Sophomore Rushing Question/ House Live-In Requirement Question

[bell515]

Hi! Long time lurker, first time poster. My post is split into two parts/questions.

1) So I will be rushing in the fall as a sophomore, after rushing last fall as a freshman (obviously lol). During rush last year, I gave a really poor rush--I tried too hard to impress them, wasn't acting like myself, and just generally didn't present who I really was. I got dropped from my top two choices and I just didn't feel ready to go Greek yet (this + the difficulty of adjusting to school), so I dropped after second invite.

Two of my good friends ended up in the same house, so I was brought along to a lot of their open events and met a lot of the other girls in the house and became friends with them over the course of the school year. Being quasi-involved with Greek life this way made me reconsider rushing, and I decided to give it another shot this year.

Both of my friends are very involved with the house and are really excited for me to rush and (so they say) pledge house XYZ. They've never promised me a bid, but when I express nervousness about rushing, say things like "don't be nervous about it!" and "there's a 99% chance you'll be in XYZ." I know nothing is for sure, but I would like to know, realistically, how much better of a chance I have of getting into XYZ because I have two good friends there and am friendly with a good number of the other girls.

I'm trying to keep an open mind, and will obviously give all the houses that invite me back the same chance I give XYZ, but it's hard not to get my hopes up and set my sights on XYZ when my friends are saying things like that (For reference/context, I have a fairly high GPA and am involved on campus, and I haven't done anything that would necessitate a poor reputation among the sororities. I'm at a Big10 school that does not require letters of rec and most sophomores who go through rush get a bid.)

2) Assuming I go through rush and pledge a house--Since I'm a sophomore, I am living in an apartment this school year and cannot drop my lease for that. I will be studying abroad second semester junior year, so I can't do a full live in year junior year, and I'm on track to graduate a semester early so I can't live in senior year. The pledge classes are very large at my school and some of the houses don't even have a live in requirement but assuming I am given a bid for a house that does have a requirement, how strict are they on that? Would they drop me after learning I cannot do a full year?

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this! (I know it's a little wordy) And thanks so anyone who responds!

[33girl]

1) It depends on the amount of weight your friends carry in the chapter and the desirability of the other rushees. It also depends on whether this is a chapter that consistently makes quota and is at or over total.

2) Are there typically women in the sororities at your school who are RAs or other things that would prohibit their living in the house? Or is it pick one or the other?

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by bell515

Hi! Long time lurker, first time poster. My post is split into two parts/questions.

1) So I will be rushing in the fall as a sophomore, after rushing last fall as a freshman (obviously lol). During rush last year, I gave a really poor rush--I tried too hard to impress them, wasn't acting like myself, and just generally didn't present who I really was. I got dropped from my top two choices and I just didn't feel ready to go Greek yet (this + the difficulty of adjusting to school), so I dropped after second invite.

Two of my good friends ended up in the same house, so I was brought along to a lot of their open events and met a lot of the other girls in the house and became friends with them over the course of the school year. Being quasi-involved with Greek life this way made me reconsider rushing, and I decided to give it another shot this year.

Both of my friends are very involved with the house and are really excited for me to rush and (so they say) pledge house XYZ. They've never promised me a bid, but when I express nervousness about rushing, say things like "don't be nervous about it!" and "there's a 99% chance you'll be in XYZ." I know nothing is for sure, but I would like to know, realistically, how much better of a chance I have of getting into XYZ because I have two good friends there and am friendly with a good number of the other girls.

I'm trying to keep an open mind, and will obviously give all the houses that invite me back the same chance I give XYZ, but it's hard not to get my hopes up and set my sights on XYZ when my friends are saying things like that (For reference/context, I have a fairly high GPA and am involved on campus, and I haven't done anything that would necessitate a poor reputation among the sororities. I'm at a Big10 school that does not require letters of rec and most sophomores who go through rush get a bid.)

No one here will be able to tell you your chances of receiving a bid to XYZ. Think of all of the factors to consider: the fact that you rushed last year and dropped out, you have friends in one chapter, you're a sophomore, etc. Plus, we weren't with you when you went through recruitment last year, and we won't see how you interact with sisters this year when going from house to house. How could we, not knowing you, spit out the chances of you receiving a bid? You need to just go through recruitment, be YOU, and hope that everything works out.

And yes, there are definitely benefits to personally knowing sisters, and it obviously helps if you're friends with girls in a particular chapter, but in no way does this assure that you'll have a bid from that chapter on bid day.

Also, PLEASE keep in mind that if you have a couple friends in a chapter of 40, or 50, or 100 sisters, that your friends make up a very small percentage of the chapter. Their opinions may not count for as much as they let on. 99% is almost a guaranteed bid, and nothing in life is guaranteed. I know they're your friends, but they're not doing you any favors by telling you this.

2) Assuming I go through rush and pledge a house--Since I'm a sophomore, I am living in an apartment this school year and cannot drop my lease for that. I will be studying abroad second semester junior year, so I can't do a full live in year junior year, and I'm on track to graduate a semester early so I can't live in senior year. The pledge classes are very large at my school and some of the houses don't even have a live in requirement but assuming I am given a bid for a house that does have a requirement, how strict are they on that? Would they drop me after learning I cannot do a full year?

This all depends on the campus/chapter.

[bell515]

Originally Posted by 33girl

1) It depends on the amount of weight your friends carry in the chapter and the desirability of the other rushees. It also depends on whether this is a chapter that consistently makes quota and is at or over total.

2) Are there typically women in the sororities at your school who are RAs or other things that would prohibit their living in the house? Or is it pick one or the other?

1) Thank you! I would think that this chapter consistently makes quota, as it is a large house, which I know would make it more difficult to get a bid.

2) I'm not sure--I would assume that in those cases they would allow the girls to either live in the following year or not live in at all.

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

No one here will be able to tell you your chances of receiving a bid to XYZ. Think of all of the factors to consider: the fact that you rushed last year and dropped out, you have friends in one chapter, you're a sophomore, etc. How could we, not knowing you, spit out the chances of you receiving a bid? You need to just go through recruitment, be YOU, and hope that everything works out.

And PLEASE keep in mind that if you have a couple friends in a chapter of 40, or 50, or 100 sisters, that your friends make up a very small percentage of the chapter. Their opinions may not count for as much as they let on. 99% is almost a guaranteed bid, and nothing in life is guaranteed. I know they're your friends, but they're not doing you any favors by telling you this.



This all depends on the campus/chapter.

I know! It's just that I've seen such opposing views on this site regard that that I wanted to see if there was any cut and dry (so to speak) answer in my case. But thank you for the advice!

And I do need to keep that in mind sometimes! I know that, for the most part, they are saying it to take my mind off being worried, but it has been difficult to find on here (greekchat) how much influence having multiple friends in a house has on whether or not you are bid and I just wanted to see if anyone had any comments on it.

Thank you both for your response!

[AGDee]

Keep in mind too that the friends you made who were also freshman last year haven't even been through recruitment on the other side and may not even realize yet how much or how little input they will have during membership selection.

[Titchou]

About the live-in policy, why not ask the 2 friends? they're in, they should know the rules.

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by bell515

Hi! Long time lurker, first time poster. My post is split into two parts/questions.

1) So I will be rushing in the fall as a sophomore, after rushing last fall as a freshman (obviously lol). During rush last year, I gave a really poor rush--I tried too hard to impress them, wasn't acting like myself, and just generally didn't present who I really was. I got dropped from my top two choices and I just didn't feel ready to go Greek yet (this + the difficulty of adjusting to school), so I dropped after second invite.

Two of my good friends ended up in the same house, so I was brought along to a lot of their open events and met a lot of the other girls in the house and became friends with them over the course of the school year. Being quasi-involved with Greek life this way made me reconsider rushing, and I decided to give it another shot this year.

Both of my friends are very involved with the house and are really excited for me to rush and (so they say) pledge house XYZ. They've never promised me a bid, but when I express nervousness about rushing, say things like "don't be nervous about it!" and "there's a 99% chance you'll be in XYZ." I know nothing is for sure, but I would like to know, realistically, how much better of a chance I have of getting into XYZ because I have two good friends there and am friendly with a good number of the other girls.

I'm trying to keep an open mind, and will obviously give all the houses that invite me back the same chance I give XYZ, but it's hard not to get my hopes up and set my sights on XYZ when my friends are saying things like that (For reference/context, I have a fairly high GPA and am involved on campus, and I haven't done anything that would necessitate a poor reputation among the sororities. I'm at a Big10 school that does not require letters of rec and most sophomores who go through rush get a bid.)

2) Assuming I go through rush and pledge a house--Since I'm a sophomore, I am living in an apartment this school year and cannot drop my lease for that. I will be studying abroad second semester junior year, so I can't do a full live in year junior year, and I'm on track to graduate a semester early so I can't live in senior year. The pledge classes are very large at my school and some of the houses don't even have a live in requirement but assuming I am given a bid for a house that does have a requirement, how strict are they on that? Would they drop me after learning I cannot do a full year?

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this! (I know it's a little wordy) And thanks so anyone who responds!

I am from a Big 10 school as well. I know that most of the Big 10 isn't as big on recs as other places in the country, but some organizations require recs as a national policy. I don't think there is any Big 10 school where recs would hurt you. As a sophomore, I would get as many as possible.

[kchaptergphib]

I agree that your friends, although trying to reassure you, are probably not helping by saying you are so likely to get a bid from their group. At the B1G Ten schools to which I am familiar, the chapters are large enough that a handful girls might not sway an entire chapter, especially when they are meeting other qualified women who are freshmen (don't have a history of dropping from recruitment). I'm sorry if that sounded harsh; I'm just trying to be truthful. Sophomores may very well get bids during FR at your school, but I'd be a bit surprised if sophomores who are re-rushing didn't have a more difficult time of it. Especially those who are re-rushing for a particular house. So, I would take the advice and try and get recs (this will also show your good gpa and involvement in the past year, which should certainly help), particularly ones from alumnae who know you well/can write good, personal recs.
As for living in, as people have said, that will vary from chapter to chapter. What I will say is yes, the chapters are large so perhaps some women will never live in the house. Maybe. Each chapter should be able to tell you what their live-in policy is. Many chapters have women who go abroad for a semester. Sometimes one semester will fulfill a live-in requirement, but be prepared you may pay for the full year (or, at least, more than a single semester's cost), as the house still needs to run, even if you are not there. Whether you can live out of the house without paying a premium or not might also depend on house or merit points (standing for class, gpa, involvement in other campus groups, etc.), which other sisters might have more of, as they've been in the chapter longer. Again, these are all things that vary from chapter to chapter, and I would ask this during first rounds, if I were you. You need to keep as open a mind (and options) as possible in order to have a more successful rush this time around, but you'll also want to know the chapters' live-in policies, in case you can narrow it down upon requirements. I hope that all made sense. Good luck to you!

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by kchaptergphib

.
As for living in, as people have said, that will vary from chapter to chapter. What I will say is yes, the chapters are large so perhaps some women will never live in the house. Maybe. Each chapter should be able to tell you what their live-in policy is. Many chapters have women who go abroad for a semester. Sometimes one semester will fulfill a live-in requirement, but be prepared you may pay for the full year (or, at least, more than a single semester's cost), as the house still needs to run, even if you are not there. Whether you can live out of the house without paying a premium or not might also depend on house or merit points (standing for class, gpa, involvement in other campus groups, etc.), which other sisters might have more of, as they've been in the chapter longer. Again, these are all things that vary from chapter to chapter, and I would ask this during first rounds, if I were you. You need to keep as open a mind (and options) as possible in order to have a more successful rush this time around, but you'll also want to know the chapters' live-in policies, in case you can narrow it down upon requirements. I hope that all made sense. Good luck to you!

THIS (bolded).

It is incredibly expensive to operate a facility. The bills have to be paid. Maintenance and upkeep are outrageous. Members have an obligation to support that facility. It is not reasonable to say "I want to be a member but -" and then list all the reasons you cannot live in the facility. You can't cherry pick when it comes to finances and membership responsibilities.

Not harsh. FACT. I'm not mad. I want you to go into this with your eyes wide open and know that membership has responsibilities that come before privileges. Personally I really hope that you find a home, I do. I hope that for every PNM who wants what we have.

[ChioLu]

Originally Posted by bell515

2) Assuming I go through rush and pledge a house--Since I'm a sophomore, I am living in an apartment this school year and cannot drop my lease for that. I will be studying abroad second semester junior year, so I can't do a full live in year junior year, and I'm on track to graduate a semester early so I can't live in senior year. The pledge classes are very large at my school and some of the houses don't even have a live in requirement but assuming I am given a bid for a house that does have a requirement, how strict are they on that? Would they drop me after learning I cannot do a full year?

I wouldn't dwell on the live-in issue prior to receiving a bid.
At UCLA, several sororities let members SPLIT a year contract to live in the house. So you could split the year with someone also going abroad (just the opposite semester as you). Or, since you are graduating early, find either a semester abroad 1st semester or someone who can't live in 1st semester but wants to live in 2nd semester.
This is do-able. Don't see it as a deal-breaker.

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by bell515

During rush last year, I gave a really poor rush--I tried too hard to impress them, wasn't acting like myself, and just generally didn't present who I really was. I got dropped from my top two choices and I just didn't feel ready to go Greek yet (this + the difficulty of adjusting to school), so I dropped after second invite.

I'm trying to keep an open mind, and will obviously give all the houses that invite me back the same chance I give XYZ, but it's hard not to get my hopes up and set my sights on XYZ when my friends are saying things like that . I'm at a Big10 school that does not require letters of rec and most sophomores who go through rush get a bid.

Thank you for waiting one year to finish your recruitment experience. Glad you've been a GC lurker for some of your information.

What if you should get dropped from your top two choices THIS go-around (including from your friends group)? Are you sure your mind is truly open to all the experiences each NPC group has to offer?

This is the time of year I overhear young women in coffee shops discussing recruitment, and the "important" distinctions between NPC groups on their respective campuses, with newbies to the rush scene. It's like hearing tent talk all over again, and I wish I could tell these newbies NO! YOU DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS GOSSIP!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by ChioLu

I wouldn't dwell on the live-in issue prior to receiving a bid.
At UCLA, several sororities let members SPLIT a year contract to live in the house. So you could split the year with someone also going abroad (just the opposite semester as you). Or, since you are graduating early, find either a semester abroad 1st semester or someone who can't live in 1st semester but wants to live in 2nd semester.
This is do-able. Don't see it as a deal-breaker.

Splitting is definitely an option, but I'm not certain I'd wait until after getting a bid to find out. If some chapters have live-in requirements and others don't, I'd try to probe a bit on which ones are which and lean towards the ones that don't.