partially a numbers game...and one girl might be a really great girl, but she didn't bring her "A" game on the first night and got cut because her personality didn't show. After a semester on campus, she might have a better chance. Yeah, there's the risk of getting cut again, but it might be worth the risk.

[NikkiB]

during rush at FSU, PNMs have to go to ALL events their invited to, or they get automatically dropped completely. is it not like that elsewhere?