Rushing as a Sophomore After Being Cut as a Freshman

[runreddy]

I have decided to go through formal recruitment this year as a sophomore after being cut last year and I'm looking for some advice.

A little background. I go to a mid-sized university where about a third of the students are in greek life. Sophomores do rush at my school, but there are no quotas for them and they make up 5/50 girls in a pledge class max. Sororities only offer formal recruitment once a year in the spring.

Last year I rushed and was cut from 6/9 houses on campus after the first day (only left with the two houses i cut and one other). I was obviously heart broken and at the time didn't understand how this could have happened. The next round I was cut by a house I didn't really care about (let's call it orange ). I went to philanthropy at two houses I didn't really care for and I think ended up being cut because I didn't connect with the girls/subconsciously wasn't interested. After recruitment I ended up getting a snap bid from Orange house, but did not accept because I didn't connect with the girls/the house is REALLY struggling.

Looking back at it all I can think of was that I was not interesting enough. I was so concerned with following the "rules" of what you could talk about during rush that I ended up being boring. I also think it didn't help that my extracurriculars were less than stellar and I knew NO active sorority women.

Going into rush this year all of my friends are in sororities. All four of my roommates are in one house and I have close friends spread throughout the others.

I guess the advice I'm looking for is, given my situation, how do I set myself apart as a sophomore? Where should I draw the line between following the rules of what to talk about during rush and letting my slightly weird, unique personality shine through? Also if anyone has any other tips on how to successfully go through recruitment next year.

[SoCalGirl]

Originally Posted by runreddy

I have decided to go through formal recruitment this year as a sophomore after being cut last year and I'm looking for some advice.

A little background. I go to a mid-sized university where about a third of the students are in greek life. Sophomores do rush at my school, but there are no quotas for them and they make up 5/50 girls in a pledge class max. Sororities only offer formal recruitment once a year in the spring.

Last year I rushed and was cut from 6/9 houses on campus after the first day (only left with the two houses i cut and one other). I was obviously heart broken and at the time didn't understand how this could have happened. The next round I was cut by a house I didn't really care about (let's call it orange ). I went to philanthropy at two houses I didn't really care for and I think ended up being cut because I didn't connect with the girls/subconsciously wasn't interested. After recruitment I ended up getting a snap bid from Orange house, but did not accept because I didn't connect with the girls/the house is REALLY struggling.

Looking back at it all I can think of was that I was not interesting enough. I was so concerned with following the "rules" of what you could talk about during rush that I ended up being boring. I also think it didn't help that my extracurriculars were less than stellar and I knew NO active sorority women.

Going into rush this year all of my friends are in sororities. All four of my roommates are in one house and I have close friends spread throughout the others.

I guess the advice I'm looking for is, given my situation, how do I set myself apart as a sophomore? Where should I draw the line between following the rules of what to talk about during rush and letting my slightly weird, unique personality shine through? Also if anyone has any other tips on how to successfully go through recruitment next year.

Can you expand more on the "rules of what to talk about"? The rule of thumb about what not to talk about includes Boys, Bible, Booze, Bank, and Business (sorority business). Unless you're a boy crazy, Bible thumping alcoholic who likes to brag how wealthy your parents are while asking nosey questions I would think there'd be plenty to talk about.

For anyone re-rushing the general suggestion is know members (you do), be active in campus organizations (especially leadership roles), have good grades, and don't do anything that would lead you to having a bad rep among the chapters.

[carnation]

If your grades and extracurriculars are very good this year, that should help too. No one wants a member who drags down the chapter GPA and won't participate on campus.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by runreddy

I guess the advice I'm looking for is, given my situation, how do I set myself apart as a sophomore? Where should I draw the line between following the rules of what to talk about during rush and letting my slightly weird, unique personality shine through? Also if anyone has any other tips on how to successfully go through recruitment next year.

Do you mean talking about possibly quirky interests? I'm picturing, like, you are super into gaming or comics or something like that, which are perfectly normal interests, but maybe not "mainstream" topics for sorority rush. If that's the case, you treat them like any other interest...if you were into something like tennis, and your hostess wasn't, you'd back off of the topic and try to search for some common ground.

[carnation]

You have to gauge how quirky is too quirky. For instance, if you're into cosplay, many people here have indicated that that would be a no-go for them. I'm sure that others can think of examples.

[Sciencewoman]

On the other hand, my combination preppy/artsy daughter (who is Carnation's sister) enjoys cosplay, and so do some of her chapter sisters!

Here's the rub -- from your post, it sounds like you're looking at tiers/ranking. The sororities that cut you may not be as open to quirky interests. Be yourself, realizing that you'll be happiest in a chapter where you don't have to try to be someone you're not. As a sophomore, you will have to be open to any and all groups, which you weren't last year. Honestly, your options will be even more limited now that some groups have cut you, and you declined a snap bid.

Since you have spring recruitment, you will need to "put yourself out there" during the fall...join a couple extracurriculars and become an active member, nuture real friendships with sorority women, and realize that you aren't going into recruitment with a fresh slate. Be open to all groups and focus on finding a home that's a good fit.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

my combination preppy/artsy daughter (who is Carnation's sister)

[runreddy]

Sorry my post might have been confusing, but I'm not asking this because I'm into weird things. I actually have no idea what "cosplay" is and I know what lapping is and that's definitely not my style. I'm asking because last year all I talked about was majors and classes and stuff because that is what they asked about. I'm wondering how I can spin those questions to show the more interesting, funny, and charismatic side of myself?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by runreddy

Sorry my post might have been confusing, but I'm not asking this because I'm into weird things. I actually have no idea what "cosplay" is. I'm asking because last year all I talked about was majors and classes and stuff because that is what they asked about. I'm wondering how I can spin those questions to show the more interesting, funny, and charismatic side of myself?

Well, if you know a lot of women in sororities, and it sounds like you do, you should be past these openers and be able to talk about things that are more interesting to you/them.

[Sciencewoman]

I'm going to reemphasize what I said about this fall. This advice is specific to your situation...a sophomore preparing for a second deferred recruitment. This is not the same as freshman, new-on-campus summer recruitment. Members already know you, or of you. I would really work on building rapport this fall...with deferred recruitment, that's much more important than what happens during recruitment week itself. Deferred Recruitment Week is like the icing on the cake...spend the fall baking the cake itself. Recruitment week conversations should not be your primary focus. Spend the fall demonstrating what a great sister you would be. With deferred recruitment, members have a lot more time to get to know PNMs and they will often have a good idea of who they'd like to have as sisters, before recruitmnet week.

[33girl]

It sounds like you also got a lot of rushers who were overly nervous about going into one of those B topics and kept dragging the conversation back to academics. If you're talking to people you know, it isn't going to be like that.

[DubaiSis]

My advice is to have 3 interesting stories in your back pocket ready to pull out when the conversation starts to lag. I fell off a trapeze once. I ran into a girlfriend of mine from Dubai while at a gas station in the middle of nowhere New Mexico. I ended up staying in the hugest (and crappiest) suite at the Westward Ho in Las Vegas when my parents got bumped from their flight and my sister and I were on our own for a night.

No matter what, they'll remember you and probably bless you for not being the 400th conversation about the weather, the biology department or spending your summer working at camp.

If a 3rd of the school is Greek, that is A LOT. You need to find a way to stand out, but in a good way.

[Ag_Sis]

Originally Posted by carnation

You have to gauge how quirky is too quirky. For instance, if you're into cosplay, many people here have indicated that that would be a no-go for them. I'm sure that others can think of examples.

Haha I actually have this "problem" myself! I've got kind of a nerdy/quirky hobby (DM me if you're curious - don't want to give too much of myself away) and I'm worried about how to bring it up without seeming too weird or uncool. When I've mentioned it to people in the past, they're either like "that's so cool!" And ask me all kinds of questions and think that it's neat, but others are like "oh... How interesting?" If my rusher's response is the latter, what's the appropriate way to respond? Do I work to find common ground or do I wait for her to direct the conversation somewhere else? Should I drop the topic entirely and transition immediately into the time that my soccer team accidentally left our coach in the bathroom of a Subway during regionals? (Completely made up story by the way, but something similar did happen).

[1964Alum]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I'm going to reemphasize what I said about this fall. This advice is specific to your situation...a sophomore preparing for a second deferred recruitment. This is not the same as freshman, new-on-campus summer recruitment. Members already know you, or of you. I would really work on building rapport this fall...with deferred recruitment, that's much more important than what happens during recruitment week itself. Deferred Recruitment Week is like the icing on the cake...spend the fall baking the cake itself. Recruitment week conversations should not be your primary focus. Spend the fall demonstrating what a great sister you would be. With deferred recruitment, members have a lot more time to get to know PNMs and they will often have a good idea of who they'd like to have as sisters, before recruitmnet week.

Agreed! Our recruitment back in the Dark Ages was deferred for an entire year, giving both us as PNMs and the GLO actives time to get to know each other. By the time formal recruitment rolled around, a lot of the selection had informally taken place. Now is the time to build relationships and bolster your activities and GPA to show how you can contribute to a group. Be impeccable in your dress and off hours behavior at ALL times. And of course be certain that you have your recs in place!

[MaggieXi]

I re read your first post and you didn't mention your grades or if you were involved in anything on campus. If you had average conversations, a GPA that was near the cut off to go through recruitment and you weren't involved in anything on campus - I can see why you might have been cut early on by 6 out of9 early on.