Why in the world should a lady be expected to join a house she didn't want to?

[ISUKappa]

I absolutely agree there is a big difference between "I cannot see myself in this house, ever" and "well, they weren't my first choice but they were up there, so I'll give them a try." And there are some ladies who really felt comfortable in all houses they preffed and would be equally as happy for a bid from any of them. A PNM never, ever has to accept a bid if she absolutely doesn't want to and the Recruitment Counselor needs to make it absolutely clear that if she lists the sorority anywhere on her preference card, that means she is willing to accept a bid from them.

Things were done in private at our campus, as well. Each morning of recruitment our (then) Rho Chis would meet with us each individually to go over our invite lists and make sure we were okay with who and how many we got invited back to. There was one morning I was absolutely crushed I didn't get invited back to some particular houses and my Rho Chi was the only one who knew. Same thing went with our bid cards. They were given out individually and each girl had her own moment to open and see what it was. If she felt like she wasn't able to accept the bid, she told the Rho Chi in private and then had the opportunity to leave before the rest of the Bid day activities began.

[Kevin]

Originally posted by honeychile
One way to look at it is this: haven't you ever seen a couple pairs of pants (shoes, etc), and thought, WOW! I really like this pair, but this other pair is pretty cool, too. Then you look at the fit, and the first pair just doesn't fit the way you imagined. So, you try on the other pair, and it fits.

Right, and she's likely to get a bid when she goes after her second pair of shoes?

[reverie]

Originally posted by ktsnake
Right, and she's likely to get a bid when she goes after her second pair of shoes?

Well, every year the styles are changing. Not just in clothing, but in the houses themselves. New girls are being elected to offices and you have an entire new group of active sisters from the previous recruitment.

[astroAPhi]

Originally posted by ktsnake
Right, and she's likely to get a bid when she goes after her second pair of shoes?

Well, not right away, because the NPC rules require a PNM to wait a year before receiving a bid from another sorority IF they receive a bid. This is why a girl shouldn't put a sorority on her bid card if she doesn't want a bid from them.

I know a lot of people look down on ISP/suiciding, but when you're on a campus with 2-3 NPCs, I think it's a lot more likely to happen. The 2 current sororities on my campus are very different, and it's easy to figure out where you're most comfortable. I was highly discouraged to suicide even though I would have not been happy with a bid from the other organization. When I finally understood how bid matching worked, I realized how close I could have been to receiving a bid from another sorority because I was told I HAD to put both down.

[mu_agd]

Originally posted by astroAPhi
Well, not right away, because the NPC rules require a PNM to wait a year before receiving a bid from another sorority IF they receive a bid. This is why a girl shouldn't put a sorority on her bid card if she doesn't want a bid from them.

i thought it was only if she signed her bid card thens he couldn't pledge another one for a year. am i wrong?

[Sister Havana]

At IU everything is done one on one too. The Rho Chis were assigned to dorm floors, and she would come to your room to deliver your lists. I dropped out of formal midway through, but I assume your bids or "We're sorry..." envelopes were also delivered to you in your room as well.

[carnation]

Do y'all remember a few years back when a PNM told us that at her school on Bid Day, the PNMs stood in a circle holding hands and shut their eyes and the Rho Chis came around and tapped the shoulders of those who didn't receive a bid and they had to step out of the circle? Then everyone opened their eyes to see who was still in the circle and had a bid.

I almost cried for the girls without bids.

[aopirose]

Originally posted by carnation
Do y'all remember a few years back when a PNM told us that at her school on Bid Day, the PNMs stood in a circle holding hands and shut their eyes and the Rho Chis came around and tapped the shoulders of those who didn't receive a bid and they had to step out of the circle? Then everyone opened their eyes to see who was still in the circle and had a bid.

I almost cried for the girls without bids.

Yes, that was heartbreaking.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by mu_agd
i thought it was only if she signed her bid card thens he couldn't pledge another one for a year. am i wrong?

I think that if you receive a bid through formal rush you are bound to that sorority for a year. That's how I remember it. PenguinTrax could probably clarify this.

carnation, I don't remember that, but it is awfully unkind to do that.

[jharb]

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
I think that if you receive a bid through formal rush you are bound to that sorority for a year. That's how I remember it. PenguinTrax could probably clarify this.

carnation, I don't remember that, but it is awfully unkind to do that.

The way it works is that you can only pledge that house for the next year. We had a girl who accepted a bid, and was a new member but for some reason didn't get initiated. She didn't want to go through formal recruitment but was able to re-pledge within the year time frame. If you accept the bid, don't go through with it you can't go through recruitment of any kind for another year.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by carnation
Do y'all remember a few years back when a PNM told us that at her school on Bid Day, the PNMs stood in a circle holding hands and shut their eyes and the Rho Chis came around and tapped the shoulders of those who didn't receive a bid and they had to step out of the circle? Then everyone opened their eyes to see who was still in the circle and had a bid.

I almost cried for the girls without bids.

[Janice] Oh. My. God!! [/Janice]

That is just plain cruel!!!!!!

When we signed our bid list, we had to give a telephone number where we would be between 4-6pm that day. If we didn't get a bid, we would get a phone call during those hours. If we didn't get a phone call, we had a bid, and were to show up at the Greek Advisors office at 7pm to receive it, then we rushed outside the Student Union to meet up with our new sisters!

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

I'm not a huge fan of James' starting these threads questioning the operations of the NPC.

Seems to me like it's perfectly rational to be like, "Hey, I don't get why girls have to list x number of groups on their cards, even if they would only consider one of those groups." To ask honest questions and want honest answers.

That's not really what this is though. James certainly understands the concepts behind formal rush -- probably more so than any other male on here -- so why stir stuff up just to stir stuff up?

Our rush system isn't perfect, but right now, it's the best that we have to work with. James has basically pointed out a problem that isn't a problem -- as you ladies demonstrated -- so..... what's the point?

[ISUKappa]

Originally posted by mu_agd
i thought it was only if she signed her bid card thens he couldn't pledge another one for a year. am i wrong?

I used to be confused about this too. At most schools, putting a chapter down during prefs and signing the card is akin to signing a bid card--the year-wait rule still applies.

James--you're just cackling behind your computer at all the trouble you stir up, aren't you?

[adpiucf]

Most likely in a sorority of medium size, you will find a niche and be comfortable. Sororities' missions are essentially the same-- to promote friendship, academic excellence and community support. You will find women eager to find a common bond, and will no doubt make friends in any sorority that you pledge, whether it was your first choice or your seventh.

That being said, it IS your choice. As I always say, Greek Life is a great experience, but getting involved with some aspect of campus life that you enjoy is what will define your college experience. If you don't get out of recruitment what you had hoped, there are scores of other organizations on campus where you can form fraternal bonds and wonderful experiences.

So, if you go through recruitment, do keep an open mind. And also remember, if you go to prefs and you fill out a bid card, you are bound to the results of that bid matching for a full school year. So why not give it a shot? What do you have to lose?

[Kevin]

Originally posted by astroAPhi
Well, not right away, because the NPC rules require a PNM to wait a year before receiving a bid from another sorority IF they receive a bid. This is why a girl shouldn't put a sorority on her bid card if she doesn't want a bid from them.

I know a lot of people look down on ISP/suiciding, but when you're on a campus with 2-3 NPCs, I think it's a lot more likely to happen. The 2 current sororities on my campus are very different, and it's easy to figure out where you're most comfortable. I was highly discouraged to suicide even though I would have not been happy with a bid from the other organization. When I finally understood how bid matching worked, I realized how close I could have been to receiving a bid from another sorority because I was told I HAD to put both down.

Wow, so what you're saying is that they'd be a Junior by the time they could try on that second pair of shoes, eh?

Yeah, I don't think the shoes analogy "fits"