Secrets???

i know that each frat and sorority has stuff they keep secret like the intiations. i was just wondering if it's ok to tell certain people(like your best friend from kindergarten or the person you are going to marry). i'm not in a frat yet, so i don't mean any disrespect by this...i just don't know the rules on it. can anyone clear this up for me?

Originally posted by DKG:
i was just wondering if it's ok to tell certain people(like your best friend from kindergarten or the person you are going to marry)?

No, it is not okay to tell anyone outside of your Greek Letter Society. Rituals and secrets are intended to bond members together, and are considered sacrosanct.

[RUgreek]

I agree with that to a certain extent. Rituals and initiations, yes they are supposed to be esoteric or sacrosanct or whatever the term is, but I think as long as your not detailing things step by step or just generalizing about a few things there isn't anything wrong. No one should talk about the ritual I think, but the activities that aren't in the book shouldn't be a secret to speak about (as long as they wouldn't themselves be considered crimes that is). I'm not saying I do this, but for someone who was proud of their fraternitiy or sorority and wanted to help paint a picture to their friends about how much fun things were, why should it be a big secret? If you want a simple answer, speak to your national reps. and see what they think.

RUgreek

[etienneSAI]

no, it is never okay to tell anyone. i didn't tell my sister, my mother, my best friend...not anyone. however, when i was president last year, my rule about pleding my new girls was that they were not allowed to participate in anything that they would be embarassed or scared to tell thier parents about. if you can't tell someone what you do because it's THAT BAD, it's probably wrong. but if you DON'T tell someone what you do because you're LOYAL...that's trust and honesty within the organization.

etienne
sigma alpha iota-the hartt school of music

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"red is the color of music and has been since the very earliest of times. the caps of faeries and musicians are well-nigh always red."~*~w.b.yeats

"I think that happiness is when you can let yourself feel every emotion you want at any time instead of being a lying little fuck." - Tori Amos

[SIUAGD]

"if you can't tell someone what you do because it's THAT BAD, it's probably wrong. but if you DON'T tell someone what you do because you're LOYAL...that's trust and honesty within the organization.
etienne
sigma alpha iota-the hartt school of music"


I agree with you totally. There is a huge difference between loyalty and 'covering up'. I have never told a soul anything about our rituals, initiation, house secrets,etc. In our chapter, even something a sister tells you in confidence is considered chapter secrecy. Our sisterhood is tight enough that we can handle it. And its not because any of it was bad, but because I loved my sisters and my house so much, that things like that should be kept within the "family" of AGD's. My parents had a hard time understanding this, and understandably so;I'm the only person in my family to go greek, so with all the bad media, they were kinda worried(they're okay with it now). But my friends from home- totally different story. One of them actually told me that if I didn't tell her then I must not consider her a friend, which is totally not true. But I earned the priviledge to learn those secrets, and if they were shared with just anyone, they'd no longer be special and my bond with my sisters would not be what it is. If someone is telling their ritual from any house, its such a disappointment to the others in the house, and its sad when you know someone's loyalty to you isn't as strong as yours for them.

[RUgreek]

I stand corrected.

RUgreek

Someone will have to correct me on this. But I have heard that in some sisterhoods/brotherhoods, spouses were allowed some otherwise privilaged information. My sisterhood doesn't have this kind of provision. But I have heard of it.

[NoLongerGreek]

Originally posted by Artimis:
Someone will have to correct me on this. But I have heard that in some sisterhoods/brotherhoods, spouses were allowed some otherwise privilaged information. My sisterhood doesn't have this kind of provision. But I have heard of it.

I have also heard of this practice. The fraternities I've heard of that practice this made a rule that provided this "significant other" (whether it be a wife or fiancee, whatever) was wearing the letters of the fraternity, she was allowed privileges to normally secret information.

I also know of a woman who witnessed part of a fraternity's initiation rituals. Now, technically, she can wear their letters, and she has access to their secrets. Seemed kind of odd to me, but whatever...

[Dewgirl]

Originally posted by NoLongerGreek:
This "significant other" (whether it be a wife or fiancee, whatever) was wearing the letters of the fraternity, she was allowed privileges to normally secret information.

I think the practices vary from GLO to GLO. My sorority has NO provision for letting anyone know any of our secrets. When I dated a Pike (Pi Kappa Alpha) I was allowed to wear his letters almost immediately, but not allowed to know any secret knowledge. A friend of mine is lavoliered into another fraternity and probably knows the ritual better than the brothers, but isn't allowed to wear letters except for a necklace. so it varies..I think fraternities are actually a little more open to it than sororities, since most of them lavolier.



[This message has been edited by Dewgirl (edited August 11, 2000).]

[NoLongerGreek]

Originally posted by Dewgirl:
I think the practices vary from GLO to GLO. My sorority has NO provision for letting anyone know any of our secrets. When I dated a Pike (Pi Kappa Alpha) I was allowed to wear his letters almost immediately, but not allowed to know any secret knowledge. A friend of mine is lavoliered into another fraternity and probably knows the ritual better than the brothers, but isn't allowed to wear letters except for a necklace. so it varies..I think fraternities are actually a little more open to it than sororities, since most of them lavolier.

[This message has been edited by Dewgirl (edited August 11, 2000).]

We have similar information for a reason, Dewgirl-- I dated a Pike for a year. I was not permitted to wear letters until we were "ready to get engaged", but that differs amongst chapters from what I understand. One Pike came up to visit last weekend and his girlfriend of a week was allowed to wear his letters.

Having a boyfriend in a fraternity, though, I think you're bound to find out at least a few things that you're probably not supposed to know... unless the man and his brothers are overly cautious about what they say.

[Crimson Diva]

How can it be o.k if you vow never to reveal any of their secrets or rituals to anyone. Best friends who are not in the same organization may reveal them another time or whose to say you won't ever get in a fight. If you tell everything then nothing is a secret to find out. My sister is a member of my sorority and never told me any secrets until the day I became a member. I would love to tell my own daughter, but I just can't because I would be breaking a vow. My spouse doesn not even know. And NO nothing was so bad at initiation that I could not tell it.

[Positive Kay]

The key word is "SECRET". If something is supposed to stay a secret between you and a friend, for example, are you supposed to tell? NOPE! SOOOOOOOOOO...........the same applies here!!!

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Set your goal!! Strive!! Bask in your reward!!

Positive Kay

[DeltAlum]

I can't speak for other fraternities, but our secrets and ritual can't be shared with anyone but another initiated member of Delta Tau Delta. I thought it was that way with all Greek Letter Organizations, but I could be wrong.

DeltAlum

[12dn94dst]

Originally posted by DeltAlum:
I can't speak for other fraternities, but our secrets and ritual can't be shared with anyone but another initiated member of Delta Tau Delta. I thought it was that way with all Greek Letter Organizations, but I could be wrong.

DeltAlum

The sharing of secrets with non-members is a new one for me too.

[Pike4Life]

Originally posted by NoLongerGreek:
We have similar information for a reason, Dewgirl-- I dated a Pike for a year. I was not permitted to wear letters until we were "ready to get engaged", but that differs amongst chapters from what I understand. One Pike came up to visit last weekend and his girlfriend of a week was allowed to wear his letters.

I'm a Pike Alum and current Pike chapter advisor, andn I can tell you that NO ONE other than the mother, wife, widow, daughter, sister, fiancee, or chapter housemother, are allowed to wear the Badge (Brother's Pin). LEtters are a different thing...depends on the chapter, but most do not allow anyone but those that are lavaliered or made a Dreamgirl to wear the letters. And in regards to the Ritual and Secrets, NO ONE outside the initiated Brothers is permitted to have access or be told about our Secrets...not your mother, your wife, NOBODY!!

Having a boyfriend in a fraternity, though, I think you're bound to find out at least a few things that you're probably not supposed to know... unless the man and his brothers are overly cautious about what they say.