NPC rules - time for change

[FSUZeta]

Sadly I see this mind set all too frequently, both as an educator and as a sorority alum. Too many children who were raised to think they are exceptional, and because mom and dad snow plowed the way clear for them from toddlerhood past college, think that , to paraphrase the Pirate captain from Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, "rules? I like to think of them more as merely guidelines". Guidelines for others to follow.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Sadly I see this mind set all too frequently, both as an educator and as a sorority alum. Too many children who were raised to think they are exceptional, and because mom and dad snow plowed the way clear for them from toddlerhood past college, think that , to paraphrase the Pirate captain from Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, "rules? I like to think of them more as merely guidelines". Guidelines for others to follow.

YES!!! YESSSS!!!!!

[NYCMS]

If you've not read the petition page (link included here), there are many comments that reflect the OP's mindset..."why shouldn't we be allowed to re-rush", "it's not fair that I got into a house I don't like," "I changed schools and my sorority isn't here", etc. https://www.ipetitions.com/petition/npc-time-to-change

You don't have to work in education as FSUZeta does or in behavioral health as I do to see the mindset that drives this thinking. To be clear, I know many college kids and 20-somethings with a grounded sense of life, a terrific work ethic and an ability to make things work. However, what is disturbing to me is the trend of the mindset in the OP's writing, including how they view even therapy, the field in which I work...I recently talked to some therapists who work primarily with this age group and I asked what differences they saw in this group from people in their 30's and up. Here's what they said:

"This population looks at therapy and the therapist as a service provider...meaning they expect me (the therapist) to do the work, like ordering something online and the company delivers in within a few days. They get upset if they don't see change after 6 sessions, have no ability to be with uncomfortable feelings and don't seem to grasp what it takes to do hard work." (hence many that jump jobs every six months because "I'm not happy", "Management doesn't listen to me", "I should have gotten a promotion already").

I agree with FSUZeta about how they've been raised so it's no wonder they think their dream life should simply be 'delivered' to them without putting in the work and that the rules don't apply - after all Mom or Dad badgered the teacher to change their grade or some other situation where they (parents) forced the change. Again, I know many parents and kids who don't fit this profile, but so many that do and boy is it obvious on the petition.

Lord help us!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by NYCMS

If you've not read the petition page (link included here), there are many comments that reflect the OP's mindset..."why shouldn't we be allowed to re-rush", "it's not fair that I got into a house I don't like," "I changed schools and my sorority isn't here", etc. https://www.ipetitions.com/petition/npc-time-to-change

You don't have to work in education as FSUZeta does or in behavioral health as I do to see the mindset that drives this thinking. To be clear, I know many college kids and 20-somethings with a grounded sense of life, a terrific work ethic and an ability to make things work. However, what is disturbing to me is the trend of the mindset in the OP's writing, including how they view even therapy, the field in which I work...I recently talked to some therapists who work primarily with this age group and I asked what differences they saw in this group from people in their 30's and up. Here's what they said:

"This population looks at therapy and the therapist as a service provider...meaning they expect me (the therapist) to do the work, like ordering something online and the company delivers in within a few days. They get upset if they don't see change after 6 sessions, have no ability to be with uncomfortable feelings and don't seem to grasp what it takes to do hard work." (hence many that jump jobs every six months because "I'm not happy", "Management doesn't listen to me", "I should have gotten a promotion already").

I agree with FSUZeta about how they've been raised so it's no wonder they think their dream life should simply be 'delivered' to them without putting in the work and that the rules don't apply - after all Mom or Dad badgered the teacher to change their grade or some other situation where they (parents) forced the change. Again, I know many parents and kids who don't fit this profile, but so many that do and boy is it obvious on the petition.

Lord help us!

I guess I just don't understand the feeling that they were stuck. If they were truly that unhappy during their new member period, they could have dropped. No one forced them into initiation. The same goes for the OP.

What's truly upsetting is the line "the rules weren't explained to me" in its many shapes and forms. In other words, these young women thought they'd be able to go through initiation and drop out whenever they damn well pleased in order to join another. There was no commitment from them up front.

Of course, these are the very women we'd want to avoid having jump from organization to organization.

[Sciencewoman]

On the bright side, the petition has only gotten 209 signatures in 3+ years.

Today I'm going to a "Gen Z" workshop facilitated by a guest expert from another university. Very excited - - she was scheduled to present twice last year but her flights were canceled by the "bomb cyclone" and then the "polar vortex" - - it looks like we're free of any trendy weather phenomenon today!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

I believe some fraternities have a status for non-members to be social affiliates - participate in only the parties and social gatherings when for whatever reason they cannot fully join. I think that's where some confusion over fraternity switching comes from.

My bff’s ex-husband did this, but that was back when Ben Franklin was flying his kite. I don’t know if insurance and RM factors would permit this these days. Kevin, do you know?

Instead of saying you should be able to switch...how about a petition saying that a 4-6 week pledge program does not work for every chapter (especially larger ones) and is not a sufficient amount of time to decide whether one should make a lifetime commitment? You’re focusing on the result instead of (what is often) the cause.

And sometimes even if you do all this...people change. Chapters change. That’s part of life. Some of my sisters who said they would never speak to each other again have reconnected after years and everything is fine. You’re not going to be 19 forever. And there’s not a law saying the only way you can have forever friends is in a sorority.

[33girl]

NYCMS - that’s how many young people look at college as well, not to mention extracurricular activities. “You get out of it what you put into it” seems to have become as rarely used and understood of a phrase as “did you get more kerosene for the lamp?”

[carnation]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Instead of saying you should be able to switch...how about a petition saying that a 4-6 week pledge program does not work for every chapter (especially larger ones) and is not a sufficient amount of time to decide whether one should make a lifetime commitment? You’re focusing on the result instead of (what is often) the cause.

And sometimes even if you do all this...people change. Chapters change. That’s part of life. Some of my sisters who said they would never speak to each other again have reconnected after years and everything is fine. You’re not going to be 19 forever. And there’s not a law saying the only way you can have forever friends is in a sorority.

Yes! All this!

[carnation]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I guess I just don't understand the feeling that they were stuck. If they were truly that unhappy during their new member period, they could have dropped. No one forced them into initiation. The same goes for the OP.

What's truly upsetting is the line "the rules weren't explained to me" in its many shapes and forms. In other words, these young women thought they'd be able to go through initiation and drop out whenever they damn well pleased in order to join another. There was no commitment from them up front.

Of course, these are the very women we'd want to avoid having jump from organization to organization.

And this!!!

[SigmaCat]

"So I'm a senior transfer student with a 2.5 and I deactivated from Oozma Kappa at my old school after three semesters. Panhellenic told me I was eligible for recruitment. How come every house dropped me?" :P

[33girl]

^^^Exactly - as was mentioned at the beginning of the thread, even if on paper this is allowed in many IFC fraternities, in practice it’s a far different story. I guess the next step would be a lawsuit naming prior sorority membership as a protected class or something.

[Sororitysock]

Our Unanimous Agreements have kept us strong organizations for 117 years. That means we don't cater to the whims of a fickle young woman who decided to transfer colleges. Not our fault. Not our problem. You chose to throw your alumna membership away.

Anyone else think this is the same troll as the "my sister wants to AI" one that was here recently?