D&R Random

[KAPPAcino]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

No. I said hello to a stranger. He said he was looking for casual sex.

Your post read as though you were chatting with someone online and asking questions to see where he was coming from. So are you going to hook up with him?

[KAPPAcino]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

lol
Hilarious! I laughed til' my sides started hurting when I read his post. And you're not helping the pain of my laughter with that gif and song.

Whose post were you referring to? Mine? I was actually being serious.

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by KAPPAcino

Your post read as though you were chatting with someone online and asking questions to see where he was coming from. So are you going to hook up with him?

No. While I'm ok with people doing what makes them happy (consensually of course), that is not where I am right now. Forgetting the fact that the state of my abs right now would preclude it, I am not emotionally in a position to just get mine. And I have to fight off daily (well, not fight, just not respond) requests from the subtly suggestive to the outright disgusting.

I will give him props for being honest and knowing that I was not the one for him.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Unlimited data?

You know it! T-Mobile.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

No. While I'm ok with people doing what makes them happy (consensually of course), that is not where I am right now. Forgetting the fact that the state of my abs right now would preclude it, I am not emotionally in a position to just get mine. And I have to fight off daily (well, not fight, just not respond) requests from the subtly suggestive to the outright disgusting.

I will give him props for being honest and knowing that I was not the one for him.

Good for you for knowing what you do and do not want. Same for him knowing what he does and does not want.

Just remember that varying perspectives on beliefs and spirituality allow him to both be a Christian and be someone who has casual sex.

[DubaiSis]

I think it's interpretation of Very Important. He or others might mean he believes in God. I read a relatively firm believer in the current version of the bible as a document to be taken literally.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by KAPPAcino

I was actually being serious.

Umm, that's why I was laughing?

[KAPPAcino]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

No. While I'm ok with people doing what makes them happy (consensually of course), that is not where I am right now. Forgetting the fact that the state of my abs right now would preclude it, I am not emotionally in a position to just get mine. And I have to fight off daily (well, not fight, just not respond) requests from the subtly suggestive to the outright disgusting.

I will give him props for being honest and knowing that I was not the one for him.

Did you and your ex-husband have any kids?

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by KAPPAcino

Did you and your ex-husband have any kids?

No. I'm a recovering "fixer" from way back, but even then I knew that having kids with an alcoholic was a bad idea.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

No. I'm a recovering "fixer" from way back,

What's a recovering "fixer"?

[DubaiSis]

A person who thinks they can fix people. Our favorite subject are alcoholics, drug addicts, spenders, abusers, that sort of thing. Through our love we can FIX people. Except that we can't.

And thus I'm recovering. And so far, making my way through dating sites, I've had a couple near misses. But so far, so good. Weirdos and freaks, but no alcoholics

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

A person who thinks they can fix people. Our favorite subject are alcoholics, drug addicts, spenders, abusers, that sort of thing. Through our love we can FIX people. Except that we can't.

And thus I'm recovering. And so far, making my way through dating sites, I've had a couple near misses. But so far, so good. Weirdos and freaks, but no alcoholics

lol
I was going to delete my post because I actually thought I figured out what a "recovering fixer" was. I was way off. I would get laughed off of GC if I posted what I actually thought it was.

[Diamond Girl]

Originally Posted by StealthMode

I think that's (part of) the point. If you are just "befriending," them being "taken" shouldn't be an issue. Hanging out with guys without the intention of dating them can tell you a lot about men, yourself, what you like and dislike in men (that you didn't know before), etc. You'd be surprised what kind of stuff comes up when you're not focused on the "are you the one and where is this going?" aspect of things.

I'm doing well, thanks for asking! I'm just working and schooling mostly. Taking a break from my proposal presentation to chat with Elmer--no, that's not his real name. He is a great example of just chatting and getting to know someone with no expectations. He's going hard at work and this damn dissertation is sucking the life out of me so we support each other even if we can't link up much. I wouldn't even call this dating TBH. We just spent a little time talking about his new job (he recently left his job for one with better hours). Then he let me vent about this presentation then kicked me off the phone and told me to get back too it. It's really nice. It means a lot to me that he hasn't been around long enough for me to automatically expect him to encourage me and cheer me on but he does it anyway.

Very true. And this guy that you're friends with seems very respectful of your time with school, and you of his work hours. How did you meet him? I have men as associates that I would like to have that kind of relationship with but I'm just not around them enough. We're not at all close in location/cities. I'll keep an open mind, though. Hopefully I'll meet someone nice, whether that's as a friend or someone on a romantic level. And I'm happy to read that school is going well for you.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Most things that come too easy, you don't want it anyway. If it's easy, there's probably something wrong with it.

Good men are out there, DG. They just might not be wrapped in the package you expect. If God, who sees every imperfection in us, loves us anyway, who are we to insist on perfection in another human being? How can you know you're not overlooking a good brother if you don't even give him the time of day?

Most of the men I've gone out with recently have all been men I met online. And every last one of the men I've been out with off and online either wanted to get down my pants, was secretly married, engaged, wasn't working (and lied about having a job), were insecure with my MBA program (because they have a high school diploma or bachelor's only), or they have deep seeded issues with women in general. I'm sorry, but I did give those men a try, looking past some of the things I saw as red flags online. Yet, I still went out with them. But, like I said to StealthMode, I will try to keep an open mind.

Originally Posted by TonyB06

DG, please stop saying this. If a man made the exact same statement "the good ones seem to be taken" would that be true? No, because you, and thousands like you, are still out there. It's no less true of men. It may sound simplistic, but over time, that mindset would seem to wear down your desire to have the type of man you deserve. Not that you'd settle, but that mindset (all the good ones are gone) can't lead to anywhere worth going.

Thank you for the compliment, but see the above. I "say" what I see and have been seeing.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

lol
I was going to delete my post because I actually thought I figured out what a "recovering fixer" was. I was way off. I would get laughed off of GC if I posted what I actually thought it was.

Cheerful, can you please tell me what you thought she meant privately? I won't tell lol. I promise.

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

lol
I was going to delete my post because I actually thought I figured out what a "recovering fixer" was. I was way off. I would get laughed off of GC if I posted what I actually thought it was.

Funny. Passive-aggressive, not nefarious or dirty. I'm a text book adult child of an alcoholic but I've worked a lot on resolving those issues. But at the time of meeting my husband I didn't have those issues under control.

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by Diamond Girl

Thank you for the compliment, but see the above. I "say" what I see and have been seeing.

You're in Chicago, right? I know there are good bruhs in your area. Heck, probably even some decent Ques you could go out with. .......nah, scratch that Que part.